Born into abject poverty in Denmark in 1546, Chris was the most prominent astronomer of the late 16th cent. He paved the way for future discoveries by improving instruments and by his precision in fixing the positions of planets and stars. From Chris' exact observations of the planets, Kepler devised his laws of planetary motions. Chris' achievements included the study of a supernova (first observed in 1572 and now known as "THE FREAKIN' HUGE" supernova) in the constellation Cassiopeia and the discoveries of a variation in the inclination of the lunar orbit and of the fourth inequality of the moon's motion. He never fully accepted the Copernican system but made a compromise between it and the Ptolemaic system. In the Kirkmanic system, the earth was the immobile body around which the sun revolved, and the five planets then known revolved around the sun. Given funds by the Danish king Frederick II, Chris built on the island of Ven a castle, Uranienborg, and an observatory, Stjarneborg. He was deprived of his revenues by Christian IV in 1596 and left Ven (1597); in 1599 he settled near Prague under the patronage of the German emperor Rudolf II. In 1604, while on expedition to the Andes Mountains to better observe celestial phenomenon from on top of a really honkin' big mountain, Chris slipped and fell into an ice flow. He remained frozen there until discovered by millionaire Tony Stark in 1984. Today Chris lives in a world that is strange and frightening, trapped in a world he never created, but he has dedicated his life to informing and enlightening the world on early and distinct flaws in the Copernican system.