Profile for Kitchen Patrol

Kitchen Patrol aka Don Cornelius is a 25.02 year old girl, has been a member since June 13, 2006, has scored 252 submissions, giving an average score of 2.38.

AIM: snowboardsam15

Apr 01 '07 by Kitchen Patrol

50 Comments

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I GOT PEED ON

So last night this guy I was seeing and I went out to a party for my roomates. He got shitfaced....and he did the worst thing you can do in a bed with another person...

He peed....all over the bed...my brand new mattress....and all over me! I got freaking peed on!

What the hell am I supposed to do now?! I'd call that one a deal breaker. I need a new mattress..

iPear on Apr 01 '07 at 8:42pm

well first of all, you don't tell other people about it.

and then.

...

...you should rid yourself of the bad memories and buy a sleep number bed.

...

and never share that story with anyone ever again.

ir0cko on Apr 01 '07 at 8:43pm

oh no

FionaB on Apr 01 '07 at 8:44pm

oh yuck.

cassiepaige on Apr 01 '07 at 8:44pm

I say you make him buy you a new bed, and then you should pee on him.

artdrops on Apr 01 '07 at 8:44pm

involuntary golden shower! eww! I'd sue! ;)

Kitchen Patrol on Apr 01 '07 at 8:44pm

No I pear....You tell everyone about it. becuase as foul, nasty and disgusting it is it's freaking HILARIOUS!

AsStarsGoOut on Apr 01 '07 at 8:45pm

haha oh god!!!! you poor thing.

maybe you should pee on HIM.

iPear on Apr 01 '07 at 8:46pm

I don't know, I mean personally, I would never tell anyone about how someone else peed on me.

Pee, is just not the answer.

ir0cko on Apr 01 '07 at 8:46pm

take a dump on his bed!

AsStarsGoOut on Apr 01 '07 at 8:46pm

oh cassie said it first.

Vealcutletz on Apr 01 '07 at 8:46pm

uhhhh, april fools?

shanthrax on Apr 01 '07 at 8:47pm

Well first of all, turn your mattress over...second, never call him again.

iPear on Apr 01 '07 at 8:47pm

revenge is not the answer, what did no one watch the Simpsons today?

Polyester Jones on Apr 01 '07 at 8:47pm

um wow.

SHUNNNN him

whisper in water on Apr 01 '07 at 8:49pm

PAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Oh... my goodness.

Kitchen Patrol on Apr 01 '07 at 8:50pm

Ya. We're done. I told him apology accepted. He said he'd buy me a new, new mattress...So ya.

No. No peeing on anyone Golden Showers are not my thing

peater on Apr 01 '07 at 8:50pm

cassiepaige on Apr 01 '07 at 8:50pm

I was kind of rethinking my answer, I say you pee in his drink when he doesn't know it.

AsStarsGoOut on Apr 01 '07 at 8:50pm

once my dog peed on my bed, and when she pees, it's like GALLONS of pee. i cleaned it good, flipped the mattress over and everything was fine.

this is hilarious. What did you say to him after you woke up in his pee?

iPear on Apr 01 '07 at 8:52pm

I hope you didnt' wake up in his pee, that'd suck. I hope midstream you were like 'OH MY GOD, MAN PEEING IN BED' and Immediately you jumped out.

MeLa de Gypsie on Apr 01 '07 at 8:56pm

I was going to say... I didn't know whether to laugh or whatever... it's a funny situation...but I'd be so pissed off if someone did that to me.

how the hell do you clean a mattress when someone pees on it anyway?

Kitchen Patrol on Apr 01 '07 at 8:57pm

PEATER! I forgot all about that! it's hilarous

IPear...Thats why I'm so mindboggled...I woke up soaked in his piss! Iwas just like so you just peed all over my bed and me! What the fuck

Kitchen Patrol on Apr 01 '07 at 8:58pm

I woke up, put on dry clothes, ripped the sheets off my bed. While I did all that he asked if he should leave and all I said was "thats probably a good idea"

I wasn't mean to him. But I gotta laugh about it.....

Stevethegreat on Apr 01 '07 at 9:00pm

I need to pee

Stevethegreat on Apr 01 '07 at 9:01pm

poor guy

AsStarsGoOut on Apr 01 '07 at 9:02pm

oh man. haha.

Kitchen Patrol on Apr 01 '07 at 9:03pm

Welll...My bed is outta comission i gotta shack up with my roomie...Ugh!

Good night guys!

cassiepaige on Apr 01 '07 at 9:03pm

Ew, Emily my dog peed on my bed before too. Luckily my blanket got most of it, and I think Lysol took over the rest after I soaked it up.

My old cat peed on my Bert & Ernie Beanbag chair. :(

little g on Apr 01 '07 at 9:04pm

My own sister. Peed on. The family will never recover.

oh and.. LOLZ!

kevinwells on Apr 01 '07 at 9:11pm

hahahahahahahahahahahahaa

i like to hope that it was entirely deliberate, and that he actually gets off on peeing on sleeping people. that'd be awesome.

chelly on Apr 01 '07 at 9:54pm

wow, you're all a bunch of tightwads. it isn't that huge of a deal.

sorry you got peed on and all.

iPear on Apr 01 '07 at 9:56pm

assuming that he's an adult. I don't think being drunk is a good enough excuse to pee yourself.

ever.

ekaj47 on Apr 01 '07 at 10:02pm

all i can do is laugh about this

it sucks but it is holarious

but who knows this could grow into a fetish of yours, for some reason some people like to be peeeeed on! hahaa

PuterBoy on Apr 01 '07 at 10:05pm

I read in TIME that peeing on someone is a sign of affection. So I guess he really loves you.

NatySpaghetti on Apr 01 '07 at 10:08pm

aww that sounds awful..did he have an explanation? as long as he buys you a new bed and makes up for the awful experience than i guess its all good..it is kinda funny..in the future you might have a good laugh xD

El_Dictador_Cubano on Apr 01 '07 at 10:11pm

oh my... dear god.

that would qualify for a deal breaker. You think the mattress factory has warranties for when you get peed on by shitfaced people you're seeing?

Khol on Apr 01 '07 at 10:16pm

Make him pay for a new mattress

peater on Apr 01 '07 at 10:21pm

This actually happens quite often in college. But usually, the bed is unoccupied and the peeing is done from a standing position.

jpiatt on Apr 01 '07 at 10:27pm

hahahaha oh my god...
I get shitfaced all the time. Thank god I have a strong bladder cause I've never done that. My friend Brett does it all the time though. He pisses himself almost everytime he drinks. It's so gross. He's peed on like 5 girls that I know of. I can't imagine how shitty that would be.

angelito on Apr 01 '07 at 10:28pm

ruh roh.

giggle giggle

amaliaslash on Apr 01 '07 at 10:31pm

haha, at least it wasn't like in trainspotting with explosive poop on the sheets...then thrown all over your kitchen wall/your face. that would have been much, much worse.

but pee still sucks.

zempt on Apr 01 '07 at 10:34pm

That sucks but its one tale to be told for a long time to come.

Kitchen Patrol on Apr 02 '07 at 7:58am

I put a cinnamon air freshener in my room.......

IT SMELLS LIKE SOMEONE PEED IN A CINNAMON TREE!

adam antium on Apr 02 '07 at 8:02am

did you get "pissed off"? hehe :P

lemonalle on Apr 02 '07 at 8:03am

ewwww!

Kitchen Patrol on Apr 02 '07 at 8:11am

Ricco..Yes...Yes I did

adam antium on Apr 02 '07 at 8:12am

aw

how is sweeter Sam doing?
beside someone peed on a cinnamon tree

OlliRudi on Apr 02 '07 at 8:14am

maybe he dreamt that you'd been stung by a jellyfish.

Kitchen Patrol on Apr 02 '07 at 8:19am

Im doing well Ricco. Got a promotion at work..Yay!

adam antium on Apr 02 '07 at 8:19am

aw nice! congrats!
now go and pee in someone's bed to celebrate! :)

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