Phil you, need to cut down some of those run on sentences. You have their instead of there, and its instead of it's.

that's a good good letter, dude

You use 'Canada' 3 times in the 2nd paragraph, I think it sounds a bit much.

After first 'Canada' you need to put one OF the best experiences.

You need to end the sentence after '....believe in fiction films. Your film....'

Tried to cut those run-ons down a little.



I’m a second year university student studying a bachelors of Arts degree in film and television production (equivalent to a third year film student at a Canadian university) at York St John University in the UK.

I was fortunate enough to be chosen to take part in an exchange program that allowed me to study for four months at the University of Regina Saskatchewan. I loved it in Canada, it was one the best experiences of my entire life. I loved it there so much that I am working toward emigration to Canada after university. Fortunately my course allows me to do a fourteen week internship (from September to December) at a film company and I would like to do it in Canada.

I am fascinated by documentary because it is an attempt to understand humanity. It is amazing how many times we are shown something unique about society, things that we would never believe in fiction films. Your film ‘If only I were an Indian’ is a prime example of this. The idea of a group of Czech youths emulating North American First Nations culture is so odd, but it is reality.

As you can see from my resume, I’ve worked in various environments including location filming on documentaries. Whilst in Canada I worked on a documentary called ‘single or something like it’ which followed an individual trying to be single in a world that is pressuring him to be in a relationship. In the UK we are in the pre-production stage for a documentary that attempts to uncover the route of comedy, “Why we find it funny?”. We intend to achieve this by interviewing stand up comedians at various levels of success in the hope that this will provide us with answers.

I have worked in various roles in productions including sound, camera, editor, P.A and researcher. I also have experience with 35 mm film photography as well as digital.

I’m a hard working individual always ready to go the extra mile to achieve my goals and the goals set by others.

also need to end sentence '....pressuring him to be in a relationship. In the U.K....'

the czar nailed it, sounds good.

Thanks for the help everyone I find it really hard to spot things like run on sentences even when I check things over myself.

I think I should not have left the period after the title "Why we find it funny?"

I assume that is the name of the documentary.

Nope, we havent got a name for it yet, though I might pitch that one.

By the way I owe you all big time, once I get my first pay from my new job I'll be sending street team points everyone way.

okay, so if that is not the title, lose those quotes I put in.

i think you have to put a comma after "Dear Mr Paskievich"

Thanks everyone, I sent it off, I just have to re work the covering letter for each company I'm applying to.

Do you need the part about the Canadian equivalent of where you are in uni? That part sounds a bit awkward still. The third paragraph is confusing to me. Maybe elaborate on it a little so it's less confusing? I changed a few small things and fixed some of the grammar and punctuation.



Dear Mr. Paskievich,



I am a second year university student pursuing a Bachelor of Arts degree in film and television production at York St. John University in the U.K. This is equivalent to a third year film student at a Canadian university.



I was fortunate enough to take part in an exchange program that allowed me to study for four months at the University of Regina in Saskatchewan. I loved it in Canada so much I am working toward emigration to Canada after university. My course allows me to do a fourteen week internship, from September to December, at a film company and I would like to do it in Canada.



I am fascinated by documentary because its an attempt to understand humanity, it is amazing how many times we are shown something unique about society, things that we would never believe in fiction films. Your film ‘If Only I Were an Indian’ is a prime example of this. The idea of a group of Czech youths emulating North American First Nations culture is so odd, but it is reality all the same.



As you can see from my resume, I’ve worked in various environments including location filming on documentaries. While in Canada, I worked on a documentary called ‘Single Or Something Like It’ which followed an individual trying to be single in a world that is pressuring him to be in a relationship. In the U.K., we are in the pre-production stage for a documentary that attempts to uncover the root of comedy and why we find it funny. We intend to achieve this by interviewing stand up comedians at various levels of success in their careers in the hope that this will provide us with answers.



I have had various roles in productions including sound, camera, editor, P.A and researcher. I also have experience with 35 mm film photography and digital photography.



I’m a hard working individual always who is ready to go the extra mile and work hard to achieve my goals and the goals set by others.



Yours sincerely,



Phillip Johnson

root not route. There not their. I am instead of I'm. Double check spelling and punctuation! :)

aw man, I missed the route thing, I thought he meant something very different!



Sorry , Phil

The part about 35mm is a nice touch. John just had a new book of photos published-he began his carreer as a still photographer.

I would take out the reference to his "if only I were an indian" because it implies you have seen it. But incorperate your fasination with documentary films(that whole sentance)

elsewhere in the letter.

Squeege did a great job editing.

: )

Thanks, do you mind if I send it you again tazocat?