Try a little humility... I know I do.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
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I <blank> Organ Donation
of 18 votes, 6% like it
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Wanna lose 15 pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
of 20 votes, 5% like it
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Recognizing Comas: It's a No-Brainer!
of 19 votes, 11% like it
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Clouds should be different colors.
of 55 votes, 18% like it
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I love Bill Nye.
of 54 votes, 30% like it
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Don't clap between movements, idiot!
of 57 votes, 28% like it
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I dip my fries in my frostie!
of 54 votes, 22% like it
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I lied, that makes you look fat.
of 54 votes, 13% like it
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Pirates: Ninjas of the sea
of 56 votes, 20% like it
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Juice is better from a box.
of 52 votes, 17% like it
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Pterodactyls are pterrific!
of 57 votes, 18% like it
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You just wasted three seconds.
of 58 votes, 21% like it
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On the other hand, you have other fingers.
of 60 votes, 27% like it
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I'm a compulsive liar. Just kidding.
of 66 votes, 26% like it
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I'm a compulsive liar. Just kidding, I lied.
of 66 votes, 27% like it
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Fresh breath is a priority in my life.
of 64 votes, 16% like it
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For every animal you don't eat, I'm going to eat five.
of 63 votes, 32% like it
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Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?
of 60 votes, 17% like it
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Scooter? This is a Vespa!
of 60 votes, 22% like it
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Sliced bread isn't all that great....
of 63 votes, 30% like it
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Who thought to pull on cow udders and drink whatever came out?
of 60 votes, 33% like it
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I hid in the clothing racks while my parents were shopping.
of 69 votes, 26% like it
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Political correctness is gay.
of 70 votes, 30% like it
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I'm going to go live in solitude... want to come?
of 70 votes, 21% like it
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Since when did individualism become a group effort?
of 71 votes, 28% like it
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If I were your derivative, I could lie tangent to your curves.
of 69 votes, 26% like it
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Support the arts. Date a musician.
of 69 votes, 35% like it
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Modest is hottest.
of 70 votes, 26% like it
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My very educated mother just served us... noodles?
of 69 votes, 25% like it
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Girl jeans are for girls.
of 70 votes, 26% like it
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I'd rather be at Hogwarts...
of 69 votes, 39% like it
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Aren't animal crackers cookies?
of 69 votes, 30% like it
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I don't care how comfortable Crocs are, you look stupid.
of 69 votes, 32% like it
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It's "caramel" not "carmel."
of 70 votes, 29% like it
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National Sarcasm Society: "Like we need your help."
of 69 votes, 35% like it
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If graduating from college were easy, we would call it your mom.
of 69 votes, 26% like it
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Life would be more interesting if it were a musical.
of 70 votes, 39% like it
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Ramen: How do I love thee?
of 69 votes, 25% like it
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Sporks are superior eating utensils.
of 69 votes, 22% like it
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Chopsticks are superior eating utensils.
of 70 votes, 27% like it
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Friends don't let friends say what friends can't do to friends.
of 70 votes, 19% like it
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Friends don't let friends say what friends won't let friends do.
of 69 votes, 26% like it
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I'll go out of my way to step on a leaf that looks crunchy.
of 68 votes, 34% like it
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I judge you when you use poor grammar.
of 67 votes, 30% like it
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Reduced fat = Reduced fun!
of 68 votes, 24% like it
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