When I arrived home from work not too long ago, there was a mysterious package waiting for me on the dining table. I tore it open to discover this:
 which I then opened to read this:  Woo! Underneath that, there were candies:  and some effing delicious chocolate-y, nutty, caramel-y treats:  and some wrapped surprises!  After recuperating a bit from a stomach made too full from gorging on yummy sugary goodness, I unwrapped the prezzies and discovered these:  and these:  My daughter immediately claimed everything for her own (except the soap, because she said she already has a hockey puck), but I'm going to steal back the measuring tape bag as soon as she falls asleep. Thank you so much, Christian! You successfully brightened up a very dull winter evening with your awesomeness!
15 days later
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Pudding Fund
Official Threadless Old Fart: helpful reading here and here. You're welcome.  SCRAPPLEJUICE FOREVER!      Thanks, chelly!  Thanks, Tora!  Thanks, littlem!   Thanks, taz-pie!   Thanks, Corey!  iPear on Feb 22 '09 at 12:18am squintygirl your spirit animal would be a seal often called the mermaids of the sea, you would have sweet whiskers that would tickle all the children that you play with and protect from the sharks. You have strong characteristics of Seals, because you are special and make killer pancakes, which is something that most seals are known for. Your skin is silky smooth, and when you swim really fast you look like a huge gray sausage zooming under the water.    Old Farts Club Members (now on Facebook!) corey8/corey9 squintygirl (that's me!) adam antium pinkpiggyme travis76 grayehound kidaro P Shmoov Rock Deputy little g whisper in water Manos jmo9000 mikemills juliagoolia Luke... realslimnatey DarthG d3d steven218 steve_swartz Darth Veg WallsReallyWork spencekarl swedz littlem MadTheologian UberRyan mezo the czar hogboy vulcanhalfbreed F.A.B. typh chelly illustraTom angelito phones velusariot redsugar fatboyradio shirtflirt OCandCO lemonalle alacyt/avalanche_lily melhel86 nasti.girl. amy122166 - the greatest Evil Twin and prop girl anyone could ever ask for! deboraborialis taz-pie bkaiser jackanapes kayceislost pickledbib chemi hydro NatySpaghetti fc gravy Kitchen Patrol Fourty Four GldKttn18 funkie fresh Noobits kooky love iPear Butterfly Wings Mezbee hoesclothesandbankrolls squeegebeckenheim i carnt spell catdogpigduck herky xxreddawnxx MysteriousPete Mr Kawfy Aristarchus theurbanraptor MikeHarding morganian RussB Shix ladykat kirstenlovesdinner Tazocat bygrinstow Bonnie76 T-Lou robot activist Julie Ocean ghost of sophia   My Long and Boring Back Story When I was a young lass, I had the most incredible eyesight. I could read small typed pages from across the room and identify licence plates from a staggering distance. It was really cool. For a while there, I was invincible. INVINCIBLE! Life, however, always has a funny way of crash-landing you back to reality, and over the course of a few years, my eyesight went from fantastic to average to poor to complete crap. I would sit in class and squint at the blackboard all day and have absolutely no idea what I was looking at. In Grade Five, I became an expert note-taker by just writing down EVERYTHING my teacher said (which, incidentally, became a very handy skill none of my board-copying schoolmates had mastered when we all needed it in university) and spent my nights begging my mother for glasses. She didn't believe me. Also, she thought they would make me look nerdy. I walked around half-blind for almost three years until the fateful day my mom caved in and took me to the eye doctor, hurray! But what was it that finally convinced dear Mum? Was it the fact that I kept tripping on things I couldn't see in the street? No. Was it the fact that three of my teachers and the school nurse told my mother that I needed glasses, IMMEDIATELY? No. Was it the fact that I had to hold a book a centimetre from my face to actually make out the words? No. What convinced my mom to take me to the eye doctor was my squinting and how much she hated it. 'You look like you're smelling boiled cabbage all the time, stop making that face!' 'You're going to have terrible wrinkles when you get older, stop making that face!' 'It's going to freeze like that forever, you know, stop making that face!' And 'squintygirl' was born. It was, however, the same day I finally got glasses (the ugliest glasses you could ever possibly imagine, natch), so I never had to squint again. Nevertheless, I felt such an affinity for and alliance with squintygirl, that she stayed with me through successively uglier pairs of glasses as the years passed. Today, I have less ugly glasses and still don't squint, but I continue to salute that industrious little girl. Incidentally, my face never did freeze that way, but I am worried about wrinkles, now that I'm a member of Threadless' Old Farts Club. I guess Mom was right about something. (She was also right about the nerdy thing, too.) The Fighting Cacti, by Gina 
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Jan 12 '11 by
