!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm In An Exclamatory Mood Today !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
of 41 votes, 24% like it
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"Don't Quote Me on This!" - Me
of 45 votes, 22% like it
|
"Excuse Me While I Slip Onto Someone More Comfortable."
of 44 votes, 16% like it
|
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"What if We ARE in the Matrix!?!" Said the Stoned Teen
of 36 votes, 11% like it
|
"X" Marks the Wrong Test Answer.
of 46 votes, 17% like it
|
'For A Limited Time' on TV Really Means 'Until the End of Time'.
of 44 votes, 9% like it
|
|
'I Have The Best Quote Ever On My T-Shirt.' -Me
of 21 votes, 14% like it
|
'I' 'Survived' 'the' 'Apostrophe' 'Catastrophe.'
of 49 votes, 24% like it
|
'Only the Good Die Young' Is Far From the Truth in Videogames.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
|
|
'Thunder And Lightning Is Very Very Frightening.' -Galileo
of 18 votes, 28% like it
|
(baby) Of Course I Cry. I See What's Up People's Noses All Day.
of 35 votes, 9% like it
|
(For Babies) I Saw It With My Own Eyes: My Daddy is Santa Claus!
of 4 votes, 25% like it
|
|
(For Babies) Is My Hair Gonna Grow, Or Am I Already Going Bald?
of 31 votes, 23% like it
|
(For Babies) Why Are Adults More Amused By Cartoons Than I Am?
of 29 votes, 14% like it
|
(front) Should Be on the Back. (back) Should Be on the Front.
of 31 votes, 16% like it
|
|
(Front) +3 Magic Armor ; (Back) -52 Popularity Magnet
of 42 votes, 10% like it
|
(front) It Was The Chicken. (back) It Was The Egg.
of 35 votes, 31% like it
|
(front) My Good Cop Profile / (back) My Bad Cop Profile
of 38 votes, 11% like it
|
|
(glow) This Sentence Looks Much Cooler At Night.
of 31 votes, 35% like it
|
(grammar junkies and astronomers love looking at solar ellipses)
of 20 votes, 20% like it
|
(In An MPAA box) THIS LIFE IS NOT YET RATED.
of 44 votes, 9% like it
|
|
(in big type) ROAR! (in small type) did my t-shirt scare you?
of 27 votes, 26% like it
|
(in big type) WORD. (in small) and here's a few more words too.
of 23 votes, 4% like it
|
(in Braille w/english translation below) Please Don't Touch!
of 45 votes, 22% like it
|
|
(in cut-out-letter typeface) I LOVE WRITING RANSOM NOTES
of 38 votes, 18% like it
|
(in gold foil) Shiny Things Distract Me Too!
of 50 votes, 30% like it
|
(in gold print): I HATE ATTENTION SEEKERS!!!
of 33 votes, 15% like it
|
|
(in tiny writing) bigger is better.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
|
(like a store sign) My Mind: Yes, We're Open!
of 11 votes, 9% like it
|
(Note On Back of Shirt): Gone On Banana Pilgrimage / -Monkey
of 33 votes, 9% like it
|
|
(numbers ALL over the shirt) I'm Told There's Safety In Numbers.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
|
(on a red shirt) This Shirt is Really Yellow in Disguise.
of 101 votes, 9% like it
|
(on a road sign) FINGER CROSSING
of 32 votes, 13% like it
|
|
(on a slant) Do You Ever Get A Sinking Feeling?
of 29 votes, 24% like it
|
(on a wifebeater) This Shirt In No Way Supports Spousal Abuse.
of 79 votes, 25% like it
|
(on back) Backstabbers, Please Take Your Knives Elsewhere!
of 115 votes, 50% like it
|
|
(on back) I'm Not A Fan Of Backstabbers.
of 47 votes, 23% like it
|
(on front) Sometimes My Reactions Are a Bit... (on back) Delayed.
of 48 votes, 21% like it
|
(on green) Wearing This Color is Actually Pretty Damned Easy.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
|
|
(on red) Boy, Is My Face and Shirt Read.
of 40 votes, 18% like it
|
(on red) I'm Extremely Well-Red.
of 39 votes, 21% like it
|
(on yellow) This is My Camouflage To Blend in With Yellow Snow.
of 30 votes, 7% like it
|
|
(out-of-focus) I'm So Glad I Have 20/20 Eyesight.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
|
(reversed) I Love Chasing Ambulances.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
|
(road sign) CAUTION: Falling Stars For The Next 25,000 Miles.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
|
|
(tiny writing on shirt) so this is what you look like squinting.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
|
(upside-down) I'm A Hand-Stand Enthusiast.
of 27 votes, 33% like it
|
(w/a drawing of eyeglasses) Does My Slogan Seem More Intelligent?
of 33 votes, 12% like it
|
|
(with a paint brush and splashes) Who Arted?
of 33 votes, 24% like it
|
(WITH GLOSSY INK) Shiny Stuff Distracts Me Too.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
|
(Written In a Circle) Who Says Nothing Lasts Forever?
of 7 votes, 14% like it
|
|
*Grammatical Danger Seekers Love To Take AsteRISKS.
of 37 votes, 35% like it
|
*obscure pop culture reference only myself and five others get*
of 26 votes, 19% like it
|
+H!$ $H!R+ !$ M@/) $YMB0/_ ! <
of 48 votes, 6% like it
|
|
100 People Were Surveyed and the #1 Answer Was "You".
of 47 votes, 13% like it
|
18 Out of 23 People Agree That This is a Strange Number to Sample
of 44 votes, 25% like it
|
2 Things About Me: I'm the Best Thing Ever & Incredibly Humbl
of 2 votes, 0% like it
|
|
2 Things About Me: I'm the Best Thing Ever and Incredibly Humble.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
|
2nd Grade: A Golden Age For the "Rubber/Glue" Comeback
of 35 votes, 14% like it
|
4 of 5 Insane Doctors Regularly Prescribe The Silent Treatment.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
|
|
4 Out of 5 Doctors Agree That Doctors Agreeing Means Nothing
of 48 votes, 17% like it
|
4 Out of 5 Doctors Agree That You Do Not Exist.
of 53 votes, 23% like it
|
4 Out of 5 People Agree That the Most Popular Answer Is Right.
of 47 votes, 30% like it
|
|
4 Out of 5 People Prefer Actual Cake to Urinal Cakes.
of 37 votes, 24% like it
|
5 Out of 5 Dead People Agree That Silence is Golden.
of 35 votes, 17% like it
|
5 Out Of 5 People Agree They Are Dumb/Don't Listen To Questions.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
|
|
5 Out of 5 Zombies Agree: BRAIIIIIIINS!!!!
of 34 votes, 18% like it
|
90% of the Time I'm Right; 20% of the Time I'm Just Being Ironic.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
|
A Can Play Two Double-Guitars At Once.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
|
|
A Chainsaw Beats Rocks, Paper, Scissors.
of 312 votes, 29% like it
|
A Chemistree Is Hard To Plant Because Of Its Square Roots.
of 29 votes, 31% like it
|
A Deer Caught In Headlights Feels A Lot Like This.
of 31 votes, 23% like it
|
|
A Dollar Coin is Money That Hasn't Yet Evolved.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
|
A Family Of Skeletons Keep All Their Clothes In My Closet.
of 32 votes, 31% like it
|
A Fear Of Flying Is Odd Because I Wasn't Aware Humans Could Fly.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
|
|
A Fortune Cookie Told Me I'd Change The World One Day. In Bed.
of 42 votes, 36% like it
|
A Friend of My Cousin's Sister Created All the Urban Legends
of 46 votes, 24% like it
|
A Hitman Comedian Slays His Audience Every Night
of 39 votes, 13% like it
|
|
A Homosapien Is Just a Link on the Chain Towards Floating Brains
of 46 votes, 11% like it
|
A Key Grip's Real Job is Murdering People For the Director.
of 29 votes, 14% like it
|
A Lawyer's Favorite Amusement Park Ride Is 'The Loophole'.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
|
|
A Leap Of Faith Is Easier To Land If You Plan It All Out First.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
|
A Librarian Once Gave Me A Speed Reading Ticket.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
|
A Lifetime of Wrongs Don't Make a Last Rite.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
|
|
A Magician's Best Trick Is Making Their Coolness Disappear.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
|
A Mirror Is Never the Same After Its First Break-Up.
of 37 votes, 27% like it
|
A Mouse Is Easier To Catch When It's Attached To Your Computer.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
|
|
A Ninja's Imaginary Friend Is Easier To Spot Than The Ninja.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
|
A Once-in-a-Lifetime Miracle Just Happened Behind You.
of 212 votes, 32% like it
|
A Penny Saved Is Another Penny To Be Lost In The Couch Cushion.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
|
|
A Person Who Can Do Almost Everything Can Actually Do Nothing.
of 37 votes, 16% like it
|
A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Of These Things.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
|
A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words, A Frame Only An Ellipses.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
|
|
A Picture Is Worth More But Not As Cool As This Shirt.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
|
A Pinky Swear Is Still Considered Cursing.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
|
A Rap Star's Part-Time Job is Throwing Money At Cameras.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
|
|
A RONDAM T-SRIHT PORGARM CMAE UP WTIH TIHS SLOAGN.
of 42 votes, 5% like it
|
A Rose By Any Other Name Is A Different Flower.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
|
A Satanist's Worse Fear is Going to Heaven.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
|
|
A Smiling Flamethrower is Not a Good Example of Friendly Fire.
of 41 votes, 10% like it
|
A Store's Penny Tray Can Buy You A Lifetime Supply Of Thoughts.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
|
A Ton of Falling Bricks Are Really Good at Flattery.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
|
|
A Vampire's Least Favorite Food Is Stake.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
|
A Vomitorium is NOT What It Sounds Like.
of 44 votes, 5% like it
|
A Vulcan Serial Killer is Psycho Logical.
of 33 votes, 9% like it
|
|
A Waffle Iron Makes Your Shirt All Sticky.
of 41 votes, 20% like it
|
A Wrinkle In Time Caused The Cosmos To Get A Face-Lift.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
|
A Wrinkle in Time Needs to Be Ironed Properly.
of 38 votes, 34% like it
|
|
ABRACADABRA!: The Ultimate Curse Word.
of 31 votes, 13% like it
|
Achieving Immortality Is A Cause Worth Dying For
of 106 votes, 17% like it
|
ACHIEVING IMMORTALITY: Finally, A Cause Worth Dying For.
of 40 votes, 13% like it
|
|
Acrobats Do Cartwheels in Their Graves Instead of Spinning.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
|
Act 1: U Read Shirt Act 2: U Are Confused Act 3: U Get the Joke!
of 27 votes, 15% like it
|
Action Movies Are In Need Of Some Hugs & A Poetry Reading.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
|
|
Action Movies Have Explosions, Thrillers Have Dancing Zombies.
of 36 votes, 36% like it
|
Action Movies Speak Louder Than Critic's Blurbs.
of 45 votes, 9% like it
|
Actions Speak Louder Than Words Only To Insane People.
of 20 votes, 30% like it
|
|
ADD. It's as Easy as One, Two, Trees.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
|
Addition Signs Are Really Two Lines Gettin' It On.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
|
Adjectives Are Quite Wonderful, Delightful, Fantastic.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
|
|
Admiring Rainbows Doesn't Neccassarily Make You A Gay Leprechaun.
of 151 votes, 38% like it
|
Admit It, You Were Hoping This Shirt Was About You, Weren't You?
of 34 votes, 18% like it
|
Adorable, Fluffy Kittens Wanted For Useless & Painful Experiments
of 66 votes, 21% like it
|
|
Adventurous Musicians Love to Bar Hop.
of 41 votes, 7% like it
|
Adverbs Are Astronomically, Unimaginably, Fantastically Cool.
of 34 votes, 24% like it
|
After Building a Middle School, Some Assemblies Are Required.
of 48 votes, 25% like it
|
|
After Exercising, I Can Open Up My Own Sweat Shop.
of 39 votes, 15% like it
|
After Much Soul Searching, I Hired a Detective Agency To Find It.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
|
After Much Soul Searching, I Remembered It Was Under the Car Seat
of 47 votes, 36% like it
|
|
After Reading This, Whatever I Say Has GOT To Be More Clever.
of 46 votes, 13% like it
|
After Reading This, Your Eyes Will Self-Destruct In 3,2,1...
of 32 votes, 13% like it
|
against all odds, my heart remains as open as a child's eyes.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
|
|
Air Ducts are Quite Good at Venting Their Frustrations
of 39 votes, 10% like it
|
Air Has a Monopoly on the Entire Breathing Marketplace.
of 38 votes, 26% like it
|
Air Pollution Is Really Us Giving the Earth a Sinus Infection.
of 36 votes, 19% like it
|
|
Aliens Are Always Looking Down On Earthlings.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
|
Aliens Are So Xenophobic.
of 51 votes, 14% like it
|
Aliens Eat Their Dinners on Saucers
of 88 votes, 14% like it
|
|
All A Volcano Needs Is A Hot Spa Treatment To Settle Down.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
|
All Atlantis Needed Was a Really Good Plumber
of 202 votes, 34% like it
|
All I Got From the Boston Tee Party Was This Lousy Shirt.
of 36 votes, 14% like it
|
|
All I Hear Are Charlie Brown's Trombone Parents When You Talk
of 28 votes, 4% like it
|
All It Takes Is One Power Pellet To Rid A Haunted House Of Ghosts
of 17 votes, 12% like it
|
All My Favorite Videogame Plumbers Travel At Warp Speed.
of 27 votes, 41% like it
|
|
All Of The Funniest T-Shirts Weren't On Sale.
of 19 votes, 37% like it
|
All Stereotypes Have Stupid Looking Letters
of 52 votes, 6% like it
|
All the People Who Speak in Absolutes Make Me Sick.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
|
|
All the Personalities In My Head Use Their Inside Voices
of 36 votes, 19% like it
|
All The World's A Stage, But I Have Terrible Stage Fright.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
|
All This Pointless Violence in Life Makes Me Wanna Break Things.
of 42 votes, 17% like it
|
|
All Those Stolen Glances At Me Could Wind You Up in the Slammer.
of 48 votes, 15% like it
|
Alternative Energy Sources Are Grungy And Wear Too Much Flannel.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
|
Always Eat Your Vegetables, But Never Eat A Mushroom Cloud.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
|
|
Always Question Advice You Read Off Of T-Shirts.
of 32 votes, 9% like it
|
Always Trust Ur Instincts, Unless They Tell You To Punch a Zebra.
of 85 votes, 34% like it
|
Always Trust Your Instincts, Unless They Tell U To Punch a Zebra
of 123 votes, 16% like it
|
|
Am I Going Insane, Or is That Just a Bunch of Crazy Talk?
of 54 votes, 15% like it
|
Am I the ONLY One Still Using Friendster?!?!?!
of 21 votes, 0% like it
|
Am I the ONLY One Still Using Kazaa?!?!?!?
of 21 votes, 5% like it
|
|
Americans and Mexicans Agree: 'No' Means 'No'!
of 39 votes, 21% like it
|
An Air Gun Is The Best Way To Hunt Dust Bunnies.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
An Apple a Day Keeps Adam and Eve in Eternal Sin.
of 42 votes, 29% like it
|
|
An Artichoke Warns You Right In Its Name Not To Eat It.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
|
An Asteroid Belt Makes A Fashionable Planetary Accessory.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
|
An Avalanche is Really Mountain Dandruff
of 38 votes, 13% like it
|
|
An Eye For An Eye Isn't So Bad If You're Into Eyepatch Fashion.
of 36 votes, 39% like it
|
Ancient Rome is Totally Ruined.
of 44 votes, 20% like it
|
And that's how fireworks are made.
of 30 votes, 7% like it
|
|
Anecdote Me.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
|
Angel/Devil Couples Have Extremely Long-Distance Relationships.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
|
Angels Not Old Enough For the Real Thing Play Harp Hero.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
|
|
Angry Sentences Make Cross Words.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
|
Annoyed at the hardcore penetration of sexual innuendo on shirts
of 26 votes, 8% like it
|
Anti-Pasta Salads Are Biased Against Rigatoni.
of 53 votes, 9% like it
|
|
Any Car Can Be a Compact If You Hit Enough Trees.
of 48 votes, 33% like it
|
Any Minefields Are Now Considered Yourfields.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
|
Apathetic People, Wave Ur Hands in the Air Like U Just Don't Care
of 46 votes, 20% like it
|
|
Archaeologists Have Lots Of Bones To Pick.
of 31 votes, 23% like it
|
Architects Construct Ideas; Philosophers Deconstruct Ideas.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
|
Are "Fun Size" Candy Portions Trying To Be Ironic?
of 17 votes, 18% like it
|
|
Are the Men With Nets From the Booby Hatch Gone Yet?
of 25 votes, 4% like it
|
Are We Too Dependant On Technology? Click Your Mouse Once For Yes
of 26 votes, 27% like it
|
Are You Hearing Voices In Your Head While Reading This?
of 39 votes, 18% like it
|
|
Aren't Rhetorical Questions Awesome?
of 50 votes, 12% like it
|
Arm Bands Never Break a Sweat While They Rock Out.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
|
Arrows Are So Pushy, Always Telling You Which Way To Go.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Arrows On One Way Signs Aren't The Boss Of Me.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
Art is the Alternative Energy Power Source I Thrive On.
of 32 votes, 22% like it
|
Art Museums Are Worth A Million Words.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
|
|
Artists Are Always Broke From Overdrawing Their Bank Accounts.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
|
Artists Are So Broke Because Their Bank Accounts Are Overdrawn.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
|
Artists Build Their Homes Out of Construction Paper.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
|
|
As Opposed to Men, the Earth Gets Bigger the Colder it Becomes.
of 41 votes, 17% like it
|
As Time Has Shown Us, Flava Flav Was Obviously the Talented One.
of 47 votes, 17% like it
|
Ask Me About My Love For Answering Questions
of 42 votes, 24% like it
|
|
Ask Me About My Love Of Talking.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
|
Ask Me For Directions to the Secret Warp Door.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
|
Aspiring Clergymen Who Climb Up the Ranks Wear Cross-Trainers.
of 34 votes, 15% like it
|
|
Aspiring Priests Like to Jog in Cross-Trainers
of 53 votes, 19% like it
|
Asterisks Are So Motherf**king Awesome!
of 66 votes, 33% like it
|
Astronauts Are Constantly Breaking the Law of Gravity.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
|
|
Astronauts Are Only In It For the Free Parachute Ride.
of 53 votes, 32% like it
|
Astronauts Tend To Need More Space Than The Rest Of Us.
of 25 votes, 36% like it
|
Astronauts Would Hate It If Their Shuttle Was A Secret Missile.
of 31 votes, 32% like it
|
|
Astronomers Are Only Watching Stars Undress From Their Telescopes
of 46 votes, 20% like it
|
Astronomers Are the Peeping Toms of the Galaxy
of 37 votes, 24% like it
|
At Least Look Me In the Eye When You're Staring At Me.
of 33 votes, 18% like it
|
|
At Least Look Me in the Eye While You're Reading My Shirt.
of 45 votes, 24% like it
|
At Least My Emotional Baggage Has Really Cute Love Handles.
of 38 votes, 34% like it
|
At Least Pollution Turns Our Water Supplies Pretty Colors.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
|
|
At This Stage of My Life, I'm Only a Mildly Perturbed Scientist.
of 44 votes, 30% like it
|
At Times, My Grandfather Clock Forgets Where To Put His Hands.
of 39 votes, 21% like it
|
At Times, My Grandfather Clock Forgets Where To Put Its Hands.
of 38 votes, 16% like it
|
|
Atari E.T. Record Holder For Most Time Spent Stuck in a Hole
of 24 votes, 4% like it
|
Athlete's Foot Is Not As Bad As Missle Toe.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
|
Athlete's Foot Is Not Nearly As Painful As Missle Toe.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Atoms Split When Their Relationships Are Going Nowhere.
of 41 votes, 37% like it
|
Awesome Chase Sequence Needed For a Future Film About My Life
of 145 votes, 17% like it
|
Babble-On Was the Ancient City of Talk Show Hosts.
of 38 votes, 24% like it
|
|
Babies: Give Them a Little Time, and They'll Grow on You.
of 50 votes, 24% like it
|
Baby Astronauts Sometimes Need Boosters For Their Rocket Seats.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
|
Baby Birds Looking Through Windows from Treetops Are Peeping.
of 34 votes, 6% like it
|
|
Baby Cameras Love to Play With Dollies.
of 40 votes, 5% like it
|
Baby Talk is a Universal Language.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
|
Back In My Day We Only Had T-Shirts With Words On Them.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
|
|
Back in My Day, Slogans Were Only Made For Billboards!
of 29 votes, 21% like it
|
Badminton Pros Love To Skillfully Finesse Their Shuttlecock
of 39 votes, 13% like it
|
Baked Alaska Is A Delicious Global Warming Dinner Treat.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
|
|
Baking Soda Only Comes In One Flavor: Disgusting.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
|
Ban Leprechaun Poaching. Rainbows Are Endangered!
of 8 votes, 13% like it
|
Ban Words On Shirts! Also, More Irony On Tees Please!
of 24 votes, 21% like it
|
|
Banding Together & Attacking Humans is For 'The Birds'.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
|
Banks Are Such Loaners.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
|
Banks With Only One Branch Are Such Loaners.
of 46 votes, 20% like it
|
|
Bartender, The Philosophy Major's Glass Is Half Empty, Fill It Up
of 23 votes, 22% like it
|
Baseball Diamonds Are Really Hard To Wear On Your Finger.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
|
Bathrooms Celebrate Birthdays With Urinal Cakes.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
|
|
Be A Non-Conformist. Don't Listen to What Simon Says.
of 37 votes, 22% like it
|
Be a Widescreen Personality In a Pan-And-Scan World.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
|
Be Careful of Deer Droppings From the Sky During Christmas Time.
of 54 votes, 26% like it
|
|
Be Like a Meteor Shower and Make Daily Impacts.
of 48 votes, 13% like it
|
Be The First One To Yawn To Be A Leader, Not A Follower.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
|
Bear Traps Are For Capturing Real Bears, I Use Picnic Baskets.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
|
|
Bears In Fairy Tales Live In Nicer Houses Than I Do.
of 54 votes, 39% like it
|
Beck is a Scientologist. Now I'm Scared.
of 48 votes, 6% like it
|
Bees Don't Have To Drink Much To Get A Buzz.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
|
|
Before Gravity Was Invented, It Was Very Hard Finding Your House.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
|
Being A Breadwinner Is Fun, But I Prefer Getting Paid In Money.
of 76 votes, 39% like it
|
Being A Human Cannonball Isn't So Bad Until The Pirates Attack.
of 25 votes, 32% like it
|
|
Being a Sinner Gets You Front Row Tickets to the Armageddon Show.
of 53 votes, 15% like it
|
Being Bit By a Zombie Is Only a Flesh Wound.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
|
Being Clinically Insane Means Never Having to Say "I'm Sorry
of 39 votes, 15% like it
|
|
Being In The Lap Of Luxury Is Actually Kind Of Creepy.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
|
Being Irony-Deficient is the Number One Killer of Good Jokes
of 39 votes, 18% like it
|
Being Known As The Class Clown In Clown College Is A High Honor.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
|
|
Being Lazy Sounds Like A lot Of Work.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
|
Being Mentally Challenged Every Day Keeps Your Brain In Shape.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
|
Being Sleep Deprived is Like Going to a Funhouse For Free.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
|
|
Bess Don't Have To Drink Much To Get A Buzz.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
|
Bet You Can't Make a New Word That Isn't Already in the Alphabet
of 37 votes, 5% like it
|
Betsy Ross Made a 'Blinged-Out' Version of the Flag As Well.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
|
|
Betsy Ross Recieved Plenty of Gold Stars From Her Teachers.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
|
Between The Civil And Rap Wars, All Of America Has Seen Battle.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
|
Big Fires in Winter Can Give You 3rd Degree Freezer Burns.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
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Bike Salesmen Pedal Their Wares All Over the Place.
of 45 votes, 13% like it
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Bill Gates's Home is Quietly Plotting to Take Over the World
of 50 votes, 8% like it
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Bill Gates's House = Intellectual Property
of 44 votes, 2% like it
|
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Birds Are Not Impressed By My Flying Superpowers.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
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Birds That Go Skydiving Aren't As Extreme As It Sounds.
of 46 votes, 22% like it
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Black Holes Could Really Use Some Color From The Sun.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
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Blink Your Left Eye Once If You Like To Wink.
of 30 votes, 30% like it
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Blowholes Are Like Living Water Fountains.
of 31 votes, 35% like it
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Bo Knows How to Disappear From the Spotlight
of 3 votes, 0% like it
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Bo Knows No Longer.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
|
Board Games Have Made Me Expect Money Around Parking Spaces.
of 37 votes, 19% like it
|
Bogeymen Enjoy the Nightlife.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
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Boobs: The Best Proof Against the World Not Being Flat.
of 33 votes, 18% like it
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Booby Hatch Escapee
of 41 votes, 0% like it
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Bookmarks Are Like Prisoners Kept Inside a Paper Jail Cell.
of 1 votes, 100% like it
|
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Bookmarks Are Like Prisoners Kept Inside Paper Jail Cells.
of 40 votes, 28% like it
|
Books That Are Spineless Fall Apart Under Pressure.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
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Books Written In Body Language Don't Translate Very Well.
of 52 votes, 38% like it
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Books: They're Just Like This Only Longer.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
|
Bookworms Read Too Much Into Things.
of 46 votes, 37% like it
|
Boomerang Throwing Stars Cut the Number of Ninjas in Half.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
|
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Boomerang Throwing Stars Never Caught On in the Ninja Community.
of 42 votes, 29% like it
|
Boomerang Throwing Stars Was The Ninja Class Clown's Downfall.
of 29 votes, 24% like it
|
Bosses Perfect Their Downsizing Skills At Firing Ranges.
of 53 votes, 11% like it
|
|
Both Men And Women Have Balls, It's Just In Their Eyes.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
|
Both Tennis Players And Pimps Need To Work On Their Backhand.
of 40 votes, 33% like it
|
Bottomless Pits Are Even Scarier When They Go Topless.
of 51 votes, 35% like it
|
|
Bow-Chicka-Wow!
of 35 votes, 9% like it
|
Boxers Tell The Best Punchlines.
of 33 votes, 15% like it
|
Brains Can Be So Thoughtless.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
|
|
Brains: The Thinking Person's Organ of Choice.
of 31 votes, 19% like it
|
Break The Rules So Hard They Can't Be Glued Back Together.
of 37 votes, 35% like it
|
Breast Reductions Can Lead To Long-Term Mammary Loss.
of 42 votes, 24% like it
|
|
Broken Mirrors Aren't All They're Cracked Up To Be.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
|
Broken Televisions Have Bad Self-Image Problems.
of 37 votes, 11% like it
|
Bruises Are The New Black & Blue.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
|
|
Bug Zapping is Inhumane, I Prefer Fly Lethal Injection.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
|
Building a Highway So My Ideas Don't Hurt As They Go Over Ur Head
of 38 votes, 11% like it
|
Bulls and Bears Are Nature's Monetary Experts.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
|
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But I Already Quit My Day Job! Now What Do I Do?
of 28 votes, 25% like it
|
By Chuckling At This Tee, My Laughing Stock Goes Up in Value.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
|
By My Calculations, You Should Be Done Reading This Slogan...NOW.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
|
|
By Reading This Shirt You Are Now Legally Required To Laugh.
of 31 votes, 32% like it
|
By Reading This Shirt You Have Consented To Do My Laundry
of 104 votes, 17% like it
|
By Reading This You Are Now a Member of My Fan Club.
of 38 votes, 24% like it
|
|
By Reading This You've Just Triggered My Shirt's Silent Alarm.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
|
Cache Moves Everything Around Me.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
|
Camp Fires Are Like Miniature Versions Of Hell For Marshmallows.
of 49 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Campfire Storytelling: The Original HDTV.
of 32 votes, 28% like it
|
Can I Get You To Stop Correcting My Grammar?
of 21 votes, 14% like it
|
Can Someone Tell Me What The Hell Satanism Is All About?
of 24 votes, 17% like it
|
|
Can We Bring Metaphors Back to Rap Music PLEASE?
of 21 votes, 5% like it
|
Can We Just Round Up to 3.15 And Be Done With It?
of 52 votes, 15% like it
|
Can You Age Grapes Into Wine Faster By Worrying Them?
of 23 votes, 17% like it
|
|
Candlestick Jumping: The Fairy Tale Extreme Sport Of Choice.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
|
Canine Cannibals Agree It's A Dog Eat Dog World.
of 35 votes, 31% like it
|
Capricorn = Unicorns Made Of Candy Corn.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
|
|
Care To Conspire On a Theory With Me?
of 31 votes, 19% like it
|
Careful Not To Get Waterlogged By The Size Of My Brainwaves.
of 36 votes, 11% like it
|
Careful of Theoretical Debris When Near a Deconstruction Site.
of 46 votes, 22% like it
|
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Careful, I Spilled An Entire Soda On My Last Magic Carpet Drive.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
|
Careless Artists Overdraw Their Bank Accounts.
of 30 votes, 27% like it
|
Carmen Sandiego Funds Terrorism
of 31 votes, 10% like it
|
|
Cars Run On Expensive Gas While My Body Runs On Feet.
of 63 votes, 35% like it
|
Castles Invented Moats To Keep Out People Like Me.
of 40 votes, 13% like it
|
Catapults: Just Like Trampolines, But Only Needs One Jump.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
|
|
Cats Are Glad They Live In A Dog Eat Dog World.
of 47 votes, 36% like it
|
Cats Are Tired Of Your Pus*y Jokes.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
|
Cats Create Things From Scratch.
of 50 votes, 26% like it
|
|
Cats Who Love Videogames Have Eight 1Ups.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
|
Cemeteries Are Just Future Zombie Zoos.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
|
CEO & Chairman of the Bored
of 44 votes, 16% like it
|
|
Chain Smokers Have Rusty Teeth.
of 35 votes, 34% like it
|
Chain Wallets Demand Their Freedom From Your Pants NOW!
of 40 votes, 15% like it
|
Charming Zombies Are Such Man-Eaters.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
|
|
Cheaters Are Only Cheating Themselves. To Higher Grades.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
Check Your Ego At The Door. Also, Your Coat.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
|
Chef Salad: Also Called 'Cannibal's Delight' In Some Circles.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
|
|
Chickens Are Not Too Happy About Being The Most Popular Taste.
of 39 votes, 36% like it
|
Child Temper Tantrums Were The Original Stress Release Therapy.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
|
Children Are A Great Midnight Snack. Wait, Is This Shirt On?
of 35 votes, 20% like it
|
|
Chinese Pillow Fight Torture: Not as Painful as the Alternative.
of 47 votes, 11% like it
|
Choose Clarinets Not Bayonets
of 272 votes, 19% like it
|
ChristmaHanuKwanzica Sounds Like A Scientologist Holiday
of 41 votes, 10% like it
|
|
Circles Are Good People, But They've Got No Edge To Them.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
|
Circles Are Terrible Square Dancers.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
|
Circles Sleep Around.
of 23 votes, 39% like it
|
|
Circles: You Wouldn't Like Them When They're Angle-y.
of 29 votes, 14% like it
|
Civil War Reenactments Are Like a Lazy Man's Time Travel.
of 55 votes, 29% like it
|
Clark Kent Gets All His Fast Food Super-Sized.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
|
|
Clever Shirts Are Easy. Boring Tees Take Guts To Wear.
of 30 votes, 27% like it
|
Cliche T-Shirts Are Like A Dime A Dozen.
of 31 votes, 19% like it
|
Cliff Diving: Because Even Rock Formations Need Extreme Sports.
of 39 votes, 38% like it
|
|
Cliffs Diving: The Extreme Sport That Skips to the Good Parts.
of 37 votes, 5% like it
|
Climbing Beanstalks: Not As Much Fun As Stories Make It Out To Be
of 14 votes, 14% like it
|
Clocks Have Too Much Time on Their Hands.
of 45 votes, 33% like it
|
|
Cloning Isn't Always Perfect. Cloning Isn't Always Prefect.
of 17 votes, 35% like it
|
Cloning Makes It Way More Fun to Play With Myself.
of 59 votes, 32% like it
|
Cloning Presents Is The Gift That Keeps On Giving.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
|
|
Cloning Someone Doesn't Take Much Originality.
of 50 votes, 26% like it
|
Clothes Make Me Suspicious About What Your Body's Hiding From Me.
of 31 votes, 26% like it
|
Clouds Are Nature's Warplanes Trying To Bomb Us With Acid Rain.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
|
|
Clown College is No Laughing Matter.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
|
Clowns Invest All Their Money In Laughing Stock.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
|
Clumsy DJ's Drop Mad Beats.
of 26 votes, 8% like it
|
|
Cobra Hates Us For Our Freedom.
of 62 votes, 24% like it
|
Colonel Sanders And General Tso Engage In World-Wide Food Fights.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
|
Colors That Run Live Longer Than Those That Don't.
of 45 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Coming Next Olympics: The Short & Long Distance Relationship
of 57 votes, 33% like it
|
Coming Soon: The Future! Now Our Feature Presentation:The Present
of 41 votes, 32% like it
|
Commercials Are Just Super-Sexy Mind Control.
of 36 votes, 33% like it
|
|
Computer Minesweeper is a Secret Army Recruitment Tool!
of 47 votes, 15% like it
|
Computer Nerds Like To Be Paid in Cache.
of 39 votes, 23% like it
|
Computer Nerds Like You To Pay Them in Cache.
of 3 votes, 0% like it
|
|
Con Artists Are Such Negative Illustrators.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
|
Confucius Say Wisdom Sounds Better After a Belly Full of Wontons.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
|
ConFusion: A Questionable Energy Source That Produces Lots Of Fog
of 32 votes, 25% like it
|
|
Conjunctions Are a Major Pain in the As.
of 35 votes, 17% like it
|
Conjunctions Are Such a Pain in the As.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
|
CONTENTS: 99% Sarcasm, 1% Twinkies
of 53 votes, 17% like it
|
|
Continually Fielding Questions For My Imaginary Press Conference
of 40 votes, 13% like it
|
Cookies Cutters Think Humans Are All The Same Too.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
|
Cooperation Means Others Working Together To Do Exactly As I Say.
of 42 votes, 21% like it
|
|
Cooties: The Only Made-Up Virus Less Deadly Than The Real Ones.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
|
Corn on the Cobweb Is Not As Tasty As It Sounds.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
|
Corny Jokes Are A Good Source Of Vegetables.
of 14 votes, 36% like it
|
|
Cows Pass Dairy Air
of 17 votes, 0% like it
|
Crack Isn't Nearly As Tasty As Snap, Crackle Or Pop.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
|
Crack: The Most Addictive Of All Onomatopoeia.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
|
|
Crap! I Just Saw a Pig Flying Through the Air. Now What?
of 46 votes, 11% like it
|
Crap! My Psychology is Stuck in Reverse.
of 15 votes, 7% like it
|
Crickets Are the Only Ones Who Get The Punchlines Of My Jokes.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
|
|
Criminals Who Are Bad At Grammar Receive Run-On Sentences.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
|
Crip Vampires Are Always on a Hunt For Bloods.
of 42 votes, 12% like it
|
Crossing a Milestone Means It's a Mile Walk Back As Well.
of 34 votes, 12% like it
|
|
Cruise Missles: The Chilled-Out Showboats of Heavy Artillery.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
|
Crunk Bears From the South Go Into Hyphynation in the Winter.
of 35 votes, 9% like it
|
Cubicles = Voluntary Jail Cells With Internet Access.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
|
|
Cucumbers Tend To Lose Their Cool When Being Eaten.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
|
Cupid Showed Me Tough Love With a Scalping After the Arrow Hit.
of 16 votes, 0% like it
|
Cupid Shows Me Tough Love.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
|
|
Curiosity Museums Are Like Cat Death Traps.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
|
Currently Evolving
of 346 votes, 29% like it
|
Currently Hanging On To Reality By A Pinky Toe
of 21 votes, 0% like it
|
|
Currently Warming Myself With the Blood of My Broken Heart
of 21 votes, 5% like it
|
Curse Words Are Nothing to Swear By
of 44 votes, 20% like it
|
Curse Words Are Nothing To Swear By, Dammit!
of 49 votes, 12% like it
|
|
Curse Words Are Nothing to Swear By.
of 38 votes, 16% like it
|
Curse Words. They're Nothing to Swear By.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
|
Cute - As - a - Buttonhole.
of 22 votes, 5% like it
|
|
Cute and Fuzzy Feelings Cause Global Warming
of 125 votes, 26% like it
|
Cute-As-a-Buttonhole.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
|
Daddy, Where Did All the Native Americans Go?
of 61 votes, 18% like it
|
|
DAGNABBIT!!!!!
of 38 votes, 5% like it
|
Daisies Are Always Being Picked On.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
|
Dancing in a Congo Line Might Get You Malaria.
of 33 votes, 9% like it
|
|
Daredevil Vampires Sleep Inside Greenhouses During the Day.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
|
Dating Water Vapor Is Boring Because It Lacks Substance.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
|
Davey Jones Foot Locker Smells Like Dirty Socks & Dead Fish.
of 48 votes, 10% like it
|
|
Daydreams Are Just The Previews For Sleep's Feature Presentation.
of 41 votes, 32% like it
|
Daylight Savings Return to Normal Prices When the Sun Goes Down.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
|
Dead Hands Come Back To Life As Spirit Fingers.
of 52 votes, 17% like it
|
|
Dear Gravity, Thanks For Making Roller Coasters Awesome!
of 20 votes, 25% like it
|
Dear Gravity, Thanks For The Water Slides And Roller Coasters!
of 33 votes, 24% like it
|
Dear Mr. Rap Star, I Get You're a "Hustla", But Can U Rhyme?
of 31 votes, 10% like it
|
|
Dear Quadruple Spacing, Thanks For Making 20 Page Papers Possible
of 18 votes, 11% like it
|
Dear Sun, You Light Up My Life. (uv letter fill in)
of 42 votes, 36% like it
|
Death is Just a Gate Way to Heaven.
of 26 votes, 8% like it
|
|
Death Metal Band Seeks Ukelele Player
of 164 votes, 23% like it
|
Death Squads Execute Their Jobs With Precision.
of 43 votes, 14% like it
|
Deer Are Just Trying To Win A Staring Contest With Your Car.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
|
|
Deer Are Nature's Car Bombs.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
|
Deer Are Taking Over the Planet, One Carload At a Time.
of 33 votes, 3% like it
|
Demolition And Home Run Derbies Are Much More Fun When Combined.
of 34 votes, 32% like it
|
|
Deserts Wouldn't Be As Bad If They Had Sand Bars.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
|
Designers Garden By Cropping Their Photos.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
|
Despite Their Name, Catepillars Can't Support As Much As A Column
of 34 votes, 15% like it
|
|
Deus Ex Machina: Greek For "Really Lame Movie Ending"
of 28 votes, 21% like it
|
Dictionary (n): 1. The Thing You Are Reading Right Now, Dummy.
of 45 votes, 9% like it
|
Did Monks Give Their Parents the Silent Treatment?
of 30 votes, 20% like it
|
|
Did Slow Motion Kick In When You Saw Me Walking Towards You?
of 46 votes, 22% like it
|
Did You Ever Notice That Most Observational Humor Isn't Funny?
of 45 votes, 20% like it
|
Did You Know That 10 Out of 3 People Are Dyslexic?
of 119 votes, 17% like it
|
|
Didn't Your Mother Ever Teach You It's Not Polite To Stare?
of 28 votes, 21% like it
|
Diet Food Tastes Better When You Eat Several Pounds of It.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
|
Digital Music is the .WAV of the Future!
of 53 votes, 23% like it
|
|
Dinosaur Party At My House! No Raptors Though, They Get Too Rowdy
of 25 votes, 32% like it
|
Do Airplanes Ever Chase Their Own Tails?
of 43 votes, 37% like it
|
Do New Magicians Saw People in Half Before They Get It Right?
of 48 votes, 19% like it
|
|
Do Not Attempt a Cannonball Into a Pool Table.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
|
Do Not Bring Chips and Salsa to a Search Party.
of 30 votes, 33% like it
|
Do Not Jump Out of a Window While Wearing a Flight Jacket.
of 32 votes, 3% like it
|
|
Do Not Look At Spot To Run If He Resides On The Sun.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
|
Do Not Look At Spot To Run If It Resides On The Sun.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
|
DO NOT READ THIS SHIRT! Uh-Oh... *world explodes*
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
|
Do Not Sign On the Dotted Line When It's In the Middle of a Road.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
|
Do Not Try These Stunts at Home. Go Out in Traffic First.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
|
Do Not Use a Cacti As Your Pillow When Sleeping in a Flower Bed.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
|
|
Do People Who Believe in Self-Sacrifice Belong To Secret Cults?
of 22 votes, 23% like it
|
Do Stars Wish Upon Themselves?
of 33 votes, 18% like it
|
Do What I Say Or Else I'm Gonna Issue More Idle Threats.
of 19 votes, 37% like it
|
|
Do You Always Read People's Chests Before Saying Hello To Them?
of 40 votes, 20% like it
|
Do You Have a Spare Ninja Star I Could Borrow?
of 63 votes, 16% like it
|
Do You Have an Outlet I Can Stick This Metal Spork Into?
of 42 votes, 26% like it
|
|
Do You Keep Secrets? Well Hand 'Em Over, This is a Stick Up!
of 26 votes, 4% like it
|
Do You Like Throwing Money in Videos? You Too Can Be a Rap Star!
of 21 votes, 5% like it
|
DO YOU READ ME LOUD AND CLEAR?
of 22 votes, 14% like it
|
|
Do You Want To Be An Individual? Hey, Join the Club.
of 34 votes, 38% like it
|
Does Being Short-Sighted Mean You Can Only See Little People?
of 45 votes, 29% like it
|
Does Driving A Sports Car Count As Being an Athlete?
of 28 votes, 36% like it
|
|
Does My Chest REALLY Have to Entertain You?
of 41 votes, 12% like it
|
Does My Soul Look Too Big in This Shirt?
of 29 votes, 24% like it
|
Does Nature Look At Science And Go 'I Shoulda Thought Of That!'
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
|
Does the Human Wearing Me Make Me Look Too Stretched Out?
of 31 votes, 26% like it
|
Does The Sun Ever Want To Stand In The Shade From Itself?
of 18 votes, 17% like it
|
Does The Sun Run On Oil or Solar Power?
of 38 votes, 39% like it
|
|
Dogs Could Read Books If You Translated Them Into Barks.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
|
Dogs: They Hate Cats and Play Lots of Poker.
of 40 votes, 18% like it
|
Domesticated Animals Are Really Into Heavy Petting.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
|
|
Don't Beat Yourself Up So Much. Here, Let Me Do It.
of 46 votes, 26% like it
|
Don't Blame Me. I'm Just the Group's Hype Man.
of 47 votes, 9% like it
|
DON'T CALL ME PARANOID! You Did Just Call Me That, Right?
of 41 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Don't Eat Yellow Snow. Unless You Find Some In The Desert.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
|
Don't Even Think About Yawning After Reading This.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
|
Don't Judge the Old Lady Until You've Walked a Mile To Her Shoe.
of 43 votes, 14% like it
|
|
Don't Just Take My Word For How Awesome I Am. Read the Shirt!
of 32 votes, 16% like it
|
Don't Let the Musical Chairs in the Mosh Pit.
of 51 votes, 10% like it
|
Don't Let the Person Wearing This Know I've Gone. Thanks, Slogan
of 29 votes, 17% like it
|
|
Don't Make Any Waves In Life. Strive For Tsunamis.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
|
Don't Make Waves In Life. Strive For Tsunamis.
of 31 votes, 35% like it
|
Don't Tell Humpty Dumpty Any Jokes Or He'll Crack Up.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
|
|
Don't Tell My Patients, But I Called Out Sick From Work Today.
of 37 votes, 14% like it
|
Don't Use Double-Negative Reverse Psychology on Me.
of 50 votes, 32% like it
|
Don't Walk Signs Say Nothing About Rolling Across The Street.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Don't Worry, I Only Murder People When I'm On Vacation.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
|
Don't Yell "Who's Your Daddy?" At Jesus. God Will Smit
of 1 votes, 0% like it
|
Don't You Hate When T-Shirt Slogans Waste Your Time?
of 28 votes, 18% like it
|
|
Doughnuts Love Our Taste Buds But Hate The Rest Of Our Body.
of 22 votes, 5% like it
|
Drag Racing's Main Event: The Cross-Country Cross-Dressing Relay.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
|
Drinking Scotch Tape Will Not Get You Drunk.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
|
|
Drop Knowledge Not Names.
of 31 votes, 26% like it
|
Dropping a Wine Bottle Breaks My Spirits.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
|
Drums Are Getting Sick and Tired of Always Being Beaten.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
|
|
Drums Are Sick and Tired of Being Beaten.
of 83 votes, 31% like it
|
Duelists Don't Run For Exercise, They Pace.
of 39 votes, 15% like it
|
Dust Bunnies Are Easier To Trap Around Easter Time.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
|
|
DYSFUNCTION: A Game The Whole Family Can Play!
of 35 votes, 29% like it
|
Ear Drums Are Very Difficult To Bang On and Not Break
of 41 votes, 17% like it
|
Earth Day Is Now Known As 'Help Mankind Survive Another Year' Day
of 46 votes, 13% like it
|
|
Earthquakes Are Known In Nature As Land Dancing.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
|
Earthquakes Are Known In Nature As Land Slam-Dancing.
of 25 votes, 36% like it
|
Eat your mushrooms and veggies to grow up big like Mario
of 30 votes, 13% like it
|
|
Eating Angel Hair Pasta Is a Creepy Way To Get Closer To Heaven.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
|
Eating Candy You Took From A Baby Tastes All The More Sweet.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
|
Eating Too Many Magic Beans Makes You Fart Beanstalks.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
|
|
Ebony and Irony
of 21 votes, 5% like it
|
Economic Innuendo Highly Stimulates A Rising Marketplace.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
|
Economy Time Travel Stinks When Have A Layover In Medieval Ages.
of 31 votes, 26% like it
|
|
Eeep Op Ork Ah-Ah: That Means I Love U
of 34 votes, 12% like it
|
Electric Eels: The Lightning Bolts Of The Sea.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
|
Electrical Transformers Are Much Less Fun To Play With.
of 50 votes, 18% like it
|
|
Electrical Transformers Aren't As Fun To Play With As They Sound.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
|
Electrical Transformers Aren't As Much Fun As The Cartoon Show.
of 35 votes, 23% like it
|
Elevators: Flipping Off Gravity Since 1880.
of 22 votes, 36% like it
|
|
Elevators: Giving The Middle Finger To Gravity Since 1880.
of 29 votes, 28% like it
|
Elitists Play Air Mandolin.
of 45 votes, 13% like it
|
End Water Violence By Keeping Swimming Pools Free Of Cannonballs.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
|
|
End-Of-The-World Talk Gives the Earth Self-Esteem Issues.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
|
Ending Human Rule Will Start the Glorious Rise of the Cockroach.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
|
Ending Poverty Will Bankrupt the Stick & Handkerchief Market!
of 32 votes, 13% like it
|
|
Energy Drink Guzzlers Are A Bunch Of Radical X-TREMEists.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
|
Engrish is My Second Luggage.
of 64 votes, 31% like it
|
Entertain Yourself, Dammit!
of 23 votes, 9% like it
|
|
Environmentalists Vs. The Irish: Who Loves Green The Most?
of 54 votes, 33% like it
|
Equine Never Follow The 'No Horseplay' Signs.
of 27 votes, 4% like it
|
esrever ygolohcysp t'nseod .krow
of 1 votes, 0% like it
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Eve And Sleeping Beauties Have Convinced Me That Fruit Is Evil.
of 20 votes, 30% like it
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Even My Imaginary Friends Steal My Lunch Money.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
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Even Paul Reveres Me
of 49 votes, 12% like it
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Every Cup You Drink From You've Made Out With. Think About It.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
|
Every Day is the Start of a New Fact-Finding Expedition.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
|
Every Once In a While This T-Shirt Throws Out Prizes!
of 58 votes, 24% like it
|
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Every Time I Argue With Mario, He Tries To 1Up Me.
of 30 votes, 10% like it
|
Every Time I Have Searing Leg Pain, I Get a Sense of Deja Voodoo.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
|
Every Time It Snows I Feel The Globe Being Shaken Up.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
|
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Every Time You Fall In Love With A Season, It Changes On You.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
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Every Time You Make My Heart Race, I Take the Checkered Flag.
of 47 votes, 17% like it
|
EVERYONE COME OVER AND READ MY SHIRT! (small) i hate crowds.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
|
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Everyone Gets Lost on the Way to My Pants Parties.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
|
Everyone Gets This Shirt's Joke Except For You.
of 50 votes, 32% like it
|
Everyone Treats the Apocalypse Like It's the End of the World.
of 50 votes, 26% like it
|
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Everyone's Raving About My Techno Dance Parties!
of 41 votes, 15% like it
|
Everything's Coming Up Roses, But I'm Allergic to Flowers.
of 31 votes, 10% like it
|
Everywhere I Stand Will Become a Historical Landmark.
of 37 votes, 19% like it
|
|
Evil Skeletons Are Bad To The Bone!
of 23 votes, 22% like it
|
Exclamation Points Are Just Periods With Levitating Hats!
of 22 votes, 36% like it
|
Exclamation Points Are Periods With ADD.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Exclamation Points Gone Wild!!!!!!!!!!
of 45 votes, 24% like it
|
Exercise Or Time Travel Are The Best Ways To Change Your Life.
of 33 votes, 39% like it
|
Exploding Stars Are Terrorists Trying To Take Down Our Galaxy!
of 47 votes, 17% like it
|
|
Extra Credit Points Are The Equivalent Of Nerd Catnip.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
|
Eye Lash Out Occasionally
of 47 votes, 13% like it
|
F**K CENSORSHIP!
of 69 votes, 14% like it
|
|
F**K THE POLICE! And Sting's Solo Career as Well!
of 32 votes, 6% like it
|
FACT: There Is No Such Thing as a True Fact.
of 36 votes, 25% like it
|
Facts Are Just Theories That Haven't Been Proven Wrong Yet.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
|
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Facts: It's Funny Cause They're True.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
|
Facts: They're Funny 'Cause It's True.
of 51 votes, 14% like it
|
Failed Authors Will Make Great Ghost Writers When They Die.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
|
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Falling Asleep Is Easy, Just Recite From A to ZZZ.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
|
Fantastical Gold Rings Taught Me That All Life is PRECIOUS.
of 34 votes, 15% like it
|
Fantasy Sports Could Use More Wizards And Orcs.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
|
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Fantasy Sports Leagues Need More Magical Trolls.
of 34 votes, 9% like it
|
Fashion-Forward Athletes Wear Their Jocks Strapless.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
|
FEEL THE BURN. Then Run Some More Because Your Gym Is On Fire.
of 29 votes, 10% like it
|
|
Feeling Relaxed Today? I Took Your Voodoo Doll To Get A Massage.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
|
Fetal Is My Best Position To Play In Any Sport.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
|
Fight Animal Cruelty. Don't Let Kids Play Monkey In The Middle.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
|
|
Fight Animal Cruelty: Make Sure Your Pets Can't See You Have Sex.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
|
Fight Animal Cruelty: Make Sure Your Puppy Can't See You Have Sex
of 84 votes, 15% like it
|
Fight Depression With Fists and Knives, Not Pills.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
|
|
Fight Noise Pollution: Don't Listen to the Radio
of 21 votes, 10% like it
|
FIGHT THE POWER. Just Make Sure The Electricity Is Turned Off.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
|
Filmmakers Always Try to Keep it Reel.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
|
|
Finding a Haystack In a Needle Is Even Harder To Find.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
|
FINE!!! I'LL TURN DOWn THe VOLume Of This t-shirt. better?
of 45 votes, 16% like it
|
Fire Drills Do Not Make Good Home Improvement Tools.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Fire Drills Make Lousy Home Improvement Tools.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
|
Fire Must Be Really Dirty Since It Never Takes A Shower.
of 24 votes, 33% like it
|
Fireworks Believe In Going Out With A Bang.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Fish Don't Take A Shower In Their Entire Lives.
of 42 votes, 38% like it
|
Fish Take Only One Shower That Lasts Their Entire Lifetime.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
|
Flaming Comets Are Just Attention-Seeking Space Rocks.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Flower Children Must Remain Seeded At All Times.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
|
Fluent in Ten More Forms of Communication Than C3PO
of 45 votes, 13% like it
|
Flunked out of finishing school
of 30 votes, 7% like it
|
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Flying By The Seat Of Your Pants Makes For Some Painful Landings.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
|
Flying Is For The Birds.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
|
Flying Sounds Fun Unless You Have To Be A Fly To Do It.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
|
|
Fog Are Clouds That Never Learned How To Fly.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
|
Fog Are Just Clouds That Were Given Bad Directions.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
|
Fog Is Just Clouds That Got Lost on Their Way to the Sky.
of 40 votes, 23% like it
|
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Fog: The Cloud That Didn't Fit in With the Others.
of 47 votes, 26% like it
|
Folks Who Claim 'You Can't Win Em All' Musta Flunked Stat Class.
of 48 votes, 19% like it
|
Follow Me to the Insanity Factory!
of 33 votes, 15% like it
|
|
Following Others Leads To Nothing.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
|
Food For Thought Is Good, But Some Water Might Help Too.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
|
Food For Thought Is Good, But Water Might Help Too.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
|
|
Foot-In-Mouth Disease Is Spreading So Please Speak Responsibly.
of 43 votes, 37% like it
|
For Every Action, There is An Action-Comedy.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
|
For the Best Medicine, Try Laughtranex.
of 39 votes, 13% like it
|
|
Forget About Baby Steps, I Prefer Godzilla Stomps.
of 41 votes, 29% like it
|
Forget Analog and Digital, I Tell Time By Sundial.
of 44 votes, 39% like it
|
Forget Nude Beaches, Where Are The Double Parka Ones At?
of 26 votes, 8% like it
|
|
Forget Past & Future, I'll Take the Ghost of Christmas Presen
of 2 votes, 100% like it
|
Forget Ponies, I Want A Unicorn For My Next Birthday.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
|
Forget Roses, Give The Vegetarian You Love A Dozen Cauliflowers.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
|
|
Forget Witches & Wardrobes, Lions Make the Best Roaring Fire
of 43 votes, 7% like it
|
Former Inmates Rarely Live in Gated Communities.
of 36 votes, 19% like it
|
Fortified With a Good Daily Balance of Vitamins & Ministers
of 30 votes, 7% like it
|
|
Fortunately, Most Vampires Have A Weakness For Stake Sandwiches.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
|
Fortune Cookies Have '...In Bed', The Internet Has '...com'.
of 23 votes, 4% like it
|
Forward Thinkers Write Letters on Post-Cards.
of 37 votes, 14% like it
|
|
Forward-Thinkers Write Letters on Post-Cards.
of 4 votes, 50% like it
|
Fractions: Breaking Up Number Families Since the Dawn of Math.
of 55 votes, 38% like it
|
Freaky Friday Pales in Comparison to Stromboli Saturday.
of 58 votes, 22% like it
|
|
Free Readings Given Here! See, That Didn't Cost You Anything.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
|
Free Your Mind In a Society That Charges You For Everything.
of 40 votes, 18% like it
|
Fresh Gingerbread Men Turn Me Into a Cookie Serial Killer.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
|
|
Freudian Slips Can Injure Your Back.
of 361 votes, 34% like it
|
FRICKINAWESOME!!!
of 38 votes, 8% like it
|
Fruit Flies Taste Surprisingly Awful.
of 61 votes, 38% like it
|
|
Fruit Roll-Up Factory Employee
of 74 votes, 12% like it
|
Funny Slogans Are the Energy Drinks of the Sentence Family.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
|
Futuristic Farmers Grow Their Vegetables On Force Fields.
of 44 votes, 25% like it
|
|
Garbage Cans Can Be So Trashy.
of 44 votes, 34% like it
|
Generals Lead Some Of The Vaguest Armies In The World.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
|
Generous Donor For the Legalization of Full Contact Ballet
of 23 votes, 4% like it
|
|
George W. Bush, Paris Hilton, Toby Keith= Why America is Hated
of 36 votes, 28% like it
|
Germs Can't Hurt Me If I Haven't Learned About Them Yet.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
|
Germs Really Make Me Sick!
of 33 votes, 36% like it
|
|
Getting A Good Education Is So Old-School.
of 35 votes, 37% like it
|
Getting Gored by a Unicorn Makes You Bleed Rainbows
of 202 votes, 27% like it
|
Getting Hit By An Ice Cream Truck Gives Me the Worst Headache.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
|
|
Ghost Mob Bosses Are Completely Untouchable.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
|
Ghost Writing Is A Great Career Option For The Afterlife.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
|
Ghosts Like Haunting, But They Love To Write Books More.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
|
|
Ghosts Mistakenly Make Boo-Boos All The Time.
of 35 votes, 17% like it
|
Ghosts of Hobos are So Tortured Because They Can't Haunt Indoors.
of 48 votes, 8% like it
|
Ghosts That Haunt Mansions Enjoy a Nicer Lifestyle Than Me
of 44 votes, 23% like it
|
|
Ghosts Who Spend All Their Time Haunting Should Live A Little.
of 44 votes, 25% like it
|
Giants Spend Too Much Time With Their Head in the Clouds
of 9 votes, 22% like it
|
Giants Spend Too Much Time With Their Head in the Clouds.
of 7 votes, 43% like it
|
|
Gigantic Earth-Colliding Meteors Have Feelings Too.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
|
Giraffes: Nature's Most Useless Step-Ladder.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
|
Giving a Taste of My Own Medicine Actually Improves My Health.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
|
|
Giving Away 10,000 Bananas To a Monkey Smart Enough to Read This!
of 110 votes, 15% like it
|
Glaciers Are Just Pirate Ships For Abominable Snowmen.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
|
Global Warming is For Hot Lovers.
of 44 votes, 20% like it
|
|
Global Warming is Nature's Way of Saying 'Get Off My Property!'
of 42 votes, 21% like it
|
Global Warming Is The Sun's Rage Over The Lightbulb's Invention.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
|
Global Warming Liars Will Soon Find Their Pants on Fire.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
|
|
Global Warming vs Nuclear Holocaust: The Battle is On!
of 60 votes, 27% like it
|
Globes Are Excellent Fantasies of the World If It Wasn't Flat.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
|
Globes Show Us What the World Would Look Like If It Wasn't Flat.
of 49 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Glue: It Brings People Together. And Never Lets Them Go.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
|
Go Play With a Child's Toy: You Might Learn Something You Missed
of 31 votes, 10% like it
|
Go To Hell. That's Not An Insult, It's A Travel Suggestion.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
|
|
God Smites Those That Taunt Jesus By Yelling "Who's Your Dad
of 3 votes, 33% like it
|
Godliness Smells Like Lemon-Scented Cleaning Products.
of 49 votes, 35% like it
|
Going In a Drive-Thru Causes Structural Damage.
of 43 votes, 9% like it
|
|
Going On a Power Trip Is Not a Source of Alternative Energy.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
|
Going To Prison For Illegally Downloading Bananarama
of 86 votes, 16% like it
|
Gosh Darn Censorship Can Kiss My Tail Feathers!
of 28 votes, 14% like it
|
|
Gravity Is Holding Me Back From Reaching The Stars.
of 27 votes, 33% like it
|
Gravity Is Just A Plot To Keep Us Buying Airplane Tickets.
of 16 votes, 31% like it
|
Gravity is the First Sign of a Needy Planet
of 220 votes, 34% like it
|
|
Gravity Might Make You Fall, But It Also Makes Roller Coasters.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
|
Gravity Spoils All Our Fun By Yelling At Us To Keep It Down!
of 33 votes, 24% like it
|
Greater Than > Less Than
of 31 votes, 13% like it
|
|
Grenades Are Just Bursting With Flying Shrapnels of Love.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
|
Guitars Are Always Willing To Hear Loud Feedback.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
|
Guns Don't Kill People, Robots With Bazookas Attached To Them Do
of 23 votes, 26% like it
|
|
Guns Don't Kill People, They Give Birth To Violent Bullet Babies.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
|
Gymnists Tell Jokes Through Hand Stand-Up Comedy.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
|
Ha Ha Ha! I Heard You're Made of Molecules!
of 32 votes, 19% like it
|
|
Haha, You've Just Been Caught In My Booby Trap.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
|
Hair Stylists Dye For Your Sins.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
|
Hammers And Drumsticks Must Get Headaches All The Time.
of 41 votes, 22% like it
|
|
Happy Endings: Beloved In Fairy Tales And Massage Parlors Alike.
of 22 votes, 36% like it
|
Hate Is a Strong Word, That's Why I Use It To Lift Heavy Things.
of 47 votes, 38% like it
|
Have a Great Day, Cause the Vampires Will Be Out in Force Soon.
of 30 votes, 10% like it
|
|
Have a Happy Whatever the Hell Scientoligists Celebrate!
of 75 votes, 25% like it
|
Have U Hugged a Zombie Today? Well, That's Probably a Good Thing.
of 47 votes, 21% like it
|
Have Violent Sex, Not War
of 45 votes, 18% like it
|
|
Have You Seen Any Screws Lying Around? One Of Mine Came Loose.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
|
He Who Casts The First Stone Is Probably Making A Bad Movie.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
|
Headbanging Is Your Body's Way Of Voting 'YES' To Good Music.
of 45 votes, 31% like it
|
|
Health Care Companies Should Be Re-Named Health Who Cares?
of 22 votes, 14% like it
|
HELP! Have You Seen The Panic Button?!?! I Can't Find It!!
of 32 votes, 13% like it
|
Help! My Shirt Has A Severe Letter Infestation!
of 32 votes, 25% like it
|
|
Hey Math- If You've Got A Problem,Yo I'll Solve It.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
|
Hey Zombies, Isn't It About Time You Expanded Your Menu?
of 17 votes, 24% like it
|
Hey, You Wanna Party? Cool, I'll Get The Balloons And Cake!
of 24 votes, 13% like it
|
|
Hi, I'm Satan's Assistant & I Dropped a Handbasket. Seen It?
of 19 votes, 5% like it
|
Hi, I'm the One Who Spams Your E-Mail Accounts 23 Hours a Day!
of 29 votes, 14% like it
|
Hi. I Don't Think I Know You. Do You Have Any Candy?
of 45 votes, 29% like it
|
|
Hibernation Is A Lazy Sunday Gone Insane.
of 27 votes, 4% like it
|
Hide And Seek Is Not As Fun To Play In The Desert.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
|
Hippie Galaxies Are Way Far-Out.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
|
|
History Books From Long Ago Didn't Have Much To Write About Yet.
of 31 votes, 39% like it
|
History Repeats Only in the Summertime Between New Seasons.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
|
Horny Artistic People Are Pro Create.
of 10 votes, 0% like it
|
|
Hot Coal Is For Amateurs After You've Been Walking On Sunshine.
of 37 votes, 19% like it
|
Hot Dogs Are Really Good At Having Frank Discussions.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
|
House Calls Are Really Hard To Imitate.
of 31 votes, 13% like it
|
|
How Am I Broke With Such a Wealth of Useless Information?
of 28 votes, 25% like it
|
How Am I So Broke With This Wealth of Useless Information?
of 35 votes, 23% like it
|
How Come No One Can Write a Good Thong Song Anymore?
of 38 votes, 11% like it
|
|
How Come No One in "24" Ever Goes to the Bathroom?
of 84 votes, 18% like it
|
How Come No One Walks On Their Sides On A Sidewalk?
of 22 votes, 18% like it
|
How Come Stores Sell Heads Of Lettuce But Not The Body?
of 17 votes, 18% like it
|
|
How Is Playing Simon Says and Being Someone's Slave Different?
of 34 votes, 29% like it
|
I Admit Having Faults, Like Having Too Much Awesome.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
|
I Always Wait Until the Last Second To Plan For the Future.
of 249 votes, 39% like it
|
|
I Am a Fully Licensed Mind Defragmenter
of 35 votes, 17% like it
|
I Am A Trainer Of Training Wheels So That They Can Train Others.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
|
I Am Conducting Various Scientific Studies On How To Become Cool.
of 46 votes, 11% like it
|
|
I Am D.B. Cooper.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
|
I Am Literally Full of Magical Robots Right Now.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
|
I am moonwalking backwards right now
of 34 votes, 12% like it
|
|
I Am Not Immature, But Your Mother Is.
of 32 votes, 22% like it
|
I Am Not Immature, Your Mother Is.
of 1 votes, 100% like it
|
I Am One of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Collect Us All!
of 4 votes, 0% like it
|
|
I Am Really Dehydrated, So Pass Me Another Soda Please!
of 34 votes, 12% like it
|
I Am Really Just a CGI Creation.
of 49 votes, 12% like it
|
I Am Your Suggested Daily Serving Size of Awesome.
of 47 votes, 23% like it
|
|
I Appreciate the Comedy Of Skyscrapers On So Many Levels.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
|
I Attended The Peace Treaty Signing That Ended The Thumb Wars.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
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I Attended The Peace Treaty Signing That Endeed The Thumb Wars.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
|
|
I Best Express How I Truly Feel About People Through Mixtapes.
of 22 votes, 36% like it
|
I Bet You Can't Say 'Toy Boat' Eight Times Fast.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
|
I Bite Bed Bugs Back!
of 93 votes, 19% like it
|
|
I Brake For Oncoming Accidents.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
I Breathe A Lot Easier When I Know Oxygen Is Around.
of 39 votes, 28% like it
|
I Breathe A Sigh of Relief Whenever Oxygen Is Around.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
|
|
I Breathe a Whole Lot Easier When I Know Oxygen is Around.
of 55 votes, 20% like it
|
I Broke A Witch's Curse. It Shattered All Over So I Had To Buy It
of 38 votes, 16% like it
|
I Broke My Arm After Someone Threw Their Old Cast At Me.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
|
|
I Broke The Law Of Gravity And Was Arrested By The Sky Police.
of 33 votes, 12% like it
|
I Built A Time Machine, But All It Does Is Blink Midnight.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
|
I Buy People Rounds Of Applause At Bars.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
|
|
I Called Dibs On All Cookies As A Child, So Give 'Em Up!
of 27 votes, 11% like it
|
I Can Chew Gum AND Wear This Shirt At The Same Time.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
|
I Can Get Tounge-Tied In Fifty Different Knots!
of 28 votes, 14% like it
|
|
I Can Multitask Up To Two Things At Once!
of 27 votes, 19% like it
|
I Can Never Get My Anarchy Club Meetings To Come To Order.
of 32 votes, 38% like it
|
I Can Only Multitask One Thing at a Time.
of 37 votes, 22% like it
|
|
I Can Only Say Words Up To Two Sylla- Long.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
|
I can predict the future: you're gonna be mad after reading this
of 26 votes, 8% like it
|
I Can Read Lips, But Nobody Has a Tattoo of a Novel.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
|
|
I Can See The Lips Moving In Your Mind As You Silently Read This.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
|
I Can Talk To You Now That I'm Up-To-Date On Anti-Cootie Shots.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
|
I Can Walk and Spew Glum At the Same Time.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
|
|
I Can't Believe I Bought A Shirt That Says This On It.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
|
I Can't Decide If I'm Apathetic Or Just Plain Lazy.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
|
I Can't Even Remember the Last Time I Forgot Something Important.
of 48 votes, 13% like it
|
|
I Can't Find The State Of The Arts On A Map.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
|
I Can't Hear You: I'm On an iPod Adventure Right Now.
of 100 votes, 18% like it
|
I Can't Program My Time Machine, It Just Keeps Blinking Midnight!
of 31 votes, 23% like it
|
|
I Can't Read. Good thing I'm the One Wearing This Shirt!
of 1 votes, 0% like it
|
I Can't Read. Good Thing I'm the One Wearing This Shirt!
of 22 votes, 18% like it
|
I Can't Speak For My Wearer, But This Shirt is Really Cool.
of 41 votes, 22% like it
|
|
I Can't Tell Time, He's Horrible At Keeping A Secret.
of 53 votes, 38% like it
|
I Can't Wait To Come Back As A Zombie After I Die.
of 32 votes, 34% like it
|
I Can't Wait Until a Flying Car Lands On My Head In The Future!
of 36 votes, 25% like it
|
|
I Challenge Everyone To Be Less Competitive With One Another.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
|
I Choose To Be a Beggar.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
|
I Choose to Be a Begger.
of 47 votes, 15% like it
|
|
I Choose To Suppress My Inner Soccer Mom.
of 39 votes, 21% like it
|
I Come From Several Generations Of Jellybean Farmers.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
|
I Come From the Future To Tell You...We Still Wear Clever Shirts.
of 530 votes, 38% like it
|
|
I Come in Holiday Fun Size Portions
of 46 votes, 17% like it
|
I Conserve Energy By Driving Without Headlights On At Night.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
|
I Could Be An Olympic Athlete If Pen Clicking Was A Sport.
of 62 votes, 37% like it
|
|
I Could Never Be a Server Because I Don't Take Orders Well.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
|
I Could Read Your Mind Easier If I Wasn't Illiterate.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
|
I Counted To Infinity And Reached The End.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
|
|
I Cut a Hole Around You, But the World Collapsed Instead.
of 88 votes, 17% like it
|
I Deal With My Road Rage By Walking Around & Punching Folks.
of 39 votes, 23% like it
|
I Deserve More Credit, Mostly Because I Maxxed Out My Limit.
of 26 votes, 8% like it
|
|
I Developed A Fear Of Flying After Being Stung By A Bee.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
|
I Developed A Fear Of Flying After Getting Stung By A Bee.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
|
I Developed A Fear Of Flying Moments After I Jumped Off A Cliff.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
|
|
I Didn't Follow My Friends Jumping Off a Cliff. Wanna Hang Out?
of 33 votes, 18% like it
|
I Didn't Just Trip On the Sidewalk, I Was Throwing Myself At You.
of 45 votes, 16% like it
|
I Didn't Mean To Get Your Attention With This Shirt. Whoops!
of 25 votes, 28% like it
|
|
I Didn’t Read Your Mind, I Just Skimmed The Best Parts.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
|
I Dig You Like a Grave Robber.
of 40 votes, 25% like it
|
I Dine at the Table of Contents.
of 44 votes, 25% like it
|
|
I Don't Agree With The Definition Of 'Contradiction'.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
|
I Don't Believe In Fairy Tales, I Just Like Kissing Frogs.
of 44 votes, 39% like it
|
I Don't Engage In Class Warfare Because I Have None.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
|
|
I Don't Get Carried Away, I'm Usually Thrown Out.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
|
I Don't Get Lost, I'm Just Exploring For New Land.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
|
I Don't Have a Drug Problem Because My Talking Sofa Told Me So.
of 48 votes, 13% like it
|
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I Don't Have a Fear of Flying, It's the Landing Part That Gets Me
of 39 votes, 18% like it
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I Don't Have a Pony, But I Do Own a Three-Headed Unicorn.
of 40 votes, 20% like it
|
I Don't Have Enough Cash to Pay You Any Mind Right Now.
of 34 votes, 24% like it
|
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I Don't Just Kick Out The Jams, I Exile Them!
of 14 votes, 21% like it
|
I Don't Kill With Kindness, I Poison With Pleasantry.
of 51 votes, 39% like it
|
I Don't Like Guns But I Love Wearing Tank Tops.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
|
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I Don't Like To Poke Fun. It Usually Gets Really Angry.
of 38 votes, 34% like it
|
I Don't Make The Rules, I Just Break
'Em.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
|
I Don't Ride On Bullet Trains Because I'm A Pacifist.
of 36 votes, 14% like it
|
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I Don't Steal, I Pay Homage.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
|
I Don't Take Life Seriously, Except When I'm Having Fun.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
|
I Don't Trust Newly Married Brides Who Spread Old Wives Tales.
of 44 votes, 11% like it
|
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I Don't Trust People Who Have Never Had Their Heart Broken.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
|
I Don't Use My Words. I Just Get Them To Say what I Want.
of 28 votes, 36% like it
|
I Don't Use MySpace, I Just Make Friends the Old Fashioned Way
of 50 votes, 18% like it
|
|
I Don't Wanna Kill the President, Just Beat Some Sense Into Him.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
|
I Don’t Like Wasting People’s Time, But My T-Shirt Does.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
|
I Draw Temp Tattoos On My Hands Teachers Consider 'Exam Cheating'
of 13 votes, 8% like it
|
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I dream in technicolor, but in them I'm always colorblind.
of 30 votes, 7% like it
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I Dreamed About Having An Active imagination Once.
of 8 votes, 25% like it
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I Dreamt About Having An Active Imagination Once.
of 40 votes, 10% like it
|
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I Dress To Depress
of 38 votes, 18% like it
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I Drew 65 Pictures An Hour, So I Lost My Artistic License.
of 36 votes, 17% like it
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I Drew 65 Pictures Per Hour, So I Lost My Artistic License.
of 40 votes, 15% like it
|
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I Eat Candy Corn To Fulfill My Daily Vegetable Requirements.
of 23 votes, 35% like it
|
I Eat Cereal Killers For Breakfast.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
|
I Enjoy Hearing Myths, Legends, Yarns and Tall Tales.
of 32 votes, 9% like it
|
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I Enjoy Wrinkling Up Clothes On My Irony Board.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
|
I Enjoy Wrinkling Up My Clothes On An Irony Board.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
|
I Envy Anyone Who Avoids the Seven Deadly Sins More Than I Do.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
|
|
I Exceed the Daily Recommended Personality Serving Size.
of 43 votes, 9% like it
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I Excel At Cooking Cereal And Peanut Butter & Jelly.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
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I Exercise By Sleepwalking Up The Down Escalator.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
|
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I Feed My Computer Chicken Soup When It Gets a Virus.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
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I Feel Like You're Cross Dressing Me With Your Eyes
of 38 votes, 8% like it
|
I Feel So Bad About Taking That Cross-Country Guilt Trip.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
|
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I Fell Down A Rabbit Hole And Ended Up In This Strange World.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
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I Figured This Was More Subtle Than a Spinning Bowtie.
of 36 votes, 14% like it
|
I Finally Passed the Test of the Emergency Broadcast System!
of 58 votes, 31% like it
|
|
I Find Classical Music Sounds Best During Old-School Cartoons.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
|
I Find Whatever Floats My Boat is Usually Water.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
|
I Fished This Shirt Out of a River At the Boston Tee Party.
of 46 votes, 11% like it
|
|
I Forget The Meaning Of Ironic. That's Pretty Darned Ironic, Eh?
of 40 votes, 35% like it
|
I Fought the Law in a Boxing Match, and I Won.
of 30 votes, 13% like it
|
I Found the Perfect Match, But Then I Let It Burn.
of 53 votes, 26% like it
|
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I Gave Piece A Chance. And Then I Ate It.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
|
I Get All Nostalgic When I Think About the Summer of 2016.
of 38 votes, 13% like it
|
I Get Nightmares Out of the Way In the Day So They Scare Me Less.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
|
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I Got an "A" Minor On My Music Exam!
of 44 votes, 7% like it
|
I Got Mugged By A Childhood Bully While Strolling Down Memory Ln.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
|
I Got Mugged When Strolling Down Memory Lane.
of 28 votes, 39% like it
|
|
I Got These Rope Burns From Playing Real-Life Hangman Once.
of 46 votes, 37% like it
|
I Got This From a Second-Hand Slogan Shop
of 34 votes, 9% like it
|
I Graduated Best Of Five Million From The Exaggeration Academy.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
|
|
I Graduated With a 4.0 Average From Saint Lying University.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
|
I Had A Shaman Cure Me Of All My Superstitions.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
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I Had Something To Say, But My Speech Bubble Floated Away.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
|
|
I Had the Last Teddybear Stuffed That I Hunted For Sport.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
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I Hate It When I Get Freezer Burn on My Brain.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
|
I Have a Black Belt In Stealing Karate Master's Black Belts.
of 70 votes, 39% like it
|
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I Have a Chest to be Treasured, With Golden Booty to Match
of 36 votes, 8% like it
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I Have a Double Chin For Backup Purposes In Case I Lose One.
of 71 votes, 37% like it
|
I Have a Fear of Flying... While Not Being in a Plane.
of 20 votes, 5% like it
|
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I Have a Fear Of Not Having Something To Worry About.
of 47 votes, 30% like it
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I Have a Fear of Zombies With Chicken Pox.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
|
I Have A Great Home Theater Setup, Now I Just Need Some Actors.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
|
|
I Have A Great Sense Of Direction But I Don't Know Where I Put It
of 31 votes, 39% like it
|
I Have A Part-Time Job As A Jedi Sword Swallower.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
|
I Have A Pet Peeve, But It Doesn't Bother Me As Much If I Walk It
of 28 votes, 29% like it
|
|
I Have a Problem With My Mansion. Apparently, I Don't Have One.
of 3 votes, 67% like it
|
I Have a Sixth Sense of Humor.
of 39 votes, 21% like it
|
I Have An Ass That Won't Quit. So I Fired It.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
|
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I Have Compiled My Top 10 Reasons Why Lists Are a Waste of Time.
of 51 votes, 18% like it
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I Have Entire Closets Made of Skeleton Bones.
of 40 votes, 8% like it
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I Have Eyes In The Back Of My Head, But Fake Ones On The Front.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
|
|
I Have Friends, They're Just All Ninjas So You Can't See Them.
of 91 votes, 36% like it
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I Have Never Made A Bad Fish Pun On Porpoise.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
|
I Have Original Sin & 2nd Edition Sin in Their Mint Packaging
of 53 votes, 17% like it
|
|
I Have Placed Traps Around the Perimeter To Recapture My Youth.
of 59 votes, 24% like it
|
I Have Solved the Equation That Proves Mathematics Doesn't Work!
of 46 votes, 15% like it
|
I Have Some Food For Thought. Whoever Makes Me Think Gets It.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
|
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I Have Strong Feelings Towards Apathy And Irony.
of 35 votes, 31% like it
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I Have the Patience of a Man That Hunts Ninja For Sport.
of 6 votes, 0% like it
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I Have the Voice of An Angel (with severe laryngitis)
of 32 votes, 0% like it
|
|
I Haven't Exaggerated In Like A Million Years.
of 141 votes, 71% like it
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I Haven't Used A Secret Code Since The Crow Flew At Midnight.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
|
I Heard Hell is This Year's Hottest Afterlife Destination.
of 28 votes, 7% like it
|
|
I Heard Medicine Balls Cure Any Illness If You Swallow One.
of 31 votes, 10% like it
|
I Heard Mr. Sandman Was Fired For Sleeping On The Job.
of 13 votes, 31% like it
|
I Heard Some Onomatopoeias Formed a Band Called WHAM!
of 47 votes, 17% like it
|
|
I Heard You Get 100 Free Lives if You Jump Into That Pit of Lava
of 51 votes, 10% like it
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I Heart Faceless Corporations
of 37 votes, 11% like it
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I Hunt Teddy Bears For Sport And Then Stuff Them For Children.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
|
|
I Interview All Aspiring Wizards On My Spell Casting Couch.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
|
I Invented a Ray That Turns Monopoly Money Into the Real Thing!
of 6 votes, 17% like it
|
I Invented a Time Machine, But Only To Set Up Practical Jokes
of 31 votes, 10% like it
|
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I Just Can't Seem To Grasp Why Ignorance Equals Bliss.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
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I Just Completed My Slogan 365 Project By Submitting This!
of 26 votes, 23% like it
|
I Just Feel So Naked When I Don't Have Any Clothes On.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
|
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I Just Found Two Identical Snowflakes, But I Got Thirsty.
of 40 votes, 15% like it
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I Just Gave You A Mind-Five.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
|
I Just Had A Sudden Change Of Heart. Do You Want My Old One?
of 20 votes, 40% like it
|
|
I Just Moved Into The 9th Floor Penthouse Of Cloud Apartments.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
|
I Just Saved The World From Certain Doom. What Are You Up To?
of 30 votes, 33% like it
|
I Just Teleported Here And Boy Are My DNA Strands Tired!
of 22 votes, 14% like it
|
|
I Just Thought Of The Best Joke Ever. I Wish It Was On My Shirt.
of 58 votes, 36% like it
|
I Just Totally Had Sex With a Rainbow.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
|
I Keep All the World's Missing Puzzle Pieces in My Pockets.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
|
|
I Keep Catching Sewer Rats But They Won't Teach Me Karate!
of 113 votes, 37% like it
|
I Killed Time And Now All The Clocks Are On A Manhunt For Me!
of 24 votes, 8% like it
|
I Know How Fast Light Speed Travels, But What About In The Dark?
of 32 votes, 19% like it
|
|
I Know How To Work Out My Problems, I'm Just Too Lazy To Exercise
of 30 votes, 30% like it
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I Know The Answer To Everything. Except What You're About To Ask.
of 27 votes, 33% like it
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I Know What Your Mom Told You, But I Just Like Sharing Candy.
of 7 votes, 43% like it
|
|
I Learn Something New Each Day. It's What I Forgot The Day Before
of 78 votes, 38% like it
|
I Learned All My Life Lessons From Creepy Church Billboards.
of 46 votes, 22% like it
|
I Learned Lots of Life's Harshest Lessons Watching Them on TV.
of 40 votes, 15% like it
|
|
I Learned My ABC's From A Dead English Teach On A Ouija Board.
of 7 votes, 43% like it
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I Learned My ABC's From A Dead English Teacher On A Ouija Board.
of 36 votes, 14% like it
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I Learned My ABC's From A Ouija Board.
of 49 votes, 16% like it
|
|
I Like To Pick Up Strangers In Bars. If They Fall, That Is.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
|
I Live on the Bleeding Edge So Much That I've Installed Padding.
of 48 votes, 8% like it
|
I Lived in a House of Cards Until a Slight Breeze Destroyed It.
of 49 votes, 35% like it
|
|
I Lost A 'Missing Dog' Sign Around Here. Have You Seen It?
of 4 votes, 25% like it
|
I Lost My 'Missing Dog' Sign Around Here. Have You Seen It?
of 27 votes, 11% like it
|
I Lost My Words Around Here. Can You Help Me Find Them?
of 29 votes, 10% like it
|
|
I Lost The Keys To My Imagination. Now I Can't Start My Unicorn.
of 142 votes, 60% like it
|
I Love 80's Movies Without Irony Or Guilt.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
|
I Love Descriptions. They're Really, Um, Neato.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
|
|
I Love Life More Than Life Itself.
of 29 votes, 28% like it
|
I Love Oxygen So Much I Can't Breathe Without It In My Life.
of 1 votes, 100% like it
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I Love Oxygen So Much I Can't Imagine Living Without It.
of 45 votes, 29% like it
|
|
I Love Reading Adaptations of Movies That Were Based On Books.
of 47 votes, 32% like it
|
I Love Surprises, But You'll Hate the Hammer Hit to the Head.
of 12 votes, 8% like it
|
I Love Telling Knock-Knock Jokes. Okay, You Start...
of 34 votes, 18% like it
|
|
I Love That There's An Amendment For the Right To Have Bear Arms.
of 44 votes, 25% like it
|
I Love To Exercise, If People-Watching Is Considered Exercise.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
|
I Love To Swap Jokes, But Don't Try Anything Funny.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
|
|
I Made a Side Deal With the Devil Involving Future Draft Picks.
of 47 votes, 9% like it
|
I March To The Beat Of A Speed Metal Drummer.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
|
I Might Be A Nerd, But At Least I'm The Coolest Nerd.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
|
|
I Might Be A Nerd, But I'm The Coolest One.
of 29 votes, 28% like it
|
I Might Not Make Sense, But At Least I'm Not Made Of Wax Candy.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
|
I Must Be Worth A Fortune Since I'm In My Original Packaging.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
|
|
I Narrowly Escaped A Unicorn Stampede While Visiting Fantasy Land
of 23 votes, 22% like it
|
I Need An Incredible Tale To Tell at Parties. Let's Go Make One.
of 37 votes, 14% like it
|
I Need Words on a Shirt 4 U to Stare, Whereas Women Have Cleavage
of 52 votes, 23% like it
|
|
I Never Contradict Myself, But I Do Conflict With What I Say.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
|
I Never Fade Into the Sunset. I Use Star Wipes.
of 44 votes, 9% like it
|
I Never Found Buttons That Cute To Begin With.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
|
|
I Never Jump To Conclusions. It's More Fun To Play Hopscotch.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
|
I Never Use A Compass Because I Don't Take Direction Well.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
|
I Often Go To Jail For Stealing The Show.
of 46 votes, 28% like it
|
|
I Once Told A Risky Joke And Broke My Funny Bone In Three Places.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
|
I Only Hop On Bugs Because I Hope Gold Coins Will Come Out.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
|
I Only Play a Homosexual When I'm in My Bedroom Closet
of 6 votes, 0% like it
|
|
I Only Speak One Language But I Kiss In Many Others.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
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I Only Started That Crime Spree Because It's Nice To Be Wanted.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
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I Only Try To Get Brownie Points Because I Really Love Chocolate.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
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|
I Own A Kids Watch That Tells Time At A 12th Grade Level.
of 26 votes, 4% like it
|
I Park at Green Lights To Get the Techno Honking Party Started.
of 44 votes, 16% like it
|
I Pass Funny Money Off To Get Into Comedy Clubs
of 2 votes, 0% like it
|
|
I Perform All My High-Speed Chases In Super Slo-Mo.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
I Placate Constantly. Thanks For Taking the Time to Read This.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
|
I Play a Killer "Stairway to Heaven" on Kazoo
of 31 votes, 10% like it
|
|
I Play Bombardment With Cannonballs.
of 11 votes, 18% like it
|
I Practice Levitation By Keeping All the Planets in the Air.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
|
I Practice My Atheist Beliefs Very Religiously.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
|
|
I Practice Self-Preservation When I Turn Myself Into Jelly.
of 41 votes, 15% like it
|
I Pray Everyday For the End of Religion.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
|
I Pretend I'm a Jedi & Wave My Hand Through Automatic Doors.
of 66 votes, 35% like it
|
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I Promised I Wouldn't Verbally Abuse Anyone Today, SO SHUT UP!
of 44 votes, 16% like it
|
I Punch Zebras in My Spare Time.
of 37 votes, 22% like it
|
I Put the 'Original' in 'Originalityism'.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
|
|
I Put TNT in My Closet To Prepare For the Monster Invasion.
of 35 votes, 17% like it
|
I Rarely Time Travel Because The Special Effects Are So Cheesy.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
|
I Read Ten Books A Day, If You Count Pop-Up, Match and Comic.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
|
|
I Really Don't Like Unhealthy Foods. I Just Love Their Tastes.
of 34 votes, 12% like it
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I Really Hate Food, But I Just Love Tastes.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
|
I Really Miss My Sandbox Universe
of 44 votes, 7% like it
|
|
I Really Wish You Hadn't Read This.
of 12 votes, 17% like it
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I Run An Existential Crisis Hotline For Philosophy Students.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
|
I Said I Had a SENSE of Humor, Not Actual Humor.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
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|
I Saw A Sign Of The Apocolypse, But It Only Told Me To Merge.
of 12 votes, 8% like it
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I Scuba Dive For Sunken Treasure In Wishing Wells.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
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I See No Point In Sports, Which Is How Many Points I Often Score.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
|
|
I See That Eyes Are The New Look This Year.
of 29 votes, 10% like it
|
I See The Glass As Half-About-To-Be-Drank.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
|
I Sharpened The Tools In My Shed And Feel Smarter Already!
of 22 votes, 23% like it
|
|
I Shot the Sheriff, But I Did Not Shoot the Kennedys.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
|
I Should Probably Disclose That My Toes Are Crossed Right Now.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
|
I Show My Respect For President's Day By Drinking The Most Beer.
of 44 votes, 30% like it
|
|
I Sky-Wrote A Novel Once, But A Hurricane Destroyed All My Work.
of 34 votes, 24% like it
|
I Sleep In A Circus Tent On Camping Trips.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
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I Sleepwalk During The Day And While I'm Awake.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
|
|
I Slept My Way To The Top Of The Bunk Bed.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
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I Sometimes Hang Out In Graveyards To Look Younger.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
|
I Speak Dozens Of Languages. Too Bad I Made All Of Them Up.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
|
|
I Speak T-Shirt Quite Fluently.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
|
I Spelunk Into Black Holes and Time Warps When I'm Bored.
of 31 votes, 10% like it
|
I Stepped On a Crack, and Now My Mom Can't Walk For a Month.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
|
|
I Still Play With Toys Meant For Children
of 69 votes, 17% like it
|
I Stole a Guitar to Play in a Videogame Group Called Contra Band.
of 38 votes, 11% like it
|
I Store Corrupted Viruses in a Heavily Guarded Data Base.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
|
|
I Struck Lightning Once, But It Struck Me Back And Won The Fight.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
|
I Suppose YOUR SHIRT Could Think Up a Better Slogan?
of 40 votes, 13% like it
|
I Suspect Fishing Wire Holds the Planets Up In Outer Space.
of 39 votes, 36% like it
|
|
I Suspect Little Gnomes Make Our Mouths Move Up and Down.
of 41 votes, 20% like it
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I Swam In Radioactive Waste And All I Got Was This Lousy 5th Eye.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
|
I Swear I Saw Bigfoot Riding A Unicorn The Other Day.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
|
|
I Take Flights of Fancy Whenever I Find a Cheap Enough Ticket.
of 235 votes, 36% like it
|
I Talk So Much My T-Shirt Won't Even Shut The Hell Up.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
|
I Teach My Grapes To Respect Their Raisin Elders.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
|
|
I Tend To Around Things Switch Every While in a Once.
of 35 votes, 26% like it
|
I Tend To Crash Parties in a Car With Good Airbags.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
|
I Think Cotton Candy Is Grown In A Giant Circus Tent.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
|
|
I Think I Might Have ADDee De Deee Deee De De....
of 41 votes, 17% like it
|
I Think I Put My Brain On Inside-Out Today.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
|
I Think I Took a Wrong Turn Into Reality a Few Miles Back.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
|
|
I Think I'm Getting a Stomach Ache in My Brain
of 40 votes, 18% like it
|
I Think My Jump Rope Is Broken. It Hasn't Jumped Once.
of 35 votes, 34% like it
|
I Think My Paranoia is Out To Get Me!
of 37 votes, 19% like it
|
|
