Cool things happen in Antarctica.
of 16 votes, 63% like it
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I keep my vital organs in a rib cage.
of 28 votes, 43% like it
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Model citizens carry glue guns.
of 29 votes, 48% like it
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Immortality increased my lifespan.
of 20 votes, 50% like it
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"Bonsai," said the tree.
of 17 votes, 59% like it
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Bats can read my shirt [printed upside down]
of 28 votes, 46% like it
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I don't fear change, I pocket it.
of 30 votes, 57% like it
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There's something fishy about the ocean.
of 27 votes, 52% like it
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My humor is too dark to see.
of 34 votes, 53% like it
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I'm leaving dying to the last second.
of 25 votes, 56% like it
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I'm allergic to food poisoning.
of 27 votes, 56% like it
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Aliens need more space.
of 24 votes, 50% like it
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I gave up cannibalism for Lent.
of 13 votes, 62% like it
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I scrambled Humpty Dumpty.
of 28 votes, 54% like it
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Houston listens to all of my problems.
of 17 votes, 59% like it
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Houston listens to my problems.
of 29 votes, 55% like it
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My chairs are musically reclined.
of 23 votes, 39% like it
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Wisdom teeth fail at giving advice.
of 29 votes, 52% like it
|
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I tell my problems to Houston.
of 35 votes, 66% like it
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I tell Houston all of my problems.
of 39 votes, 56% like it
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Joy can jump for herself.
of 36 votes, 50% like it
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Due to shortages, life will no longer be handing out lemons.
of 25 votes, 64% like it
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Wizards cast the best shadows.
of 27 votes, 44% like it
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I'm easily persuaded at gunpoint.
of 34 votes, 59% like it
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Opportunity knocked down my front door.
of 31 votes, 39% like it
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I'll stop eating bacon when pigs fly.
of 36 votes, 47% like it
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My pet peeve was euthanized.
of 25 votes, 56% like it
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Instead of keeping the peace, give it away for free.
of 31 votes, 61% like it
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The smart chicken flies a helicopter across the road.
of 28 votes, 57% like it
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Fairy tales paint Grimm pictures.
of 32 votes, 50% like it
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Tree branches are getting twiggy with it.
of 27 votes, 52% like it
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I forgot my stroll down memory lane.
of 25 votes, 60% like it
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I oppose the rule of thumb.
of 31 votes, 71% like it
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Your thinking cap doesn't fit.
of 28 votes, 43% like it
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Screenwriters are plotting against me.
of 28 votes, 46% like it
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Tomorrow is like today, but in the future.
of 37 votes, 57% like it
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I throw genies down wishing wells.
of 38 votes, 47% like it
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Take a stand, but leave the lemonade for me.
of 32 votes, 63% like it
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Heimlich choked.
of 35 votes, 34% like it
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The terms and conditions don't agree with me.
of 25 votes, 56% like it
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Zeros should carry themselves.
of 24 votes, 50% like it
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I plead the 5th symphony.
of 29 votes, 48% like it
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I hunt playwrights with deadly shakespeares.
of 29 votes, 45% like it
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Terms and conditions don't agree with me.
of 35 votes, 51% like it
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The road less traveled is under construction.
of 43 votes, 56% like it
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Jack and Jill should have used the faucet.
of 36 votes, 53% like it
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Lawn ornaments show gnome mercy.
of 26 votes, 50% like it
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I think magnets are particularly attractive.
of 29 votes, 72% like it
|
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Click pens help cure sadness.
of 27 votes, 56% like it
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Verbs need to relax. They're always so tense.
of 28 votes, 68% like it
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Critics agree: everything sucks.
of 32 votes, 59% like it
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Today's weather is perfect for world domination.
of 27 votes, 70% like it
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Shhhhh...my foot's asleep.
of 24 votes, 54% like it
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Broccoli: Trees for Little People.
of 29 votes, 66% like it
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I get medieval in bouncy castles.
of 27 votes, 74% like it
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Your font is just my type.
of 29 votes, 69% like it
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Google knows how to spell it.
of 24 votes, 54% like it
|
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Geometry is fun for all shapes and sizes.
of 27 votes, 63% like it
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Don't hug falling trees.
of 25 votes, 52% like it
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Starving artists draw food.
of 30 votes, 63% like it
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Time flies when you're in a Delorean.
of 32 votes, 78% like it
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Forget the leader, follow me.
of 28 votes, 46% like it
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The road less traveled is closed for construction.
of 27 votes, 56% like it
|
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Ask who, what, when, why, and werewolf.
of 23 votes, 43% like it
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Bingo does not like his name-o.
of 22 votes, 55% like it
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Vampires don't eat garlic stake.
of 21 votes, 43% like it
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Gravity really dropped the ball.
of 31 votes, 61% like it
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I found Waldo with Ctrl+F.
of 37 votes, 65% like it
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Math trees have square roots.
of 50 votes, 58% like it
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Beavers are damming the nation.
of 25 votes, 68% like it
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Pianos don't lose their keys.
of 53 votes, 70% like it
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Iceland: Where Dreams are Bjorn.
of 43 votes, 60% like it
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Disco fever wiped out a generation.
of 44 votes, 70% like it
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I bought a vowel and returned it.
of 40 votes, 45% like it
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I gave Heimlich the maneuver.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
|
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I sent my computer to boot camp.
of 42 votes, 64% like it
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I was fired today. From a cannon.
of 44 votes, 61% like it
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Lunch is not allowed at the The Breakfast Club.
of 49 votes, 59% like it
|
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It's not you, it's me. And the rest of mankind.
of 46 votes, 78% like it
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Showers turn into soap operas.
of 38 votes, 45% like it
|
Air pollution takes my breath away.
of 50 votes, 66% like it
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|
Genies encourage wishful thinking.
of 39 votes, 72% like it
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All of my guilty pleasures were found innocent.
of 43 votes, 72% like it
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Do you like my hair? I made it myself.
of 44 votes, 45% like it
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I won't reveal my true identity until the season finale.
of 43 votes, 56% like it
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Let math solve your problems.
of 48 votes, 67% like it
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Shirts dye and fade away.
of 38 votes, 66% like it
|
|
Videogames teach the importance of saving lives.
of 45 votes, 76% like it
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The future knows too much.
of 44 votes, 59% like it
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Satin is the evil fabric.
of 43 votes, 47% like it
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My boxfort has cannons.
of 43 votes, 30% like it
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If you can't win, lose.
of 42 votes, 57% like it
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I subtracted and made a difference.
of 50 votes, 70% like it
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The teacher's pet has fleas.
of 35 votes, 57% like it
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I play Monopoly in Candy Land.
of 39 votes, 51% like it
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Optimus numbers are prime.
of 45 votes, 56% like it
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Misery loves company and bingo.
of 42 votes, 57% like it
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Sherlock is my holme boy.
of 58 votes, 74% like it
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Economics cost me a free lunch.
of 47 votes, 51% like it
|
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Believe it or not, I am Ripley.
of 59 votes, 42% like it
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At least the FBI wants me.
of 64 votes, 63% like it
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History is right behind you.
of 64 votes, 53% like it
|
|
I dropped physics because of gravity.
of 72 votes, 57% like it
|
Red Rover is tired of your invitations.
of 91 votes, 65% like it
|
I like cheese. It's Gouda.
of 27 votes, 52% like it
|
|
Lightning bolts are on strike.
of 50 votes, 38% like it
|
My pet raven quotes everything.
of 69 votes, 41% like it
|
Inner demons hate regular exorcise.
of 60 votes, 50% like it
|
|
Frozen pizzas are deadly frisbees in disguise.
of 70 votes, 47% like it
|
My cat has a Ph.D. in string theory.
of 69 votes, 54% like it
|
Stick figures fall from trees.
of 87 votes, 47% like it
|
|
Photos can be so negative.
of 77 votes, 52% like it
|
Tetris taught me the fundamentals of architecture.
of 139 votes, 67% like it
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Let's throw a revolutionary tea party.
of 118 votes, 51% like it
|
|
Geometry is for love triangles.
of 62 votes, 37% like it
|
I took scrapbooking in collage.
of 63 votes, 40% like it
|
Hitchhikers gave me two thumbs up.
of 143 votes, 57% like it
|
|
In an alternate dimension, I just saved your life.
of 133 votes, 52% like it
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My sleep cycle needs training wheels.
of 135 votes, 48% like it
|
I will defeat you in a choreographed fight scene.
of 175 votes, 58% like it
|
|
I feel more heroic in phone booths.
of 163 votes, 48% like it
|
I tend to fight fire with water.
of 126 votes, 60% like it
|
Piñatas are victims of child abuse.
of 77 votes, 49% like it
|
|
Chute, I forgot my ladder.
of 191 votes, 63% like it
|
A fortune cookie predicted we'd meet someday.
of 82 votes, 38% like it
|
Nothing ever develops at a writer's block party.
of 168 votes, 47% like it
|
|
Real bear hugs are often fatal.
of 222 votes, 65% like it
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Bubble wrap is an inexpensive form of therapy.
of 186 votes, 55% like it
|
Origami experts fold under pressure.
of 221 votes, 61% like it
|
|
Getting lost is really just accidental sightseeing.
of 205 votes, 59% like it
|
If you stare long enough, the hidden 3D image will appear.
of 66 votes, 42% like it
|
How can you see through my invisibility cloak?
of 80 votes, 36% like it
|
|
Let's engage in small talk about the weather.
of 88 votes, 36% like it
|
Allow me to demonstrate an, awkward pause.
of 71 votes, 38% like it
|
The director's cut of my life is much better.
of 101 votes, 41% like it
|
|
Dear diary, I wrote today's entry on a shirt.
of 210 votes, 49% like it
|
Death sentences are grammatically incorrect.
of 211 votes, 49% like it
|
Librarians, check me out.
of 98 votes, 40% like it
|
|
I fight crime with onomatopoeias. POW!
of 325 votes, 58% like it
|
Physicists know how to use the force.
of 46 votes, 24% like it
|
Mathematicians find strength in numbers.
of 163 votes, 40% like it
|
|
Today is my favorite day of the week.
of 147 votes, 37% like it
|
Don't let acid rain on your parade.
of 204 votes, 40% like it
|
Verbs are too tense.
of 207 votes, 43% like it
|
|
My darkest hours are always at night.
of 326 votes, 52% like it
|
Question marks suspect everything.
of 196 votes, 45% like it
|
Zombies mostly slow dance.
of 266 votes, 45% like it
|
|
My air guitar is very difficult to tune.
of 196 votes, 46% like it
|
Your dancing amuses me, continue.
of 266 votes, 47% like it
|
Made of 100% recycled genetic material.
of 181 votes, 41% like it
|
|
I will rewrite history to make this moment less awkward.
of 260 votes, 45% like it
|
Apostrophes are so possessive.
of 213 votes, 44% like it
|
80% agree: 4 out of 5 works too.
of 270 votes, 44% like it
|
|
Galaxies are solar powered.
of 170 votes, 41% like it
|
Astronauts take meteor showers.
of 152 votes, 42% like it
|
Geologists know how to rock!
of 148 votes, 44% like it
|
|
I'm a body of water.
of 284 votes, 38% like it
|
Stop blaming video games. They babysit your children for free.
of 347 votes, 47% like it
|
Pencils aspire to be No. 2.
of 462 votes, 57% like it
|
|
You may only correct me with a red pen.
of 415 votes, 45% like it
|
Save your strength, there's a boss battle ahead.
of 352 votes, 43% like it
|
Evens are against all odds.
of 368 votes, 41% like it
|
|
Speed limits make time travel impossible.
of 471 votes, 45% like it
|
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