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MadIron
MadIron aka Mason Jones is a 29.32 year old boy, has been a member since August 18, 2006, has scored 287 submissions, giving an average score of 2.56.
It's not that I hate you. I just really really don't like you.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
Every new day has the chance to be the worst day of your life.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
Anorexics are starving for attention.
of 13 votes, 38% like it
If being confusing is wrong, I don't not want to not be right.
of 28 votes, 54% like it
This little piggy went home to play video games.
of 25 votes, 44% like it
I wasn't born evil, I chose to be this way.
of 24 votes, 46% like it
(on back) The End Is Near. See? (arrow pointing down)
of 24 votes, 29% like it
I plan to leave this world the same way I came. Naked and bloody
of 27 votes, 48% like it
Will get in your van for candy
of 32 votes, 25% like it
I don't kill time. I murder it.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
Snakes make the worst jump ropes.
of 22 votes, 45% like it
The glass used to be half-full, but I was very thirsty.
of 30 votes, 63% like it
Everyone is disgusting on the inside.
of 29 votes, 34% like it
Strangers are just people who haven't molested you yet.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Zombies and Cannibals agree: I look delicious!
of 35 votes, 46% like it
There is nothing scarier than what is behind you RIGHT NOW
of 32 votes, 41% like it
Nostalgia used to be so much better.
of 28 votes, 36% like it
Religious people have the best sects.
of 34 votes, 41% like it
What happens in Vegas immediately gets posted on the internet.
of 39 votes, 46% like it
Intellectual superiority is also bliss.
of 38 votes, 34% like it
When push comes to shove, I fall down.
of 47 votes, 34% like it
Sweating bullets would be helpful in a gunfight.
of 51 votes, 49% like it
I've never had children, but I hear they're delicious.
of 53 votes, 58% like it
Math is the language of <3
of 43 votes, 33% like it
My super power is everyone reads my shirts. It's the worst power.
of 62 votes, 37% like it
I like telling homeless people that change is coming.
of 63 votes, 43% like it
If I had a time machine, I'd stop Hitler. With dinosaurs.
of 67 votes, 54% like it
Are you sure this isn't Hell?
of 61 votes, 39% like it
Modesty is for people way less awesome than me.
of 55 votes, 45% like it
It's a zombie eat cannibal world out there.
of 53 votes, 40% like it
The customer is usually wrong and should be quiet.
of 71 votes, 42% like it
Exorcisms bring out the worst in me.
of 67 votes, 42% like it
Jesus won't come back until gas prices are more reasonable.
of 74 votes, 59% like it
Cannibalism solves world hunger AND overpopulation.
of 77 votes, 61% like it
Silly emo. Razors are for shaving!
of 78 votes, 38% like it
The only monster under your bed is your creepy uncle.
of 75 votes, 27% like it
This is actually not a shirt, but a very intricate tattoo.
of 78 votes, 33% like it
Even the strongest coffee can still get mugged.
of 78 votes, 42% like it
The apple falls far from the tree when the tree is on a cliff.
of 77 votes, 36% like it
Is that rigor mortis in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?
of 74 votes, 30% like it
ABUSING UPPER-CASE LETTERS IS A CAPITAL OFFENSE
of 72 votes, 42% like it
Being patient takes too long
of 68 votes, 31% like it
Sunbathers have a very high turnover rate.
of 73 votes, 38% like it
Surround sound cured my Mono.
of 77 votes, 48% like it
You are not paranoid. We really are watching you.
of 90 votes, 43% like it
Everything looks creepier in black and white. Except pandas.
of 93 votes, 59% like it
The difference between cannibals and zombies is how fast you run.
of 90 votes, 44% like it
Cake > 3.141592654
of 84 votes, 61% like it
Don't step on the red squares. Those are lava.
of 84 votes, 39% like it
If crime doesn't pay, then you're doing it wrong.
of 93 votes, 47% like it
I shake my fist at the sky because I hate clouds.
of 94 votes, 34% like it
I'm 69% sure you're thinking about something dirty right now.
of 107 votes, 47% like it
Sticks and stones may break my bones, so stop throwing them at me
of 103 votes, 38% like it
I only smoke when I'm on fire.
of 118 votes, 41% like it
Coincidentally, I'm staring at your chest right now too!
of 115 votes, 38% like it
Once the bodies decompose, I'll have skeletons in my closet.
of 106 votes, 40% like it
I don't care which came first, I will eat them both.
of 126 votes, 55% like it
I avoid infectious diseases like the plague.
of 103 votes, 38% like it
I would kill for world peace.
of 114 votes, 39% like it
If not for public decency laws, I'd be naked right now.
of 109 votes, 31% like it
I didn't climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.
of 119 votes, 55% like it
If these are the best years of my life, please kill me now.
of 116 votes, 32% like it
Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it in summer school
of 114 votes, 41% like it
If there is life after death, I am going to haunt you so bad.
of 111 votes, 32% like it
It's impossible to beat the pants off a nudist.
of 112 votes, 34% like it
My thoughts are worth much more than a penny.
of 107 votes, 39% like it
Find a penny, pick it up, and all day long you'll have a penny.
of 109 votes, 34% like it
I'm even creepier on the internet.
of 106 votes, 40% like it
Eye contact would be better.
of 108 votes, 35% like it
Service: The only reason I'm wearing a shirt and shoes right now
of 108 votes, 36% like it
My windowless van is full of candy and bicycles.
of 104 votes, 42% like it
I can't remember ever having amnesia.
of 107 votes, 33% like it
Being born again would be pretty awkward for you and your mom.
of 110 votes, 44% like it
Despite the name, nomads can get pretty angry.
of 111 votes, 52% like it
If you can't beat them, sue them for emotional damages.
of 102 votes, 32% like it
You don't have to be a zombie to enjoy eating brains.
of 98 votes, 38% like it
Nobody likes a party pooper. Especially a literal one.
of 99 votes, 31% like it
Brain surgery isn't rocket science.
of 96 votes, 34% like it
Anne Frank: 1942 - 1944 Hide-and-Seek Champion
of 103 votes, 39% like it
Having a disease named after you is the worst way to get famous.
of 102 votes, 44% like it
George Washington could not lie. He also liked big butts.
of 100 votes, 45% like it
Don't talk to strangers unless they offer delicious candy.
of 111 votes, 34% like it
Surgeons bring out the worst in people.
of 105 votes, 30% like it
You can't sue the pants off a nudist.
of 105 votes, 29% like it
Friendly fire is not very friendly at all.
of 112 votes, 32% like it
I support the government. With my taxes. Because I have to.
of 110 votes, 41% like it
Alliterations are always awesome and also annoying.
of 110 votes, 36% like it
Living in Transylvania is for suckers.
of 117 votes, 27% like it
I plan on being spontaneous later today.
of 118 votes, 39% like it
I go from 0 to 60 in 21,915 days.
of 121 votes, 42% like it
I went to the Dark Side, and all I got were these awesome powers.
of 119 votes, 43% like it
Standing next to you makes me feel better about myself.
of 116 votes, 28% like it
Time isn't money. I have plenty of time to waste.
of 118 votes, 47% like it
Good ideas are relative to your position under a light bulb.
of 119 votes, 36% like it
My favorite Renaissance artists were giant turtles.
of 117 votes, 32% like it
I'm sick of gravity always pushing me around.
of 113 votes, 30% like it
I still don't know what function the conjunction junction serves.
of 115 votes, 41% like it
I demand perfect grammer in all online correspondence.
of 108 votes, 29% like it
Painters rock out with their smock out.
of 108 votes, 35% like it
My super power is a heightened sense of entitlement.
of 111 votes, 29% like it
Make like a tree, and provide a shaded area for me to nap.
of 116 votes, 35% like it
Now accepting applications for professional henchmen.
of 112 votes, 24% like it
You're lucky Santa is watching right now.
of 111 votes, 31% like it
TEAMWORK: When you're too lazy to get the job done yourself.
of 113 votes, 38% like it
You only stalk the ones you love.
of 110 votes, 28% like it
I decided to use my powers for evil.
of 128 votes, 40% like it
I am much more interesting on the internet.
of 132 votes, 33% like it
When I grow up, I want to pilot a giant robot.
of 121 votes, 27% like it
Jesus walked on water. Ninjas walk on water. Jesus was a ninja.
of 121 votes, 34% like it
I'm writing a poem about my ex. What rhymes with syphilis?
of 124 votes, 39% like it
I enjoy the freedom to have my government tell me how to live.
of 122 votes, 34% like it
Never stop believing in yourself, or you might disappear.
of 126 votes, 38% like it
I enjoy my meat rare. And by rare, I mean endangered.
of 119 votes, 35% like it
Smoking may lead to lung cancer and looking cool.
of 124 votes, 29% like it
When I was your age, we had to dial onto the internet.
of 122 votes, 32% like it
You could do worse.
of 121 votes, 26% like it
Guns don't kill people! They do sort of help though.
of 125 votes, 36% like it
I'm afraid of clowns, spiders, and commitment.
of 139 votes, 26% like it
I'm proud to be an American, unless I'm traveling abroad.
of 142 votes, 35% like it
The Special Olympics: If you laugh, you're going to hell.
of 139 votes, 30% like it
Terrorists are the new Communists.
of 135 votes, 29% like it
The best things in life are free if you steal them.
of 142 votes, 32% like it
Keep your friends close, and your enemies in secret volcano lairs
of 146 votes, 47% like it
I'm here to collect the ransom.
of 139 votes, 27% like it
I used to wear my heart on my sleeve, but it kept falling off.
of 145 votes, 32% like it
I can't feel emotions, and that makes me very sad.
of 141 votes, 30% like it
Cannibals eat people like you for breakfast.
of 149 votes, 33% like it
In the event of an emergency, I will scream like a little girl.
of 157 votes, 39% like it
In my will, I'm leaving everything to Beaver.
of 147 votes, 31% like it
The glass was half-full, but I was thirsty.
of 147 votes, 41% like it
You looked better from the bushes outside your window.
of 155 votes, 39% like it
Trapped in a shirt factory. Send help.
of 156 votes, 38% like it
I am allergic to children screaming in public places.
of 154 votes, 40% like it
If you don't have something nice to say, say it on the internet.
of 147 votes, 35% like it
I only wear spandex when I'm fighting crime.
of 157 votes, 42% like it
I do not fear death. I save my game every time I walk outside.
of 153 votes, 33% like it
In an emergency, this shirt can be used as a conversation piece.
of 161 votes, 30% like it
Before I kill you, I'm going to tell you my entire evil plan.
of 178 votes, 48% like it
Being manic-depressive has its ups and downs.
of 176 votes, 44% like it
I know the secret to happiness, but I promised not to tell.
of 167 votes, 31% like it
There's more than one way to skin a cat, but they are all illegal
of 165 votes, 35% like it
I'm sorry, I only speak whatever language you don't speak.
of 174 votes, 41% like it
It's all fun and games until someone gets cursed by a gypsy.
of 172 votes, 45% like it
I am not having a seizure. This is how I dance.
of 181 votes, 42% like it
I only came because I heard that there would be pie.
of 169 votes, 40% like it
People with low self-esteem are stupid and worthless.
of 195 votes, 43% like it
I only stalk the people that I'm really crazy about.
of 194 votes, 28% like it
You have nothing to fear but fear itself. And spiders.
of 216 votes, 39% like it
Playing dead works on bears. It does not work on bosses.
of 208 votes, 38% like it
When I'm cold, this shirt is in braille.
of 205 votes, 32% like it
I was bit by a radioactive spider, and all I got was cancer.
of 210 votes, 40% like it
1. Find genie lamp 2. Wish for more genie lamps 3. Profit
of 219 votes, 37% like it
Kill them with kindness. Or if that doesn't work, use a knife.
of 213 votes, 31% like it
I will think of something better to say after you leave.
of 206 votes, 33% like it
Slogans that have been deleted or that have been dropped from the contest
'But it was Opposite Day!' does not hold up in court.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
'Don't quote me on this...' - Me
of 16 votes, 31% like it
(front) I'm coming. (back) I came.
of 6 votes, 0% like it
1 may be the lonliest number, but at least it doesn't have herpes
of 24 votes, 25% like it
A watched browser never downloads.
of 40 votes, 25% like it
Abbreviations r dum.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
Abusing lower-case letters is a Capital Offense.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
Acrophobia: My anti drug
of 26 votes, 8% like it
Angry poets write in iambic penDAMNeter.
of 34 votes, 24% like it
Are you loling at me?
of 7 votes, 0% like it
Beggars can be choosers when the beggar has a gun.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
Big Brother is a freaking pervert.
of 4 votes, 0% like it
Clowns aren't fooling anybody.
of 31 votes, 10% like it
Diamond dogs are everyone's best friend!
of 23 votes, 22% like it
Dragons are always making inflammatory comments.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
Emo accountants are papercutters.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Energy drinks give me the runs. And the jumps!
of 11 votes, 9% like it
Everyone has skeletons in their closet. Mine belonged to hookers.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
Evolution is silly. A giant invisible man in the sky made me!
of 32 votes, 19% like it
Feed the hungry, Shelter the homeless, Kill the emo
of 41 votes, 12% like it
For God so loved the world that he gave us pancakes.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
Forest fires are God's way of saying: I HATE TREES!
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Free refills cured my pessimism!
of 44 votes, 25% like it
Gay Marriage: It's what killed the dinosaurs.
of 40 votes, 23% like it
Gorilla warfare is bananas.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
Hate is such a strong word, but I really really don't like you.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Have you accepted oxygen-depleted blood cells into your heart?
of 37 votes, 16% like it
I AM REALLY QUITE SHY
of 10 votes, 0% like it
I captivate audiences with rope and duct tape.
of 20 votes, 5% like it
I don't run unless I'm being chased.
of 41 votes, 20% like it
I have superpowers, but I think my costume looks too tacky.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
I HeARRRrt Pirates!
of 43 votes, 9% like it
I hope there are a lot of presents in my future.
of 8 votes, 0% like it
I hope there are a lot of presents in my future.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
I kill people with kindness. And knives.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
I live my life based off a book that I wrote myself.
of 3 votes, 0% like it
I never ever deal in absolutes. Ever!
of 20 votes, 10% like it
I only steal from the rich to give to the poor. I'm poor.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
I smell like a winner!
of 28 votes, 11% like it
I started the Middle-Eastern conflicts. Sorry.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
I tried doing the Lord's work, but doing nothing is boring.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
I used to fight fair. Now I fight carnival.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
I want to verb you like a noun.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
I will forgive all your sins if you give me a foot massage.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
I would sell my soul for eternal life.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
I wouldn't be caught dead in a hearse.
of 39 votes, 21% like it
I'd give an arm and a leg not to be an amputee.
of 36 votes, 17% like it
I'm not without sin, I just like throwing rocks at people.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
I'm sorry, I only speak whatever language you can't speak.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
I'm the internet tough guy the moderators warned you about.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
I'm too drunk to take a sobriety test.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
If at first you don't succeed, give up and go play a video game.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
If I had a nipple for every time I made a Freudian slip...
of 16 votes, 13% like it
If it ain't broke buy the extended warranty because it will break
of 21 votes, 14% like it
If man were meant to fly, we would all have jetpacks.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
If the wearer of this shirt is found dead, notify local superhero
of 20 votes, 15% like it
If you like this shirt, wait until you see my PANTS!
of 34 votes, 21% like it
If you never play, you never lose!
of 8 votes, 13% like it
In 2000 years, Harry Potter will be the new Jesus.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
In 30 years this shirt will be popular again.
of 31 votes, 19% like it
In America, the terrorists wear business suits.
of 38 votes, 24% like it
Iran's so far away.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
Ireland is so Gae.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
It's better to regret what you've done than what you wish you had
of 8 votes, 13% like it
It's easy to be jolly when you're on top of the world.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
Jesus died for what I'm going to do later tonight.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
Keep your chin up! Unless you're being punched in the face.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
Lincoln shot first.
of 9 votes, 0% like it
Lots of humans were harmed in the making of this shirt.
of 38 votes, 29% like it
Love means never having to do the dishes. You do them.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Maybe after this, you can stare at my pants for awhile.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Me + You -:- Clothes = Let's get naked.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Midgets make everything better.
of 33 votes, 15% like it
Mutes never say die
of 26 votes, 12% like it
My biggest childhood bully was Puberty.
of 41 votes, 24% like it
My dream job is to be a professional sleeper.
of 42 votes, 29% like it
My horse gets 1/300 carpower.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
Obesity doesn't run in families. It doesn't run anywhere!
of 34 votes, 26% like it
Paranoia really freaks me out.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
Parenthood: The gift that keeps on taking.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
Pave the Planet! Because nature is terrifying.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
Pi = 3.14delicious
of 65 votes, 29% like it
Polygamists are stealing all our women!
of 41 votes, 15% like it
President of the Anarchy Club.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
Russian Roulette: You go first
of 42 votes, 26% like it
Save a drum. Beat a child.
of 32 votes, 28% like it
Save Ferris Wheels!
of 32 votes, 3% like it
Screw diamonds - Herpes are forever.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
Silver platters are nice, but I'd really prefer gold
of 18 votes, 11% like it
Spiders are even scared of spiders.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
Starting tomorrow, I will stop putting things off.
of 3 votes, 0% like it
Stop, drop, and LOL
of 3 votes, 0% like it
Superdelegate: It's a bird. It's a plane. It's an OLD WHITE GUY!
of 33 votes, 12% like it
Tea bagging drives me nuts!
of 14 votes, 14% like it
The best things in life cost more money than I'll ever have.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
The call of the wild sounds like this, "ARROOOEEEOOOOWWW!&qu
of 0 votes, 0% like it
The call of the wild sounds like this, 'ARROOOEEEOOOOWWW!'
of 20 votes, 20% like it
the capital of america is AMERICA.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
The most dangerous animal is Wookiee.
of 9 votes, 22% like it
The next person to read this shirt has to give me head.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
The sea is running out of fish.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
The secret to eternal youth is immaturity!
of 37 votes, 22% like it
They call it style. I call it douchebaggery.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
Things To Do Before I Die: 1. Live
of 34 votes, 26% like it
This is my new host body!
of 43 votes, 26% like it
This sentence is exactly 65 characters with spaces also included.
of 36 votes, 19% like it
This shirt makes no cents.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
Time travelers need to stop living in the past.
of 100 votes, 35% like it
Torso Containment System: Activated
of 3 votes, 0% like it
Trenchcoats: Only appropriate before and during school shootings.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
Water conservation has no place in the bathroom.
of 3 votes, 0% like it
What the world needs now is a league of costumed superheroes.
of 11 votes, 27% like it
When Jesus gets here, he's going to be very cross.
of 1 votes, 0% like it
You say fiction writer, I say BIG FAT LIAR!
of 13 votes, 15% like it
My gallery photos
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All about me
masonmasonjonesjones@yahoo.com


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Shirts I Own
Of The Dead
The Communist Party
Flowers In The Attic
Mama's Boy
Haikus are easy...
Motovino
Rampage
You've Got Some 'Splaining To Do
Death: Our Nation's Number One Killer

Shirts I Want
Ctrl-Z
Goatse
Stabby McKnife
The Fast Supper
Bald Eagle
Dark Creepy Barn
Sticks of Shame
Insomnia
I'd Give My Left Arm... - :(
Ask Me How I Became A Pirate