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squintygirl
aka Michelle Chow is a 36.02 year old girl, has been a member since June 22, 2006, has scored 151,685 submissions, giving an average score of 2.20, helping 1,844 designs get printed.
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<b>statement</b>
of 49 votes, 14% like it
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Rash decisions make me itchy.
of 44 votes, 32% like it
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Jumping to conclusions is how I get my cardio.
of 60 votes, 40% like it
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Crude oil comes from potty-mouthed dinosaurs.
of 48 votes, 21% like it
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Half-full or half-empty, who cares? Just top up my glass.
of 56 votes, 30% like it
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I have never overstated anything in the history of the universe.
of 61 votes, 33% like it
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I always sugarcoat my words in case I have to eat them later.
of 61 votes, 39% like it
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When I have to eat my words, I choose 'candy' and 'chocolate'.
of 70 votes, 37% like it
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By reading this, you've just accepted my hula hoop challenge.
of 60 votes, 38% like it
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I swear by cursive writing.
of 62 votes, 23% like it
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Why are so many things falling in the forest, anyway?
of 61 votes, 26% like it
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Opportunity should just use the doorbell like everyone else.
of 61 votes, 41% like it
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Thanks to New Math, I can now add insult to injury.
of 74 votes, 31% like it
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Never hit someone with glasses. Use a spatula, it'll hurt more.
of 56 votes, 29% like it
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Geologists dig rock music.
of 70 votes, 24% like it
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Let's go on a wild cookie chase, instead, geese kind of scare me.
of 59 votes, 29% like it
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...and that's how you can successfully avoid eye contact!
of 61 votes, 31% like it
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No, go ahead, finish reading this. I can wait.
of 63 votes, 30% like it
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Actually, your misuse of irony killed off the dinosaurs.
of 57 votes, 33% like it
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When the chips are down, the 5 Second Rule still applies.
of 63 votes, 27% like it
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If history repeats itself, we should reconsider parachute pants.
of 57 votes, 40% like it
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Math would be sweeter if the proof really was in the pudding.
of 62 votes, 23% like it
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A survey of all mums who are my mum agree: I'm pretty great.
of 44 votes, 25% like it
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Wax-on-wax-off didn't improve my karate, but my car looks great!
of 60 votes, 20% like it
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Never walk away from responsibility. Run as fast as you can!
of 68 votes, 28% like it
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Pretend we're in a sitcom and start a hilarious misunderstanding!
of 59 votes, 25% like it
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I tried to write a bankruptcy book, but it ended at Chapter 11.
of 43 votes, 33% like it
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Clumsy people meet by accident.
of 44 votes, 50% like it
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You should know what the creeps are, you just gave them to me.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
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The Anarchist's Handbook has a table of discontents.
of 40 votes, 28% like it
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Angry letters call for cursive writing.
of 36 votes, 28% like it
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It's a cake walk being stranded on a desserted island.
of 39 votes, 41% like it
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Math would be delicious if the proof was in the pudding.
of 40 votes, 48% like it
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I draw conclusions in pencil, in case I make a mistake.
of 44 votes, 57% like it
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I'd lend you an ear, but it will make my head look lopsided.
of 31 votes, 42% like it
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In the long run, I usually end up sitting.
of 43 votes, 37% like it
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If you don't have anything nice to say, tell me the juicy details
of 40 votes, 53% like it
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I'd love a catchphrase, but I keep dropping it.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
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Only crickets respond to my jokes.
of 40 votes, 28% like it
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Music may be the food of love, but my stomach still prefers cake.
of 31 votes, 48% like it
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Don't keep up with the Joneses; the Jetsons have cooler stuff.
of 29 votes, 52% like it
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When the chips are down, the Five Second Rule still applies.
of 33 votes, 70% like it
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Red meat may not be good for you, but greenish meat is worse.
of 28 votes, 36% like it
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Forget calculus, let's find the proof in this pudding, instead.
of 29 votes, 41% like it
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Living large is much more comfortable with elastic waist pants.
of 36 votes, 50% like it
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I'd follow my dreams, but they're really bad with directions.
of 39 votes, 74% like it
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If you have nothing nice to say, I'm coming to you for gossip.
of 26 votes, 35% like it
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Geese scare me, let's go on a wild cookie chase, instead.
of 26 votes, 46% like it
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Comedians have such a hard knock-knock life.
of 31 votes, 32% like it
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I hold grudges. They're a lot lighter than you think.
of 35 votes, 63% like it
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I gave a hoot, and got fined for noise pollution.
of 30 votes, 50% like it
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I chose the Dork Side, instead. They have better wi-fi.
of 39 votes, 54% like it
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I'm really in my element when I'm using my periodic table.
of 32 votes, 41% like it
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Actually, your whining killed the dinosaurs.
of 29 votes, 48% like it
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I practice black magic because it makes me look slimmer.
of 39 votes, 62% like it
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If you hate what you hear on the grapevine, don't talk to produce
of 43 votes, 63% like it
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The Dark Side relies too much on mood lighting.
of 37 votes, 54% like it
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Impractical jokes are more funny, but less useful.
of 47 votes, 53% like it
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I prefer my jokes to be more impractical.
of 32 votes, 28% like it
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A survey of all mums who are my mum agree that I'm pretty great.
of 37 votes, 51% like it
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Good thing the universe is expanding, I need room for my stuff.
of 56 votes, 66% like it
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My jazz hands made street dance-fighting illegal.
of 47 votes, 62% like it
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I wanted to geld my stallion, but he ix-neighed the idea.
of 36 votes, 44% like it
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My exercise regimine consists mainly of training montages.
of 54 votes, 57% like it
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I'll scratch Wolervine's back, but pass on my share of the favor.
of 41 votes, 49% like it
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Shaking out your hair in slow motion makes hat head so worth it.
of 41 votes, 39% like it
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Apparently, dancing in the street is still considered jaywalking.
of 58 votes, 64% like it
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No rest for the wicked, but the overtime pay is phenomenal.
of 45 votes, 60% like it
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If history repeats itself, I hope we reconsider parachute pants.
of 61 votes, 70% like it
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Gimme a boost, I need to get back up on my high horse.
of 50 votes, 60% like it
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I blame global warming on disco inferno.
of 42 votes, 45% like it
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I tried to defy gravity, and got grounded instead.
of 49 votes, 61% like it
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Being a ninja is just an excuse to wear footie pyjamas all day.
of 50 votes, 64% like it
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Pretend we're in a sitcom and start a hilarious misunderstanding.
of 66 votes, 77% like it
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If this were a musical, I'd be lecturing you in song by now.
of 44 votes, 55% like it
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Peg leg sales increase when everybody cuts footloose.
of 35 votes, 37% like it
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I busted a move back in the day, and I still can't fix it.
of 45 votes, 42% like it
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Art often imitates Life. How childish.
of 50 votes, 60% like it
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A black hole is formed everytime someone gives 110%.
of 44 votes, 55% like it
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Don't let my combed hair fool you, I'm actually a mad scientist.
of 45 votes, 58% like it
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It just isn't a car chase until it smashes through a fruit stand.
of 40 votes, 48% like it
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If it was really that important, it would've been on Degrassi.
of 31 votes, 29% like it
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Maybe you'll understand better if I sing a song about it.
of 32 votes, 34% like it
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Closed captions provided by this shirt.
of 33 votes, 42% like it
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Song-and-dance numbers: when a simple explanation just won't do.
of 47 votes, 72% like it
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Kleptomaniacs can take a hint.
of 42 votes, 33% like it
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Superhero monks have altar egos.
of 45 votes, 38% like it
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Musical teens with bad complexions always break out in song.
of 28 votes, 32% like it
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I often break into song because I keep forgetting the keys.
of 34 votes, 44% like it
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My Optimus Prime rate mortgage transformed me into homeless.
of 39 votes, 54% like it
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If it's the thought that counts, I need a new calculator.
of 25 votes, 36% like it
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I'm huge in Munchkinland.
of 45 votes, 49% like it
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I only jump on bandwagons made out of bouncy castles.
of 38 votes, 26% like it
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Kleptomaniac actors are natural scene-stealers.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
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Against musical advice, I'm still a little afraid of the reaper.
of 43 votes, 35% like it
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I learned the hard way that Broadway lied about dance gangfights.
of 39 votes, 41% like it
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Wave shake shimmy shimmy means 'hi' in interpretive dance.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
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...and when I snap my fingers, you'll forget what just happened.
of 41 votes, 49% like it
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If you can read this, then I'm taking a break from cartwheels.
of 38 votes, 29% like it
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My preferred method of transportation is leapfrog.
of 37 votes, 32% like it
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Hey, I caught your eye! It's in my pocket for safekeeping.
of 31 votes, 29% like it
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Thanks to New Math, I can now add insult to injury!
of 36 votes, 39% like it
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Disco was right: our time probably would be better spent dancing.
of 36 votes, 42% like it
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Go on, steal candy from a baby. It shouldn't have candy anyway.
of 46 votes, 57% like it
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If Degrassi hasn't explained it, it isn't worth explaining.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
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Let's shoot the breeze. I'm really angry at it.
of 40 votes, 48% like it
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Angry letters are best written in cursive.
of 33 votes, 33% like it
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Surprisingly, 'Fame' didn't prepare me for high school at all.
of 28 votes, 32% like it
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Sometimes I let the cat out of the bag, but only if it behaves.
of 35 votes, 34% like it
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When the music starts, that's my cue to explain it all in song.
of 34 votes, 32% like it
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The movies lied: no one ever joins my big song-and-dance numbers.
of 45 votes, 47% like it
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The nerdier explanation is superior, but the short answer is yes.
of 36 votes, 33% like it
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Despite being opposable, Fonzie's thumbs were always up for it.
of 37 votes, 27% like it
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Letting the cat out of the bag: bad for secrets, great for cats.
of 62 votes, 69% like it
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Wax-on-wax-off didn't help my karate, but my car looks fantastic!
of 45 votes, 49% like it
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If it didn't happen in a John Hughes film, it didn't happen.
of 38 votes, 26% like it
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Rose-colored glasses are nice, but they clash with my satire.
of 49 votes, 55% like it
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If I take off my glasses, I'm about to deliver some bad news.
of 40 votes, 53% like it
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In case of emergency, stop reading my shirt and call for help!
of 43 votes, 37% like it
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Asking 'What's the worst that can happen?' is asking to find out.
of 45 votes, 40% like it
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...and that's how you can effectively avoid eye contact!
of 55 votes, 60% like it
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History'd be much cooler if the Pilgrims landed at Fraggle Rock.
of 55 votes, 58% like it
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I usually go for broke, but I need to stop for some change.
of 37 votes, 35% like it
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I give people props, but the drama club always needs them back.
of 54 votes, 61% like it
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Off-the-cuff remarks work best with sleeveless shirts.
of 44 votes, 41% like it
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The winds of change keep messing up my hair.
of 66 votes, 74% like it
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I'm a sucker for con artists.
of 39 votes, 33% like it
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Kleptomaniacs Anonymous can only help those who help themselves.
of 104 votes, 29% like it
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I'm looking to upgrade my jamboree to a hootenanny.
of 161 votes, 56% like it
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Never met you officially, but I understand you're not bad at all.
of 123 votes, 33% like it
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No, no, go ahead, finish reading this. I can wait.
of 164 votes, 59% like it
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Brunch is my favourite fictional meal.
of 156 votes, 54% like it
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The Safety Dance is actually quite deadly.
of 154 votes, 53% like it
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This shirt is made from 100% recycled pop culture references!
of 129 votes, 33% like it
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As a matter of fact, 10,000 Barry Manilow fans can be wrong.
of 144 votes, 42% like it
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The good news is, Soylent Green is only homeless people.
of 129 votes, 38% like it
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My opposable thumbs are always contradicting what I say.
of 127 votes, 33% like it
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I never wanted to take the bank's pen until they chained it down.
of 200 votes, 75% like it
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Roses are red, violets are blue, most poems rhyme. Not this one.
of 128 votes, 40% like it
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The truth? You actually don't need algebra in the real world.
of 147 votes, 56% like it
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If dreams were horses, I'd never run out of glue.
of 120 votes, 34% like it
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My boobs say to mind your own business.
of 121 votes, 27% like it
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Slogans that have been deleted or that have been dropped from the contest
Always go with black magic. It makes you look slimmer.
of 46 votes, 13% like it
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As a matter of fact, wild horses could drag you away very easily.
of 39 votes, 28% like it
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Cash-strapped bakers really knead the dough.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
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Come any closer and you'll get hit by my invisible Hula Hoop.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
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Come to think of it, wild horses really could drag me away.
of 104 votes, 25% like it
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Don't have anything nice to say? Meet me at the water cooler!
of 61 votes, 13% like it
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Doubt everything. Or not.
of 126 votes, 33% like it
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Everyone looks up to me. It's probably due to my platform shoes.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
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Everyone needs a good catchphrase, that's what everyone says.
of 88 votes, 15% like it
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Flattery is just bitter envy in a nice dress. Hey, nice dress!
of 117 votes, 38% like it
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Go ahead. Put all your eggs in one basket.
of 117 votes, 35% like it
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Griping sommeliers whine with class.
of 34 votes, 9% like it
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I follow @fashion.
of 44 votes, 7% like it
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I never practice white magic after Labor Day.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
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I only need the medicine because of that darn spoonful of sugar.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
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I put my think tank to better use by filling it with goldfish.
of 32 votes, 34% like it
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I still wait for the chimes to tell me when to turn the page.
of 48 votes, 31% like it
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I'd lend you an ear, but it will my head will look lopsided.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
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I'd throw the book at you, but I've just gotten to the good part.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
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I'll donate my organs, but my guitars are for keeps.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
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I'm such a rebel, I even defy gravity.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
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If it hasn't been explained on Degrassi, it simply doesn't exist.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
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If you can read this, I've completed today's cartwheel marathon.
of 52 votes, 12% like it
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If you're throwing a tantrum, remember to lift it with your legs.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
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It's okay, my dog will still have respect for your leg tomorrow.
of 100 votes, 27% like it
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I’m getting into the holiday spirit but it makes my ass look big.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
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Kleptomaniacs are accomplished advice-takers.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
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Movies prove that the only real solution is to put on a show.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
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Movies were right: drag racing can solve all of life's problems.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
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My dad's patronus can beat up your dad's patronus.
of 52 votes, 12% like it
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My quest for the naked truth results in angry curtain-closing.
of 45 votes, 29% like it
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No opinion really matters. Except this one.
of 95 votes, 19% like it
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Now that I've got my elastic-waist pants on, let's go live large!
of 39 votes, 18% like it
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Now, say it with jazz hands!
of 135 votes, 38% like it
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Once I make a mixtape about it, there's nothing more to be said.
of 56 votes, 18% like it
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Owls just love a good hootenanny.
of 68 votes, 25% like it
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Plinko is a fickle mistress.
of 115 votes, 28% like it
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Roses are red, violets are blue, all my base are belong to you.
of 106 votes, 25% like it
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Since the death of dance-fighting, I leave my jazz hands at home.
of 24 votes, 33% like it
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Teachers know how to stay classy.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
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The Anarchist's Handbook has a table of discontent.
of 1 votes, 100% like it
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Thumb wrestling is much more aggressive with opposable thumbs.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
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To duck a question, just goose the asker.
of 29 votes, 28% like it
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To successfully tickle the ivories, find a co-operative elephant.
of 26 votes, 35% like it
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Tourette's sufferers can't help but write in cursive.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
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What happens in Vegas, no one else really cares about.
of 102 votes, 29% like it
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You know, that Satan sounds like a real ass.
of 114 votes, 39% like it
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You may as well surrender. My Care Bear Stare will break you.
of 116 votes, 30% like it
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http://threadless.com/profile/311224/squintygirl
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My gallery photos
All about me
Pudding Fund
Official Threadless Old Fart: helpful reading here and here. You're welcome.
SCRAPPLEJUICE FOREVER!
 
Thanks, chelly!
Thanks, Tora!
Thanks, littlem!
Thanks, taz-pie!
Thanks, Corey!
iPear on Feb 22 '09 at 12:18am
squintygirl your spirit animal would be a seal often called the mermaids of the sea, you would have sweet whiskers that would tickle all the children that you play with and protect from the sharks. You have strong characteristics of Seals, because you are special and make killer pancakes, which is something that most seals are known for. Your skin is silky smooth, and when you swim really fast you look like a huge gray sausage zooming under the water.
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My Long and Boring Back Story
When I was a young lass, I had the most incredible eyesight. I could read small typed pages from across the room and identify licence plates from a staggering distance. It was really cool. For a while there, I was invincible. INVINCIBLE!
Life, however, always has a funny way of crash-landing you back to reality, and over the course of a few years, my eyesight went from fantastic to average to poor to complete crap. I would sit in class and squint at the blackboard all day and have absolutely no idea what I was looking at. In Grade Five, I became an expert note-taker by just writing down EVERYTHING my teacher said (which, incidentally, became a very handy skill none of my board-copying schoolmates had mastered when we all needed it in university) and spent my nights begging my mother for glasses. She didn't believe me. Also, she thought they would make me look nerdy.
I walked around half-blind for almost three years until the fateful day my mom caved in and took me to the eye doctor, hurray! But what was it that finally convinced dear Mum?
Was it the fact that I kept tripping on things I couldn't see in the street? No.
Was it the fact that three of my teachers and the school nurse told my mother that I needed glasses, IMMEDIATELY? No.
Was it the fact that I had to hold a book a centimetre from my face to actually make out the words? No.
What convinced my mom to take me to the eye doctor was my squinting and how much she hated it.
'You look like you're smelling boiled cabbage all the time, stop making that face!'
'You're going to have terrible wrinkles when you get older, stop making that face!'
'It's going to freeze like that forever, you know, stop making that face!'
And 'squintygirl' was born. It was, however, the same day I finally got glasses (the ugliest glasses you could ever possibly imagine, natch), so I never had to squint again. Nevertheless, I felt such an affinity for and alliance with squintygirl, that she stayed with me through successively uglier pairs of glasses as the years passed.
Today, I have less ugly glasses and still don't squint, but I continue to salute that industrious little girl. Incidentally, my face never did freeze that way, but I am worried about wrinkles, now that I'm a member of Threadless' Old Farts Club. I guess Mom was right about something. (She was also right about the nerdy thing, too.)
The Fighting Cacti, by Gina
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