Profile for umbluemusic - Shitty Roommates/Flatmates

umbluemusic aka mary is a 26.33 year old girl, has been a member since August 14, 2006, has scored 1,311 submissions, giving an average score of 2.32, helping 29 designs get printed.

AIM: blueberrigurl04

Dec 12 '07 by umbluemusic
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Shitty Roommates/Flatmates

I currently live with two terrible terrible girls who are two years younger and that I have absolutely nothing in common with. My residential life office did a FANTASTIC job pairing my friend, Jess, and I with them. (I know they have to put everyone somewhere, but damnit, why did we have to get them). Anyway, they've been doing shitty things for months, which is part of the reason we're moving to a much nicer apartment in a couple weeks, but today when I walked by my door I noticed that they used a Sharpie to draw a MUSTACHE on a photo of myself while I was in New Zealand last semester.

I have never defaced, ruined, even TOUCHED anything of theirs, so I am extremely offended and pissed off right now. I'm trying to think of subtle ways to do the same to them. Well, subtle ways without ruining their shit. I figured since they both have dates tonight and were arguing about who was getting the first shower, and I needed a shower since I had work earlier today, I would just go ahead and jump in. And take a 30 minute one. The last 10 were pretty boring.

Anyone else have some roommate stories to comfort me with? These bitches have pushed me to my limits this semester; I have lived with bad roommates in the past but they win the fucking prize. Literally; they bring home a lot of guys.

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Roostersauce on Dec 12 '07 at 6:48pm

How bout instead of sinking down to their level and making the situation worse you get in their face and bitch them out. Don't go behind their back doing little things to their shit like they did to you. Confront it straight up, that'll make them stop over anythinge else

mooseinmyshoe on Dec 12 '07 at 6:49pm

that SUCKS

i thought my roomie and i wouldn't get along, but she's AWESOME

but she is also leaving next semester

shirtflirt on Dec 12 '07 at 6:50pm

well, i would use photoshop to doctor up a fake medical receipt, leave it visible in the bathroom or somewhere, and on it write Genital Herpes or something like that.

also, check out the book "He died with a Falafel in his hand." tons of good ways to get back at shitty roomates.

courtney pie on Dec 12 '07 at 6:50pm

i say do both.

calmly explain that they're dumbasses. then saran wrap their bedroom doors in the middle of the night

shirtflirt on Dec 12 '07 at 6:51pm

that's the best way, rooster. but not very fun or mischievious.

umbluemusic on Dec 12 '07 at 6:55pm

I mean, its not like we haven't already had words. Its the reason we're leaving; I'm tired of them treating my roommate's and my things like they're worthless. Just the other day I went into the kitchen and found my dishtowels covered in icing in the trash. When I asked them about it, they said they didn't "intentionally" throw them out.

So how did they wind up covered in the icing from their cookies in the can? I'm pretty sure my towel didn't throw itself away.

As well as the fact they regularly throw away things in the mail, and I never got a package notice. In the package was $1000 worth of medical supplies, and I was ready to call it in to the insurance company when I got someone who worked at the desk to check through the past few weeks records and see if there was a package that hadn't been signed for yet. And there was one...mine. Fishy.

loserbeech on Dec 12 '07 at 6:56pm

Haven't you seen the video? BUTTER THE FLOOR.

umbluemusic on Dec 12 '07 at 6:57pm

That actually sounds fun. :D

ofthecoast on Dec 12 '07 at 6:57pm

ahaha totally butter the floor.

pinkelephants on Dec 12 '07 at 6:57pm

Visine shooter in their drinks.

They'll have horrible diarrhea for awhile.

You can't taste or smell it either.

They'll regret doing anything rude to you!

Tonteau on Dec 12 '07 at 6:58pm

FANTASTIC - MUSTACHE - TOUCHED

It's code!!

Roostersauce on Dec 12 '07 at 7:01pm

wow...that is uber lame. This is what you gotta do then. Don't mess with any petty things. You're about leave, do it big. Make them hurt, make them feel the pain.

I suggest a series of huge pranks.

Roostersauce on Dec 12 '07 at 7:02pm

If they have a car saran wrap the entire thing with a few layers then cover it with ky jelly

loserbeech on Dec 12 '07 at 7:05pm

You should send their death certificates to their parents. All you have to do is kill them, call the cops, get the certificates, and pop them in the post. It's that simple!

courtney pie on Dec 12 '07 at 7:12pm

oh dude! butter the floor fo sho!

still like saran srap on doorway tho. my old roomie did it the the 3rd one as a fun prank, totally nailed him in middle of the night. was hilarious.

umbluemusic on Dec 12 '07 at 7:22pm

I really like the coke bomb one. If they buy a bottle anytime soon I'm doing that. It'd be awesome.

I'm not sure I could stoop to murder though...or else the death certificate one could be fun. Although it would sort of be more of a prank on the parents...they wouldn't be around to suffer through the "prank."

courtney pie on Dec 12 '07 at 7:26pm

oooh. and make sure you have camera at the ready. we're gonna need pictures of this. for sure!

cassiepaige on Dec 12 '07 at 7:31pm

Saran Wrap on the potty is always a good one.

Buy car chalk and cover their windows. It won't hurt their car, but it takes a super long time to clean it off. Best if done the night before you move.

umbluemusic on Dec 12 '07 at 7:31pm

Will do. I just have to go buy a pack of mentos and I'm ready to go. My camera is sitting here, charged and ready. :D

umbluemusic on Dec 12 '07 at 7:33pm

I like the idea of doing things to their cars, but unfortunately I'm not quite sure what they look like other than that one girl definitely drives an SUV cause she talks about hitting things with it frequently since its so large, and that they are both New Jersey cars. So I could walk the lots looking for Jersey cars, but there are definitely more than two on campus.

shirtflirt on Dec 12 '07 at 7:33pm

careful with the coke bomb.

i almost blew my hand off with one of them.

cassiepaige on Dec 12 '07 at 7:34pm

GOOD ONE

amaliaslash on Dec 12 '07 at 7:39pm

i had a blog about the terrible roommates i live with, but i got waaay too angry in it and deleted it a few days later.

but yeah, most recently i noticed one of them had written "FAT" in pink highlighter on our white garage door by where i keep my bike.

they also smoke pot constantly and leave their food garbage everywhere, and it rots on the fridge or in the couch or anywhere they feel, because EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE A DISHWASHER, it's just too much effort to put things in there, so they'd rather their food mold after being left out for two weeks.

flourpower on Dec 12 '07 at 7:39pm

Oh god, Jersey trash in SUVs. Go figure (no offense to people from NJ!).

That really, really sucks. I had a pretty horrible roommate for the first part of this semester who finally moved out b/c she wanted a single so her (weird) sister could sleep over every weekend and because it annoyed her that her waking up early woke me up (seriously). But she was good at being fake to everyone else, so people thought I was the bitch. She didn't have the balls to do anything that I could bitch her out for, though...just caused me to miss a meeting w/ our RA about her moving out and little stuff. She ended up having to move to a tiny double on a party floor, mwhaha.

flourpower on Dec 12 '07 at 7:40pm

amalia -- That is so terrible! Ugh! You should release some mice in there.

amaliaslash on Dec 12 '07 at 7:44pm

yeah...we already have fruit flies and ants too! but i leave on the 22nd, never to return to orange county...i just wish i could do something to the slutty roommates and not have it affect my nice roommate, melissa. she is more similar to me in lifestyle, and doesn't like partying until 4am on a wednesday night, which is what the other two do (and we all work at the same job...)

umbluemusic on Dec 12 '07 at 7:45pm

I agree; that is horrible amalia. I barely cook at the apartment since I work a lot and I'm a waitress so I tend to just hang out there and get free food, but thats part of what set off the recent turn of events - I told them not to use my pots and leave cooked on food in them on the stove for days (which they do constantly). Mostly because the pots were my mom's wedding present that she saved for me when she bought a new heavier weight set, and they're decent plus they have sentimental value. So they told us not to use their toaster or TV. Because that is totally the same thing as using people's stuff and leaving it all dirty. But anyway, we took all our stuff out of the kitchen so they couldn't use it anymore and they got pissed at us. Ugh.

jet approves on Dec 12 '07 at 7:51pm

my roommate takes a 3 hour nap most days, and then by night she's too awake to fall asleep. last night at 1am i was trying to sleep and she left alllll her lights on as she typed away on the comp saying swears to herself pretty loudly. her closet is very close to the foot of my bed, and she decided that it was the perfect time to arrange her closet. she took a hanger with clothing on it and placed it on my bed WHILE I WAS IN IT. i jostled my foot around, but she left it there for another minute. she left the room and i turned off her main light. she came back into the room and turned on the tv. i was so pissed off i didn't even ask her to turn it off because i knew i'd explode. the night before that i asked her to mute it and she said,"oh sorry" and she turned it off. why would the next night be different? then she slept through her 8am class and didn't get up by the time i left an hour later.

amaliaslash on Dec 12 '07 at 7:52pm

i hate retaliation to retaliation. it's so aggravating...which is why i hate saying anything about their dumb actions in the first place, because i don't want them to be like..."well YOU forgot to clean the george forman grill that one time," which is the same case, i guess. but i also don't clean it because it's still hot, never have i left it dirty weeks on end.

amaliaslash on Dec 12 '07 at 7:53pm

they should get that they suck enough to deserve the retaliation, but not bust out MORE bad things. the reasoning is not all there.

iPear on Dec 12 '07 at 7:53pm

I'm dating like 4 of amalia's roommates, to get them to back off.

umbluemusic on Dec 12 '07 at 7:55pm

Oh man, I am so glad I'm in an apartment. I've had a single ever since freshman year, but the past two years I've lived with friends and this is the first year I was back to the random people deal. That sucks though; I hate inconsiderate people. My freshman year roommate (when I actually shared a room) was actually pretty good except for the one night she came home wasted and puked on her hand, and then when she ran to the bathroom she touched my blanket with her puke covered hand. I was asleep, but I was pretty surprised when I woke up the next morning and saw an imprint at the foot of my bed. She washed it though.

umbluemusic on Dec 12 '07 at 7:59pm

'I'm dating like 4 of amalia's roommates, to get them to back off."'

Thats kind of you. ^_^ Are you sure you don't want to take on mine? They're actually pretty hot if you ignore the fact that they don't shower every day and the one had to get the other one to clean out her belly button because it was so disgusting.

gillianyvonne on Dec 12 '07 at 7:59pm

my first college roommate was such an idiot. she mostly stayed out of the room but would come back in super late, we shared an 8am math class that i think she showed up to 3 times. anyway, i went home for a weekend and she actually moved some other girl into our room and moved my bed and everything into a corner! this was like 3 weeks before the semester was over and i could move out. so i didn't do anything when she got back that night but when i got up for that math class in the morning i turned everything on, woke her up, and bitched her out until she cried (i didn't intend to make her cry but it was a total bonus). it felt so good.

sorry, long story. good luck with your shitty roommates.

iPear on Dec 12 '07 at 8:00pm

sure, whatever, I"m down.

jet approves on Dec 12 '07 at 8:02pm

oh my roommate always leaves her stuff on my (significantly) smaller side of the room. her boyfriend brought up a spin chair for her while i wasn't there, and i came back to find her wooden chair placed on my side of the room.

Audiovore on Dec 12 '07 at 8:09pm

How much would it cost to saran wrap a car and cover it with KY?

flourpower on Dec 12 '07 at 8:09pm

gillian -- wtf?? That is ridiculous. Who does that?? Great way of dealing with it, though. I hope she learned her lesson.

amaliaslash on Dec 12 '07 at 8:13pm

They're actually pretty hot if you ignore the fact that they don't shower every day and the one had to get the other one to clean out her belly button because it was so disgusting.

what the FUCK??

amaliaslash on Dec 12 '07 at 8:13pm

i rarely cuss, but i repeat...WHAT THE FUCK?!

umbluemusic on Dec 12 '07 at 8:14pm

"How much would it cost to saran wrap a car and cover it with KY?"

I have a membership to Costco, so at least the saran would be cheap(er).

iPear on Dec 12 '07 at 8:14pm

oh, I didn't read the belly button part.

that's kind of gross.

in a hot sort of gross sort of ... hot gross sort of hot gross gross hot way

umbluemusic on Dec 12 '07 at 8:14pm

Yeah, it was gross. I was in my room and they were in front of the sink, and the dirty belly button one was all "but I have an innie/outie. ITS HARD TO CLEEEEAN."

umbluemusic on Dec 12 '07 at 8:15pm

lol emphasis on gross.

christi104hsia on Dec 12 '07 at 8:18pm

I'm not in college yet... but yeah, thanks for warning me about college room mates. :O

Noodlegirl on Dec 12 '07 at 8:20pm

if only I had not deleted those 39538 blogs about my roommate. aha.

umbluemusic on Dec 12 '07 at 8:27pm

Aww all that wasted ranting. :( I could have used it to bolster myself against them.

cassiepaige on Dec 12 '07 at 8:30pm

I say you just beat the crap out of them.

Yes.

umbluemusic on Dec 12 '07 at 8:41pm

Maybe I'll beat them with their rotten frozen pumpkin that is sitting on the corner of our porch from the beginning of October.

I kind of like that idea Cassie. :D Thanks. It could get out some of the pent up aggression I've been feeling.

cassiepaige on Dec 12 '07 at 9:16pm

You could split the pumpkin into two equal portions and put it in the back of their closets :)

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