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nintechno
nintechno aka Nathaniel Huntzinger is a 27.25 year old boy, has been a member since October 11, 2006, has scored 5,980 submissions, giving an average score of 2.24, helping 194 designs get printed.
Beards are like blankets for your face.
of 49 votes, 47% like it
I'm greater than less than.
of 52 votes, 25% like it
Don't take life too seriously. Life just wants attention.
of 51 votes, 33% like it
I fight sleep with insomnia.
of 48 votes, 31% like it
I don't like to run, except when I'm being chased.
of 46 votes, 26% like it
Mushrooms think I'm a fungi.
of 42 votes, 14% like it
Astronauts look down on the world.
of 75 votes, 32% like it
Rome wasn't built in a day, but Lego Rome was built in two.
of 51 votes, 37% like it
I tell short stories. The End.
of 63 votes, 41% like it
I played The Game of Life and died.
of 44 votes, 23% like it
I protect food with my stomach.
of 41 votes, 27% like it
I give astronauts their space.
of 49 votes, 39% like it
I ask my wisdom teeth for advice.
of 45 votes, 33% like it
On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you weigh?
of 18 votes, 22% like it
I'm a stormtrooper. I like to go outside when it rains.
of 50 votes, 22% like it
I love weather.
of 42 votes, 12% like it
Trees root for me.
of 56 votes, 32% like it
I don't trash talk, I recycle talk.
of 64 votes, 34% like it
Oranges can't rhyme, but they can concentrate.
of 47 votes, 49% like it
My thumbs gave me two thumbs up.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
If your name is Bread, you're toast.
of 51 votes, 39% like it
It's hard to be original, especially if you're a clone.
of 54 votes, 37% like it
Beethoven is a dog and a composer.
of 39 votes, 23% like it
My goal in life is to count to infinity or die trying.
of 35 votes, 23% like it
What do genies wish for?
of 55 votes, 24% like it
I found my calling in a phone booth.
of 57 votes, 30% like it
In the future, I'll be old.
of 59 votes, 41% like it
I don't talk to myself, I talk to my clone.
of 44 votes, 27% like it
My bed and I are sleeping together.
of 69 votes, 46% like it
Today in History: Something in the past happened.
of 56 votes, 34% like it
Mimes give me the silent treatment.
of 51 votes, 41% like it
Bare Feet: They're not just for bears anymore.
of 40 votes, 23% like it
The weather is taking the world by storm.
of 47 votes, 26% like it
I am Fe Man.
of 28 votes, 11% like it
Today in History: You read my shirt.
of 58 votes, 26% like it
Sleeping is the easiest way to time travel.
of 49 votes, 53% like it
lol stands for leg of lamb.
of 57 votes, 14% like it
I'm so hungary I could eat turkey.
of 67 votes, 24% like it
Small dogs are like barking cats.
of 41 votes, 27% like it
I lost a bet and now I can't find it.
of 66 votes, 18% like it
Google is searching for me.
of 71 votes, 38% like it
Counting. It's as easy as 1, 3, 7.
of 60 votes, 33% like it
When I get in bed, I go undercover.
of 49 votes, 27% like it
You know what's striking? Lightning.
of 41 votes, 20% like it
You know what shocks me? Electricity.
of 59 votes, 36% like it
Music is for treblemakers.
of 70 votes, 31% like it
Do black holes think they suck?
of 66 votes, 41% like it
My goal in life is to count to infinity or die trying.
of 49 votes, 31% like it
My camera won the Oscar for Best Picture.
of 52 votes, 21% like it
Doug is Funnie.
of 63 votes, 5% like it
Fires are addicted to smoking.
of 57 votes, 7% like it
In the time of chimpanzees, I was a Beck song.
of 68 votes, 13% like it
Oceans wave at me.
of 52 votes, 40% like it
I like pi. It tastes like 3.14.
of 53 votes, 15% like it
When I listen to music, I get hungry like the wolf.
of 64 votes, 16% like it
For some reason, the FBI wants me.
of 45 votes, 18% like it
Cloning helped me find myself.
of 70 votes, 44% like it
I read too much into things. Like books.
of 61 votes, 25% like it
Save the world. My name is World.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
I take showers in the rain.
of 62 votes, 21% like it
On the Road, I met Jack Kerouac.
of 39 votes, 15% like it
I'm a balloon, but I'm not up for it.
of 41 votes, 15% like it
I like ranch, but I'm not a rancher.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
Clones are not original.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
Know your roots, especially if you're a tree.
of 64 votes, 33% like it
Archaeology left me in ruins.
of 72 votes, 39% like it
A piano found my keys.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
I exercise by running out of ideas.
of 68 votes, 40% like it
Dear Gravity, I think I'm falling for you.
of 80 votes, 44% like it
Time travel really brings me back.
of 58 votes, 40% like it
Hot dogs bark.
of 56 votes, 9% like it
The wind blows my mind.
of 66 votes, 17% like it
At least the FBI wants me.
of 37 votes, 27% like it
Ears are good listeners.
of 51 votes, 27% like it
I wear asteroid belts.
of 39 votes, 26% like it
Synapses get on my nerves.
of 37 votes, 51% like it
My genes don't fit.
of 34 votes, 53% like it
I eat ice cream on Sundae.
of 27 votes, 41% like it
Email knows where it's @
of 28 votes, 57% like it
Sushi got the raw end of the deal.
of 49 votes, 55% like it
If you're drawing a blank, use a pencil.
of 37 votes, 51% like it
Bowling pins are on strike.
of 35 votes, 40% like it
Dracula likes to count.
of 40 votes, 43% like it
Pi tastes like 3.14
of 43 votes, 44% like it
Trees have no where to go but up.
of 51 votes, 45% like it
Martians often feel alienated.
of 43 votes, 37% like it
Geology knows how to rock.
of 45 votes, 51% like it
If the end draws near, draw something else.
of 40 votes, 53% like it
Board Games: The Number One Cause of Monopolies.
of 39 votes, 41% like it
And on the 7th day, God folded laundry.
of 49 votes, 41% like it
The metric system goes the extra kilometer.
of 36 votes, 44% like it
Don't waste time, recycle it.
of 36 votes, 64% like it
I replaced college with Wikipedia.
of 33 votes, 48% like it
Hamlet's do this.
of 32 votes, 22% like it
Big Brother is watching you read 1984.
of 42 votes, 43% like it
Fractions see the glass as 1/2 full.
of 47 votes, 43% like it
You can always count on numbers.
of 37 votes, 57% like it
I have one degree in Fahrenheit and the other in Celsius.
of 36 votes, 56% like it
The rulers I know are a foot tall.
of 31 votes, 48% like it
Sheep count humans at night.
of 37 votes, 46% like it
A tree stumped me.
of 39 votes, 49% like it
Antarctica: Where Cool Stuff Happens.
of 41 votes, 66% like it
I wish classical music would make a comebach.
of 47 votes, 55% like it
I have never made a misteak.
of 42 votes, 52% like it
Geometry helps me stay in shape.
of 42 votes, 43% like it
Oversleeping keeps the dream alive.
of 39 votes, 59% like it
If you think you can, you're aluminum.
of 41 votes, 56% like it
Frankly my dear, I like movie quotes.
of 43 votes, 58% like it
Dictionaries fill my life with meaning.
of 49 votes, 55% like it
A fortune cookie predicted we would meet here.
of 49 votes, 51% like it
Chess pieces sleep at knight.
of 49 votes, 43% like it
If the walls talked, I would be fluent in wall.
of 42 votes, 40% like it
Nature was born to be wild.
of 49 votes, 39% like it
I'm a fan, but not an oscillating one.
of 43 votes, 47% like it
Fingers make a point.
of 42 votes, 40% like it
I avoid diseases like the plague.
of 47 votes, 64% like it
Whales listen to Moby.
of 42 votes, 33% like it
I have been reincarnated as a slogan.
of 41 votes, 29% like it
True or False: This is a test question.
of 39 votes, 44% like it
Pangaea was split up for being a monopoly.
of 47 votes, 38% like it
Alfred Hitchcock gave me vertigo.
of 35 votes, 34% like it
Libraries do it by the book.
of 39 votes, 49% like it
I invest in Bonds, James Bonds.
of 39 votes, 49% like it
I get heroic in phone booths.
of 46 votes, 48% like it
My invisibility cloak is not working.
of 43 votes, 53% like it
Antonyms are celebrating opposite day.
of 36 votes, 44% like it
My train of thought is running on schedule.
of 43 votes, 42% like it
My alphabet soup tells me things.
of 48 votes, 58% like it
Music is nothing but treble.
of 46 votes, 50% like it
Dr. Frankenstein is a bodybuilder.
of 47 votes, 57% like it
Time travelers are ahead of their time.
of 46 votes, 57% like it
"No comet," said the flying space rock.
of 40 votes, 50% like it
Mathematicians know their limits.
of 41 votes, 54% like it
Artists win, lose, or draw.
of 35 votes, 51% like it
Evolution still hasn't given me mutant powers.
of 37 votes, 51% like it
In a plerfect world, I would spell things correctly.
of 38 votes, 50% like it
Sinatra is too frank.
of 41 votes, 41% like it
I'm in the middle of an inspirational montage sequence.
of 38 votes, 42% like it
With great brainpower, comes great eccentricity.
of 55 votes, 51% like it
Puzzles all want a piece of me.
of 47 votes, 51% like it
I've been moonlighting as a werewolf.
of 48 votes, 44% like it
I opened Pandora's Box and recycled it.
of 52 votes, 40% like it
Insomnia helps me stay up at night.
of 48 votes, 54% like it
"Cheerio," said my cereal.
of 42 votes, 45% like it
Negative people need a proton injection.
of 48 votes, 56% like it
Zombies speak a dead language.
of 44 votes, 57% like it
When hell freezes over, I'm making snow angels.
of 55 votes, 51% like it
I fight flies with chopsticks.
of 55 votes, 42% like it
If you like answering questions, raise your hand.
of 52 votes, 46% like it
I cloned myself to hug more people.
of 46 votes, 43% like it
After years of searching, Waldo found himself.
of 55 votes, 60% like it
Organic: Another word for expensive.
of 45 votes, 53% like it
It's hard to stay positive when there's so many electrons.
of 50 votes, 66% like it
If you're feeling blue, you might be a Smurf.
of 56 votes, 61% like it
Simon says listen to Garfunkel.
of 58 votes, 41% like it
Change is good, but I don't like pennies.
of 63 votes, 51% like it
Balloons are living it up.
of 72 votes, 46% like it
Pediatricians treat everyone like children.
of 53 votes, 64% like it
Scales are always getting in the weigh.
of 51 votes, 59% like it
Imagination is a good way to make things up.
of 53 votes, 58% like it
Frosting is usually the icing on the cake.
of 54 votes, 69% like it
"I don't believe in quotation marks."
of 51 votes, 41% like it
If you're feeling down, blame gravity.
of 47 votes, 49% like it
"Stop using telepathy," you thought.
of 44 votes, 57% like it
Play board games at your own Risk.
of 57 votes, 42% like it
I chronicled my trip to Narnia.
of 45 votes, 42% like it
Being immortal is getting really old.
of 61 votes, 56% like it
Elevators take me to the next level.
of 57 votes, 65% like it
If we draw straws, I'm using a pencil.
of 54 votes, 63% like it
Twitter keeps following me.
of 65 votes, 60% like it
Take it easy, but bring it back.
of 53 votes, 45% like it
Oceans wave at you.
of 55 votes, 56% like it
I was framed by a picture.
of 49 votes, 53% like it
When you need a date, grab a calendar.
of 53 votes, 53% like it
Falling asleep at the keyboard is like alsdkjfaldkjfd.
of 66 votes, 65% like it
Hugging trees is a contact sport.
of 35 votes, 34% like it
Grammar mistakes is stupid.
of 45 votes, 51% like it
If I join a movement, it will be symphonic.
of 43 votes, 47% like it
My gut reaction told me to eat it.
of 52 votes, 65% like it
I know a lot. I park my car there.
of 75 votes, 64% like it
Sleeping is how I time travel.
of 58 votes, 50% like it
Lincoln shoots and four scores!
of 57 votes, 47% like it
Lava lamps are domesticated volcanoes.
of 56 votes, 66% like it
I don't trust hurricanes. They have shifty eyes.
of 56 votes, 57% like it
Small dogs are like cats that bark.
of 32 votes, 53% like it
I bet you five dollars that I have a gambling addiction.
of 51 votes, 59% like it
Reading: What you're doing now.
of 51 votes, 53% like it
Bored? Do something dull and repetitive.
of 43 votes, 56% like it
I'm so hungry hungry I could eat a hippo.
of 53 votes, 62% like it
Triangle solos have three parts.
of 46 votes, 48% like it
The Mayans will release a new calendar in 2013.
of 59 votes, 56% like it
Nudists have trouble stripping.
of 55 votes, 53% like it
Interview vampires at your own risk.
of 48 votes, 48% like it
I watch the weather channel to relax.
of 34 votes, 44% like it
The galaxy is for hitchhikers.
of 47 votes, 38% like it
Cameras keep me focused.
of 59 votes, 66% like it
Zombies don't call shotgun.
of 46 votes, 59% like it
Swing sets allow people to fly short distances.
of 63 votes, 62% like it
Gogh Gogh gadget paintbrush.
of 67 votes, 64% like it
In the Future, mosquitoes will still suck.
of 78 votes, 65% like it
All of my peeps are marshmallows.
of 76 votes, 70% like it
Save the world with a memory card.
of 63 votes, 49% like it
Don't spread rumors, spread butter.
of 51 votes, 45% like it
Redundancy is dumb and stupid.
of 71 votes, 65% like it
You only live twice if you're James Bond.
of 50 votes, 48% like it
Fight the power, turn off your electricity.
of 78 votes, 63% like it
Keyboards help me Esc.
of 84 votes, 71% like it
I eat fortune cookies...in bed.
of 38 votes, 45% like it
My emperor is a penguin.
of 64 votes, 50% like it
Invisible people think I'm paranoid.
of 80 votes, 63% like it
Charles left me in charge.
of 62 votes, 50% like it
The late bird gets the other worm.
of 61 votes, 46% like it
Calculus derives me crazy.
of 79 votes, 62% like it
H.G. is not feeling Wells.
of 62 votes, 47% like it
I stole your thunder and sold it on ebay.
of 64 votes, 52% like it
My train of thought has passengers.
of 37 votes, 43% like it
Phobias are afraid of me.
of 75 votes, 64% like it
My political view has nice scenery.
of 70 votes, 50% like it
I lost my cape fighting crime [on back of shirt]
of 69 votes, 61% like it
My thoughts are cloudy with a chance of brainstorms.
of 71 votes, 61% like it
Curiosity killed my cat and I want revenge.
of 92 votes, 68% like it
My password is ******
of 79 votes, 48% like it
Math has serious problems.
of 71 votes, 69% like it
Cool things happen in Antarctica.
of 65 votes, 58% like it
I keep my vital organs in a rib cage.
of 46 votes, 43% like it
Model citizens carry glue guns.
of 76 votes, 51% like it
Immortality increased my lifespan.
of 62 votes, 53% like it
"Bonsai," said the tree.
of 57 votes, 44% like it
Bats can read my shirt [printed upside down]
of 70 votes, 50% like it
I don't fear change, I pocket it.
of 84 votes, 63% like it
There's something fishy about the ocean.
of 64 votes, 48% like it
My humor is too dark to see.
of 76 votes, 57% like it
I'm leaving dying to the last second.
of 66 votes, 56% like it
I'm allergic to food poisoning.
of 61 votes, 51% like it
Aliens need more space.
of 59 votes, 51% like it
Houston listens to all of my problems.
of 56 votes, 57% like it
Wisdom teeth fail at giving advice.
of 63 votes, 54% like it
I tell my problems to Houston.
of 70 votes, 61% like it
Joy can jump for herself.
of 71 votes, 58% like it
Due to shortages, life will no longer be handing out lemons.
of 66 votes, 65% like it
Opportunity knocked down my front door.
of 59 votes, 47% like it
I'll stop eating bacon when pigs fly.
of 67 votes, 54% like it
Instead of keeping the peace, give it away for free.
of 63 votes, 65% like it
The smart chicken flies a helicopter across the road.
of 54 votes, 52% like it
Fairy tales paint Grimm pictures.
of 61 votes, 54% like it
Tree branches are getting twiggy with it.
of 53 votes, 51% like it
I forgot my stroll down memory lane.
of 53 votes, 58% like it
I oppose the rule of thumb.
of 62 votes, 71% like it
Screenwriters are plotting against me.
of 56 votes, 55% like it
Tomorrow is like today, but in the future.
of 66 votes, 62% like it
Take a stand, but leave the lemonade for me.
of 57 votes, 60% like it
I plead the 5th symphony.
of 55 votes, 49% like it
I hunt playwrights with deadly shakespeares.
of 53 votes, 45% like it
The road less traveled is under construction.
of 71 votes, 58% like it
Jack and Jill should have used the faucet.
of 66 votes, 55% like it
I think magnets are particularly attractive.
of 59 votes, 64% like it
Click pens help cure sadness.
of 47 votes, 55% like it
Critics agree: everything sucks.
of 61 votes, 66% like it
Today's weather is perfect for world domination.
of 57 votes, 65% like it
Shhhhh...my foot's asleep.
of 52 votes, 54% like it
Broccoli: Trees for Little People.
of 58 votes, 60% like it
Geometry is fun for all shapes and sizes.
of 51 votes, 63% like it
Bingo does not like his name-o.
of 45 votes, 51% like it
Gravity really dropped the ball.
of 57 votes, 60% like it
I found Waldo with Ctrl+F.
of 68 votes, 63% like it
Math trees have square roots.
of 73 votes, 60% like it
Beavers are damming the nation.
of 51 votes, 65% like it
Pianos don't lose their keys.
of 80 votes, 66% like it
Iceland: Where Dreams are Bjorn.
of 70 votes, 59% like it
Disco fever wiped out a generation.
of 71 votes, 66% like it
I bought a vowel and returned it.
of 58 votes, 47% like it
I gave Heimlich the maneuver.
of 45 votes, 36% like it
I sent my computer to boot camp.
of 67 votes, 61% like it
I was fired today. From a cannon.
of 70 votes, 56% like it
Lunch is not allowed at the The Breakfast Club.
of 76 votes, 57% like it
It's not you, it's me. And the rest of mankind.
of 77 votes, 71% like it
Showers turn into soap operas.
of 61 votes, 46% like it
Air pollution takes my breath away.
of 78 votes, 65% like it
Genies encourage wishful thinking.
of 66 votes, 65% like it
All of my guilty pleasures were found innocent.
of 72 votes, 67% like it
Do you like my hair? I made it myself.
of 66 votes, 47% like it
I won't reveal my true identity until the season finale.
of 64 votes, 56% like it
Let math solve your problems.
of 71 votes, 63% like it
Shirts dye and fade away.
of 60 votes, 60% like it
Videogames teach the importance of saving lives.
of 72 votes, 72% like it
The future knows too much.
of 63 votes, 57% like it
My boxfort has cannons.
of 64 votes, 36% like it
If you can't win, lose.
of 62 votes, 55% like it
I subtracted and made a difference.
of 76 votes, 67% like it
The teacher's pet has fleas.
of 56 votes, 54% like it
I play Monopoly in Candy Land.
of 57 votes, 49% like it
Optimus numbers are prime.
of 66 votes, 55% like it
Misery loves company and bingo.
of 60 votes, 55% like it
Sherlock is my holme boy.
of 83 votes, 69% like it
Economics cost me a free lunch.
of 66 votes, 52% like it
Believe it or not, I am Ripley.
of 77 votes, 44% like it
History is right behind you.
of 81 votes, 53% like it
I dropped physics because of gravity.
of 89 votes, 56% like it
Red Rover is tired of your invitations.
of 111 votes, 62% like it
On casual Fridays, I wear space suits.
of 50 votes, 36% like it
My pet raven quotes everything.
of 86 votes, 42% like it
Not all ranchers are jolly.
of 75 votes, 43% like it
Frozen pizzas are deadly frisbees in disguise.
of 89 votes, 47% like it
My cat has a Ph.D. in string theory.
of 90 votes, 57% like it
Photos can be so negative.
of 98 votes, 54% like it
Tetris taught me the fundamentals of architecture.
of 146 votes, 65% like it
Let's throw a revolutionary tea party.
of 134 votes, 52% like it
Hitchhikers gave me two thumbs up.
of 166 votes, 58% like it
In an alternate dimension, I just saved your life.
of 152 votes, 52% like it
My sleep cycle needs training wheels.
of 154 votes, 49% like it
I will defeat you in a choreographed fight scene.
of 198 votes, 60% like it
I feel more heroic in phone booths.
of 180 votes, 48% like it
I tend to fight fire with water.
of 151 votes, 62% like it
Chute, I forgot my ladder.
of 221 votes, 64% like it
Nothing ever develops at a writer's block party.
of 189 votes, 48% like it
Real bear hugs are often fatal.
of 250 votes, 66% like it
Bubble wrap is an inexpensive form of therapy.
of 202 votes, 55% like it
Origami experts fold under pressure.
of 245 votes, 61% like it
Getting lost is really just accidental sightseeing.
of 225 votes, 58% like it
Dear diary, I wrote today's entry on a shirt.
of 231 votes, 49% like it
Death sentences are grammatically incorrect.
of 232 votes, 50% like it
I fight crime with onomatopoeias. POW!
of 351 votes, 59% like it
Mathematicians find strength in numbers.
of 183 votes, 42% like it
Today is my favorite day of the week.
of 168 votes, 39% like it
Verbs are too tense.
of 229 votes, 45% like it
My darkest hours are always at night.
of 345 votes, 51% like it
Question marks suspect everything.
of 220 votes, 46% like it
Zombies mostly slow dance.
of 286 votes, 45% like it
My air guitar is very difficult to tune.
of 219 votes, 47% like it
Made of 100% recycled genetic material.
of 203 votes, 43% like it
I will rewrite history to make this moment less awkward.
of 285 votes, 46% like it
Apostrophes are so possessive.
of 238 votes, 45% like it
80% agree: 4 out of 5 works too.
of 294 votes, 45% like it
Galaxies are solar powered.
of 194 votes, 43% like it
Astronauts take meteor showers.
of 175 votes, 44% like it
Geologists know how to rock!
of 169 votes, 45% like it
I'm a body of water.
of 303 votes, 39% like it
Stop blaming video games. They babysit your children for free.
of 371 votes, 47% like it
Pencils aspire to be No. 2.
of 491 votes, 57% like it
You may only correct me with a red pen.
of 438 votes, 45% like it
Save your strength, there's a boss battle ahead.
of 373 votes, 43% like it
Evens are against all odds.
of 390 votes, 42% like it
Speed limits make time travel impossible.
of 488 votes, 45% like it
Slogans that have been deleted or that have been dropped from the contest
2001 was a time of odysseys.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
A landslide brought Fleetwood Mac down today.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
A long time ago, water took over the world.
of 35 votes, 17% like it
A tree asked me a question. I was stumped.
of 55 votes, 31% like it
After watching The Muppets, I no longer need antidepressants.
of 52 votes, 23% like it
Aging. It takes a long time.
of 54 votes, 20% like it
Ancient creatures exercise and get dinosaur.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
Artists retrace their steps.
of 45 votes, 22% like it
Astronauts look down on people.
of 47 votes, 26% like it
At 7-Eleven, they really like July 11.
of 54 votes, 17% like it
Babies win, lose, or crawl.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
Bands are into cymbalism.
of 37 votes, 27% like it
Bare Feet: Not Just for Bears.
of 52 votes, 13% like it
Bare Feet: They're Not Just for Bears.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
Billy Corgan is smashing pumpkins.
of 57 votes, 14% like it
Blankets cover me from pillow fire.
of 31 votes, 13% like it
Blankets have it covered.
of 41 votes, 39% like it
Books are going undercover.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
Bowling alleys are not outside.
of 48 votes, 10% like it
Breaking the ice is easier with a hammer.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
Bring the pain and an anti-inflammatory to heal me.
of 25 votes, 4% like it
Bruce Springsteen was born in the USA.
of 40 votes, 3% like it
Calculators know the difference.
of 56 votes, 39% like it
Canadians are born with DNA.
of 46 votes, 15% like it
Captchas: Something you can't read.
of 6 votes, 33% like it
Cats think they're purfect.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
Change makes cents to me.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Change talks cents into people.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
Change the world . . . or the channel.
of 57 votes, 33% like it
Class warfare happens in elementary school.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
Claw machines are down with stuffed animals.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
Clouds are all of the above.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Do artists retrace their steps?
of 49 votes, 14% like it
Don't get even, be odd.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
Don't punch a hurricane in the eye.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
Don't tell anyone I'm a secret agent.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
Drummers are cymbolic.
of 1 votes, 100% like it
Dumbphones are Smartphones without all the appxiety.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
Economics is too supply and demanding.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
Electricity has all the power.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
Four Square and Seven Playgrounds ago...I like recess.
of 6 votes, 33% like it
Gravity: That's How I Roll.
of 38 votes, 39% like it
Hermits don't like the buddy system.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
Houses have windows. They have blue screens, too.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
I fall asleep at my keyboarfjkdlllldlkjfffffffff.
of 43 votes, 28% like it
I am allergic to food poisoning.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
I am the sun's father.
of 53 votes, 9% like it
I bought a game show. It cost a wheel of fortune.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
I bought a vowel and returned it for a Wheel of Fortune.
of 27 votes, 7% like it
I broke a record just to see if it would repeat itself.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
I climb family trees.
of 39 votes, 33% like it
I comb toupets for a living
of 6 votes, 33% like it
I conditioned Pavlov and his dog.
of 7 votes, 29% like it
I couldn't sleep, so I became an insomniac.
of 1 votes, 0% like it
I dated a calendar for one year.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
I don't have a nickname. That's my nickname.
of 36 votes, 6% like it
I don't like hair, but it's growing on me.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
I don't like listening to hospital records.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
I don't shower, but the weather does.
of 35 votes, 9% like it
I don't sleep, I close my eyes.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
I don't take tests, I steal them.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
I drink orange juice with extra pulp fiction.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
I eat bay gulls.
of 13 votes, 15% like it
I got my wake-up call from my phone.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
I have a mosquito and a computer byte.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
I have a problem. I close my eyes when I sleep.
of 35 votes, 9% like it
I have been moonlighting as a werewolf.
of 24 votes, 38% like it
I know a hermit. He's like a crab.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
I know a ruler that is a foot tall.
of 8 votes, 38% like it
I know a ruler. It's in my desk drawer.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
I like cameras. They see the big picture.
of 24 votes, 33% like it
I lost my place reading your mind.
of 36 votes, 19% like it
I lost my wallet and found another one.
of 67 votes, 19% like it
I messed with Texas and got panhandled.
of 1 votes, 100% like it
I named my cheese steak after Philadelphia.
of 1 votes, 0% like it
I paint using martial arts.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
I read the neverending story while counting to infinity.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
I signed up for three courses: breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
I stereo off into space rock.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
I take my herbs on thyme.
of 8 votes, 38% like it
I tell blankets to cover me.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
I use Google to find my keys.
of 54 votes, 13% like it
I watched The Good, the Bad, and the Spaghetti Western Reference.
of 6 votes, 33% like it
I went a round the world in 79.99 days.
of 6 votes, 33% like it
I went to the dentist and got drilled.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
I'm going on a trip, but not an acid one.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
I'm going to count to infinity or die trying.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
I'm going to punch Facebook in the Zuckerberg.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
I'm going to trail off now...
of 3 votes, 33% like it
I'm not a stick figure, but I can draw one.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
I'm not good at memorizing lin
of 27 votes, 4% like it
I'm not good at taking tests unless I'm stealing them.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
I'm not tired. I'm sleepwalking.
of 42 votes, 24% like it
If Billy Joel didn't start the fire, who did?
of 9 votes, 11% like it
If I speed date, will I get pulled over?
of 42 votes, 29% like it
If I were a tree, I could branch off.
of 48 votes, 15% like it
If I were a tree, I would bark at people.
of 71 votes, 25% like it
If I were a tree, I would be over there.
of 55 votes, 15% like it
If the future repeats itself, I'm going back to the future.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
If you can't fall asleep, jump asleep.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
If you go off the deep end, make sure you can swim.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
If you need a hand, buy a deck of cards.
of 9 votes, 33% like it
If you stare long enough, a hidden picture will appear.
of 61 votes, 31% like it
If you're trapped in a horror movie, try not to die.
of 50 votes, 16% like it
In one state, I drive on Rhodes.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
Insomniacs have trouble chasing their dreams.
of 1 votes, 0% like it
Is Debbie really little?
of 42 votes, 14% like it
Isaac Newton taught me the ways of the force.
of 41 votes, 24% like it
Isaac Newton taught me the ways of the force.
of 1 votes, 0% like it
Keyboards are out of Ctrl.
of 46 votes, 26% like it
Keyboards cover my shifts.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
Kitchens dish it out.
of 10 votes, 20% like it
Libraries are my booking agents.
of 43 votes, 30% like it
Life is weird, especially if you're tired.
of 38 votes, 24% like it
Lightning strikes me as a shocking fellow.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
love thy neighbor, especially if they're sexy
of 5 votes, 20% like it
Loves conquers all . . . and so do armies.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
Magazines have serious issues.
of 74 votes, 24% like it
Mannequins are people too.
of 8 votes, 25% like it
Maps know where it's at.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
May the Force be with your movie quotes.
of 40 votes, 33% like it
Mirrors are so vain.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
Mirrors give me the time to reflect.
of 39 votes, 36% like it
Mosquitoes will always suck.
of 63 votes, 22% like it
Mosquitoes are only good at sucking.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
Mountains peak at an early age.
of 34 votes, 38% like it
Movies are a reel good time.
of 11 votes, 18% like it
Music doesn't give me any treble.
of 42 votes, 21% like it
Music gets me in treble.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
My sink drains me.
of 9 votes, 22% like it
My blood is under pressure today.
of 41 votes, 17% like it
My computer is in a processing group.
of 41 votes, 7% like it
My dog is a teacher's pet.
of 33 votes, 12% like it
My favorite knot to tie is an astronaut.
of 45 votes, 20% like it
My favorite president hasn't been born yet.
of 57 votes, 25% like it
My house has windows. I'm glad it doesn't shutdown.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
My house has windows. It has blue screens, too.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
My juice box packs a punch.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
My stereo has a radiohead.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
NASA needs more space.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
Nobody is perfect. Unless your name is Nobody.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
NPR helps me relax.
of 10 votes, 20% like it
Pens are in my click.
of 11 votes, 27% like it
People change. So do vending machines.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
Phones call me out.
of 9 votes, 22% like it
Planks of wood get board.
of 10 votes, 30% like it
Pools are so shallow.
of 49 votes, 14% like it
Put yourself in someone else's shoes even if they don't fit.
of 50 votes, 26% like it
Puzzles promote world piece.
of 53 votes, 25% like it
Quite please, my orange is trying to concentrate.
of 57 votes, 25% like it
Reading helps build character development.
of 48 votes, 23% like it
Scientists are into experimenting.
of 5 votes, 40% like it
Sleep hygiene is falling asleep in the shower.
of 52 votes, 13% like it
Sloths can barely get by.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
Smartphones have appxiety.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
Soccer is my goal in life.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
Spread Joy, Love, and Butter.
of 48 votes, 33% like it
Subtract and make a difference.
of 53 votes, 34% like it
Superman found his calling in phone booth.
of 0 votes, 0% like it
The butterflies in my stomach are making me nervous.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
The FBI thinks I'm sexy. That's why they want me.
of 48 votes, 15% like it
The number two always wants seconds.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
The only French I know are horns.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
There are no miracles in miracle whip.
of 56 votes, 23% like it
There's always a brain stuck in my head.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
Tigers are friendly until they attack you.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
Time doesn't fly so I named my bird Time.
of 43 votes, 19% like it
Treasure chests have nipples.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
Vacuum cleaners clean vacuums.
of 33 votes, 6% like it
Video games take me to the next level.
of 55 votes, 22% like it
Water and I shower together.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
What do genies wish for?
of 31 votes, 52% like it
When bananas get in trouble, they always split.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
When hell freezes over, I'm going ice skating.
of 6 votes, 33% like it
When I need a hand, I buy a deck of cards.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
When I read books, they feel my Grapes of Wrath.
of 7 votes, 29% like it
When I sweat, I smell like awesome.
of 48 votes, 19% like it
When I sweat, I smell like shampoo.
of 47 votes, 4% like it
When it rains, the ground is showering.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
When the time is right, I'll buy a clock.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
Whoa, I'm Keanu Reeves.
of 72 votes, 10% like it
You only live once unless you're reincarnated as something else.
of 30 votes, 13% like it

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