Threadless T-Shirts - Profile for iDanSimpson - Sometimes I want to punch a stranger.

iDanSimpson is a 24.13 year old boy, has been a member since May 23, 2006, has scored 30907 submissions, giving an average score of 1.91.

URL: http://www.threadless.com?streetteam=iDanSimpson
AIM: iDanSimpson

Jun 27 '08 by iDanSimpson

38 Comments

Watch this

Sometimes I want to punch a stranger.

Listen, it's Friday night and you're on the Threadless blogs, you got 5 minutes to listen to this. Just do it. It's amazing. Here's what the website says:

In all my years of studying douchebaggery, never have i encountered anything like this. It’s such pure and unadulterated douche that I wish I could bottle it and use just a drop of it at a time.

The back story on this is that a girl named Olga was out with her friends in the Marina district of San Francisco (known for being a popular hang out for douches), and she talked to this guy named Dmitri for all of two minutes. Then she gave him her card and said “give me a call.” The above is the messages he left. Listen to the whole thing, it just keeps getting better and better. I won’t even tell you my favorite parts because i don’t want to ruin anything. Just listen.

ofthecoast on Jun 27 '08 at 8:27pm

why does he say "particular" like "paticular"?

iPear on Jun 27 '08 at 8:28pm

Oh man, this guy. I can't even believe it. That second message...jeeze.

0Jim0 on Jun 27 '08 at 8:29pm

I often punch strangers, especially people like this.
As a matter of fact, I can picture this douche bag right now.

and I'll tell him how it's gonna work, I'll assume he knows I'm going to punch him in the face and I bet he's great a bleeding and hitting the ground!

O I'm I'm going to do it at 3pm tomorrow.

HW. on Jun 27 '08 at 8:29pm

I'm one of the few men in the city with nothing wrong with him.

...

iDanSimpson on Jun 27 '08 at 8:30pm

It's dudes like this, and the girls that respond favorably, that make me hate typical night life.

DaniellesGarden on Jun 27 '08 at 8:30pm

i dont know any girls that would respond to that favorably.. your talking to the wrong girls dan

hanzabean on Jun 27 '08 at 8:31pm

That was crazy.

iDanSimpson on Jun 27 '08 at 8:32pm

DaniellesGarden on Jun 27 '08 at 8:30pm
i dont know any girls that would respond to that favorably.. your talking to the wrong girls dan

that's just the thing! people like us don't know people like that in real life. we just view them from afar and judge.

iPear on Jun 27 '08 at 8:33pm

the power of snooping has awarded me this. Not real! Doctored!
http://www.eyeweekly.com/city/features/article/22843

it's still hilarious though.

DaniellesGarden on Jun 27 '08 at 8:37pm

i dunno. i think girls that like that sort of thing have no self respect and there might be reasons for it, but these are also the girls that don't date the nice guys the guys that would actually treat them with respect. I married the nice guy that other girls passed up and chose to have as a friend because they wanted to date the douches.

anyway the guy leaving the message is a definite douche.

NomadSlim on Jun 27 '08 at 8:37pm

She is lucky she didn't answer the first time, that shit might have come out a little at a time further down the road. Hopefully he jumped off a bridge by now.

iPear on Jun 27 '08 at 8:37pm

wrong article.

But yeah, that thing has apparently been circulating the interweb since 05.

iPear on Jun 27 '08 at 8:39pm

okay, it's not fake. He's real, he's a pick up artist or something. or is it? i'm so confused.

iPear on Jun 27 '08 at 8:44pm

Douchebag Radio Interview

http://www.dimitrithelover.com/

0Jim0 on Jun 27 '08 at 8:44pm

yea, I read the thing and I'm a little confused myself..

Daniel San on Jun 27 '08 at 11:01pm

What a pimp.

shakethesheets on Jun 27 '08 at 11:11pm

he says "assume" strangely as well.

wow... "if you're on any sort of medication for anxiety or depression, don't call me."

edean on Jun 27 '08 at 11:14pm

i like that he made it seem like there were problems with her because she didn't respond to his first call, and who would when the guy was being that big of a d-bag

cassiepaige on Jun 27 '08 at 11:22pm

Psychologically Normal

mz. kat-ii on Jun 27 '08 at 11:38pm

i kinda wanna run this guy over with my car...

iDanSimpson on Jun 27 '08 at 11:40pm

that would be a waste of a bumper.

Sarcasticatbest on Jun 27 '08 at 11:43pm

*begins e-castration

Seriously.

and from the article "Paul Bernardo Syndrome"? ouch.

Neon Samurai on Jun 27 '08 at 11:53pm

Um, wow. It has just become amazingly clear that I'm going about the whole "dating" thing totally wrong - I think I may need a personality make over.

Who's with me.

Neon Samurai on Jun 27 '08 at 11:53pm

cassiepaige on Jun 27 '08 at 11:54pm

I would like to take this guy to lunch and talk to him.
It would be hilarious.

viralVISUAL on Jun 28 '08 at 12:03am

You're all just jealous cause he's a keeper

avalanche_lily on Jun 28 '08 at 12:13am

FA_REAK!

Sarcasticatbest on Jun 28 '08 at 12:14am

Keeper of what?

raidernator on Jun 28 '08 at 12:16am

"Believe it or not, I'm a complete catch"

No sir, you my friend are a complete waste of human flesh and should be burned alive and eaten by starving children.

nicke on Jun 28 '08 at 12:21am

Sarcasticatbest on Jun 28 '08 at 12:14am
Keeper of what?

Herpes

goldensara on Jun 28 '08 at 12:22am

lol @ "let the romance begin"

marblecargirl on Jun 28 '08 at 12:26am

wow... too bad you can't hear his whole number. i'd like to give this winner a call.

SnakeMan on Jun 28 '08 at 12:58am

i don't about you guys, but i'm in love.

Jebbie on Jun 28 '08 at 1:13am

In soviet russia, sometimes a stranger wants to punch you

SnakeMan on Jun 28 '08 at 1:16am

in america, sometimes kayce wants to punch you.

in the face.

Jebbie on Jun 28 '08 at 1:19am

Omgosh the second message is awesome.

Jebbie on Jun 28 '08 at 1:19am

In america, sometimes kayce wants to punch you.

in the face.

always.

jayrawz on Jun 28 '08 at 1:44am

bwahahaha.. he probably has a long distance relationship with every girl he's ever met...

o and this is a picture of the guy on the phone..

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24. boy. mechanical pencils and puma shoes. i never really mean anything that i say here. what else do you need to know?

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