That Tree Isn't Going To Climb Itself
of 36 votes, 36% like it
|
I Brought The Noise, But I Forgot The Funk At Home.
of 45 votes, 22% like it
|
We Should Teach The Children That Sometimes Sharing ISN'T Caring.
of 48 votes, 27% like it
|
|
I Like Onions On My Everything.
of 56 votes, 20% like it
|
Dehydrated Party. For A Good Time, Just Add Water.
of 57 votes, 18% like it
|
Seriously, What's So Funny?
of 59 votes, 15% like it
|
|
Dates Are Only As Important As You Make Them.
of 61 votes, 15% like it
|
I'm Not Fat. I'm Just Preparing For Winter.
of 72 votes, 47% like it
|
Earthquakes Aren't My Fault.
of 52 votes, 40% like it
|
|
I Hate People That Can't Tolerate Other People.
of 46 votes, 22% like it
|
You May Think You Can, But I Know I Can.
of 63 votes, 19% like it
|
At What Point Does A Hider Become A Stowaway?
of 60 votes, 7% like it
|
|
Reduce, Reuse, Redundant
of 49 votes, 22% like it
|
Breakfast Is My Favorite Meal...That Happens In The Morning.
of 37 votes, 16% like it
|
Nicknames Seem Superfluous When Your Name Is Nick.
of 55 votes, 25% like it
|
|
Only Boring People Stay Inside The Lines.
of 66 votes, 24% like it
|
Time Is The Measurement I Despise The Most.
of 57 votes, 19% like it
|
Hide And Seek Is More Fun When Both Positions Are Filled.
of 65 votes, 32% like it
|
|
Let's Meet Again. Same Spot, Next Century.
of 50 votes, 10% like it
|
A Truck Is Just A Chore Waiting To Happen.
of 48 votes, 17% like it
|
If I Had No Teeth, My Tongue Could Be In Cheek More Often.
of 53 votes, 9% like it
|
|
If I Put It On A Leash, Is It Considered My Pet?
of 58 votes, 28% like it
|
I'd Like To Thank Winter For Making Summer Better In Contrast.
of 73 votes, 26% like it
|
Relatively Speaking, I Like My Family.
of 55 votes, 25% like it
|
|
Fun Is Relative.
of 63 votes, 19% like it
|
People Think I'm Crazy. I Tend To Agree.
of 68 votes, 24% like it
|
One Crayon Short Of A Masterpiece
of 75 votes, 21% like it
|
|
Lost In My Own Thoughts, I Decided I'd Bring A Map The Next Time.
of 67 votes, 22% like it
|
Posing Questions Is As Easy As Adding A Question Mark?
of 56 votes, 32% like it
|
I Flip For Defying Gravity.
of 72 votes, 22% like it
|
|
If Silence Is Golden, Then I'll Pay By Keeping Quiet.
of 68 votes, 28% like it
|
I've Heard Of Triceratops, But I Think The Quadceratops Is Better
of 69 votes, 23% like it
|
Cool Is A State Of Mind.
of 75 votes, 33% like it
|
|
Matter Of Fact, Everything's A Lie.
of 75 votes, 21% like it
|
Does Anyone Know Why There Are Mosquitoes?
of 61 votes, 18% like it
|
Good Or Bad, Gravity Always Keeps Me Grounded.
of 57 votes, 30% like it
|
|
I May Not Play Guitar, But I Can Pluck Your Heart Strings.
of 61 votes, 18% like it
|
Buffets Of The Mind Sound Really Tasty To The Undead.
of 51 votes, 20% like it
|
I Am The Optimist Prime. You'll Love My Transformations.
of 71 votes, 28% like it
|
|
There Might Be More Where This Came From.
of 56 votes, 29% like it
|
Do Fish Get Hiccups?
of 59 votes, 17% like it
|
I Never Decline To Recline.
of 69 votes, 25% like it
|
|
If We Build Buildings, Why Don't We House Houses?
of 58 votes, 21% like it
|
You're SO Good Looking....No, Not You. YOU!
of 56 votes, 20% like it
|
Former Class Clown
of 59 votes, 31% like it
|
|
I Will Always Look Back And Remember That Pluto Was A Planet Once
of 67 votes, 31% like it
|
Most Houses Are Tree Houses...Lumber Comes From Trees.
of 69 votes, 22% like it
|
I've Got 206 Bones To Pick With You.
of 71 votes, 38% like it
|
|
Go And Get Something For Me.
of 69 votes, 17% like it
|
I Will Not Stand Aside And Let You Be So Intolerable.
of 53 votes, 21% like it
|
Weeds Are Just Flowers That People Don't Want.
of 55 votes, 35% like it
|
|
Yesterday Will Today Again Tomorrow.
of 61 votes, 16% like it
|
Your Good Side Must Be On The Other Side.
of 76 votes, 29% like it
|
Remember When People Used To Play Outside?
of 54 votes, 44% like it
|
|
I Break Clocks Just To Kill Time.
of 57 votes, 49% like it
|
Poking Cows Is Actually Frowned Upon Most Of The Time.
of 61 votes, 20% like it
|
Either Way, You Have A Choice.
of 70 votes, 16% like it
|
|
Too Much Sleep Is An Oxymoron. Too Little Sleep Is Moronic.
of 65 votes, 20% like it
|
Sing For Your Supper, Scream For Your Dessert.
of 62 votes, 23% like it
|
Is This The Fun Part?
of 61 votes, 21% like it
|
|
When Fishing For Compliments, Make Sure You Use The Right Bait.
of 65 votes, 31% like it
|
When You Look On The Bright Side, Remember Your Sunglasses.
of 63 votes, 48% like it
|
I Just Pretend To Have An Imaginary Friend.
of 64 votes, 31% like it
|
|
Rubber Bands Are Probably More Flexible With Their Set Lists.
of 68 votes, 19% like it
|
I Have To Work To Get Money, So Work Is The Root Of All Evil.
of 71 votes, 21% like it
|
I'll Stop Looking Ahead...Tomorrow.
of 63 votes, 24% like it
|
|
I Like Italian Food So Much, I Put Pasta On My Pasta.
of 72 votes, 15% like it
|
Works Well With Others...That Are The Same As Me.
of 65 votes, 25% like it
|
Magic Markers Are Only Magic When Properly Wielded.
of 73 votes, 33% like it
|
|
I'm Not Envious, Just Jealous. Also, I'm Good At Splitting Hairs.
of 70 votes, 19% like it
|
...One Fog Machine Short Of A Good Time.
of 73 votes, 29% like it
|
Hand Me That Thing. I'm Going To Do Something Vague With It.
of 71 votes, 35% like it
|
|
Ignorance Isn't Always Bliss. Sometimes It's Just Ignorant.
of 73 votes, 41% like it
|
Who Needs A Dishwasher? Just Eat With Your Hands!
of 83 votes, 19% like it
|
I Heard Dinosaurs Just Call It Fuel.
of 60 votes, 23% like it
|
|
Oil Can Be So Crude.
of 75 votes, 39% like it
|
Everyone Knows Somebody That Knows Someone
of 71 votes, 24% like it
|
Other Ways Become Apparent, Especially When There Are Road Signs.
of 68 votes, 28% like it
|
|
Enter At Your Own Risk. Leave At Your Leisure.
of 76 votes, 25% like it
|
I Know Stuff About Things.
of 69 votes, 45% like it
|
Faith In Dog
of 65 votes, 23% like it
|
|
I May Or May Not Be The Person You Are Looking For.
of 71 votes, 34% like it
|
I Hate When People Repeat Themselves Over And Over And Over...
of 91 votes, 34% like it
|
Face Your Fears...Then Run The Other Way.
of 74 votes, 42% like it
|
|
If You Can Read This, Than Forget What My Bumper Sticker Said.
of 77 votes, 21% like it
|
...Not All Frogs Are Royalty.
of 70 votes, 44% like it
|
Show Me Your Happy Face
of 70 votes, 30% like it
|
|
There Is Nothing To Fear Except All That Scary Stuff.
of 76 votes, 46% like it
|
(on back) Scare Me. I Might Have The Hiccups.
of 67 votes, 34% like it
|
'Be Kind, Rewind' Soon Nobody Will Know What This Means
of 61 votes, 30% like it
|
|
I've Got Game. If Only I Could Remember Where The Controller Is.
of 68 votes, 35% like it
|
Every Decision Is A Roll Of The Dice When Role Playing.
of 67 votes, 28% like it
|
Space Must Be Really Clean With All That Vacuum.
of 87 votes, 43% like it
|
|
You Could Be The Popcorn To My Movie.
of 64 votes, 34% like it
|
As Much As I'd Like To, I Would Hate It If I Didn't.
of 66 votes, 24% like it
|
Any Statement Made Under This One Would Be An Understatement.
of 61 votes, 44% like it
|
|
Every Day Is Another Chance. Fill Tomorrow With Todays Wishes.
of 57 votes, 28% like it
|
Leftovers Plans Are Always Foiled.
of 64 votes, 42% like it
|
'We Need Some New Blood In Here' Said The Lungs To The Heart.
of 77 votes, 26% like it
|
|
I Know How To Make You Inquisitive.
of 67 votes, 25% like it
|
I Don't Want To Brag, So I'll Keep It To Myself.
of 69 votes, 39% like it
|
Places Are Overrated. I'm More Into Times.
of 59 votes, 32% like it
|
|
I'm Tired Of Losing Arguments With Myself.
of 53 votes, 49% like it
|
I'd Dance, But This Song Is Terrible.
of 61 votes, 28% like it
|
Fight Or Flight Would Work Better With Wings.
of 62 votes, 32% like it
|
|
Work Would Be More Fun Without All That Work.
of 68 votes, 31% like it
|
I Prefer My Fruit A Bit Off It's Rocker.
of 70 votes, 20% like it
|
Off The Beaten Path, But Somehow On The Right Track.
of 75 votes, 43% like it
|
|
What Is This? The Future Or Something?
of 77 votes, 29% like it
|
Ogres Make Terrible Tasting Bread, In My Opinion.
of 80 votes, 25% like it
|
It Can Only Get Better...Unless It Doesn't.
of 81 votes, 36% like it
|
|
Skinny Dipping Should Be Limited To People Qualified By Namesake.
of 86 votes, 23% like it
|
Sometimes I Have Trouble Deciding What To Be Picky About.
of 86 votes, 42% like it
|
Money Would Be Better If I Didn't Have To Work For It.
of 81 votes, 37% like it
|
|
I Always Use My Noodle When Eating Italian.
of 64 votes, 33% like it
|
Does My Third Arm Make Me Look Fat?
of 68 votes, 25% like it
|
Sleep Is For Boring People.
of 86 votes, 30% like it
|
|
Breaking All The Rules And Loving Every Minute.
of 80 votes, 30% like it
|
You Can't Have Everything, But I'm Gonna Try.
of 72 votes, 29% like it
|
Futility Is Pointless.
of 67 votes, 36% like it
|
|
Make Less War...And More Pillow Fights!
of 72 votes, 25% like it
|
Just For The Helvetica Of It.
of 86 votes, 35% like it
|
I'm A Bigger Showoff Than You!
of 79 votes, 27% like it
|
|
I'd Try Harder, But Nobody Likes A Showoff.
of 83 votes, 43% like it
|
Eventually Will Be Now If You Wait.
of 77 votes, 32% like it
|
Later Is The Drug Of Choice For Procrastinators.
of 73 votes, 33% like it
|
|
When On Train Tracks, Avoid The Light At The End Of The Tunnel.
of 71 votes, 31% like it
|
I Would Have Been On Time, But I Like Sleeping More.
of 63 votes, 38% like it
|
None Of You Can Exclude People Like I Can.
of 68 votes, 26% like it
|
|
It's Because Of The Tigers Blood.
of 73 votes, 19% like it
|
I Rely On Social Networks To Gather Mobs.
of 62 votes, 24% like it
|
Showered With Gifts Sounds Like It Might Hurt.
of 64 votes, 41% like it
|
|
Trouble Is The Precursor To Problems.
of 71 votes, 28% like it
|
I've Been Better, But I'll Be Fine.
of 57 votes, 32% like it
|
I'd Say It, But You Wouldn't Get It.
of 72 votes, 36% like it
|
|
Now Don't Quote Me, But I May Have Said This Before...
of 64 votes, 36% like it
|
Always Try For A Better Tomorrow Than You Had Yesterday.
of 76 votes, 33% like it
|
Time Is A Commodity Not Easily Parted With.
of 66 votes, 26% like it
|
|
Imaginary Friends Are For Real.
of 75 votes, 48% like it
|
If You're Willing, Then I'll Be Able.
of 72 votes, 26% like it
|
Don't Worry About Tomorrow. Today Is Happening Now.
of 66 votes, 35% like it
|
|
Failing To Lose Sounds Bad, But It Isn't.
of 76 votes, 32% like it
|
The Grass May Be Greener, But It's Still Just Grass.
of 71 votes, 44% like it
|
Pastime Is Better Than No Time.
of 66 votes, 30% like it
|
|
Can You Tell Me Why I Got Out Of Bed Today? 'Cause I Forgot.
of 67 votes, 27% like it
|
Real Gamers Use Controllers.
of 64 votes, 36% like it
|
Real Swingers Are At The Playground.
of 53 votes, 43% like it
|
|
I received a message in a bottle. It said 'drink less next time'.
of 71 votes, 39% like it
|
My Motherboard Needs More RAM.
of 68 votes, 19% like it
|
I'm Rubber.
You're Glue.
This Is A Metaphor.
of 77 votes, 43% like it
|
|
When The Time Comes, Perhaps I'll Own A Watch.
of 68 votes, 34% like it
|
I Wish Money Was Contagious.
of 67 votes, 48% like it
|
The Long And Short Of It...Can Be Determined With A Ruler.
of 66 votes, 35% like it
|
|
If Time Is A Commodity, I'd Like A Bank I Could Save It In.
of 71 votes, 31% like it
|
Hiding Is Only Fun When One Wants To Be Found.
of 84 votes, 43% like it
|
Winning By A Landslide Sounds Terrible.
of 73 votes, 36% like it
|
|
If Life Hands You Lemons, You Should Stop And Smell The Roses.
of 83 votes, 28% like it
|
Being All That I Can Be Seems A Bit Limited.
of 95 votes, 38% like it
|
Lucky For Us...
of 61 votes, 25% like it
|
|
But I Don't Want To.
of 49 votes, 35% like it
|
Now Will Always Be The Time.
of 53 votes, 47% like it
|
Being Modest Is My Best Attribute.
of 39 votes, 59% like it
|
|
Not To Brag, But I Am Pretty Good At Contradicting Myself.
of 33 votes, 73% like it
|
For Some Reason, Talk Of Parchment Just Makes Me Thirsty.
of 40 votes, 48% like it
|
Big Ideas Must Come From Giants.
of 41 votes, 46% like it
|
|
It's Easy To Dream A Little Dream When You're My Size. (Kids Tee)
of 37 votes, 49% like it
|
When I'm Bored I Kick Rocks.
of 35 votes, 49% like it
|
If There Were Knights And Castles, There Were Probably Dragons.
of 36 votes, 58% like it
|
|
Isn't A Toupee Just A Really Hairy Hat?
of 34 votes, 56% like it
|
If There's A Beginning, Then There's Probably An End.
of 38 votes, 47% like it
|
Bell Bottoms Just SOUND Musical.
of 36 votes, 47% like it
|
|
Tell Me Your Favorite Actor is Christopher Walken Or You're Lying
of 40 votes, 40% like it
|
I'll Just Tell Myself That I Stayed In Bed And THIS Is A Dream...
of 35 votes, 57% like it
|
You Know What Really Bugs Me..............................Waiting
of 38 votes, 39% like it
|
|
BAND TOGETHER (words pulled together with rubber band)
of 45 votes, 36% like it
|
It May Seem Pointless, But I've Only Ever Wished For More Wishes.
of 41 votes, 49% like it
|
My Other Lawnmower Is A Blowtorch.
of 41 votes, 51% like it
|
|
If I Reversed The Yin-Yang, Would Anyone Really Notice.
of 54 votes, 37% like it
|
Would It Be Too Forward To Ask You To Be My Friend?
of 49 votes, 37% like it
|
Would You Please Sign My Petition To Make Petitions Illegal?
of 47 votes, 38% like it
|
|
I'll PROVE How Much Of A Nerd I Am...With SCIENCE!
of 43 votes, 42% like it
|
Hard Enough Just Getting Out Of Bed And Now I Have To Go To Work?
of 35 votes, 57% like it
|
Isn't There Another Name For Alias?
of 42 votes, 43% like it
|
|
Earth...It May Not Be Much, But It's Home.
of 41 votes, 51% like it
|
STOP DEMANDING THINGS NOW!
of 37 votes, 49% like it
|
I Expect Your Expectations Don't Exceed Mine.
of 36 votes, 44% like it
|
|
Variety May Be The Spice Of Life, But I Prefer Pepper.
of 49 votes, 43% like it
|
Made From 100% Recycled Thoughts.
of 46 votes, 50% like it
|
January 1st Is Kind Of Like Life's Ctrl-Z
of 39 votes, 49% like it
|
|
I've Hated New York Longer Than It Was Cool To Love It.
of 32 votes, 53% like it
|
Trouble Is Easier To Find When You're Looking For It.
of 33 votes, 52% like it
|
Metaphors Are Kind Of Like...
of 42 votes, 45% like it
|
|
Whatever Doesn't Kill You Is Probably Bad If Death Is Comparable.
of 50 votes, 44% like it
|
I Prefer My Pencils Unleaded.
of 48 votes, 42% like it
|
This Year I Resolved That Next Year I Won't Make Any Resolutions.
of 49 votes, 39% like it
|
|
I Am A Pretty Funny Person, And That's No Joke.
of 40 votes, 43% like it
|
Headaches Remind Me That I Do Actually Have A Brain.
of 55 votes, 53% like it
|
How Could Such A Fun Word Like Turpentine Be Such A Chore To Use?
of 53 votes, 36% like it
|
|
I'd Resolve To Be Lighter Next Year, But I Lack The Inner Glow.
of 49 votes, 41% like it
|
Workouts Should Consist Of Pressing A Or B.
of 56 votes, 34% like it
|
Numerous Attempts, And I Still Can't Stop Talking About Numbers.
of 42 votes, 38% like it
|
|
Don't Be Alarmed, But I Think A Man Broke In And Filled Our Socks
of 49 votes, 41% like it
|
Dumb People Use The Word Dumb A Lot.
of 47 votes, 40% like it
|
If Some Guy In Red Thinks I'm Naughty, I'll Buy My Own Presents.
of 44 votes, 50% like it
|
|
Moths Are Just Butterflies Ugly Cousins.
of 41 votes, 51% like it
|
Once There Was This Man Who Talked About Himself In Past Tense...
of 42 votes, 43% like it
|
Please, Don't Beg.
of 48 votes, 38% like it
|
|
I Just Like To Read Books To Say They Are Better Than Things.
of 38 votes, 39% like it
|
Am I Thinking Out Loud Again?
of 44 votes, 48% like it
|
My Psychic Used Pinochle Instead Of Tarot. I Guess I'm Royalty?
of 30 votes, 57% like it
|
|
Silly. When Said, You Sound Like What You're Trying To Describe.
of 35 votes, 46% like it
|
Me? I Like To Start Conversations With Rhetorical Questions.
of 30 votes, 60% like it
|
It Doesn't Seem That Ed Is A Very Great Driving Teacher.
of 37 votes, 41% like it
|
|
Once Upon A Time, Somebody Started A Story That Way.
of 37 votes, 54% like it
|
If You Deck The Halls, You Might Get A Restraining Order.
of 42 votes, 57% like it
|
Flowers Will Solve Any Problems That I Have With Koopa.
of 33 votes, 55% like it
|
|
Video Games Taught Me To Cut The Grass To Find Rupees.
of 44 votes, 43% like it
|
Everyone. Go Back Inside. Work Was Canceled. Play Video Games.
of 41 votes, 46% like it
|
Cannibals Would Really Eat This Up.
of 38 votes, 47% like it
|
|
I Love That The Word Dictionary Is In The Dictionary.
of 38 votes, 47% like it
|
I Can't Tell The Difference Between Deja Vu And Acid Reflux.
of 25 votes, 68% like it
|
Day After Day, I Measure My Time In 24 Hour Increments.
of 26 votes, 62% like it
|
|
Don't Let The Fun Things From Your Past Become Unappealing.
of 35 votes, 43% like it
|
Deja Vu Is Just Life's Re-Runs.
of 30 votes, 67% like it
|
I Used To Be Funny, But Then I Broke My Humerus.
of 39 votes, 41% like it
|
|
Scholars Are Like Zombies. They're Both Looking For Bigger Brains
of 37 votes, 57% like it
|
There Can Be Only One...Until You Add Something To It.
of 47 votes, 43% like it
|
If I Tied My Shoes, It Would Imply That I Want To Get Things Done
of 34 votes, 53% like it
|
|
Oranges Wish They Rhymed With Something.
of 31 votes, 61% like it
|
Troubles With The Law? Try Not Doing That Next Time.
of 28 votes, 57% like it
|
Junk And Stuff Are Some Of My Favorite Things.
of 36 votes, 50% like it
|
|
Smoke Thinks It's Special. It Gets An Announcement If It's Near.
of 34 votes, 44% like it
|
I'm Sure I've Been Wrong...I Just Can't Remember When.
of 32 votes, 66% like it
|
I Seem To Have Misplaced My Organization.
of 41 votes, 51% like it
|
|
The End Of This Message Is Imminent.
of 32 votes, 66% like it
|
Make Sure To Take Notes On How Well I Transcribe This Dictation.
of 32 votes, 53% like it
|
Old People Make Me Feel Young.
of 30 votes, 73% like it
|
|
I Guess It Really Depends On What The Glass Is Half Full Of.
of 44 votes, 50% like it
|
You Can't Spell SNOW without NO!
of 28 votes, 61% like it
|
I Put My Pants On The Same As You. Unless You're A Girl.
of 23 votes, 70% like it
|
|
STOP PROTESTING NOW
of 26 votes, 65% like it
|
My Processor Needs More RAM.
of 26 votes, 65% like it
|
Real Thrill Seekers Hold Lightning Rods In Storms.
of 32 votes, 56% like it
|
|
Underwear Should Be Called Differently If It's The Only Thing On.
of 33 votes, 58% like it
|
To Tell You The Truth, I Was Being Sarcastic.
of 43 votes, 44% like it
|
Pi Is A Mathematicians Tasty Treat.
of 28 votes, 61% like it
|
|
Assume That Everything Will Hurt You.
of 26 votes, 77% like it
|
Sometimes I Feel Like I Am Already A Zombie And Nobody Told Me.
of 30 votes, 53% like it
|
If At First You Don't Succeed, Smash It With A Hammer.
of 34 votes, 71% like it
|
|
My Other Shirt Is A Pair Of Boxers.
of 24 votes, 58% like it
|
The Best Self-Defense Is To Keep To Yourself.
of 36 votes, 47% like it
|
Robots Have Binary Feelings Too.
of 37 votes, 59% like it
|
|
Forever Seems Like An Eternity.
of 34 votes, 53% like it
|
Lifetime Supplies Always End The Same Way.
of 33 votes, 48% like it
|
I Try To Support My Local Economy. That's Why I'm Moving To Japan
of 38 votes, 61% like it
|
|
It's OK To Pull A Few Strings When Playing An Instrument With 'Em
of 32 votes, 47% like it
|
I Used To Want It All. Now I Know It's All The Same.
of 29 votes, 62% like it
|
Metaphors Are Like Similes...Except Without The Like.
of 35 votes, 69% like it
|
|
Free Candy?
I Could Get Used To This.
of 25 votes, 64% like it
|
Bunions Will Make Any Soup Toe Jam Worthy.
of 37 votes, 43% like it
|
Invisible Ink Is For Ghost Writers
of 33 votes, 67% like it
|
|
Being Stranded On A Dessert Island Is A Really Good Typo.
of 40 votes, 68% like it
|
Don't Know What You Got Till Its Gone. Then You Know What You Had
of 38 votes, 45% like it
|
A One-Dimensional Quantity Used To Sequence Events Is Not Money.
of 35 votes, 51% like it
|
|
If It Wasn't For Sarcasm, I'd Probably Be A Mute.
of 54 votes, 44% like it
|
Future Generations Will Look Back And Call This History.
of 48 votes, 60% like it
|
I Sleep To Dream, Then Dream I'm Sleeping. Someone Wake Me Up.
of 41 votes, 49% like it
|
|
I Just Wish Ghosts Were More Down To Earth.
of 52 votes, 48% like it
|
If I Reversed The Yin-Yang, I Doubt That Anyone Would Notice.
of 46 votes, 46% like it
|
Pluto Deserves A Second Chance
of 43 votes, 47% like it
|
|
Passages Are Always Better When They Are Secret Ones.
of 59 votes, 36% like it
|
Arrested: It Happens To People Who Don't Listen To Their Mothers.
of 49 votes, 45% like it
|
I Found The Key To Success. Now, If I Could Only Find The Lock...
of 41 votes, 51% like it
|
|
Future Is A Term Used By People Who Are Bored With The Present.
of 44 votes, 50% like it
|
Nostalgic? Isn't That An Allergic Reaction To The Past?
of 44 votes, 45% like it
|
Axons Really Get On My Nerves.
of 49 votes, 53% like it
|
|
I Strive To Be An Urban Legend, But Fear I'm Only A Sub-Urban One
of 37 votes, 57% like it
|
Too Much Of A Good Thing Sounds Like A Great Thing.
of 49 votes, 63% like it
|
Since When Was The Cat's Meow A Good Thing?
of 34 votes, 56% like it
|
|
Live Life Until You Die.
of 42 votes, 45% like it
|
Make Pillow Fights, Not War.
of 43 votes, 49% like it
|
Do I Have To Repeat Myself, Or Should I Just Be Redundant?
of 41 votes, 59% like it
|
|
Your Incredulity Leaves Me In Disbelief.
of 36 votes, 53% like it
|
Cartoons Are TV Shows Too.
of 35 votes, 51% like it
|
The Color Of The Grass Depends On The Amount Of Banjo Present.
of 53 votes, 34% like it
|
|
My Social Network Has Nothing To Do With The Internet.
of 44 votes, 50% like it
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I'm Pretty Sure Any Rope Could Be A Jumping One.
of 45 votes, 44% like it
|
Notebooks Should Be More Musical.
of 47 votes, 47% like it
|
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Night Can Be Avoided By Perpetually Traveling West.
of 52 votes, 52% like it
|
Discuss The Importance of Conversation.
of 42 votes, 48% like it
|
Auras: They're All Around You.
of 50 votes, 48% like it
|
|
Pretending To Make Believe Is Still Pretending.
of 37 votes, 46% like it
|
Evolution! Two thumbs up!
of 56 votes, 50% like it
|
Horses Keep Giving Me NightMares.
of 53 votes, 38% like it
|
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Later, We Can Look Back On All This And Remember It Differently.
of 46 votes, 57% like it
|
Dreams Are For The Lazy.
of 48 votes, 40% like it
|
I Just Assume All My Friends Are Imaginary.
of 46 votes, 54% like it
|
|
Water Is The Most Liquid Asset I Can Think Of.
of 47 votes, 51% like it
|
Shirt Doubles As Conversation Starter
of 33 votes, 76% like it
|
Current Video Game Champion Of My House
of 39 votes, 54% like it
|
|
Rain Is Just Proof That Heaven Is In Need Of A Plumber.
of 44 votes, 57% like it
|
Anarchists Hate Ruled Paper.
of 47 votes, 49% like it
|
Do Girls Do Jumping Jills?
of 43 votes, 53% like it
|
|
Evolution Is Remembering That Fire Is Hot.
of 43 votes, 56% like it
|
I Don't Mean To Toot My Own Horn, But I Do Own A Trumpet.
of 54 votes, 52% like it
|
Could Somebody Please Shut That Stupid Thing Up?
of 49 votes, 39% like it
|
|
It Doesn't Matter What Your Work Schedule Is. MONDAY SUCKS!
of 52 votes, 40% like it
|
Does Your Voice Sound As Weird To You As Mine Does To Me?
of 45 votes, 44% like it
|
Has Waking Up Before The Alarm Ever Been A Good Thing?
of 43 votes, 49% like it
|
|
On To The Next Adventure.
of 44 votes, 55% like it
|
Hands On Experiences Are Up For Grabs.
of 47 votes, 57% like it
|
I Don't Trust My Computer's Keyboard. It's Pretty Shifty.
of 43 votes, 58% like it
|
|
Shouldn't They Be Called Non-Cough Drops?
of 51 votes, 49% like it
|
You Don't Know Beans About Leguminosae.
of 41 votes, 56% like it
|
Sometimes, The Wind Really Blows.
of 50 votes, 60% like it
|
|
Humor Will Endanger Serious Conversations.
of 42 votes, 55% like it
|
Slugs Fear Me...And My Salt Shaker.
of 39 votes, 49% like it
|
Raise Your Hand If You Take Instructions Well.
of 48 votes, 67% like it
|
|
Circulation Keeps Things Going (Around).
of 55 votes, 35% like it
|
...But Accessory To Murder Sounds So Fashionable.
of 48 votes, 67% like it
|
If Life Gives You Limes, It's Doing It Wrong.
of 52 votes, 54% like it
|
|
It's Easier To Break Bread When It's Gone Stale.
of 42 votes, 55% like it
|
Going Nowhere Fast Is Easy When You Have Nowhere To Go.
of 51 votes, 47% like it
|
Welcome Mats Mean Well, But They Get Stepped All Over.
of 46 votes, 52% like it
|
|
Dancing Is How I Get Down.
of 49 votes, 43% like it
|
I'd Give You Blood If We Were Compatible.
of 51 votes, 41% like it
|
I Can Only Do My Best, But That's Usually More Than Sufficient.
of 49 votes, 41% like it
|
|
Could You Direct Me To This 'Easy Street' That I Keep Hearing Of?
of 44 votes, 50% like it
|
When I Grow Up I Want To Be Young.
of 46 votes, 59% like it
|
Reach For The Stars. Don't Be Surprised If You Don't Touch Them.
of 46 votes, 54% like it
|
|
If Face Is Frowning, Give It COFFEE.
of 40 votes, 63% like it
|
I Grew Up On Large School Assignments, Known As 'The Projects'.
of 41 votes, 59% like it
|
Excited Is The New Bored.
of 44 votes, 50% like it
|
|
Pipe-Dreams Are Especially Good When You Are A Plumber.
of 51 votes, 53% like it
|
Where's The Line For The Non-Conformist Party?
of 57 votes, 42% like it
|
I'm A Big Fan Of Mechanically Operated Rotating Blades.
of 44 votes, 55% like it
|
|
Wearing Glasses Made Me Smarter. I Can See The Chalkboard Now.
of 51 votes, 63% like it
|
Vocabulary Tip Number One: Listen When Smart People Talk.
of 42 votes, 62% like it
|
The Stains On This Shirt Are Just Proof Of Murphy's Law.
of 53 votes, 42% like it
|
|
Redundant Statements Get On My Nerves And Annoy Me.
of 52 votes, 46% like it
|
Hard As Nails And Sharp As A Tack.
of 40 votes, 55% like it
|
Claustrophobic Tendencies Make Me More Of An Outdoor Person.
of 50 votes, 54% like it
|
|
I'm Pretty Sure That Marionette Is Just A Fancy Word For Puppet.
of 49 votes, 53% like it
|
Who I Want To Be / Who I Am = My Hopes And Dreams
of 48 votes, 40% like it
|
Stuff And Junk Are Some Of My Favorite Things.
of 47 votes, 49% like it
|
|
Deodorant Is Surprisingly Full Of Odor.
of 54 votes, 48% like it
|
Future Hall Of Fame Inductee
of 55 votes, 40% like it
|
Fraught With Words That People Ask The Meaning Of.
of 37 votes, 62% like it
|
|
Chinese Fire Drills Will Be Performed At Rail-Road Crossings.
of 40 votes, 60% like it
|
OCD People Keep The World In Order.
of 62 votes, 50% like it
|
Square Pegs Fit In Round Holes, If They're At Least Twice As Big.
of 57 votes, 37% like it
|
|
Will Drive For Coffee.
of 45 votes, 53% like it
|
Worn Thin, Yet Not Blown Away.
of 39 votes, 54% like it
|
I'm Going To Live Life Until It Kills Me.
of 39 votes, 64% like it
|
|
Accessory To Murder? I Didn't Know Murder Was So Fashionable.
of 45 votes, 69% like it
|
Old MacDonald Had A Cow. Someone Should Calm Him Down.
of 39 votes, 79% like it
|
You Must Be A Magician, Because Nobody Else Would Wear That.
of 36 votes, 58% like it
|
|
Reaching For The Stars Can Get You Arrested In Hollywood.
of 60 votes, 60% like it
|
Earthquakes: They're No Fault Of Mine.
of 56 votes, 46% like it
|
Makes The World Go Round And The Root Of All Evil? Think About It
of 48 votes, 44% like it
|
|
Breathing Underwater Is Just As Easy As Breathing In Space.
of 62 votes, 50% like it
|
Think About Your Thought Process Before You Think Next Time.
of 42 votes, 57% like it
|
Gravity...It's Keeping You Down.
of 51 votes, 67% like it
|
|
Gravity...It's All Around You.
of 46 votes, 54% like it
|
A Thirst For Knowledge Is Best Quenched With Books.
of 46 votes, 70% like it
|
My Onomatopoeia Goes POW!
of 56 votes, 52% like it
|
|
Hunt And Peck....Not Just For The Birds Anymore.
of 54 votes, 41% like it
|
Shake Off Your Troubles: Do the Hokey-Pokey.
of 57 votes, 58% like it
|
Would It Be Ok To Call A Midget Psychologist A Shrank?
of 46 votes, 54% like it
|
|
It's Fun To Make Fun.
of 50 votes, 56% like it
|
I Bet You're Important In Your Dreams, At Least...
of 44 votes, 48% like it
|
Centuries Ago, People Counted By Less Than 100.
of 52 votes, 54% like it
|
|
What's The Limit On Unlimited?
of 56 votes, 50% like it
|
Lines Are Meant To Be Crossed.
of 57 votes, 53% like it
|
I'm Not That Smart, But My Phone Is.
of 55 votes, 67% like it
|
|
It Takes A Village To Be Less Than A City.
of 49 votes, 53% like it
|
Comparisons Are Made In Haste If One Lacks A Mirror.
of 43 votes, 63% like it
|
I Personally Think It's Kind Of Self Centered. But That's Just Me
of 52 votes, 60% like it
|
|
Life Is Just A Big Game Of Red Light - Green Light.
of 54 votes, 57% like it
|
I Don't Just Kill Time, I Murder It Dead.
of 55 votes, 56% like it
|
I Found The Fountain Of Youth, But I Can't Remember Where It Is.
of 61 votes, 44% like it
|
|
I Don't Not Use Double Negatives.
of 60 votes, 48% like it
|
Time Is Of The Essence, But What Is The Essence Of Time?
of 48 votes, 50% like it
|
Forever Isn't That Long...If You Don't Think About It.
of 46 votes, 65% like it
|
|
I Go To Museums To Make Me Feel Young.
of 47 votes, 60% like it
|
Who's In Charge Of The People In Charge?
of 46 votes, 61% like it
|
Goals Are Only Glorified Pipe-Dreams.
of 61 votes, 36% like it
|
|
Lightning Is Just Proof That Heaven Is In Need Of An Electrician.
of 58 votes, 57% like it
|
HUMOUROUS
of 58 votes, 45% like it
|
What Does It Take To Make A Question?
of 58 votes, 40% like it
|
|
Movie Scripts Get Me Reeling.
of 53 votes, 53% like it
|
Ostriches Aspire To Be Big Bird.
of 50 votes, 44% like it
|
Professional Lego Demolition Team.
of 51 votes, 63% like it
|
|
You Had Me At The Well Known Movie Quote.
of 51 votes, 71% like it
|
A Bad Influence On Others.
of 44 votes, 68% like it
|
Sunday Drivers Would See More If They Drove Faster.
of 56 votes, 48% like it
|
|
I don't know exactly where I stand on being neutral.
of 62 votes, 60% like it
|
Magic Markers Are Only As Good As The Magician Wielding Them.
of 52 votes, 69% like it
|
I Have A Ringtone For My Ringtone.
of 60 votes, 38% like it
|
|
I'm Not Gay. I'm Just Wearing A Rainbow.
of 50 votes, 58% like it
|
I Got Cauliflower Ear From Hearing Why Vegetarians Are Better.
of 66 votes, 36% like it
|
Voted Most Likely To...
of 47 votes, 49% like it
|
|
I Wish My Pie Went On Forever And I Could Have Pi A La Mode.
of 59 votes, 47% like it
|
Necessary? No. Funny? Yes!
of 57 votes, 44% like it
|
I Wonder Why Everyone Always Has Their Yard For Sale?
of 53 votes, 45% like it
|
|
Medicine Should Be Taken When Laughter Falls Short.
of 52 votes, 52% like it
|
My Dad's Better Than Your Dad.
of 51 votes, 45% like it
|
Nursery School Had Nothing To Do With Plants.
of 56 votes, 45% like it
|
|
Partying Too Hard Is An Oxymoron.
of 53 votes, 47% like it
|
I Aspire To Be Everything You Perceive Me To Be.
of 58 votes, 48% like it
|
Movies Involve Less Movement Than Their Name Implies.
of 62 votes, 37% like it
|
|
I Went To Collage, But I Only Learned How To Glue Stuff Together.
of 62 votes, 60% like it
|
Years Of Measuring Time Will Make One Feel Old.
of 54 votes, 41% like it
|
I Think A Rainbow Might Actually Taste Like Refracted Light.
of 63 votes, 73% like it
|
|
It's Not A Problem. It's An Obstacle In Life's Amusement Park.
of 56 votes, 55% like it
|
How Common Have You Found Courtesy To Be?
of 57 votes, 56% like it
|
White Is The New Absence Of Color.
of 53 votes, 66% like it
|
|
I Keep Trying To Lose Weight, But It Always Finds Me.
of 57 votes, 63% like it
|
Time Travel Is Relative.
of 56 votes, 55% like it
|
Time Travel Is The Oldest Trick In The Book.
of 54 votes, 46% like it
|
|
Criminals Should Just Try Harder At Not Getting Caught.
of 59 votes, 37% like it
|
Here...I Got You This NOTHING.
of 49 votes, 39% like it
|
Alternatives Give Me Too Many Options.
of 51 votes, 59% like it
|
|
Enough With The Limits Already.
of 52 votes, 35% like it
|
Call Them Classics, But I Call Them Unplayable On Current Medium.
of 53 votes, 49% like it
|
I'm As Cultured As My Yogurt.
of 50 votes, 48% like it
|
|
I'll Quit Tomorrow.
of 54 votes, 43% like it
|
Twizzlers Have Too Interesting A Name For Red Flavored Plastic.
of 44 votes, 50% like it
|
Zombies Will Be The Undeath Of Me.
of 58 votes, 71% like it
|
|
Fresh Out Of Clever Things To Say.
of 58 votes, 38% like it
|
What Kind Of Things Do Skeletons Keep In Their Closets?
of 52 votes, 58% like it
|
My Two Tickets To Paradise Better Include A Cheeseburger.
of 59 votes, 49% like it
|
|
More Hike, Less Hitch.
of 46 votes, 48% like it
|
When I'm Old, I Will NOT Wear Purple...EVER!
of 48 votes, 46% like it
|
People Seem To Be Less Human These Days.
of 59 votes, 54% like it
|
|
Forget Military Presence. Lets Just Surround The Country With Oil
of 54 votes, 39% like it
|
Rotten Tomatoes? Throw ROCKS If You Really Don't Like Something.
of 60 votes, 40% like it
|
Novel Ideas Will Be Reserved For People Who Read.
of 64 votes, 52% like it
|
|
Time: It's All Around Us, But We Never Have Enough.
of 53 votes, 51% like it
|
I Am Contractually Obligated To Be This Cool.
of 64 votes, 64% like it
|
I Fell In Love Once...But Then I Ate All The Bacon.
of 49 votes, 53% like it
|
|
Win Or Lose, It's Still A Competition To Someone.
of 51 votes, 49% like it
|
What's The Medical Term For Disgusting?
of 65 votes, 37% like it
|
I Can Burp The Alphabet.
of 56 votes, 38% like it
|
|
Out To Lunch To Wash My Hair With My Excuses...
of 52 votes, 42% like it
|
(Pretend You Didn't Read This)
of 59 votes, 56% like it
|
I Have A Learner's Permit To Ill.
of 59 votes, 36% like it
|
|
Food Is Always Better In Cake Form.
of 69 votes, 55% like it
|
Never Underestimate The Power Of A Smile.
of 50 votes, 52% like it
|
Meal Time: Brought To You By Hunger.
of 46 votes, 59% like it
|
|
Responsibility Should Be Used Responsibly.
of 60 votes, 65% like it
|
My Mom's The Best. Without Her, There Would Be No Me!
of 56 votes, 46% like it
|
I Still Think That Burps And Farts Are Funny.
of 53 votes, 47% like it
|
|
Beavers wood will taste like lunch to Termites.
of 65 votes, 38% like it
|
So Much For Staying In Bed.
of 67 votes, 55% like it
|
I Might Be PRETENDING To Not Hear You Because Of My Headphones...
of 55 votes, 56% like it
|
|
Glow In The Dark. Brought To You By Sunset.
of 48 votes, 56% like it
|
Zombies Broke The Food Chain.
of 71 votes, 68% like it
|
Spring Is The Season That Slinky's Look Forward To.
of 53 votes, 51% like it
|
|
Money Is Tight. Maybe The Economy Should Loosen Up.
of 55 votes, 62% like it
|
It Could Use A Little More Sarcasm.
of 63 votes, 57% like it
|
Pal, You've Got Another Degrading Nickname Coming!
of 61 votes, 43% like it
|
|
Weeks Should Have A Stronger Name...Like PUNCH!
of 58 votes, 47% like it
|
Together, Our Powers Will Be Equally Insignificant.
of 66 votes, 61% like it
|
Back When I Was A Kid, My Parents Stretched The Truth Too.
of 47 votes, 62% like it
|
|
I Heard Your Mom's A Real Beach. Is Her Name Sandy?
of 50 votes, 42% like it
|
'Best Try' Is A Term That Losers Use.
of 50 votes, 56% like it
|
Periods Will End This...
of 52 votes, 42% like it
|
|
Failing To Lose Sounds Bad, But It's Not.
of 51 votes, 69% like it
|
I made what's either an ash tray or a mug for you in art class.
of 62 votes, 71% like it
|
I Forget What It Was You Were Supposed To Remind Me About.
of 55 votes, 55% like it
|
|
A Rose Is Like Life. I'm No Good At Analogies, So I Can't Explain
of 61 votes, 49% like it
|
Lamp Lesson #1: If You're Always On, You'll Eventually Burn Out.
of 61 votes, 57% like it
|
Why Do Today What You Aren't Planning On Doing Later?
of 55 votes, 62% like it
|
|
Despite Their Name, Snickers Take Candy SERIOUSLY!
of 65 votes, 38% like it
|
Lost: TIME MACHINE! Reward: Free Trip...Just Name The Time.
of 58 votes, 47% like it
|
Save It For The Piggy Bank.
of 48 votes, 46% like it
|
|
Next Time, I'll Pretend There Is No Next Time.
of 61 votes, 44% like it
|
Feet: I Support Them Because They Support Me.
of 71 votes, 59% like it
|
Got Some Time On Your Hands? At Least You'll Never Need A Watch!
of 50 votes, 46% like it
|
|
Should I Be More Worried About The Imminent Zombie Uprising?
of 57 votes, 54% like it
|
I Look Forward To The Future, Because I Can't Look Back At It.
of 61 votes, 64% like it
|
Content With Just Being.
of 51 votes, 55% like it
|
|
Quit Telling Me Lies And Calling Them Fiction.
of 55 votes, 45% like it
|
Pay The Piper, If That's What You're In To, An You Owe Him Money.
of 43 votes, 51% like it
|
So, What's The Deal With Rhetorical Questions?
of 69 votes, 59% like it
|
|
Educated Idiots Make The Schools Look Bad.
of 55 votes, 56% like it
|
Normally, I Wouldn't Make Such Broad Statements.
of 49 votes, 69% like it
|
Fast Is Something I Have In Common With Turtles.
of 57 votes, 70% like it
|
|
Don't Under Estimate The Power Of A Contraction.
of 70 votes, 37% like it
|
Choose Your Own Adventure. Not Just A Book At The Library Anymore
of 74 votes, 42% like it
|
Is This The Forever I Keep Hearing About?
of 73 votes, 41% like it
|
|
Groups Often Lead To Groupies.
of 57 votes, 51% like it
|
Alone, Together...A Pleasant Oxymoron.
of 54 votes, 46% like it
|
If You're Always In The Spotlight, When Will You Be Starstruck?
of 51 votes, 45% like it
|
|
Shadows Are Too Shady To Be Trusted.
of 66 votes, 65% like it
|
Spring Time Must Be A Slinky's Favorite Time.
of 67 votes, 58% like it
|
World Peace...Sometimes I Think I'd Kill For It.
of 88 votes, 72% like it
|
|
I'm A Kleptomaniac. Do You Have Something I Can Take For It?
of 79 votes, 65% like it
|
French Is A Prefix That Makes Things Sound Better Than They Are.
of 66 votes, 45% like it
|
People Who Say Piece Of Cake Disappoint Me With A Lack Of Dessert
of 81 votes, 54% like it
|
|
I'm Half Tempted To Be Inconclusive.
of 66 votes, 52% like it
|
Interjections Shall Be Reserved For Those Who Understand.
of 57 votes, 47% like it
|
All I Need To Know About Birds, I Learned From Alfred Hitchcock.
of 68 votes, 59% like it
|
|
Anyway Is No Way's Optimistic Cousin.
of 80 votes, 56% like it
|
If Coffee Didn't Exist, Then I Would Invent It.
of 58 votes, 45% like it
|
Swordfish: The Deadliest Fish (Name) Ever.
of 69 votes, 49% like it
|
|
Wake Up! You've Got Coffee To Drink.
of 64 votes, 45% like it
|
So Many Games, So Little Time.
of 68 votes, 44% like it
|
Logic Doesn't Take Chances. So It's A Good Thing I'm Not Logical.
of 57 votes, 44% like it
|
|
Nothing Bugs Me More Than A Dwarf Planet Posing As A Real Planet.
of 76 votes, 62% like it
|
Pluto First. We'll Get Rid Of The Other Planets Soon Enough.
of 71 votes, 61% like it
|
Cavemen Really Knew How To Go Clubbing.
of 67 votes, 73% like it
|
|
Obligatory Political Endorsement Here.
of 58 votes, 40% like it
|
Fun Is That Thing Your Parents Don't Let You Have.
of 64 votes, 52% like it
|
I Heard Liberace Collected T-Shirts.
of 53 votes, 40% like it
|
|
Board Games Are Only Fun When You're Bored.
of 67 votes, 45% like it
|
Why Is Something Described As Fishy When It's Not A Fish?
of 52 votes, 54% like it
|
Seismologists are hooked on crack.
of 62 votes, 76% like it
|
|
Reality...I Like Mine With More Fantasy.
of 68 votes, 65% like it
|
Mainstream? I Prefer The Stream Less Traveled.
of 71 votes, 52% like it
|
I Mistook A Cricket For My Conscience. It Took Me To A Dark Place
of 67 votes, 64% like it
|
|
I'd Tower Over You, If I Was Only Taller.
of 58 votes, 48% like it
|
No, I'm Only Human, But I Can See Where One Would Be Confused.
of 70 votes, 60% like it
|
Brought To You Today By The Letters F And T And By The Number 12.
of 55 votes, 40% like it
|
|
This Is The Future. How Do You Know I'm Not A Computer?
of 62 votes, 56% like it
|
Fun Is Something Your Parents Don't Have.
of 58 votes, 62% like it
|
Guess That Means I Need New Underpants.
of 58 votes, 43% like it
|
|
For Pete's sake! I have no idea who Pete is.
of 66 votes, 48% like it
|
My Shadow Puppets Can Shadow Box.
of 59 votes, 42% like it
|
Spelling "Bee" Doesn't Sound That Hard.
of 64 votes, 66% like it
|
|
I Just Memed In My Pants.
of 53 votes, 42% like it
|
At Least It's Not 3KCM.
of 63 votes, 44% like it
|
I'd Tower Over You, If I Was Only Taller...Or If You Were Shorter
of 56 votes, 43% like it
|
|
So, we meet again. At least this time I have a shirt on.
of 53 votes, 62% like it
|
Regulation Is Just Another Word For Rule...No Thanks.
of 69 votes, 42% like it
|
I've Got Two Left Feet And I'm All Hands. Who Wants To Dance?
of 56 votes, 59% like it
|
|
I'm Going To Pretend Like This Is Make Believe.
of 60 votes, 57% like it
|
I Can Shake A Stick At More Stuff Than You Can Shake A Stick At.
of 63 votes, 54% like it
|
Life Is Like A Final Exam You Didn't Study For.
of 69 votes, 77% like it
|
|
Leaning Is Subjective To Your Perspective.
of 56 votes, 48% like it
|
Like A Giant, Only Regular Size.
of 59 votes, 64% like it
|
Vegetarian Vampires Use Their Fangs To Juice Blood Oranges.
of 60 votes, 57% like it
|
|
My Love For New York Is Subjective.
of 60 votes, 55% like it
|
If Life Isn't A Game, Then Why Did I See It On Sale At The Store?
of 64 votes, 61% like it
|
Directions Are For Girls...And Guys That Don't Know The Way.
of 65 votes, 45% like it
|
|
I'm Not Ignoring You...I Just Thought It Was Rhetorical.
of 71 votes, 61% like it
|
I Don't Believe In The Platypus.
of 67 votes, 45% like it
|
What Did Pluto Ever Do To Us?
of 73 votes, 70% like it
|
|
Sasquatch May Have Big Feet, But His Carbon One Is Minuscule.
of 66 votes, 48% like it
|
When We Reach The End, Could Someone Remember To Press Rewind?
of 72 votes, 68% like it
|
Glasses Only Make You Smarter If You Couldn't See The Chalkboard.
of 62 votes, 60% like it
|
|
The Petrified Forest Has Nothing To Be Scared Of.
of 60 votes, 65% like it
|
Situations Can Be Avoided By Not Doing Anything.
of 72 votes, 79% like it
|
We Will Get Along Fine If You Remember Just One Thing: I Win.
of 62 votes, 56% like it
|
|
Hindsight: I Don't Look Forward To It.
of 62 votes, 73% like it
|
I Am Looking Forward To...Whatever Is Over There In Front Of Me.
of 59 votes, 61% like it
|
Do I Smell Coffee?
of 57 votes, 60% like it
|
|
Don't Hound Me...Especially If You're Not A Dog.
of 53 votes, 53% like it
|
Remember That Flashback You Just Had?
of 59 votes, 59% like it
|
I'd Kill For Some Peace.
of 71 votes, 58% like it
|
|
If At First You Don't Succeed, Use Cheat Codes.
of 58 votes, 62% like it
|
If The World Is A Playground, Then Why Am I Stuck In The Sandbox?
of 60 votes, 67% like it
|
Why do people have to Google Earth. You can look at it normally.
of 51 votes, 57% like it
|
|
Hypothetically Speaking, This Statement Could Be False.
of 67 votes, 73% like it
|
The Ironic Thing Is...I Don't Know How To Read.
of 56 votes, 54% like it
|
Hard-Boiled Eggs Really Get Themselves Into Hot Water.
of 53 votes, 47% like it
|
|
I'm So Tired Of Not Getting Enough Sleep.
of 73 votes, 59% like it
|
I'd Prefer NOT To Act My Age, But Thanks For Caring.
of 76 votes, 58% like it
|
I (HEART) Pictorial Depictions Of Words.
of 72 votes, 65% like it
|
|
Mornings Are Why Coffee Was Invented.
of 59 votes, 63% like it
|
Alliterative Analogies Are As Accurate As Asinine Assumptions.
of 60 votes, 67% like it
|
If Life Gives You Kumquats, It's Getting The Analogy Wrong.
of 73 votes, 71% like it
|
|
I Tease House Pets.
of 58 votes, 43% like it
|
A Hungry Hippo Would Want Something More Substantial Than Marbles
of 81 votes, 79% like it
|
*Made From Recycled Paper* (I Hope It Doesn't Rain)
of 70 votes, 60% like it
|
|
(on back) Just Trying To Stay Ahead Of The Weather.
of 56 votes, 57% like it
|
I Have A One Track Mind, But My Train Of Thought Is Derailed.
of 68 votes, 71% like it
|
This Decade, I'm Going To Stop Counting By Tens.
of 55 votes, 55% like it
|
|
Guess Who's Being Inquisitive.
of 63 votes, 65% like it
|
Right Turns Make Left Ones Feel Wrong.
of 64 votes, 66% like it
|
Some Genius Can't Be Expressed With Words. (I Can't Read Anyways)
of 56 votes, 50% like it
|
|
Heat-Vision Makes It Hard To Shop In The Frozen Food Section.
of 62 votes, 56% like it
|
It might be a stretch, but are you a contortionist?
of 59 votes, 63% like it
|
Bling Is Obviously Just An Excuse To Cross-Dress.
of 60 votes, 53% like it
|
|
I Invariably Always Repeat Myself.
of 69 votes, 51% like it
|
This Is My Best Striped Shirt. (BELT PRINTED FOR STRIPYNESS)
of 63 votes, 40% like it
|
I'd Try Harder, But I Just Don't Care.
of 73 votes, 58% like it
|
|
Tomorrow Would Be Better If It Was Today.
of 67 votes, 57% like it
|
I Resolved Long Ago That I Wouldn't Make Any Resolutions.
of 66 votes, 70% like it
|
Pineapple tastes nothing like it's compound name implies.
of 73 votes, 64% like it
|
|
Maybe It's Just Cloudy Because God Thinks You Need A Shower.
of 62 votes, 65% like it
|
Up With Bathophobia, Down With Acrophobia.
of 51 votes, 49% like it
|
Later Is A Lie That Your Parents Made Up To Keep You Quiet.
of 70 votes, 70% like it
|
|
Lions Need To Know That Pride Is A Hell-Worthy Sin.
of 60 votes, 58% like it
|
My favorite meal is the one that's coming next.
of 58 votes, 55% like it
|
Later Will Be Now Eventually.
of 61 votes, 48% like it
|
|
Despite Popular Belief, Saying 'Trust Me' Does Not Gain My Trust.
of 61 votes, 61% like it
|
Don't Let Your Yesterday Ruin My Today.
of 69 votes, 59% like it
|
Real Gamers Do It Sitting Down.
of 57 votes, 49% like it
|
|
It's not talking to yourself if you pretend socks are puppets.
of 58 votes, 60% like it
|
I'd Be More Cynical, But I Just Don't Care.
of 77 votes, 53% like it
|
Last Time I Checked It Was Still Today.
of 62 votes, 44% like it
|
|
Be that as it may, um, I just like to say Be that as it may.
of 55 votes, 44% like it
|
Hey You. Quit Making General Statements.
of 65 votes, 52% like it
|
Ice is just waters evil cousin.
of 61 votes, 57% like it
|
|
Mind Your P's And Q's...And The Other Letters While You're At It.
of 62 votes, 55% like it
|
Give Me Credit...I'll Take Interest And Appreciate It.
of 74 votes, 59% like it
|
So, What's The Big Deal About Peace?
of 52 votes, 56% like it
|
|
Forever Is Longer Than That.
of 57 votes, 67% like it
|
I'd Ask For World Peace, But No One Would Appreciate It.
of 58 votes, 62% like it
|
At Least There's Minimalism.
of 74 votes, 78% like it
|
|
Maybe I should be more decisive?
of 64 votes, 69% like it
|
For My Next Stunt, I Will Attempt To STAY ALIVE!
of 66 votes, 62% like it
|
Either Green With Envy, Inexperience, Or It's St. Patrick's Day.
of 71 votes, 51% like it
|
|
Red Rover, Red Rover, Send A Better Game On Over.
of 59 votes, 64% like it
|
The Grass Just Seems Greener On The Other Side Because It's Fake.
of 67 votes, 70% like it
|
I'd say Yankee Doodle was a bit confused when it came to Macaroni
of 67 votes, 54% like it
|
|
I Don't Know How Much Better Butter Will Improve My Bitter Batter
of 60 votes, 50% like it
|
My Insignificance Is Beyond Me.
of 65 votes, 54% like it
|
Not Naughty, Not Nice...Just Eligible For Gifts.
of 69 votes, 62% like it
|
|
Is there a list for people who were neither naughty or nice?
of 60 votes, 67% like it
|
Birds of pray sound to RELIGIOUS!
of 63 votes, 44% like it
|
Live Life, Even If It Kills You.
of 70 votes, 69% like it
|
|
Rumors aren't true unless they are.
of 64 votes, 63% like it
|
I Trust My Criticisms Are Taken The Right Way.
of 68 votes, 51% like it
|
Someone else has already done it.
of 66 votes, 58% like it
|
|
Thanksgiving is a bad day to be a Turkey.
of 57 votes, 56% like it
|
I Would Hate To Be A Vegetarian On Thanksgiving.
of 67 votes, 45% like it
|
Plan first...Decipher later.
of 66 votes, 44% like it
|
|
Of all the shirts, can you believe THIS is the one I picked?!
of 55 votes, 56% like it
|
It's good Karma to follow The Golden Rule.
of 65 votes, 60% like it
|
I (BLANK) (BLANK) Mad Libs.
of 73 votes, 66% like it
|
|
With A Name Like Dodo, I Think I'd Want To Be Extinct Too.
of 75 votes, 59% like it
|
Move out of the way. I'm about to do something CRAZY!
of 63 votes, 49% like it
|
Santa Likes Me More Than You.
of 72 votes, 53% like it
|
|
FACT: Something I Agree With You About
Opinion: Everything Else
of 64 votes, 63% like it
|
Conversation is pointless when you have a shirt like THIS!
of 68 votes, 53% like it
|
100% Organic. Yes, nothing but organs in me!
of 66 votes, 65% like it
|
|
My Fingers Agree With You But My Thumbs Are Opposed.
of 84 votes, 63% like it
|
The day after tomorrow I'll still be looking ahead.
of 70 votes, 53% like it
|
Do your best...or at least make it look like you are.
of 71 votes, 61% like it
|
|
Ducks Fear Me...And My Neon Orange Gun.
of 58 votes, 57% like it
|
Man isn't meant to dream about dreaming.
of 63 votes, 43% like it
|
Being Down To Earth Seems Like A Drag.
of 59 votes, 63% like it
|
|
Yesterday Was Today Once. I Know, I Was There.
of 59 votes, 76% like it
|
(near the bottom of shirt) Low Is Subjective.
of 54 votes, 57% like it
|
I've Never Found A Cookie I Didn't Like.
of 56 votes, 55% like it
|
|
There wouldn't exist without here.
of 69 votes, 51% like it
|
Sea Horses Don't Live Up To Their Name.
of 64 votes, 52% like it
|
Club Sandwiches Sound Too Exclusive.
of 66 votes, 67% like it
|
|
Tops Make The World Go Round.
of 56 votes, 55% like it
|
Anyone calls me Pumpkin and they'll get SQUASHED!
of 61 votes, 46% like it
|
Close To The Edge Is Not Over The Line.
of 66 votes, 52% like it
|
|
Will Wear Ridiculous Costume For Candy
of 74 votes, 77% like it
|
Schizophrenia would be an opportunity to make some new friends.
of 75 votes, 73% like it
|
Any Holiday that involves FREE CANDY is a good one, in my book!
of 64 votes, 53% like it
|
|
Idiots Say The Darnedest Things.
of 69 votes, 55% like it
|
Keeping Skeletons In Closets Is Just Asking For A Haunting.
of 59 votes, 64% like it
|
Does anyone remember how I got here?
of 63 votes, 62% like it
|
|
Love is an enigma wrapped in mystery...OK OK, it doesn't exist!
of 59 votes, 51% like it
|
Life: Live It Until You Die From It.
of 58 votes, 52% like it
|
I wonder what force keeps old people orbiting inside the Mall?
of 60 votes, 57% like it
|
|
Generally, I try to be more specific.
of 73 votes, 77% like it
|
Only You Can Help Prevent The Zombie Uprising. Cremate The Dead.
of 59 votes, 63% like it
|
Recipes for disaster are kept in the Anarchist Cookbook.
of 64 votes, 67% like it
|
|
This chance encounter lacks sustainability.
of 56 votes, 70% like it
|
It's Funny How Everyone's So Serious.
of 57 votes, 53% like it
|
Pumpkin Pie Tastes Better If You've Made It From Jack-O-Lanterns.
of 56 votes, 66% like it
|
|
I Am (Virtually) More Popular Than You.
of 56 votes, 63% like it
|
Thanksgiving would be better with FIREWORKS!
of 59 votes, 46% like it
|
I hear Hindsight is 20/20. Sometimes I think mine needs glasses.
of 64 votes, 70% like it
|
|
Stealing will get you everything but nobody has everything.
of 51 votes, 51% like it
|
I wanted to see the truth, but I had my Skepticals on.
of 56 votes, 66% like it
|
I may look like a Pauper, but I feel like a Prince.
of 49 votes, 51% like it
|
|
I'd reboot my computer, but I should have quit with the 1st boot.
of 56 votes, 46% like it
|
I'm pretty sure Corn Syrup is classified as a Vegetable...RIGHT?
of 55 votes, 49% like it
|
This is all part of my triumphant comeback.
of 74 votes, 64% like it
|
|
You Say Fate, I Say Serendipity.Let's Call The Whole Thing CHANCE
of 53 votes, 57% like it
|
In Spite Of Everything, I Don't Hate Anything.
of 54 votes, 54% like it
|
My Boss Is A Real Piece Of Work.
of 54 votes, 65% like it
|
|
Vegetarians are scared of the dark (Meat).
of 62 votes, 50% like it
|
When It Comes To Baking, I Take The Cake.
of 63 votes, 65% like it
|
In Spite Of Everything, I Don't Hold Grudges Against Anything.
of 52 votes, 50% like it
|
|
Science Fiction Is Still Science
of 60 votes, 73% like it
|
Surviving nuclear submarine attacks, suburban homeowners thrive.
of 50 votes, 52% like it
|
I'm not conceited, but I am right most of the time.
of 62 votes, 60% like it
|
|
No Solicitation Without Decapitation
of 54 votes, 41% like it
|
My other Motorcycle is less motorized...OK, it's a BIKE!
of 58 votes, 55% like it
|
Fight The Power: Turn It Off
of 71 votes, 76% like it
|
|
I hear a lot about change, but I can't make heads or tails of it.
of 65 votes, 54% like it
|
They should make Boxing include more boxes.
of 59 votes, 58% like it
|
Would it really be a bad thing if Mosquitoes were extinct?
of 53 votes, 53% like it
|
|
I am the one, the ONLY...ME!
of 53 votes, 45% like it
|
My grandpa has a hard time respecting his elders.
of 61 votes, 52% like it
|
I have half a mind to donate my Brain to science.
of 70 votes, 70% like it
|
|
No Guts, No Glory. But also, no Internal Organs.
of 68 votes, 65% like it
|
If I lived in a Garbage Can, I'd be a Grouch too!
of 70 votes, 54% like it
|
Not the tarpest shool in the head.
of 58 votes, 66% like it
|
|
You don't need to know the lyrics to sing along...but it helps.
of 65 votes, 68% like it
|
Who said I can't Multitask? (what was I doing before this?)
of 66 votes, 61% like it
|
The Sandbox Makes Me Feel Like Dirt.
of 62 votes, 61% like it
|
|
The Frog Prince wants to be in the Relay, but he lacks the lungs.
of 47 votes, 51% like it
|
I like cartoons when they are DRAWN OUT!
of 55 votes, 47% like it
|
What's so SIGNIFICANT about your OTHER?
of 55 votes, 71% like it
|
|
I'm usually a good Belly-Dancer after I eat SPICY FOOD!
of 51 votes, 47% like it
|
Eleventy billion times threve doesn't make CENTS!
of 59 votes, 39% like it
|
If I had a Taser, it would have been confiscated by now.
of 54 votes, 59% like it
|
|
This isn't a Flashback. My shirt's always hazy around the edges.
of 62 votes, 60% like it
|
My suitcase has never contained a SUIT.
of 62 votes, 44% like it
|
Do you have scars to match the holes or did you buy 'em that way?
of 53 votes, 60% like it
|
|
I was an Elephant for Halloween, but I forgot what it was like.
of 59 votes, 51% like it
|
Currently working on my Autobiography...
of 58 votes, 59% like it
|
I'm pretty sure he didn't invent the Internet.
of 57 votes, 46% like it
|
|
The last Psychic I saw was one Tarot Card shy of a full deck.
of 61 votes, 54% like it
|
I remember when this shirt was in style. (PRINTED IN NEON)
of 63 votes, 57% like it
|
Time-Zones? They're just another Government Conspiracy.
of 62 votes, 56% like it
|
|
Just wondering why anyone would be GREEN with envy?
of 56 votes, 45% like it
|
The (Barometric) Pressure Is Getting To Me.
of 64 votes, 50% like it
|
If it was 1987, this would be Neon and Acid-Washed.
of 71 votes, 55% like it
|
|
I remember when things were cool.
of 64 votes, 66% like it
|
I made it to an Oasis, only to find it was a Mirage.
of 68 votes, 43% like it
|
My Dentist Knows The Drill.
of 75 votes, 67% like it
|
|
The Electric Company used to be educational, now it's just a bill
of 54 votes, 57% like it
|
Silent Alarms don't SOUND like a good idea to me!
of 60 votes, 57% like it
|
Onions always make me cry at weddings.
of 53 votes, 55% like it
|
|
I need more Calcium in my diet like I need softer bones.
of 61 votes, 49% like it
|
I am the Bridge Jumping Friend that your Parents warned you about
of 78 votes, 82% like it
|
Life was simpler when video game controllers had just A or B.
of 77 votes, 75% like it
|
|
This might be an attempt at fishing for a compliment.
of 65 votes, 74% like it
|
Centaur: Part Human, Part Horse...ALL AWESOME!
of 59 votes, 59% like it
|
I look back on school with fond memories...of RECESS!
of 66 votes, 67% like it
|
|
Windy cities recycle energy swiftly.
of 52 votes, 62% like it
|
I remember when Nostalgia was just a thing of the past.
of 70 votes, 63% like it
|
Could a Schizophrenic be considered a One-Man Gang?
of 55 votes, 67% like it
|
|
I usually build my cities in a day, but, when in Rome.
of 70 votes, 64% like it
|
My Carbon Footprint SQUASHED Your Carbon Footprint!
of 57 votes, 58% like it
|
Forget about a knife at a gunfight. Why were you at a GUNFIGHT?
of 73 votes, 71% like it
|
|
If I have to step on poodles, I prefer a coat to be lain on top.
of 59 votes, 59% like it
|
Trying To Be Cooler In A More Obvious Way.
of 63 votes, 57% like it
|
Forget the consequences, just GO FOR IT!(I'll say your Good-Byes)
of 59 votes, 36% like it
|
|
For some reason, I always get bored in the Doldrums.
of 69 votes, 35% like it
|
I mimic ostriches when it comes to confrontation.
of 65 votes, 55% like it
|
Try to be a 'One In A Million' instead of a 'One In Ten'.
of 67 votes, 45% like it
|
|
Life Is Chaos, By Design.
of 72 votes, 63% like it
|
More EXTRA Than ORDINARY
of 66 votes, 70% like it
|
It turns out, being 'The Bomb' is better than it sounds.
of 81 votes, 67% like it
|
|
Th s is wh t h pp ns wh n you sh rt ch nge the SilkScreener
of 65 votes, 51% like it
|
I hope my shirt makes yours better by comparison.
of 62 votes, 65% like it
|
Sometimes, I wish life had a TILT function.
of 62 votes, 50% like it
|
|
People think I'm possessed. Turns out, it's just Tourette's.
of 64 votes, 55% like it
|
Ancient Times is old news.
of 61 votes, 44% like it
|
Nuke Chernobyl, just to be sure.
of 64 votes, 45% like it
|
|
I make bad jokes GOOD.
of 60 votes, 40% like it
|
I forgot why we drink out of Aluminum.
of 58 votes, 43% like it
|
I only listen to Rock music. Does that make me a Geologist?
of 70 votes, 57% like it
|
|
This shirt can and will be held against you in the Court Of Hugs.
of 73 votes, 45% like it
|
Hula-Hooping Isn't A Crime
of 55 votes, 44% like it
|
I should look into this 'Career' thing I keep hearing about.
of 69 votes, 65% like it
|
|
(Am I the only one who uses Air Parentheses)
of 64 votes, 56% like it
|
Everything was Right, until I turned Left.
of 78 votes, 59% like it
|
I just think the girl Peacock could try a little harder.
of 63 votes, 60% like it
|
|
Co-Conspirator
of 58 votes, 55% like it
|
Flotsam and Jetsam are just two fancy words for littering.
of 74 votes, 49% like it
|
Oompa-Loompas always taste better dipped in Chocolate.
of 70 votes, 60% like it
|
|
Mankind: Not all man. Not all kind.
of 82 votes, 72% like it
|
I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of my Secret Society
of 77 votes, 62% like it
|
Wats sew grate abowt sckool enywez?
of 60 votes, 45% like it
|
|
Sorry...I didn't catch the SARCASM!
of 95 votes, 69% like it
|
So, what does it take to win the Human Race?
of 81 votes, 74% like it
|
Life is like a Rental Car: Expect a Compact, hope for a Luxury.
of 65 votes, 57% like it
|
|
Do you smell something cooking? Oh wait, that's just ME!
of 55 votes, 64% like it
|
I Follow
(next line)
The Rule
(next line)
Of Thirds
of 62 votes, 68% like it
|
Try To See The Trees For The Forest For A Change.
of 61 votes, 54% like it
|
|
I surf Radio Waves.
of 69 votes, 65% like it
|
Regrettably , you don't HAVE to be skinny to dip in most water.
of 64 votes, 56% like it
|
I Have Argued With Myself And Lost.
of 65 votes, 57% like it
|
|
I never seem to have the right answer to rhetorical questions.
of 69 votes, 67% like it
|
Earth Native
of 64 votes, 52% like it
|
My Magic Marker could use a little more MAGIC.
of 74 votes, 65% like it
|
|
Silent Film Dialogue Writer
of 69 votes, 61% like it
|
I Hate To Burst Your Bubble, But I Do Have This Pointy Thing.
of 82 votes, 56% like it
|
You'd think twice about debating with me if you saw all my books.
of 80 votes, 56% like it
|
|
Everything I need to know, I learned in Kindergarten..and College
of 74 votes, 58% like it
|
COMPUTERS: Smarter Than The Average Human
of 65 votes, 54% like it
|
You didn't notice IT was gone, but I'm bringing IT back.
of 61 votes, 49% like it
|
|
Actually, The Least I Could Do Is NOTHING.
of 70 votes, 63% like it
|
I'll just assume that was rhetorical...
of 54 votes, 57% like it
|
Get me my pipe and magnifying glass. Sleuthing is imminent.
of 59 votes, 71% like it
|
|
Living For The CONSTANT Instead Of The MOMENT.
of 54 votes, 50% like it
|
Fool In Paradise
of 56 votes, 46% like it
|
When I say "WE", I'm referring to me...and my TAPEWORM!
of 78 votes, 41% like it
|
|
I'm So Stoked At How COOL We Are!
of 57 votes, 46% like it
|
I Go Places...In Fact, I'm On My Way Right Now.
of 60 votes, 63% like it
|
I Am So Different, In A Different Way Than You.
of 60 votes, 58% like it
|
|
I'd Rather Knot.
of 56 votes, 50% like it
|
My mom taught me to control my bodily functions...PULL MY FINGER
of 59 votes, 53% like it
|
I'm building a Space Shuttle in my backyard...TRUST ME.
of 62 votes, 53% like it
|
|
Snap dragon: One of the most misleading flower titles.
of 67 votes, 46% like it
|
Thought about correct grammar, but didn't find any capital in it.
of 56 votes, 50% like it
|
Borrowed Time Will Be Paid Back With Interest.
of 56 votes, 63% like it
|
|
Acme 101: Tuning Fork, Vanishing Cream and a Dog Whistle= Success
of 56 votes, 50% like it
|
Apparently, I woke up on the wrong side of the World today!
of 56 votes, 50% like it
|
Call me Old-Fashioned, but I prefer my particles SUBATOMIC.
of 59 votes, 51% like it
|
|
I hope Genetic Engineering catches up to my Unicorn aspirations!
of 66 votes, 70% like it
|
Not Left-Wing. Not Right-Wing. Here's My Middle-Finger.
of 63 votes, 54% like it
|
Pretty Soon It'll Be Later.
of 78 votes, 71% like it
|
|
Trying to take back what time has stolen.
of 63 votes, 44% like it
|
A Watched Pot Boils At Exactly 212 Degrees Fahrenheit.
of 67 votes, 49% like it
|
You looked further away in your photograph.
of 78 votes, 63% like it
|
|
Forever: It's Sooner Than You May Think.
of 78 votes, 54% like it
|
A "Hello" from you might cure this awkward silence.
of 74 votes, 61% like it
|
I would think it's easier to vanish into THICK AIR.
of 85 votes, 67% like it
|
|
Just wondering why everyone is so Anti-Arctica.
of 79 votes, 44% like it
|
I don't look for signs. I guess that's how I got that ticket.
of 76 votes, 67% like it
|
Making Money, But Not Made Of It.
of 68 votes, 46% like it
|
|
Sticks and Stones broke my bones. Go ahead, add insult to injury!
of 70 votes, 54% like it
|
I'm losing sleep. Do you know the Cheat Code?
of 72 votes, 63% like it
|
All this talk about Celibacy is making me HOT!
of 73 votes, 48% like it
|
|
Saving The Universe...One Planet At A Time.
of 74 votes, 74% like it
|
Did you see that Octagon over there? Yeah, I think it's a sign.
of 80 votes, 73% like it
|
Let's take some pictures and see what develops.
of 71 votes, 54% like it
|
|
Surface tension allows optimists to fill the glass PAST THE RIM!
of 67 votes, 64% like it
|
Being stranded on a Dessert Island actually sounds pretty good!
of 68 votes, 51% like it
|
I cloned myself. I don't even know if I'm me anymore.
of 65 votes, 65% like it
|
|
I live a dual life. One in this shirt...then everything else.
of 56 votes, 45% like it
|
I survived "The End"...of whatever just happened.
of 61 votes, 38% like it
|
(UV)It's sunny! (REGULAR)Good times. (GLOW)It's really dark!
of 64 votes, 55% like it
|
|
The 11th Hour Is Nigh...Just Look At Your Watch.
of 60 votes, 40% like it
|
Don't cry for me, Spilt-Milk!
of 67 votes, 43% like it
|
The end of time is NOW...This will be relevant some day.
of 68 votes, 57% like it
|
|
If a joke is told and no one hears it, is it still funny?
of 74 votes, 45% like it
|
I saw The Bermuda Triangle and all I got was a parallel universe.
of 84 votes, 70% like it
|
Turn the lights out...
(GLOW) THAT'S BETTER!
of 72 votes, 53% like it
|
|
Ladders Keep My Head In The Clouds.
of 70 votes, 54% like it
|
Playing In The Sandbox Makes Me Feel Like Dirt.
of 79 votes, 58% like it
|
Spread The Love Like An Infectious Disease.
of 70 votes, 57% like it
|
|
Remember the old saying: Two Rhombi Don't Make A Dodecahedron
of 76 votes, 55% like it
|
I should have gone to bed long ago...but I couldn't find it.
of 71 votes, 41% like it
|
I need another analogy like I need a hole in my head.
of 81 votes, 63% like it
|
|
I See Your Pastry And Raise You A Doughnut.
of 75 votes, 65% like it
|
Apparently, rhyming about diseases makes them kid friendly.
of 79 votes, 57% like it
|
My head feels like it's swimming, but I only Doggie-Paddle.
of 71 votes, 48% like it
|
|
In A Year We'll Have The Anniversary Of This Moment. I want Cake.
of 82 votes, 66% like it
|
It's A Holiday Somewhere, So Let's Celebrate!
of 83 votes, 70% like it
|
I'm not green with envy, I'm just green.
of 82 votes, 43% like it
|
|
I don't believe in limitations.
of 82 votes, 45% like it
|
Oversleeping is UnderRated.
of 92 votes, 71% like it
|
It's A Peachy Kind Of World And I'm A Tangerine.
of 71 votes, 56% like it
|
|
Surface tension allows pessimists to fill the glass PAST THE RIM!
of 77 votes, 47% like it
|
The Solstice was pretty much the long and short of it.
of 68 votes, 56% like it
|
Hide-N-Seek Champion of 1989
of 82 votes, 66% like it
|
|
If Love Is The Answer...Maybe I Misunderstood The Question.
of 82 votes, 61% like it
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Proud to share my Sweet-Tooth with an Owl and a Turtle.
of 76 votes, 61% like it
|
Free Candy 101: Costume + Pillowcase = INFINITE SWEETS
of 68 votes, 60% like it
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A Caramel Apple A Day Keeps My Dentist In Business.
of 81 votes, 74% like it
|
I am a SUCKER for SWEETS.
of 72 votes, 51% like it
|
I'm younger than older people.
of 86 votes, 71% like it
|
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Zen Zombies: Seeking a Piece of Mind.
of 87 votes, 66% like it
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I have a lot of Etc...
of 76 votes, 59% like it
|
Crouton MUST be French for STALE BREAD!
of 75 votes, 47% like it
|
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I'm so cool, my six degrees of separation are measured in Kelvin.
of 91 votes, 55% like it
|
Latin is a dead language. Zombie is an undead one.
of 79 votes, 63% like it
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If I give one to you, then I'll have to give one to everyone else
of 78 votes, 63% like it
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Reserving my right to be completely wrong.
of 84 votes, 61% like it
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I tell bad jokes well.
of 72 votes, 57% like it
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Timing can be everything...when you have nothing but time.
of 70 votes, 50% like it
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I'm not above being down.
of 67 votes, 52% like it
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My game is limited to the VIDEO variety.
of 72 votes, 47% like it
|
Evolution must have left the monkey behind, for some reason.
of 79 votes, 52% like it
|
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Kindergarten Graduation on a resume seems to be unimpressive.
of 86 votes, 59% like it
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Pink Magic is the new Black Magic.
of 78 votes, 47% like it
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My premonitions often involve things that have already happened.
of 81 votes, 59% like it
|
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Can we go on an adventure?
of 89 votes, 61% like it
|
Ping-Pong Champion...Of My Basement.
of 75 votes, 57% like it
|
(Left Shoulder) Cold (Right Shoulder) To Cry On
of 100 votes, 78% like it
|
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Scorpions: Not as friendly as they are cute!
of 76 votes, 50% like it
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My call of the wild can be a little ANIMATED.
of 73 votes, 47% like it
|
Pretend we're in a romantic comedy. I'm befuddled...YOU KISS ME!
of 76 votes, 51% like it
|
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Yes, I won the Gold. But it seems to be 2nd to Platinum now...
of 71 votes, 58% like it
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Driving While Sleepy During Rain Causes Wet-Dreams.
of 80 votes, 44% like it
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Down with Acrophobia!
of 74 votes, 50% like it
|
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Walking the thin line between Never and Forever...called Now.
of 76 votes, 42% like it
|
This is my Cold Shoulder. (near the top right or left of shirt)
of 84 votes, 51% like it
|
Burn CDs, not BOOKS!
of 84 votes, 68% like it
|
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It's not impossible that the customer is in error occasionally.
of 92 votes, 66% like it
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MORE CHAOS...But please organize when you're done.
of 69 votes, 51% like it
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I'm impressed by your impressions.
of 73 votes, 58% like it
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Sometimes I try too hard.
of 76 votes, 49% like it
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Keep it up and your babies will come out NAKED!
of 83 votes, 51% like it
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The day has been canceled due to lack of interest.
of 109 votes, 73% like it
|
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I just presume that I'll get more tickets to paradise than two.
of 88 votes, 56% like it
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I seem to have misplaced my motivation.
of 95 votes, 71% like it
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Try to live every day as if it's a cartoon.
of 99 votes, 63% like it
|
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Why is there so much hostility towards punching bags?
of 101 votes, 65% like it
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When pleading ignorance, one is actually admiting dumbness.
of 80 votes, 60% like it
|
Vacuums don't seem to clean anything in space.
of 97 votes, 72% like it
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(on back)
Just trying to stay ahead of the weather.
of 77 votes, 52% like it
|
Real Ghost Writers use invisible ink.
of 86 votes, 65% like it
|
Don't ask a Zombie for a hand if he's chewing on one.
of 94 votes, 54% like it
|
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Taking pictures from the side is how I gain perspective.
of 84 votes, 61% like it
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On the other hand, there could be a glove.
of 95 votes, 68% like it
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Since I don't know what you're thinking, the answer is subjective
of 80 votes, 48% like it
|
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Some triangles are so acute!
of 85 votes, 54% like it
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Why is it that I always seem to ask rhetorical questions?
of 90 votes, 67% like it
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If you ask a zombie for a hand, you better specify HELP is needed
of 88 votes, 55% like it
|
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(on back) I'm 10 steps ahead of you (actual distance may vary)
of 85 votes, 74% like it
|
I'm not above getting down.
of 86 votes, 58% like it
|
You're just pretending to see my imaginary friend, aren't you?
of 93 votes, 61% like it
|
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Let's pretend it's a race!
of 70 votes, 56% like it
|
How did people learn problem solving skills before video games?
of 85 votes, 68% like it
|
It's THIS easy being green. (on green shirt)
of 92 votes, 70% like it
|
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Fiction...A NOVEL idea.
of 83 votes, 69% like it
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Instead of breaking the ice, be like a Zamboni and SMOOTH it out!
of 71 votes, 59% like it
|
According to recent polls; 9 out of 10 people make up 90% of them
of 86 votes, 47% like it
|
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My unicycle is greener than your bike.
of 84 votes, 57% like it
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If diamonds are forever, maybe they are the secret to time travel
of 81 votes, 64% like it
|
Find a penny, pick it up & all day long you'll have a penny.
of 92 votes, 63% like it
|
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Magazines are VOLUMES better than books!
of 79 votes, 49% like it
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Unicycles failed to help me achieve perfect balance.
of 73 votes, 55% like it
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I am "the man" that is holding me down.
of 81 votes, 48% like it
|
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Unicycles help me achieve perfect balance.
of 84 votes, 46% like it
|
On the 3.141592654th day, God created Math.
of 115 votes, 70% like it
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Yesterdays future is a thing of the past.
of 83 votes, 61% like it
|
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In case it comes up, I vomit uncontrollably!
of 72 votes, 50% like it
|
If this WAS Rocket Science, I'd admit to being under qualified.
of 89 votes, 69% like it
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If I were you I wouldn't be me.
of 83 votes, 60% like it
|
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I love Pi infinitely!
of 72 votes, 51% like it
|
I have elements on my Coffee Table...Periodically
of 85 votes, 59% like it
|
Watch me defy gravity...
of 79 votes, 54% like it
|
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It doesn't take a Rocket Surgeon to skin a few cats!
of 81 votes, 44% like it
|
I'm afraid I have Hypochondraphobia.
of 94 votes, 62% like it
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I don't mean to brag, but I make a pretty mean Humble Pie!
of 100 votes, 60% like it
|
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I've never felt remorse...and I kind of feel bad about it.
of 104 votes, 73% like it
|
You call me pumpkin one more time and I will SQUASH you!
of 84 votes, 50% like it
|
On the 8th day God created Pong, and there was much rejoicing.
of 93 votes, 56% like it
|
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I love the thought of being thought of.
of 86 votes, 52% like it
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In the finger election, all thumbs are opposed.
of 92 votes, 50% like it
|
In the finger election, all opposed say thumb.
of 87 votes, 51% like it
|
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I'll rue the day...when I learn what the word RUE means!
of 91 votes, 62% like it
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If life's a stage & love is blind, then I want a re-write!
of 91 votes, 57% like it
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Will work for cardboard & markers.
of 108 votes, 72% like it
|
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(UV)Plays well with others.
(GLOW)Doesn't play well with others.
of 89 votes, 49% like it
|
Orwell was wrong about 1984.
of 99 votes, 60% like it
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Platypus: The first hybrid.
of 112 votes, 62% like it
|
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Life is my Amusement Park!
of 88 votes, 52% like it
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Commas are so common,
of 89 votes, 52% like it
|
Money talks...when you know ventriloquism.
of 105 votes, 57% like it
|
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Money talks...if you know ventriloquism.
of 95 votes, 49% like it
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That really sucks...but not as much as a Black Hole!
of 99 votes, 55% like it
|
Heart: Life's Metronome.
of 97 votes, 63% like it
|
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Let your heart be life's metronome.
of 89 votes, 49% like it
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Somebody Else.
of 86 votes, 48% like it
|
Geppetto really pulls my strings!
of 98 votes, 53% like it
|
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(on back) I am ahead of you in the Human Race.
of 126 votes, 77% like it
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Walking is more fun on an autopedescalator.
of 83 votes, 48% like it
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I borrowed my originality.
of 100 votes, 62% like it
|
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Guitars don't fret.
of 107 votes, 67% like it
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I am Senator Reed Thatcher
of 102 votes, 38% like it
|
Professional Cheater
(I ALWAYS WIN)
of 107 votes, 45% like it
|
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I got a gold metal in Alchemy.
of 133 votes, 71% like it
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I got a gold medal in Alchemy.
of 111 votes, 54% like it
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Narwhal: Proof of Unicorns & Darwinian Evolution Theory.
of 109 votes, 50% like it
|
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Despite popular belief, cheaters win occasionally.
of 106 votes, 59% like it
|
(on back)
This is where my jet-pack goes.
of 130 votes, 68% like it
|
I wonder how vegans feel about carnivorous plants.
of 128 votes, 71% like it
|
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Some things are easier DONE than SAID!
of 100 votes, 55% like it
|
Cannibals eat this stuff up
of 105 votes, 59% like it
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AMNESIA! The thought never crossed my mind.
of 179 votes, 73% like it
|
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Capitalism just makes $ense
of 99 votes, 48% like it
|
Capitalism just makes cents
of 97 votes, 51% like it
|
Honorably Mentioned
of 91 votes, 58% like it
|
|
Professional Marathon Watcher
of 84 votes, 54% like it
|
Only human...for NOW!
of 87 votes, 54% like it
|
My ennui was cured on Wii.
of 83 votes, 55% like it
|
|
Cursed ALUMINUM! I've been foiled again!
of 116 votes, 74% like it
|
An apple a day. What do doctors have against citrus?
of 92 votes, 48% like it
|
Keepin' it Surreal
of 111 votes, 71% like it
|
|
Prevent animal cruelty...Stop poaching eggs.
of 96 votes, 52% like it
|
Superman < Kryptonite
of 101 votes, 48% like it
|
I'd rather be roasting marshmallows.
of 92 votes, 51% like it
|
|
You read potato, I read potato. This might work better out loud.
of 111 votes, 68% like it
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You say potato...I say it differently.
of 98 votes, 49% like it
|
Reading...now there's a Novel idea.
of 98 votes, 60% like it
|
|
Walking saves the world...one step at a time.
of 103 votes, 48% like it
|
There's probably a rule against it in Leviticus.
of 97 votes, 52% like it
|
I like my rainy days dehydrated
of 88 votes, 48% like it
|
|
Obligatory Zombie T-Shirt
of 92 votes, 51% like it
|
Holy Ampersand Batman!
of 97 votes, 54% like it
|
If my Flux Capacitor was working, I wouldn't have gotten a ticket
of 101 votes, 55% like it
|
|
Don't just do something...stand there
of 100 votes, 61% like it
|
My "inner monologue" is "sarcastic".
of 95 votes, 55% like it
|
My inner monologue is smirking.
of 90 votes, 58% like it
|
|
I tend to try.
of 84 votes, 48% like it
|
If only I had Basic Skills
of 93 votes, 49% like it
|
Be careful what you wish for, 'cause you might get this shirt...
of 89 votes, 46% like it
|
|
You smell like rainbows...dirty, dirty rainbows!
of 85 votes, 52% like it
|
No proof that Unicorns are real, but check out my real Nagahide!
of 86 votes, 48% like it
|
I throw around exclamation points like they are snowballs!!!!!!!!
of 99 votes, 56% like it
|
|
Everything I need to know, I learned from Marty McFly
of 93 votes, 57% like it
|
Marty McFly changed my life
of 91 votes, 47% like it
|
Psychics & Meteorologists agree...vagueness is where it's at!
of 102 votes, 55% like it
|
|
I thought it was custom to hide stuff but Customs didn't think so
of 105 votes, 56% like it
|
This shirt helped me accomplish the goal of getting dressed today
of 97 votes, 53% like it
|
This IS my good shirt!
of 100 votes, 48% like it
|
|
I am invisible when you aren't looking.
of 104 votes, 58% like it
|
I bet you've got a lot of nice ties
of 83 votes, 51% like it
|
What the ASTRIX, POUND-SIGN, EXCLAMATION POINT, SEMI-COLON
of 97 votes, 53% like it
|
|
The future is coming, whether you like it or not.
of 95 votes, 59% like it
|
Textually active & Virus free
of 107 votes, 54% like it
|
That's not going to come off in the shower...
of 103 votes, 42% like it
|
|
It's not the shirt that makes me look fat.
of 103 votes, 42% like it
|
Of course it's true...I read it on Wikipedia!
of 99 votes, 54% like it
|
I pee in public (restrooms)
of 113 votes, 50% like it
|
|
Everyone pees in the pool
of 112 votes, 47% like it
|
This could have no meaning at all. Keep reading to see if it...
of 106 votes, 45% like it
|
Persistence Is Useful
of 100 votes, 44% like it
|
|
Exo-Skeleton
of 99 votes, 44% like it
|
I'd give my left testicle to win the Tour De France
of 108 votes, 46% like it
|
Following in my shadows footsteps.
of 103 votes, 41% like it
|
|
I climb things
of 100 votes, 45% like it
|
Esta camisa es en español
of 104 votes, 46% like it
|
I've seen Big Foot
of 101 votes, 45% like it
|
|
If you are reading this, than I have served my purpose. (DECOY)
of 108 votes, 53% like it
|
Do you have a better shirt I could borrow?
of 101 votes, 50% like it
|
Some day this shirt probably won't fit me.
of 105 votes, 50% like it
|
|
I like to read...and it seems you do too.
of 109 votes, 60% like it
|
Does this slogan make my shirt look tacky?
of 110 votes, 49% like it
|
Non-Fiction is happening now
of 109 votes, 61% like it
|
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I may or may not be invisible under this shirt.
of 108 votes, 48% like it
|
