This week, GTS sat down with Threadless' Legal Eagle - John Festa. We talk about busting Threadless thieves, what it's like Growing Up Festa and his affinity for all things Dick Firestorm. On with the show...

GTS: Welcome everyone! Today's Gettin' The Skinny interviewee is John Festa. What's happening John?

John: Crazy busy...but that is a good thing! And how are you this fine day?

GTS: Busy but good as well, thanks. Tell the folks home a little bit about what you do at Threadless

John: Alright, well, to start I am the in-house attorney for skinnycorp as well as the H.R. manager - there's not a lot I can say about the HR stuff other than I'm like Tobey from the office, but at least Jake and Tom don't treat me like I am the most evil person in the world. Regarding the law - I handle quite a bit, from making sure our intellectual property is secure and maintained (copyrights and trademarks), working up terms for promos submissions and the like, pursuing the gutless copycats who rip off our community designs...to business related activities like forming the business entities for the projects that fall under the SkinnyCorp umbrella and everything in between...the list goes on but those are the main points. I might use this interview to write up my year end review, if you don't mind.

GTS: that's impressive!

John: thank you!

GTS: you must have your hands full chasing down all of the bullshit knock off sites out there. has there ever been an instance where a knock off site refused to remove stolen designs?

John: There have been plenty - but let me qualify that. There are some in remote corners of the globe that aren't necessarily apart of the international treaties that govern intellectual property laws and they basically ignore us. It is quite frustrating seeing a site pawn off a dozen or so of our designs and face the reality that our hands are tied. Believe me, nothing pisses me off more. I am currently working with an international law firm on alternative strategies and solutions to this problem. As I'm sure you and your readers know, that series of tubes Uncle Ted likes to call the internets is a breeding ground for piracy - so many sectors are being hit by this problem. I'm trying to talk the company into sending me on armed raids to shut these sites down, but so far all I've been approved for is a go-kart and a slingshot. Ok not really, but going on an international sweep Bond-style would be pretty sweet. I probably shouldn't hold my breath on that one. Otherwise, companies in the U.S. and abroad (where we would have jurisdiction) usually oblige to our requests.

GTS: You'd be like Threadless' own legal Rambo.

John: That is the way I pictured it when I wrote the last part and my name is John so there you go.

GTS: Since you set up all of the SkinnyCorp entities, can you drop any hints on new developments within the Corp.?

John: Haha, yes, I would love to but will have to plead the 5th. All I can say is in 2009 some minds are going to be blown. We are all very excited about the projects we have coming up, and it is agonizing that we can't discuss them.

GTS: Damn you Threadless staff and your tight lipped secrets!

John: It is pretty remarkable how tight lipped we are - I mean, President-Elect Obama should seriously consider us for cabinet posts as we do not leak anything!

GTS: ha ha, you're not selling Senate seats for money, right?

John: hahhaa, we were trying to buy Harper one, but in light of yesterday's events, that's pretty much shot. Quick tidbit on that...Rod's "Friends of Blagojevich" office where some of the wire tapped conversations came from is exactly one block north of Skinny HQ. There were 3 news helicopters circling this morning - all of this is so insane!!!

GTS: That sounds awesome and frightening.

John: Totally, VDP and I were commenting yesterday on how many feds have probably been staked out on our street for the past several months...man am I glad I clean up after Nola on our "business" walks.

GTS: Yeah, you don't want to get busted for illegal dumping. You're referred to as "The Other Festa". Do you and your brother, Charlie have a sibling rivalry going or you two simpatico?

John: Ah yes, we are very close and always have been - not to say that we didn't have our share of knock-down drag-out fights as young'uns. But yeah, there's nothing I wouldn't do for that asshole...I mean amazing person.

GTS: Ah, spoken like a true lawyer.

John: hahhaha

GTS: Are there any Growing Up Festa stories that you'd care to share?

John: Oh man, there are a million...If you were ever looking to do a spin-off blog feature we could keep you going for a long time. I'll give you two, and they both involve Charlie urinating.

So when Char was a baby, I, being the thoughtful older brother wanted to help out our mom and change his diaper. All was going well until the water works got going mid change. Needless to say I ended up covered in piss. I haven't changed a diaper since.

The other one is one that might still bring Charlie to tears of laughter. One day Charlie was playing basketball across the street from our house - I sprinted across the street, jumped up and grabbed a rebound from a shot he had just made - I remember saying "yeah, just like Michael Jordan" and then proceded to let out an epic fart. I look up at Char and he is red in the face, can't breathe and I'm like what? -- turns out I had my back to the old lady who lived there who just happened to walk outside in time for the gas attack. Here I am embarrassed as hell, speechless - Char absolutely lost it and ran back to our house in hysterics - and well, he couldn't hold it long enough and ended up peeing as he ran.

GTS: Classic! It makes one wonder if Jordan ever ripped one during a big game.

John: That would be awesome - that alone would warrant retiring a jersey.

GTS: Threadless is clearly a pooch friendly company. How does your dog, Nola, get along with the other Threadless dogs?

John: For the most part, very well - however lately Tom's dog Lola and Nola have been getting a little aggressive with each other so we've been keeping them separated. As for Red - they love to wrassle for hours on end. Watching them play is hilarious, they both have their own distinctive styles. Nola is also a notorious thief around the office. At one point she had taken every dog toy she could find and built a stockpile in my office.

GTS: I've got two words for you and the rest of the SkinnyCorp brain trust: dog wear. Make it happen.

John: Seriously! There is definitely no shortage of advocates here for that idea.

GTS: Well count me in. My pugs have been asking me about Threadless dog merch for ages and I'm running out of excuses.

John: How are O & Z by the way?

GTS: They're good. Olive loves the snow and cold weather while Zeppelin enjoys being wrapped up in blankets and watch holiday themed movies so it's all good right now.

John: Nice. Maybe we can do a blogger's dog meetup at some point in the future.

GTS: That would be awesome. Perhaps at the launch of the Threadless Pet store. I've got some questions from my fellow bloggers for you. Ready?

John: Yes! shoot...

GTS: Chipmnk asked: If you had a band what would you call it?

John: The Flaming Bastards - we would have Dick Firestorm design all our merch.

GTS: ivejustquitsmoking wants to know: who's your fave artist here?

John: That's a tough one...there is an infinite amount of talent in our community. But if you want to go on kick-assedness, MY BRO FIRESTORM, BROS

GTS: krokun asked: What is the secret power of the Festas?

John: Excellent question. We are able to time travel - we discovered it very recently. In fact I went back to the early 80's at lunch today to be an extra on the "Loveboat".

GTS: Nice pick!

John: Capt. Stubing says what up, by the way

GTS: Cool, next time you travel back in time, send him my regards. Lastly, SnakeMan asked: if a movie was made about your life, what would it be called and who would play you?

John: It would be called "Cool Easy Smooth" starring Tim Robbins. Bull Durham and Shawshank own - as does the story about him being denied at the polls during the last election.

GTS: I'm not a big Tim Robbins fan but his character in High Fidelity is so good.

John: ah yes...the montage where they beat the shit out of him is classic

GTS: Definitely. Death by air conditioner is not how you want to go out.

John: haha or smelling like patchouli oil.

GTS: Got that right. John, it's time to play Pick One. Are you familiar with this segment?

John: Yes - Fire away!

GTS: #1 Solo I Can Hardly Hear You: Phil Collins or Don Henley?

John: I'll go with Phil - I'm with Lebowski when it comes to the Eagles.

GTS: #2 Tea for Two: Milk or Honey?

John: Honey

GTS: #3 Stocking Stuffers: Socks or Fruit?

John: Haha...stuffing socks with more socks, always works

GTS: #4 Top Trilogy: Star Wars (I don't count the new episodes) or Lord of the Rings?

John: Trust me, I don't either...but damn, tough one - I'll go with LOTR

GTS: #5 I'll Be The Judge of That: Judge Judy or Judge Joe Brown?

John: There's only one judge - Judge Smails. You'll get nothing and like it.

GTS: #6 Touchdown Dance: Ickey Shuffle or Lambeau Leap?

John: Fuck Green Bay. oh sorry, can I say that.

GTS: Ickey Shuffle it is.

GTS: #7 Juke Box Hero - Long Play Edition: Layla with the extended ending or One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer?

John: Layla - goodfellas all the way!

GTS: #8 It's All Hood: Pull-over or Zip-up?

John: Zip up

GTS: #9 Gamble On: Black Jack or Poker?

John: Poker all day. I used to be a bit of an online hold 'em junkie

GTS: #10 Best Bros: The Blues Brothers or Mario & Luigi?

John: Oh man - these choices are killing me - but leaning towards Joliet Jake and Elwood

GTS: Two of Chicago's finest.

John: Hells yeah. Char and I have that movie memorized.

GTS: Well John, that just about does it for this installment of Gettin' The Skinny. Just two quick things before we wrap up the show: First, which Threadless staffer would you like me to interview next?

John: Well, depending on availability, I'd say either Customer Service Mgr. Brianne Liss or our Chicago Retail Mgr. Donella Demorest - two very influential women at the 'Corp.

GTS: Right on. I'll get in touch with them and see what their schedules look like. And lastly, please share some parting words of wisdom with the folks at home.

John: I've got a couple on my mind - so how about a two for one. It's easy to grin when your ship comes in and you've got the markets beat...but a man worth while is a man who can smile when is pants are too tight in the seat. But seriously - Pick battles big enough to matter and small enough to win.