Des Moines: the best city no one can pronounce EVER
of 34 votes, 21% like it
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Iowa: Boring You Since 1846
of 35 votes, 23% like it
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Yes, I am that kid from the one place
of 35 votes, 11% like it
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I only do stuff to have something to put on my Facebook
of 35 votes, 17% like it
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I'm of the apathetic political persuasion
of 35 votes, 11% like it
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I'd rather be gyrating awkwardly
of 35 votes, 20% like it
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I wish I had my body
of 56 votes, 11% like it
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I'm an assless chap.
of 52 votes, 12% like it
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I like tuxedos, and girls who can't say no.
of 51 votes, 12% like it
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Stop quoting song lyrics. Ass.
of 51 votes, 14% like it
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The blogging world's not ready for me.
of 51 votes, 10% like it
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Hey, did you hear about the thing? I heard it was sweet.
of 52 votes, 13% like it
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I like to get freaky in the afternoons.... Nap-wise.
of 51 votes, 18% like it
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Gay... or just really cool? You make the call.
of 51 votes, 10% like it
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All the great inventions were fueled by Oreos. And beer.
of 51 votes, 16% like it
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The best way to make friends is telling lies.
of 51 votes, 10% like it
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Give me a hug, I miss James Brown.
of 51 votes, 10% like it
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I have connections in the gay mafia.
of 51 votes, 24% like it
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I still don't think that's how you meant your hair to look.
of 52 votes, 33% like it
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You look good, like a barbecue tofu sandwich.
of 51 votes, 12% like it
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I'm bored, let's start a war. I call Poland!
of 51 votes, 24% like it
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I heart nuclear fallout.
of 51 votes, 18% like it
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Don't blink, you'll miss the bomb threat.
of 51 votes, 14% like it
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You missed the security breach.
of 51 votes, 16% like it
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Now serving your mom
of 51 votes, 12% like it
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Grab the extra donuts, and let's get out of here.
of 54 votes, 13% like it
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I'm so indie I only listen to music in pitches dogs can hear.
of 54 votes, 15% like it
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I'm not crazy, I'm crazy brilliant
of 54 votes, 11% like it
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Couches were never quite as comfy as they were on Big Comfy Couch
of 55 votes, 13% like it
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Will you be my Ernie?
of 54 votes, 11% like it
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I wish I had Aretha Franklin's body
of 56 votes, 9% like it
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I like wearing pajammas, and by pajammas, I mean nothing at all.
of 55 votes, 13% like it
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Do you know how hard it is not to be a bitch right now?
of 55 votes, 11% like it
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Currently recovering from my addiction to cheese
of 55 votes, 15% like it
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I fell off the wagon
of 54 votes, 11% like it
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As seen on me
of 54 votes, 22% like it
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