There is no Hell, it's just a nice thing made up for children.
- Dr. Corley

I don't like when he pulls my neck.
- Cheap Seats

I get a call on my cellphone. This is basically how it goes.
*ring* *pickup*
Jed: SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSATAN!
- The Greatest Roommate Story Ever

I just bite it
It's for the look
I don't light it
- Will Smith "Gettin' Jiggy Wit' It"

Right now it just smells like standard death.
- Mythbusters

She had enough PCP in her system to kill a small water buffalo.
- One of those crime investigating dramas...

I named him, Delicious.
- Colbert

Um... Facebook me?
Yeah.

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