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Some people call it the final frontier, some refer to it as the great unkown, while others choose to throw all our nuclear weapons into it while wearing a red and blue outfit emblazoned with an over-sized S. This gigantic, almost (or possibly completely) infinite expanse of stars, black holes and assorted goofy alien spacecraft has inspired astronauts and science fiction geeks alike to strive to reach further and further out into this expanse either literally or symbolically. It's also time to hit the hyperdrive into full throttle as we jet up up and away into the ballots for THE 14TH OFFICIAL SLOGAN CLUB (HEARTS) THREADLESS SLOGAN CONTEST!


Rules of Contest Engagement:

1. You must be a member of the Slogan Club BEFORE this ballot blog went up for voting to vote on this contest. If you are a new member, feel free to come back for the next time we vote on a contest winner.

2. Please choose the TEN BEST SLOGANS from the list below that you feel would be the best comedy lines for interstellar communication between species. Please cut and paste this ballot into your email account and fill it in with your selections including the name of the sloganeers:

Official Slogan Club 14th "SPACE" Contest Ballot

Favorite Slogan: (10 Points):
#2 (9 Points):
#3 (8 Points):
#4 (7 Points):
#5 (6 Points):
#6 (5 Points):
#7 (4 Points):
#8 (3 Points):
#9 (2 points):
#10 (1 Point):

Ten points shall be awarded towards the point tally for your favorite slogan of the contest, and so down until your tenth selection is given one point.

3. Please e-mail me your real name and Threadless ID name to officialsloganvoting@gmail.com.

4. Sorry, but no one is allowed to vote for their own slogans to avoid any conflicts of interest. After all, we all know that OURS are truly the best anyway lol. Anyone that sends in a ballot with one of their own slogans being voted on will be instantly ineligible from voting on this contest. We’ll see if we let you vote on the next one, depending if our bruised hearts and egos have mended by then. Sniff sniff…

And that’s it peoples! Your ballots are due by the end of the business day of June 29th to count for the contest. Ok, ok, I'll even count it if you get it in to me by midnight of that day...screw commerce! If you have any questions, feel free to leave them on this blog and the magical robot monkey I have created to answer any emails will be sure to get something out to you post haste! Why a robot monkey when I could have easily created a robot human instead? Easy…I have a surplus of bananas to feed the monkey, but the robot human desires oil which is kinda crazy expensive these days.

NEW!
Along with a wonderful gleamingly drawn trophy of the winner's slogan to put in your profile trophy case by Harpo25, the winner of will receive a $30 dollar gift certificate to all of our favorite place to keep our chests warm and witty in t-shirt fabric, Threadless!


And now the candidates for the line NASA will insert into its countdown right before the "Liftoff!" part to lighten up the crew are:

Rossmat:
It doesn't matter how old you are Uranus is still a funny planet
Nasa hired me for my backwards counting
With Pluto as a planetoid my mother's pizzeria is out of business
Video games exaggerated the ease of defending spacecraft
I'm sure glad Mission Control wasn't based in Bigfoot, TX
My spacesuit consists of this shirt and cardboard
In space no one can hear you now

Super Ryan:
The only illegal aliens I'm afraid of have green skin and rayguns
How do asteroids stay so crunchy in the Milky Way?

tsco809:
Sun may be brighter, but Saturn has more bling.
Saturn: Lord of the Rings.
I'm trading this model in for a celestial body.
My evil twin comes from a parallel universe.
Space, the one place where pigs actually can fly.
Wonder if any of the dwarf planets ever knew Snow White?
Dwarf planets may be the brightest. Biggest, not so much.
Cow jumped over the moon and landed sunny-side up.

evan3:
Meteors Are So Down To Earth
Saturn. The Word Has A Nice Ring To It
Moons Are So Photogenic And Always Willing To Say, "Cheese!"
Orion's Belts Always Seem To Twinkle
It Takes A Lot Of Reaching To Actually Grab A Star
Actually, This Is Rocket Science
Witch is to Witchcraft as Astronaut is to Spacecraft
Putting An Astronaut Baby To Sleep Is Easy When You Rocket

PuppetMeat:
If Men Are From Mars, And Women Are From Venus, Where Do Children Come From?
Shooting Stars: Proof That Space Is Trying To Kill Us.
Gravity: Making Orbits And Waterslides Possible Since 1867.
Reaching For The Stars Will Leave You With Badly Burned Hands.
Unfortunately, My Lucky Stars Have Recently Gone Supernova.
Black Holes: Murdering Light Since 1783.

poloq:
The Universe is expanding and I don't know where to put it.
Final result:Capricorn 1, Apollo 13
My Universal Remote Control Can Set Planet's Brightness.

Staffell:
I'd Go Gray For Aliens
The Moon Landing Was Faked! Where Could It Possibly Land?
Forget Extra Terrestrials, I Haven't Even Seen One Yet.
I Get Down With Gravity.
I Had Cold Feet Until I Wished Upon A Star.
I Love Using Astronomically Big Words.
I May Be On Another Planet, But I Get The Best Of Both Worlds.
When You Wish Upon A Star, Go For The Sun. It's Nearest.
I Must Be Behind On The Uranus Jokes
Let's Go To My Spaceship. It's Parked On The Astroturf Out Back.
(3 entries left off, limit reached…sorry Staffie!)

mike bautista:
I can talk about space if the subject's on galaxies far, far away
If it weren't for stars and planets, space would be pretty boring

Halforange:
Uranus is 14.5 times greater than the mass of Earth!
In Space, no-one can hear you tweet.

johntiki:
The only Comet I like is the one that pulls Santa's sleigh.

Mosquito88:
I can travel faster than the speed of dark
My prom date didn't like my space suit
I lost my mind in a black hole
it's time to moonwalk the dog

ryangoestoschool:
Traveling to outer space only brings me to the ALT key
Don't be an astronaut. Be an astro-yes-you-can!
Don't make fun of Jupiter. He's very sensitive about his size
Shoot for the moon. If you fail, you'll land in the hospital.
Make like a sun god, and kill a virgin!

MuteJoe:
Solar flares were way cooler in the 70's
Never Moon a Pole-Vaulter
Did anyone tell Light about the Julian/Gregorian thing?
In space no one can hear you scream- BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO FAR AWAY!
Time-Travelling Grammatists Make The Future Tense
I Blame Sirius for Global Worming
Don't Ride Your Lunar Cycle Without Bicycle Eclipse
I Ride My Lunar Cycle Once In A Blue Moon
The Cow Didn't Jump Over The Moon, It Was Me And My Tractor Beam

jess4002:
An Alien Invasion Would Be Out Of This World.
Where Are The Movie Stars In The Night Sky?
I've Never Been To Space But My Pet Has.
Space Shuttles Aim For The Stars.

Sparky The Wonderboy:
Pluto's not a planet but Uranus is still a black hole of humor.
Meteors and I disagree on weather to trust meteorologists.
I wanted to be an astronaut until I tasted Tang.
In space no one can hear ice cream.
Apparently space bars don't serve drinks on Earth.
Cosmic judges hit the space bar after every sentence.
Star Trek taught me not to trust anyone with a weird forehead.
In space the most popular suffix is -oid.
Interstellar early birds lurk at the end of wormholes.
Preparation A Prevents Asteroids.
(1 slogan left off because of contest limits…sorry Sparks!)

goliath72:
warning: walking on sunshine may cause 11,000 degrees burns.
Shooting for the stars, an out of this world drive by.
Shooting for the stars got me 25 years to life.
Space, Where we all can fly and be super
The space between us is light-years away.

dbrv11:
Astronomers are light years ahead of everyone else.
Rocket scientists think they’re SO smart.
Terraform Mars for the Martians with green thumbs.
Being ripped into atoms in a black hole = coolest death ever.
I can prove wormholes exist. Look at the ground after it rains.
I prefer to think of gravity as more of a rule than a law.
Supernova: hero of the universe.
When you think about it, ALL galaxies are far, far away.
The moon can run circles around the earth.
The Hubble Telescope: the Peeping Tom of the universe.

bygrinstow:
Cosmology 101 was over my head.
Everything is Exciting With a Countdown.
When Hunting Ursa Major, Load Your Gun With Moon Shot
I Dress This Way So the Aliens Will Pick Me Next.

AdderXYU:
Reaching for the stars promotes arm strain.
I'd flirt with Saturn, but it's already got a ring.

FlyYesLandNo:
Once you go black hole, you never go back.
Astronomers do it with the lights off.

Colorfool:
Jumping 1cm higher each year, at age 100000 I'll hop into space.
Ironically, there isn't much room to breathe in space.

Ed Schimmel:
astronauts recycle fluids daily
Exploring Uranus requires a streamlined rocket.
Astronauts recycle their fluids daily.

toopersent:
Space, the final fronteir...at least until we figure out this whole parallel universe thing
Maybe hyperspace should lower it sugar intake
Invading space used to involve a button and a joystick
Who needs Jesus when HAL is your copilot?

pochettejuliano:
Want an extra terrestrial? I got it for free when I bought six.
One giant leap for man, a mere skip for Martians.
I went through a wormhole and ended up dirty.
I didn't know how fashionable the sun was until I saw its flare.
A solar eclipse is just the sun's way of playing hide and seek.
Save the earth! Throw your trash in outer space!
Awesome astronauts go to space and rocket.
International Space Station: the Alien Welcoming Committee.
If fate is written in the stars then only astronomers know theirs
The Hubble Telescope makes us interstellar perverts.

pyko:
I'm Not Mumbling. I'm Just Speaking To The Alien Behind You.
Made Using 100% Space-Time Fabric
Space Invaders - Not Suitable For Claustrophobics.

courtney pie:
For Being A Frontier, Space Sure Is Lacking Tumbleweeds.
Being Lost In Space Would Be A Lot Cooler With A Robot.
Black Holes Are Just A Handle Away From Being Vacuums.
The Monkeys Only Make You Think Space Exploration Is Dangerous.

Brightwood:
I met this girl. She was such a superstar. But she was kind of spaced out.
The Milky Way. It just makes me feel better to know there is candy is space.
Isn't a space cadet like such a cool thing to be?
Would you be apolloed if I asked you to walk on my moon?
I'll moon you if you moon me.
The Space Bar. Why can't it launch me into the cosmos?
cosmo...cosmonaut...cosmo....cosmonaut...
Space: It's so personal.
G-force on a G-string = Wedgies in Space

Bio-bot 9000:
I've seen the end of the universe. There's an e and a period.
This is the age of like 11 other zodiac signs waiting for Aquarius to be over.
Black Holes, White Dwarfs, & Dark Matter: more than just hilarious pornos.
You Can't Prove I'm not the Center of the Universe.
My Career as an Astronomer is Looking Up.
Don't do that. Astronauts could be watching.

sakepok:
Can't wait for midlife crisis so I can get myself a spaceship
In space no one can hear a tree fall
19th century Jedis used Morse

FRICKINAWESOME:
Gravity: Space's Arch-Nemesis.
Worm Holes Are Proof That Life Exists In Space.
On The Plus Side, In Space No One Can Hear You Hiccup Either.
Space Could Use Its Space Way More Efficiently.

squintygirl:
Good thing the universe is expanding, I need room for my stuff.

retroludo:
I'm no astronaut but I tend to space out.
Meteorites: The original rock stars.

ZombieToArt:
Despite what certain singers say, rocketman isn't a real job
I got drunk at a Mars bar
Mankind will never be safe until we invent laser guns
Rocket science isn't so hard, it's not exactly brain surgery
NASA: Not A Single Alien
The moon landing was fake, they weren't attacked by moon monsters
I always thought cosmonaut sounded cooler
NASA are always sending people into my personal space
Astronauts like to get high
NASA hasn't found any Martians because they're all ninjas
(1 slogan left off for voting due to contest limit….sorry ZTA!)

iluvtees:
Spacing out: not so good when you're in orbit.
The universe and the cosmos made me do it.

Nice.s.t.e.e.:
Spacepools Only: 2 or more captains per interstellar vehicle
Astronauts never go Uranus to Murgatroid
Dear Space, You had me at BANG!!!
I tried to get into Space, but I apparently wasn't on the guestlist.
NASA: stalking space since...it wouldn't return its radio transmissions
Space'll never get a clean bill of health at the rate we're probing.
Lightyears. The trusted name in eon-spanning swimsuit calendars.
Hollywood: the #1 destination among alien job seekers.
Earth's rotational pull never seems to work when I'm bowling.
Space was better when there was no dress code.

T-Lou:
In Space, nobody can see you pee.
E.T.'s phone bill was astronomical!
Reaching for the stars is easy with my handy dandy jetpack.
Space cows jump over entire galaxies.
I'm looking forward to a career as a space cadet.
NASA: Need Another Seven Astronauts
Gravity sux
Red sky in the morning, Martian warning.
Earthed In. Spaced Out.
Astronauts never let gravity get them down

greententacle:
Meteorwrongs: when meteorites miss
Space tea tastes better on flying saucers
I travel around the Sun once a year
I haven't been able to wear red since watching Star Trek
Flying saucers are never late to tea parties
Aliens: Moo means No

.onion:
Jupiter has a bit of an acne problem.
Oddly enough, moonwalking is not feasible on the moon.
Star light, star bright, I hope you're actually a UFO tonight.
If the moon is made of blue cheese, then my salad is from space. Sweet.

murky78:
Set phasers to funky

JefAndLaurenRockHarderThanMost:
I measure light years with birthday candles.
NASA: Probing Uranus since 1958.
On the moon they just call it walking.
One small step for man, one giant leap for tiny moon aliens.
Aliens are just concerned with our prostate health.
Aliens traveled thousands of light years just to probe me.
Black holes are the vampires of the Universe.
Don't try to wish upon a star,you'll burn up before you get close
If I'm in space then I'm saying, "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!"
The Universe may be expanding, but it still revolves around me!

TimScribble:
Everything I learned about space, I learned from a bald man and the guy from reading rainbow.
Neil Armstrong. The original moon walker.
Uranus wants you to stop making it the butt of all your space jokes.
Uranus. The butt of all space jokes.
Moon walk. Because walking on the Sun would kill you.
In a galaxy far, far away Ewoks are dying from Death Star debris.
When you wish upon a star, make sure it's not a falling sattelite.
In space, no one can hear you scream for dehyrdrated ice cream.

Bonnie76:
i wish i was at space camp
space is like, so cosmic...

Manicmax:
Dark Matter, The Evil Twin

krokun:
My Hyperdrive Runs On Ritalin.

roobz:
I BELIEVE in drunken hicks, crazies & overcombustive cows
Why warp drive when you can hyperspace!

TapWater Battleship:
What Are Earthquakes Called On Other Planets?