I'm not insinuating anything; if you know what I mean.
of 45 votes, 40% like it
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People base their assumptions on their own actions. I know I do.
of 47 votes, 13% like it
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Most people base their assumptions on themselves. I know I do.
of 41 votes, 20% like it
|
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Think INSIDE the box. That's why we bought the box.
of 43 votes, 23% like it
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Vegetarian Zombies want Grains! GRAAAINS!
of 44 votes, 27% like it
|
Never knock on Death's door-Ring the bell and run, he hates that.
of 48 votes, 33% like it
|
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
of 49 votes, 33% like it
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Follow that car, Godzilla - and step on it!
of 48 votes, 10% like it
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Black Holes are God dividing by Zero
of 50 votes, 26% like it
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God Bless those Atheists
of 49 votes, 35% like it
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I've Got a Torso with a Capital T
of 55 votes, 7% like it
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Marilize Legijuana!
of 54 votes, 17% like it
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Math: Putting the Fun in Functions since T=0
of 55 votes, 13% like it
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I have a gender, and I'm really good at it.
of 61 votes, 15% like it
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I'm not insinuating anything - if you know what I mean
of 57 votes, 35% like it
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I'm not insinuating anything... if you know what I mean
of 54 votes, 26% like it
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Cancer: It Grows On You
of 62 votes, 13% like it
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It's hard to be Hitler
of 62 votes, 5% like it
|
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Machine. I just invented a Time-
of 64 votes, 31% like it
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When in doubt, don't bother.
of 62 votes, 15% like it
|
Entropy isn't what it used to be
of 62 votes, 23% like it
|
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Anarchy is better that no government at all
of 61 votes, 15% like it
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History Repeats When Historians Plaigerize
of 61 votes, 21% like it
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Arguments with furniture are rarely productive.
of 62 votes, 16% like it
|
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Today you are a winner. Pick fights with small children.
of 61 votes, 15% like it
|
"No, its not loaded. Watch."
of 61 votes, 11% like it
|
Define the Universe. Give Three Examples.
of 62 votes, 24% like it
|
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When all else fails read the instructions
of 61 votes, 26% like it
|
80% of drivers think they are above average
of 61 votes, 11% like it
|
The Elderly Are A Dying Breed
of 62 votes, 26% like it
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It's only premarital if you get married afterwards
of 61 votes, 23% like it
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Evolution is a Theory, Like Gravity
of 62 votes, 31% like it
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anything worth doing should have been done by now
of 61 votes, 18% like it
|
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Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Copyright Infringement
of 64 votes, 42% like it
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tautologies are tautological
of 62 votes, 13% like it
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I refuse to select attire with your amusement in mind.
of 62 votes, 16% like it
|
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Pirated Movie -- Rated Arr
of 62 votes, 21% like it
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Avoid Big Words When You Can Use Diminuitive Ones
of 57 votes, 18% like it
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Stereotypes Are A Real Time-Saver
of 61 votes, 30% like it
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Are You A Solipsist Too?
of 60 votes, 10% like it
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Software Piracy Just Sounds Too Cool
of 60 votes, 20% like it
|
We Need More Humble Geniuses -- There Are So Few Of Us Left
of 61 votes, 20% like it
|
|
Hokey-Pokey Debate: Really What It's All About?
of 62 votes, 21% like it
|
Vegetarian Zombies Demand Grains
of 64 votes, 33% like it
|
use diminuitive words
of 61 votes, 8% like it
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|
Evolution is a Theory. Like Gravity.
of 63 votes, 21% like it
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To Err Is Human -- To Forgive Is Against Company Policy
of 62 votes, 21% like it
|
Future Darwin Award Winner
of 60 votes, 12% like it
|
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Did god refer to a higher law, or make up his rules arbitrarily?
of 60 votes, 15% like it
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That’s OK, I Wasn’t Using My Civil Liberties Anyway.
of 61 votes, 15% like it
|
Spoonerists are Shining Wits
of 60 votes, 8% like it
|
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Science is hot. Often literally.
of 59 votes, 25% like it
|
I wrote a book on penguins. Paper would have been better.
of 62 votes, 37% like it
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Sex is a joke. I don't get it.
of 60 votes, 10% like it
|
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Nostalgia just ain't what it used to be
of 61 votes, 16% like it
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I pretend to work here, they pretend to pay me
of 60 votes, 17% like it
|
Helicopter Ejector Seat -- Bad Idea
of 60 votes, 15% like it
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Soylent Green is my kind of People
of 60 votes, 25% like it
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Apathetics United -- Meets Whenever
of 58 votes, 19% like it
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Topology - Because Coffee Cups ARE Donuts
of 59 votes, 14% like it
|
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I am an profectionist
of 58 votes, 17% like it
|
you can't fall off the floor
of 56 votes, 16% like it
|
666i: Imaginary Friend of the Beast
of 58 votes, 21% like it
|
|
Bureaucrats are Politicians with Tenure
of 56 votes, 11% like it
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A tautology is something which is tautological.
of 56 votes, 11% like it
|
The Internet is much bigger than it's name.
of 55 votes, 5% like it
|
|
Apathetics Anonymous -- Meets Whenever
of 57 votes, 25% like it
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I like the square root of two. It's kind of irrational.
of 57 votes, 18% like it
|
F(You) = Your Father
of 51 votes, 8% like it
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F(Your Mother) = Your Father's Mother
of 51 votes, 10% like it
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National Sarcasm Society (oh yeah, like we need your support)
of 54 votes, 33% like it
|
Dyslexic Turkeys -- The Mind Gobbles
of 51 votes, 20% like it
|
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F(M(You)) = F(Your Mother) = Your Mother's Father
of 52 votes, 4% like it
|
I'd be a morning person if I didn't have to get up so early
of 63 votes, 33% like it
|
Oh, A Sarcasm Font. That's Really Useful.
of 65 votes, 17% like it
|
|
That's Autastic!
of 61 votes, 15% like it
|
If I am sexy and you know it clap your hands
of 61 votes, 11% like it
|
Go (Heart) Your Own City!
of 61 votes, 25% like it
|
|
2 pi radians makes the world go round
of 60 votes, 23% like it
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Good Ol' Rock. Nothin' Beats Rock.
of 63 votes, 13% like it
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Carp En Denim? Fish In Pants!
of 62 votes, 11% like it
|
|
Have You Walked Your Tamagatchi Today?
of 63 votes, 25% like it
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Change is Good. The rise in sea level alone will be great.
of 62 votes, 16% like it
|
Note to Self: Buy Lottery Tickets from Luckier Store
of 63 votes, 17% like it
|
|
These word-shaped stains are impossible to scrub out
of 66 votes, 30% like it
|
I live with the bullfrogs on the banks of the Hanky Panky
of 63 votes, 14% like it
|
so help me, if I catch one more person reading this shirt...
of 71 votes, 30% like it
|
|
End Women's Suffrage! Women have suffraged long enough!
of 68 votes, 13% like it
|
Eat your food, there are kids in hollywood with eating disorders.
of 65 votes, 34% like it
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There is a 70% chance that it is already raining
of 63 votes, 17% like it
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Jesus died for your Sims™
of 65 votes, 17% like it
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It would've been cheaper to just BUY every building in Iraq
of 63 votes, 27% like it
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I wear the pants in our relationship. She just picks which ones.
of 65 votes, 32% like it
|
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On a scale from 1 to 10 you are an idiot.
of 64 votes, 22% like it
|
There's no I in TEAM, but there are 4 in Platitude Quoting Idiot
of 64 votes, 20% like it
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Hyperbole is Overrated
of 64 votes, 16% like it
|
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The police will never think it is as funny as you do.
of 66 votes, 32% like it
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Logic tells us that dishonesty is still the second-best policy.
of 63 votes, 32% like it
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There are 2 rules of success: 1. Never tell all you know
of 68 votes, 25% like it
|
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Imitation is the sincerest form of copyright infringement.
of 66 votes, 33% like it
|
Sex is hereditary. You won't have it if your parents didn't.
of 64 votes, 28% like it
|
History may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme a lot.
of 64 votes, 25% like it
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Anything worth doing should have been done by now.
of 64 votes, 27% like it
|
A mind is a terrible thing to confuse with an egg.
of 62 votes, 19% like it
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Voted Most Likely To Secede: Class of 1825
of 62 votes, 21% like it
|
|
Evolution is a theory. You know, like Gravity.
of 65 votes, 35% like it
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Its not who you know. Its whom.
of 63 votes, 21% like it
|
Carpe Diem -- Sieze the day. Carp En Denim -- Fish in Pants.
of 62 votes, 18% like it
|
|
A woman gives birth every twelve seconds. She must be stopped.
of 62 votes, 19% like it
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We're all here because we are not all there.
of 61 votes, 15% like it
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It's not premarital if you never get married.
of 62 votes, 19% like it
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Silicone. Saline. I support a woman's right to choose.
of 63 votes, 6% like it
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There are two ways to argue with a woman. Neither works.
of 62 votes, 16% like it
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Octogenarians are a dying breed
of 60 votes, 10% like it
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Life. Its just a cereal.
of 62 votes, 21% like it
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Quidquid Latine Dictum Sit Altum Sonatur
of 60 votes, 12% like it
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Atheists Riot After Blank Paper Is Found On Cartoonist's Desk
of 63 votes, 17% like it
|
|
If God is within, I hope He likes Enchiladas
of 60 votes, 20% like it
|
On the advice of legal counsel, this shirt contains no message.
of 60 votes, 22% like it
|
National Sarcasm Society (Like we need your support)
of 61 votes, 23% like it
|
|
This space left accidentally blank.
of 60 votes, 7% like it
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Do not mark in this space.
of 59 votes, 7% like it
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If you are O/C and you know it, wash your hands
of 61 votes, 18% like it
|
|
Steal my identity. Please.
of 60 votes, 18% like it
|
Ask me about my explosively violent reaction to dumb questions
of 61 votes, 25% like it
|
Lead me not into temptation. I know my way.
of 62 votes, 32% like it
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|
Change is good. You go first.
of 61 votes, 30% like it
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Eliminate and Abolish Redundancy
of 60 votes, 15% like it
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Had a life. Got a modem.
of 61 votes, 16% like it
|
|
Don't you think hard work must have killed at least one person?
of 61 votes, 33% like it
|
The passive voice is to be avoided.
of 61 votes, 25% like it
|
too much pluribus, not enough unum
of 61 votes, 28% like it
|
|
THIS MESSAGE WILL NOT BE REPEATED
of 60 votes, 12% like it
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This shirt brought to you by the numbers 1 and 0
of 60 votes, 7% like it
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I'm glad Im not judgemental like all you smug, superficial idiots
of 62 votes, 29% like it
|
|
I love inferiority complexes. Huge ones!
of 60 votes, 7% like it
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We are as similar as two completely dissimilar things in a pod.
of 59 votes, 12% like it
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People tell me I have potential. I guess we'll never know.
of 60 votes, 17% like it
|
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If it weren't for physics and law enforcement I'd be unstoppable.
of 63 votes, 35% like it
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I never apologize. I'm sorry, that's just who I am.
of 60 votes, 17% like it
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I'd be a morning person if it didn't start so late in the day
of 59 votes, 8% like it
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On second thought, NO AGAIN!
of 58 votes, 7% like it
|
A barrel full of monkeys would be horrific.
of 60 votes, 28% like it
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Everything in Moderation (including moderation)
of 59 votes, 15% like it
|
|
Don't say ironic when you mean coincidental.
of 60 votes, 28% like it
|
Don't use a big word where a diminuitive one will suffice.
of 60 votes, 32% like it
|
DONT HIT KIDS. No seriously, they have guns now.
of 59 votes, 20% like it
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Give Blood -- Play Hockey
of 59 votes, 10% like it
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If you are rich, I am single.
of 57 votes, 9% like it
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I Still Miss My Ex - But My Aim Is Improving
of 58 votes, 9% like it
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Kick Me - I Need The Money
of 60 votes, 7% like it
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D.A.M. - Mothers Against Dyslexia
of 60 votes, 10% like it
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Good Grammar Are Hot!
of 60 votes, 13% like it
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|
Who is on first
of 58 votes, 7% like it
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Showers make me wet
of 60 votes, 15% like it
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got grok?
of 59 votes, 5% like it
|
|
Chromatophobia: Fear of colors
of 58 votes, 10% like it
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Gnosiophobia: Fear of knowledge
of 59 votes, 10% like it
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Phronemophobia: Fear of thinking
of 59 votes, 8% like it
|
|
Xanthophobia: Fear of the color yellow (on a yellow shirt)
of 58 votes, 9% like it
|
Essay - Please explain how your major is not a joke.
of 59 votes, 12% like it
|
Delicious Caulk
of 59 votes, 8% like it
|
|
I like my women the way I like my coffee: Thick and Turkish
of 58 votes, 16% like it
|
I lost my attention, can I borrow yours?
of 58 votes, 12% like it
|
Big Dick's Half-way Inn
of 60 votes, 12% like it
|
|
I can only express confusion bordering on alarm.
of 58 votes, 10% like it
|
28% of Americans expect the rapture in their life. Good Riddance.
of 60 votes, 12% like it
|
I make neither a good door nor a window
of 58 votes, 10% like it
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|
I'm Pastry-Whipped
of 58 votes, 2% like it
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I'm the one writing all those spam emails.
of 59 votes, 12% like it
|
How do blind people find those braille signs?
of 59 votes, 12% like it
|
|
the homosexual community rejected my application
of 59 votes, 12% like it
|
Look, we have the thinking box for a reason.
of 59 votes, 12% like it
|
You see, a fellow by the name of Who is our first baseman.
of 59 votes, 15% like it
|
|
Seven Eight Nine Out. Six is taking it really badly.
of 59 votes, 12% like it
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Fast Food Chains - Also Building Bodies To Last A Lifetime.
of 59 votes, 8% like it
|
My other car is an internal combustion shoe.
of 60 votes, 7% like it
|
|
College is a fountain of knowledge. Students go there to drink.
of 61 votes, 21% like it
|
Better a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy.
of 58 votes, 12% like it
|
Make Zen, Not Zen.
of 58 votes, 7% like it
|
|
Gummy Bears - A Delicious Massacre
of 59 votes, 24% like it
|
Theoretically speaking, could we appeal Nuremberg?
of 58 votes, 3% like it
|
Live every day like it was your last: sobbing hysterically.
of 60 votes, 18% like it
|
|
The parents of the meek forged one heck of a will!
of 59 votes, 7% like it
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For every dentist, toothpaste companies have four people who LIE.
of 59 votes, 12% like it
|
What has two legs and bleeds? Half a Puppy.
of 59 votes, 3% like it
|
|
I threw a boomerang once. The suspense has been killing me.
of 59 votes, 19% like it
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Attn Pedophiles: My child is an honors student at Lincoln High.
of 59 votes, 8% like it
|
Santa Claus: Giving Rich Kids Better Presents Since 1913
of 62 votes, 26% like it
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|
Humor is about words that sound dirty? Poppycock!
of 59 votes, 17% like it
|
Poll the audience, 50-50, or call a friend browsing wikipedia?
of 59 votes, 17% like it
|
I like my women the way I like my coffee: MALE
of 59 votes, 12% like it
|
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Lets go to the container store and put things in other things!
of 58 votes, 19% like it
|
Vegetarian Zombies demand "GRAINS! GRAAAAAINS!"
of 60 votes, 33% like it
|
I can read you like a book. You can read me like a shirt.
of 58 votes, 10% like it
|
|
I wanted a cardiac transplant, but I had a change of heart.
of 58 votes, 17% like it
|
I have no idea how fast I am going, but I know exactly where I am
of 59 votes, 14% like it
|
Dyslexic Agnostic Insomniacs stay up wondering if there is a Dog.
of 61 votes, 26% like it
|
|
My shirt. /\/\Y Sh1Rt Øñ ÐRüG5.
of 59 votes, 14% like it
|
"H": The real middle of nowhere
of 59 votes, 22% like it
|
There's no I in TEAM, but no U either. Who is on this team?!
of 59 votes, 27% like it
|
|
Jericho - Music. Hiroshima - Physics. New Orleans - Politics.
of 60 votes, 22% like it
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You think therefore you am. Me not so lucky.
of 58 votes, 17% like it
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It's not paranoia if they really are after me!
of 59 votes, 25% like it
|
|
Love Hurts. The really good stuff leaves marks.
of 60 votes, 18% like it
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My half of the graduating class made the top half possible
of 60 votes, 22% like it
|
War is good for the economy like cannibalism is nutritious.
of 62 votes, 31% like it
|
|
Shoemakers will heel you, save your sole, or even dye for you!
of 59 votes, 17% like it
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Why does anyone who fixes shoes also know how to make keys?
of 57 votes, 19% like it
|
CAUTION this is a WARNING. Increased chance of mild anxiety.
of 59 votes, 12% like it
|
|
Walk a mile in someone else's shoes. Because hey, free shoes.
of 64 votes, 38% like it
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Ninjas killed my family -- Need money for Kung-Fu lessons
of 63 votes, 29% like it
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Bukkake... it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye.
of 62 votes, 26% like it
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|
BEEF... why space aliens steal our cows.
of 60 votes, 20% like it
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LICNPL8
of 58 votes, 7% like it
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REJECT CHRIST RECIEVE BACON
of 57 votes, 9% like it
|
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For every animal you don't eat, I am going to eat three.
of 58 votes, 22% like it
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"We need to kill a hostage. But who?" "Whom."
of 57 votes, 18% like it
|
Entropy - Messing up everything you do since 14 billion B.C.E
of 59 votes, 27% like it
|
|
QU!T 5T3AL!N6 O . R LETT3R$
of 57 votes, 9% like it
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What if the Hokey-Pokey really was what its all about?
of 56 votes, 30% like it
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We still haven't found a use for 'comic sans'
of 58 votes, 19% like it
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Someone bought me this because they noticed I wear shirts.
of 58 votes, 28% like it
|
He who laughs last has a lot of dead friends.
of 58 votes, 26% like it
|
This was my one opportunity to be completely original
of 57 votes, 21% like it
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|
I don't want immortality through my work, I want it by not dying
of 56 votes, 14% like it
|
If your parents are divorced and you know it clap your hands
of 56 votes, 9% like it
|
On the other hand you... have different fingers.
of 56 votes, 13% like it
|
|
Fear of foreigners: Xéñøphòbïa
of 57 votes, 14% like it
|
(At bottom of shirt) I've had it up to _here_ with midgets!
of 57 votes, 12% like it
|
I lost my attention, can I borrow yours? Thanks, that was all.
of 56 votes, 14% like it
|
|
Megan's Law requires that I wear this shirt.
of 57 votes, 7% like it
|
Ok fine, you write a story in six words or less.
of 57 votes, 11% like it
|
Action Movie: "Hi, let's get out of here."
of 58 votes, 10% like it
|
|
Romantic Comedy: "Longed for him. Got him. Sh*t"
of 57 votes, 5% like it
|
Sci-Fi: "Machine. Cool, I invented a Time"
of 56 votes, 7% like it
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If you remember me, remember me wearing a nicer shirt.
of 56 votes, 14% like it
|
|
A pictograph is worth CMXCIX words, give or take
of 56 votes, 11% like it
|
OXYPHENBUTAZONE is 1778 points in scrabble, whoop-de-freaking-doo
of 59 votes, 10% like it
|
USA - 40 000 000 illegal immigrants can't be wrong
of 57 votes, 19% like it
|
|
eu'phe·mis'tic -- adj., e.g. "I'd verb her noun"
of 59 votes, 22% like it
|
I'm a workaholic. Just can't get enough of that workahol.
of 60 votes, 23% like it
|
Alcoholism: The only disease you get shouted at for having.
of 58 votes, 17% like it
|
|
I know a great knock knock joke. You start. (Think it through)
of 57 votes, 9% like it
|
This shirt entitles the wearer to ONE FREE INTERNET
of 58 votes, 12% like it
|
Save a Virgin! Do me instead.
of 59 votes, 14% like it
|
|
There are things on the internet your kids would best not see
of 59 votes, 10% like it
|
No means eat me out first
of 59 votes, 17% like it
|
I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up.
of 57 votes, 16% like it
|
|
I love kids, I just don't think I could eat a whole one
of 56 votes, 27% like it
|
A nickel isn't worth a dime today.
of 56 votes, 18% like it
|
The face of a child says a lot. Mainly the mouth part of the face
of 58 votes, 24% like it
|
|
War actually IS the answer -- seen any Nazis lately?
of 57 votes, 16% like it
|
Whoever came up with this shirt probably got one free. The Jerk.
of 58 votes, 14% like it
|
I would've been here sooner but I needed to find my shirt
of 57 votes, 14% like it
|
|
You aren't an UTTER failure -- you motivate the rest of us!
of 56 votes, 13% like it
|
100% Chance of Weather -- Dress Accordingly
of 60 votes, 28% like it
|
No Slogan -- Just a Shirt
of 57 votes, 14% like it
|
|
I'm Autastic!
of 56 votes, 11% like it
|
AUTISTIC KIDS ROCK!
of 57 votes, 11% like it
|
...as a kite
of 57 votes, 12% like it
|
|
I wish I could play little league. I'd be way better than before.
of 56 votes, 27% like it
|
If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.
of 58 votes, 16% like it
|
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... It's dirty.
of 57 votes, 12% like it
|
|
I used to do drugs, I still do, but I used to, too.
of 59 votes, 20% like it
|
I'm nerdy where it counts
of 56 votes, 18% like it
|
All I want is peace in the Middle East and a pony
of 60 votes, 33% like it
|
|
Drinking has a ME problem
of 59 votes, 20% like it
|
I haven't slept for 10 days... because that would be too long.
of 59 votes, 24% like it
|
Sometimes I wear this shirt... then I wonder why.
of 58 votes, 21% like it
|
|
Commas, see, add, like, nada, okay?
of 61 votes, 8% like it
|
Longed for him. Got him. Shit
of 58 votes, 16% like it
|
I recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats
of 63 votes, 35% like it
|
|
f u cn rd ths, u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgrmmng.
of 62 votes, 19% like it
|
In the immortal words of Socrates, "I drank what?!"
of 61 votes, 23% like it
|
Remember me as I was -- a Trekkie
of 56 votes, 13% like it
|
|
We need more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.
of 61 votes, 28% like it
|
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