A guy walks into a bar. Ouch
of 46 votes, 7% like it
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Am I missing something obvious?
of 45 votes, 9% like it
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America: More buffets per square mile than people
of 46 votes, 15% like it
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And he was like, RAWR!
of 41 votes, 10% like it
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As we speak, ninjas are meeting to plot my demise
of 61 votes, 16% like it
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Band: We know drama
of 46 votes, 9% like it
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Based on my detailed analysis, I've come to a conclusion-you suck
of 27 votes, 11% like it
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Bask in my glory
of 52 votes, 17% like it
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Be poor. It's cheaper
of 58 votes, 19% like it
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Bigger and better fractions down in Room 116
of 41 votes, 7% like it
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Boys have cooties, kick their booties
of 42 votes, 17% like it
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Buffet? I'll bring the defibrillator!
of 47 votes, 11% like it
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Buy a ladder and get over yourself
of 53 votes, 19% like it
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By reading this shirt, you wasted 5 seconds of your life
of 63 votes, 13% like it
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C is for Chuck Norris. As is every other letter in the alphabet
of 46 votes, 11% like it
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Call me by my gangster name: Funky Fresh
of 45 votes, 11% like it
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Call me fat now, but wait until I survive the second Ice Age
of 53 votes, 21% like it
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Can't we discuss this over cookies and milk?
of 60 votes, 22% like it
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Can't you just hear the dramatic music?
of 59 votes, 17% like it
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Candy? You bet.
of 25 votes, 8% like it
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Clever is getting out alive
of 61 votes, 18% like it
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Cookies and Milk are so 1993. Give Santa Beer
of 50 votes, 14% like it
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Cue maniacal laughter
of 59 votes, 15% like it
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Damn childproof locks...
of 61 votes, 16% like it
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Did you ever notice most Disney characters are obscene?
of 12 votes, 8% like it
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Did you wash your face with ugly soap?
of 61 votes, 16% like it
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Ding Dong, the psycho's gone
of 5 votes, 0% like it
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Dinomight!
of 17 votes, 6% like it
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Do they have turtle maternity shells?
of 22 votes, 9% like it
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Don't Get Mad, Get Pirate.
of 51 votes, 20% like it
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Don't hit a pig with a stick, it doesn't accomplish anything
of 7 votes, 0% like it
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Don't leave your pirate at home.
of 48 votes, 15% like it
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Don't steal, the government doesn't like competition
of 12 votes, 8% like it
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Drugs can create beautiful things
of 10 votes, 10% like it
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Edgar Allen Poe- The original emo poet
of 43 votes, 28% like it
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Edgar Allen Poe; original emo.
of 46 votes, 17% like it
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Elvis is coming and he's bringing chips
of 61 votes, 15% like it
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Essay: Explain something that could have been said in 2 sentences
of 60 votes, 18% like it
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Even my issues have issues
of 25 votes, 4% like it
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Everyone understands but you
of 47 votes, 13% like it
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Everyone's mom loves Kenny G
of 11 votes, 9% like it
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Everytime you show your face, God kills a kitten
of 46 votes, 11% like it
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Excuse me while I go glue my head to my desk
of 26 votes, 12% like it
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Excuse me, have you seen the gnomes running around with my pants?
of 40 votes, 10% like it
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February 14th = Singles Awareness Day
of 59 votes, 22% like it
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For the love of God, put your pants back on
of 3 votes, 0% like it
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Forget relationships. I've got music.
of 46 votes, 13% like it
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Forget relationships. Where's my iPod?
of 46 votes, 15% like it
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Freshmen, guard your kidneys.
of 46 votes, 11% like it
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Gamer for hire
of 32 votes, 9% like it
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Get your daily dose of music
of 58 votes, 10% like it
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Go away, you fail at life
of 47 votes, 4% like it
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god may plan my life but I take wrong turns to see if he gets mad
of 62 votes, 13% like it
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Golden toasters are the new status symbols
of 40 votes, 13% like it
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Good tries don't count for anything in the real world
of 61 votes, 15% like it
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Google watches your every move
of 55 votes, 20% like it
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Google-ing fat people: a never fail way to raise your self esteem
of 60 votes, 18% like it
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Got Osteoporosis?
of 47 votes, 11% like it
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Guns don't kill people; people with mullets kill people
of 57 votes, 16% like it
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He could have birds in his afro - I swear!
of 2 votes, 0% like it
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Heavily medicated for your protection.
of 53 votes, 17% like it
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Hello, my name is Your Mom
of 3 votes, 0% like it
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Here's the number of a plastic surgeon. Use it
of 42 votes, 2% like it
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Hi, I don't care, thanks.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
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Hormones suck.
of 48 votes, 10% like it
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How to have fun- throw a dollar into a crowded room
of 26 votes, 8% like it
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Human organ blackmarket- why God gave you two kidneys
of 61 votes, 21% like it
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I am hiding under your bed
of 43 votes, 16% like it
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I am the future of America. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
of 41 votes, 10% like it
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I beg of you, shoot me if I wear holiday jewelry when I get old
of 4 votes, 25% like it
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I can't beat you up, but I can snap in a Z formation!
of 46 votes, 13% like it
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I choose to blame Pac-Man for America's obesity
of 43 votes, 16% like it
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I dare you to actually say something intelligent
of 13 votes, 8% like it
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I don't sing in the shower, I dance
of 58 votes, 17% like it
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I hate you. Die.
of 30 votes, 7% like it
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I know kung-fu, and 34 other dangerous words
of 48 votes, 13% like it
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I know someone, who knows someone, who knows an honor student
of 47 votes, 15% like it
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I love chicken thigh pie
of 35 votes, 0% like it
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I love UFO encounters
of 41 votes, 7% like it
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I love you. And frankly, that's exciting.
of 49 votes, 16% like it
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I love you. Have an acorn
of 61 votes, 21% like it
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I may fail at life, but I'm wicked cool
of 46 votes, 9% like it
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I play air guitar for an air band
of 61 votes, 18% like it
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I prefer chocolate for my substance abuse
of 61 votes, 16% like it
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I think I just lost a brain cell by talking to you
of 46 votes, 13% like it
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I think, therefore I watch T.V.
of 9 votes, 0% like it
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I want it deepfried, supersized and covered in cheese
of 42 votes, 10% like it
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I was wearing my heart on my sleeve till it started raining
of 46 votes, 13% like it
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I wish I smelled like Christmas
of 59 votes, 15% like it
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I'd bite that for a dollar
of 29 votes, 10% like it
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I'm a sexy gnome
of 11 votes, 0% like it
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I'm cool. (P.S.- You're not)
of 6 votes, 0% like it
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I'm guessing I'm not in Antarctica anymore
of 52 votes, 19% like it
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I'm not fluent in idiot, so speak slowly and clearly please
of 29 votes, 10% like it
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I'm not paying for this tragedy
of 52 votes, 13% like it
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I'm not short, I'm just unusually not tall
of 46 votes, 20% like it
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I'm out like the fat kid in dodgeball
of 59 votes, 14% like it
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I'm so cool I actually wear my sunglasses during the day
of 12 votes, 0% like it
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I'm so smart! S-M-R-T!
of 11 votes, 9% like it
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I'm sorry, am I too awesome for you?
of 61 votes, 21% like it
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I'm very important to your pathetic existence
of 47 votes, 13% like it
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If a turtle loses his shell, is he naked or homeless?
of 60 votes, 22% like it
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If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you
of 51 votes, 22% like it
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If life passes me by, I'll just catch it at the next stop
of 63 votes, 14% like it
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If my music's too loud- you're too old
of 46 votes, 13% like it
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If the camera adds ten pounds, how many cameras are on you?
of 40 votes, 10% like it
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If you can read this you're violating your probation
of 46 votes, 7% like it
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In the end of it all, I still decided to love
of 46 votes, 17% like it
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Is retro cool for cell phones yet?
of 45 votes, 24% like it
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It always rains hardest on the people who deserve the sun
of 6 votes, 0% like it
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It's all wrong as hail
of 5 votes, 0% like it
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It's time to change America. Let's start with you
of 60 votes, 15% like it
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Jesus loves me, but thinks you're an idiot
of 64 votes, 11% like it
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Just gotta have Elvis.
of 40 votes, 8% like it
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Just who is the muffin man anyway?
of 32 votes, 19% like it
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Lampophilia - Sexual attraction to lamps
of 18 votes, 11% like it
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Let's all swing with the giraffes
of 47 votes, 15% like it
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Liable to break something
of 53 votes, 17% like it
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Life goes on (But will leave you in the dust)
of 32 votes, 9% like it
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Life is more painless for the brainless
of 62 votes, 16% like it
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Life is pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something
of 53 votes, 11% like it
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Logic has left the building
of 60 votes, 13% like it
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Looking for the place where happiness is mundane
of 37 votes, 8% like it
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Looking for the place where happiness is tragedy
of 40 votes, 8% like it
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Loserville is that way. Go on now, shoo.
of 11 votes, 18% like it
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Love the skin you're in, unless you can afford surgery
of 42 votes, 10% like it
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Me and my ninja beat you and your pirate
of 61 votes, 15% like it
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Mess with me, you mess with the whole trailer park
of 46 votes, 13% like it
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Moo. I'm a pig.
of 46 votes, 17% like it
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More candy, less war
of 42 votes, 12% like it
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Music > You
of 47 votes, 11% like it
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My 80's mobile phone can be used for self defence
of 3 votes, 33% like it
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My 80's mobile phone can beat you up
of 51 votes, 12% like it
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My Lemonade Brings all the Moms to the Yard
of 62 votes, 15% like it
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My Lemonade Stand Brings All the Moms to the Yard
of 59 votes, 22% like it
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My shirt doesn't have to make sense
of 36 votes, 11% like it
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My socks are more punk than your entire wardrobe
of 62 votes, 16% like it
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naptime for all time
of 60 votes, 12% like it
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Never trust sheep
of 5 votes, 0% like it
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No, MY mom!
of 61 votes, 11% like it
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Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?
of 25 votes, 8% like it
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Of course we come from monkeys. Just look at yourself
of 60 votes, 13% like it
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Oh so retro
of 31 votes, 10% like it
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Oh yeah? Well, I don't like your pants
of 59 votes, 17% like it
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Oh yeah? Well, just wait until I poke you on Facebook!
of 46 votes, 13% like it
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Oh, the horror
of 47 votes, 15% like it
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Only a Fool Resurrects Genghis Khan
of 46 votes, 11% like it
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Osama Bin Laden lives in my basement
of 59 votes, 17% like it
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Oy is the funniest word in the whole world
of 41 votes, 12% like it
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Perfect ending to Harry Potter: The giant squid comsumes Britain
of 60 votes, 12% like it
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Pirate or ninja, pirate or ninja. The astronaut feels left out
of 64 votes, 14% like it
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Pirates have endless ideas
of 47 votes, 15% like it
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Plastic- because wood's not good enough for us
of 65 votes, 15% like it
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Please donate to the......um......me
of 41 votes, 12% like it
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Politically incorrect and proud of it
of 58 votes, 19% like it
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Porcupines could make millions in the acupuncture business
of 65 votes, 22% like it
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Press your hands against mine and swear like it's the Bible
of 24 votes, 4% like it
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Procrastinators unite....tomorrow
of 64 votes, 25% like it
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Question of the ages: Just who IS the Muffin Man?
of 50 votes, 12% like it
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Real men love unicorns
of 60 votes, 15% like it
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Regret nothing, deny everything
of 14 votes, 14% like it
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Remember kids, it's not illegal if you're Canadian
of 58 votes, 17% like it
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Remember, I know where you live
of 13 votes, 8% like it
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Resurrecting Genghis Khan would not be a good idea.
of 4 votes, 0% like it
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Retro strikes back
of 24 votes, 4% like it
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Run for the fun
of 25 votes, 8% like it
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Santa, I can explain
of 51 votes, 24% like it
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Save the whales, collect a whole set
of 46 votes, 15% like it
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Slide rulers are oh so retro
of 11 votes, 9% like it
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Socks; you know you want them
of 46 votes, 20% like it
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Some call it stalking, I call it love
of 59 votes, 19% like it
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Some multi-task, I multi-slack
of 47 votes, 11% like it
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Son of a batch of cookies!
of 59 votes, 15% like it
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Sorry kids, Santa's doing 8-12 years for breaking and entering
of 41 votes, 12% like it
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Stop the world. I want to get off
of 58 votes, 10% like it
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Sure, I'm a wizard! My Hogwarts letter just got a bit....delayed
of 47 votes, 15% like it
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T-Rex just meant to give you a hug
of 63 votes, 19% like it
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Take a picture. I need a stalker
of 59 votes, 15% like it
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That's pretty illegal, even for us
of 60 votes, 17% like it
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The age of the cowboys will be back
of 23 votes, 9% like it
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The eagle may soar, but the weasel doesn't get sucked into planes
of 63 votes, 29% like it
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The Huns are coming! The Huns are...never mind
of 7 votes, 0% like it
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The joy of squirrel.
of 40 votes, 15% like it
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The Sock Pirate Strikes Again
of 47 votes, 11% like it
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The spirit of the ninjas lives on inside of me
of 57 votes, 12% like it
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The spork is mightier than the sword
of 53 votes, 23% like it
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The worst thing a doctor can say is “whoops”
of 55 votes, 15% like it
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There once was a man from Nantucket, who moved to Georgia
of 47 votes, 19% like it
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There's More Than One Way To Eat Toast
of 50 votes, 14% like it
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There's more to Spanish than the menu at Taco Bell
of 47 votes, 15% like it
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They say the best is yet to come. I'm waiting
of 20 votes, 10% like it
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This means war...or disco!
of 47 votes, 17% like it
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This represents my serious face.
of 60 votes, 12% like it
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Thunder thighs!
of 37 votes, 11% like it
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Tranquility at the Disco
of 47 votes, 19% like it
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Turtles have a top speed of 87 mph. They just don’t show us
of 15 votes, 7% like it
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TV is the side dish to reality
of 44 votes, 11% like it
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Two status symbols are better than one.
of 40 votes, 13% like it
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Uh...no?
of 27 votes, 11% like it
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Very funny. Now beam me back my clothes Scottie
of 27 votes, 7% like it
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Wanted: Longer Weekends
of 59 votes, 25% like it
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We live in perverted times, my friend
of 50 votes, 14% like it
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What's that? You want my autograph? Picture? All right, I suppose
of 42 votes, 7% like it
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When I'm famous, I'll remember to snub you publicly
of 63 votes, 17% like it
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When you eat a salad, the vegetables scream
of 64 votes, 27% like it
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When you meet Batman in a dark alley, the truth will come out
of 47 votes, 15% like it
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Where did you get that shirt? From the hobo you mugged?
of 40 votes, 13% like it
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While you read this shirt, I'm stealing your wallet
of 37 votes, 5% like it
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While you read this shirt, I'm stealing your's
of 49 votes, 12% like it
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Who me? I just wander from room to room
of 59 votes, 15% like it
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Who, me? I just wander from room to room.
of 44 votes, 14% like it
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Why don't you just slap yourself now to save me the trouble
of 51 votes, 14% like it
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Why ninjas and pirates? What about the astronauts?
of 45 votes, 24% like it
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Without men, there would be no words such as "wedgie"
of 29 votes, 7% like it
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Work? Don't make me laugh
of 11 votes, 9% like it
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World's worst t-shirt
of 5 votes, 0% like it
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X is so sterotypical to xylophones
of 59 votes, 15% like it
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Yesterday was the day. Today you’re out of luck
of 36 votes, 8% like it
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You don’t need say anything, I can see the jealousy in your eyes
of 31 votes, 10% like it
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You have won the Mexican lottery of one cent
of 25 votes, 0% like it
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You may be drunk on power, but I'm just plain drunk
of 60 votes, 17% like it
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You're like a pop up book from Hell
of 42 votes, 14% like it
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You've got to read this one shirt, it'll change your life I swear
of 43 votes, 12% like it
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Your bling may cause you to drown in flash floods
of 44 votes, 11% like it
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Your cookie is in the mail
of 17 votes, 12% like it
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Your cookie's in the mail
of 28 votes, 7% like it
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Your mom made this shirt
of 31 votes, 10% like it
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You’re unique like everyone else in the world
of 47 votes, 13% like it
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