Profile for colt83 - Home Simpson Quotes!

colt83 aka KevinTong is a 28.63 year old boy, has been a member since June 6, 2006, has scored 2,337 submissions, giving an average score of 1.22, helping 25 designs get printed.

URL: http://www.kt-illustration-seq.blogspot.com

Aug 02 '07 by colt83
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Home Simpson Quotes!

With the whole Simpsons craze going on, I thought we could all sit back and remember the good ole' times when Homer was there for us. I'll start with my Homer quotations and in the comments, feel free to add your own Homer quaotations. The funnier and stupider, the better. If the quote needs a brief synopsis or other chatacter's quotes that's cool too.

"Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel."-Homer J. Simspon

"Is it groin grabbingly good?"- Homer J. Simpson

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lemonalle on Aug 02 '07 at 4:04pm

"They have the Internet on computers now?"

"Please don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them. "

"Mmmm... unexplained bacon."

colt83 on Aug 02 '07 at 4:06pm

Good ones lemonalle.

"Save me Jeebus, Save me"

WallsReallyWork on Aug 02 '07 at 4:09pm

thanks to olli ealrier today, i remember this one...

"Going cold turkey is never as delicious as it sounds"

Cactus Pirate Jr. on Aug 02 '07 at 4:12pm

Lisa: Dad, what's a muppet?

Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, and it's not quite a puppet, but man...[laughs hysterically]

...so to answer your question I don't know.

Butterfly07 on Aug 02 '07 at 4:16pm

"Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs. "

juliejeremiah on Aug 02 '07 at 4:21pm

Homer: "Oh Lord, why do you mock me?!"

Marge: "That's not God, that's just a waffle Bart threw up there."

Homer: "I know I should not eat thee Lord, but....mmm....sacrelicious."

juliejeremiah on Aug 02 '07 at 4:27pm

You don't win friends with salad!!

koolest_chicken_91 on Aug 02 '07 at 4:28pm

lisa:that is good dad. what would Jesus do?

Homer: JESUS? i thought it was gepetto?

stubby43 on Aug 02 '07 at 4:31pm

Homer (sung to the Flintstones song): Simpson! Homer Simpson! He's the greatest guy in history. From the, Town of Springfield! He's about to hit a chestnut tree! hits tree

stubby43 on Aug 02 '07 at 4:32pm

Homer: Here's to alcohol, the cause of�and solution to�all life's problems.

stubby43 on Aug 02 '07 at 4:33pm

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

jess4002 on Aug 02 '07 at 4:33pm

"Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?"

"Look at this country! U R Gay?! Haha! (looking at Uruguay on the globe)."

jess4002 on Aug 02 '07 at 4:36pm

Master: Approach, my sons. You may ask me three questions.

Apu: That's great, because all I need is one -

Homer: Are you reallythe head of the Kwik-E-Mart?

Master: Yes.

Homer: Really?

Master: Yes.

Homer: You?

Master: Yes. I hope this has been enlightening for you.

Apu: But I must -

Master: Thank you, come again.

Apu: But -

Master: Thank you, come again.

koolest_chicken_91 on Aug 02 '07 at 4:40pm

Oh my God! Marge is a cat? but i did suspect that during the sex.

stubby43 on Aug 02 '07 at 4:50pm

"Homer: I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?

"

CharlesFesta on Aug 02 '07 at 4:55pm

Are you looking for a girl but tired of the bar scene.. Homer: No....I will never tire of the bar scene.........

skafiend007 on Aug 02 '07 at 5:02pm

(Singing) "I am smart! I am smart! S-M-R-T... I mean, S-M-A-R-T..."

skafiend007 on Aug 02 '07 at 5:06pm

The Critic (guest starring on the Simpsons): Well, Camus can do, but Satre is smarter.

Homer: (trying to prove he's just as smart) Well, Scooby Doo can doo-doo....

jess4002 on Aug 02 '07 at 5:19pm

Homer: What's a wedding? Webster's dictionary describes it as the act of removing weeds from one's garden.

professorE on Aug 02 '07 at 5:25pm

Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do..?

Tonteau on Aug 02 '07 at 5:27pm

"If he's so smart, how come he's dead?"

thekevinmcgraw on Aug 02 '07 at 5:29pm

"I can't believe we met James Bond!"

(after meeting Tony Blair)

"According to this box of animal crackers there IS NO river here... *Starts to step off boat*"

ISABOA on Aug 02 '07 at 5:29pm

"i call that one bitey"

FRICKINAWESOME on Aug 02 '07 at 5:29pm

"I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there listening, please save me Superman!!!!!"

FRICKINAWESOME on Aug 02 '07 at 5:30pm

juliejeremiah on Aug 02 '07 at 4:27pm

You don't win friends with salad!!

My friends and i in college always chanted that!!!

colt83 on Aug 02 '07 at 6:55pm

You guys thought of good ones. Here are mine:

Homer: I feel that if a gun is good enough to protect something as important as a bar, then its good enough to protect my family.

Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...

Homer: Is it Batman?

Marge: No, he's a scientist.

Homer: Batman's a scientist?!

Marge: It's not Batman!

FRICKINAWESOME on Aug 02 '07 at 6:58pm

We'll be rich! As rich as astronauts!!!!

professorE on Aug 03 '07 at 10:27am

Ten thousand dollars!?! With that much money, we'll be millionaires!!!

deboraborialis on Aug 03 '07 at 10:35am

First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.

deboraborialis on Aug 03 '07 at 10:37am

Oh Lisa! You and your stories! Bart is a vampire! Beer kills brain-cells! Now lets go back to that...building...thingy... where our beds and TV...is.

deboraborialis on Aug 03 '07 at 10:38am

Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But lets just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.

iPear on Aug 03 '07 at 10:38am

Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?

Homer: Yes. -machine thing blowz up-

deboraborialis on Aug 03 '07 at 10:39am

This is my all time favourite...

Mmmm...Sacrelicious!

deboraborialis on Aug 03 '07 at 10:40am

Hey there, Blimpy Boy, flying through the sky so fancy.. free.. (sobs at the end)

iPear on Aug 03 '07 at 10:42am

If he's so smart, how come he's dead?

iPear on Aug 03 '07 at 10:43am

It's not just a store - it's a Megastore! 'Mega' means 'good',' 'store' means 'thing.'

FRICKINAWESOME on Aug 03 '07 at 11:05am

Oooohhhh Marge, I'll be making people happyyyy! I'm the happy man from magical land, living in a gum-drop house on Lollipop Laaaaaaaaaaane!

Oh by the way, i was being sarcastic.

Torakamikaze on Aug 03 '07 at 11:09am

Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!

Marge: HOMER!

Homer: I gotta go Moe my damn weiner kids are listening.

FRICKINAWESOME on Aug 03 '07 at 11:17am

What did you do with the Junior Campers today, Bart? Did they show you how to sing to trees, or make crappy furniture out of forest creatures?

*Chair breaks that Homer is sitting in*

Stupid poetic justice!

EvenStephen on Aug 03 '07 at 11:18am

What's that, boy? You're in control?

Torakamikaze on Aug 03 '07 at 11:19am

Oh, sorry Bart. I didn't know you, Jay Leno and a monkey were bathing a clown.

oa7mov on Aug 03 '07 at 11:23am

DOH!

skafiend007 on Aug 03 '07 at 11:24am

I'm going to screw this one up but...

"I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals fl-LAAAAY-ming."

"The only guys who wear Hawaiian shirts are gay guys and big fat party animals."

FRICKINAWESOME on Aug 03 '07 at 11:25am

Yeah, that's what they all say. They all say "d'oh."

FRICKINAWESOME on Aug 03 '07 at 11:26am

Sorry, that one was the chief wiggum reply to oa7mov's comment.

Shafiend, i love homer's realizxation after that line:

And Bart doesn't look like a big fat party animal!

skafiend007 on Aug 03 '07 at 11:26am

"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."

skafiend007 on Aug 03 '07 at 11:28am

FRICKIN!!!

That's probably my all time favorite line (although it's said by Chief Wiggum)

"Homer Simpson, you're under arrest for the murder of Mr. Burns!"

"D'oh!"

"yeah, that's what they all say... they all say d'oh."

My friends got sick of me saying that line all day. It still makes me laugh.

jess4002 on Aug 03 '07 at 11:31am

Marge: Homer, you don't have to pray out loud.

Homer: Marge...he's way the hell up there!

FRICKINAWESOME on Aug 03 '07 at 11:32am

hehehe...yeah, that line is fantastically amazing. And probably the best commerical act break in Simpsons history.

That one and the completely amazing drunk Homer roast show that was on that one comeback season somewhere around the 13th-14th season where everything turned amazing for a short period again.

You'll all liars!!!! It's all secrets and lies! Secrets and lies!!!

skafiend007 on Aug 03 '07 at 11:34am

Another non-Homer, non-main character line I like is when Bart and his friends are spying on Lisa who is pretending to be a college student and as they're sneaking around (with that weird voice) says, "Oh, I feel just like Harriet the spy..."

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