The Official Slogan Club blog can be found by clicking here!


The new home for all past slogan club contest information and triumphs will now get its own blog! It's time for the older info of the club to have its own retirement home and move out of the attic and basement of the slogan club treehouse! All of these past winners can rest assured their winning slogan will be sent to them by way of being printed on a shirt color of their choice and concept as well, and also pick one of these five prized trophy as a reward in their blog, compliments of the Slogan Club!






As gas prices rocket-propel skywards and anyone that travels more than two millimeters from their homes each day can tell you, we are in a bit of a transportation period changeover. Too little money and too much pollution has turned this world into a science class experiment to see who can invent a source of energy that can run on soiled diapers and landfill refrigerators the cleanest. Never one to be left out of a contest, race or stand-off of any kind, the OSC has banded together to see who can pack the most wit into a slogan as possible, thereby making billions in the gas out of laughter that ensues from it. No matter if by land, desert, sea, ocean, air, sky, or Flintstone foot-car, here are The 9th Official Slogan Club (LOVES) Threadless Contest Results!


Theme: Transportation
Number of Slogan Club Participants: 22
Number of Contest Submissions: 99
Sloganeer With the Most Entries: DrNolove (15)

WINNER!!

1. The road less traveled by is littered with lost poets. By jaywalkergraphics (61 Points)

Congrats a zillion Mr. Jaywalker! Your ode to Robert Frost and people taking poems waaaaaaaaaaaaay too literally has landed as leader of the slack pack.



2. Trains: hours and hours and hours and hours of fun By TimScribble (55 Points)
3. If God meant for us to fly, he would have given us more legroom. By Snakeman (48 Points)
4. Walking: Helping People Get Around Since Before the Wheel By Courtney pie (47 Points)
5. All hail taxis! By 5napple(43 Points)
6. I Sometimes Have Bumper Car Flashbacks While Driving. By FRICKINAWESOME(33 Points)
7. I yield to pedestrians. Then I hit them. By jaywalkergraphics (31 Points)
8. Carpool lanes aren't for swimming. By nintechno (30 Points)
8. My Pirate Ship gets approximately 8000 nautical miles per Galleon By V1ctorya (30 Points)
10. I rode my bike here...what did I miss? By wiffler (29 Points)
11. I don't run unless I'm being chased. By MadIron (28 Points)
11. My horse gets 1/300 carpower. By MadIron (28 Points)
13. Inline skates are just regular skates with OCD. By Lhiiiz (26 Points)
14. Conserve Gas: Ride a Giant Snail To Work. By FRICKINAWESOME(24 Points)
14. My GPS makes your back seat driving obsolete By wish-ga(24 Points)







The votes have been simul-casted, thrown onto the sidewalk with a ton of breadcrumbs attached to them and punched in random places by bird beaks before being once again collected and tabulated, and the outcome left no jury hung or chad dangling:

RESULTS FOR THE 8TH OFFICIAL SLOGAN CLUB (HEARTS) THREADLESS CONTEST!

Special thanks to Maltzmania for helping with the contest tabulations.


Theme: Politics
Number of Slogan Club Participants: 26
Number of Contest Submissions: 158
Sloganeer With the Most Entries: Scootman (21)

WINNER!
1. The First Rule of Anarchy: You Just Screwed Up Being an Anarchist. By FRICKINAWESOME (53 Points)

Now, before anyone calls "fix-er-oo-nie!" on me, the votes were tabulated by trusted OSC and certified finger-counting specialist Maltzmania, and then double-checked so this is how the votes rolled.

I'm really humbled and extremely appreciative to have won the 8th Slogan Contest, thanks SO MUCH to those who voted for this slogan and all the other ones in the contest. It was a super batch of slogans as usual for the club and it's an honor that you guys voted for that one over all the other wordy awesomeness.


2. Show of hands: who hates voting? By heerthefood (51 Points)
3. I throw revolutionary tea parties By Nintechno (37 Points)
4. Imperialism is only fun in galaxies far away By Againstbound (29 Points)
5. I only vote for the stickers By Bio-Bot 9000 (27 Points)
6. I'm not pro life, i'm anti-crispix By Bio-Bot 9000 (26 Points)
6. Democracy doesn't work for everyone, take the dinosaurs for instance By ipear (26 Points)
8. Some rule with an iron fist. We rule with mittens sewn to our sleeves. By Scootman (23 Points)
8. The Supreme Court: Like normal courts, but with guacamole & cheese By Bio-Bot 9000 (23 Points)
8. The only primaries I like are colors! By Lhiiiz (23 Points)
11. Governments Were More Fun When Being Fed to the Lions Was a Viable Option. By FRICKINAWESOME (22 Points)
12. Don't blame me - I voted for Satan. By ianrose (21 Points)
12. The Government's Idea of Going Green is Printing More Money. By FRICKINAWESOME (21 Points)
14. The original words on this shirt were overthrown in a coup d'etat By Maltzmania (19 Points)
14. I thought the green party was like a vegetarian festival! By Pizazz (19 Points)






Good day to you weary slogan travelers! We've all been out frolicking in the wild world of the pre-internet to find some inspiration for the 'Nature' contest, with amazing life-like results! Remember not to tap the glass or feed the slogans as you take a gander at:

RESULTS FOR THE 7TH OFFICIAL SLOGAN CLUB (HEARTS) THREADLESS CONTEST!

Theme: Nature
Number of Slogan Club Participants: 28
Number of Contest Submissions: 136
Sloganeer With the Most Entries: TIE! Maltzmania & Frickinawesome (14)

WINNER!
1. You say tomato, I say Lycopersicon esculentum. By juliejeremiah (125 Points)

Um, yeah. I think we have a new and most likely all-time highest point record holder in our midsts. It almost got to the point where the tally broke my head for this design and I just started putting question marks in place of real numbers. Congrats big time Julie for your extremely scientific take on the cutesy-poo song of pointing out how slightly different pronunciations of common life objects can lead to divorce rates soaring. While Nintechno and I promise to turn your winning slogan into a real-world tee at some point in the future (think Jetsons future), right now we have a five shirt back-log because of time constraints and insane amounts of laziness. Rest assured, it will be heading your way one day!


2. Peacocks: Nature's Metrosexual By ipear (53 Points)
3. My ancestors are from Pangaea too! By KaylaFOZB (51 Points)
4. The rings of a tree tell a story. A really, really boring story. By Simpletinrobot (38 Points)
5. Hey baby what's your phylum? By Maltzmania (37 Points)
6. Flowers: Genitalia never smelt so good. By jesse.d (36 Points)
7. I don't hug trees anymore. Not since "The incident" By Maltzmania (32 Points)
8. I think it's time to summon Captain Planet By Nintechno (27 Points)
9. Sunburn: Getting What You Basked For By The Crackers (26 Points)
9. Partly cloudy with a slight chance of inaccuracy By MooseDinner (26 Points)
11. #1 Overall Pick During the Natural Selection Draft. By FRICKINAWESOME (23 Points)
12. Nature does a really good impression of the Discovery Channel By Maltzmania (22 Points)
13. Nature: A single working mother with 6 billion kids By Jack31081 (21 Points)
14. Flora covers Rock, Fauna eats Flora, Rock kills Fauna By Sectionbb (20 Points)
14. Marsupials: Nature's Hot Pocket By TimScribble (20 Points)








After many nanoseconds of prayer and numerous re-watchings of the series finale of "Touched By An Angel", the votes are in and the Chosen Slogan has made its way to the platinum-encrusted gates to send off the one and only sacred:

RESULTS FOR THE 6TH OFFICIAL SLOGAN CLUB (HEARTS) THREADLESS CONTEST!

Theme: Religion
Number of Slogan Club Participants: 27
Number of Contest Submissions: 259
Sloganeer With the Most Entries: Andre-Janine (51)

WINNER!
1. I've been reincarnated as a slogan. - By Nintechno (31 Points)

Uh oh....rigged! lol. Congrats big-time to Slogan Club co-creator Nintechno on his metaphysical take on this holier than all other slogan contests. We're not sure yet if we will just default to making a type tee of hanza's sacrilicious second place type tee, but for now the slogan church is closed and all within must scroll down to more fun Slogan Club stuff and go in peace!


2. Santa died for your toys - By hanzabean (29 Points)
3. Death is not the end. I believe in zombies. - By Mr. Wander (26 Points)
3. Scientology: The Religion With the Best Laser Battles! - By FRICKINAWESOME (26 Points)
5. Living proof that God makes mistakes. - By Meat Helmut (25 Points)
5. My Body is a Temple. The Temple of Doom. - By FRICKINAWESOME (25 Points)
7. Jesus Christ. One exclamation point away from being a sin. - By Brothers (24 Points)
8. These chocolate Easter eggs are to die for! - By onefourthdumb (22 Points)
9. Jesus would have been more popular if he wore a cape - By Jack31081 (20 Points)
9. Evolution is a Silly myth. We were Created by a Big, Invisible Man. - By MadIron (20 Points)
11. Jesus Should Not Turn Water Into Wine During AA Meetings. – By FRICKINAWESOME (18 Points)
12. Church is like fudge: sweet with few nuts. - By onefourthdumb (17 Points)
13. Religion, the second best reason to kill chickens and dance around naked. - By andrea-janine (16 Points)
13. And on the eighth day, God went back in time to create the dinosaurs. –By onefourthdumb (16 Points)
15. Many Wrongs Usually Make a Member of the Religious Right. - By FRICKINAWESOME (15 Points)




After an exhaustive two week counting process that had every child laborer in my house counting out ballots like Mr. Salt had his peanut shelling ladies opening up Wonka candy wrappers for a golden ticket, alas a winner has been found. But everyone who entered this contest of word ramblings where the more immature the slogan the better was a winner! Even if you didn't make the baby corn cream of the cream as one of the top fifteen, give yourselves a gigantic pat on the back for getting into a childish mindset and growing up slogan-style in front of our very eyes! Ok ok, I can see all of you kicking the seats in front of you in anticipation, so on with the first announcements for:

The 5th Official Slogan Club (Hearts) Threadless Contest Results!
Theme: Kids!
Number of Slogan Club Participants: 39
Number of Contest Submissions: 393
Sloganeer With the Most Entries: Maltzmania (76)

1. Today the sandbox, tomorrow the world – By Chelly (42 Points)
2. According to my parents, airplanes taste delicious - By Torakamikaze (25 Points)
2. Simon Says I'm Awesome. – By karm (25 Points)
2. The best things in life come in specially-marked boxes. - By Starfish Reverie (25 Points)
5. always a duck, never the goose - By Sectionbb (24 points)
6. When My Friends Aren't Around, I Play With Myself. - By FRICKINAWESOME (22 Points)
7. I'm a big teapot now – By lemonalle (20 Points)
7. Musical Chairs is Darwinism for kids. - By karm (20 points)
7. I have a PhD in candy - By hanzabean (20 Points)
10. a b c d e f g h i j k ELEMENOPEA q r s t u v w x y z - By juliejeremiah (18 Points)
11. I'm having a mid-trike crisis - By Maltzmania (17 Points)
11. I'm pretty sure my cat's a spy. - By andrea-janine (17 Points)
13. Cereal with prizes inside clearly taste the best. - By Torakamikaze (16 Points)
13. kid napper - By Chelly (16 Points)
13. Ice cream trucks play the best music - By lemonalle (16 Points)




With thunderous abandon, the rock slogans for this contest have finally come home after a month of vodka-ing it up on tour and sleeping around with as many curvy consonants as they could sound out. After going to the Betty Ford Clinic to get off their addictions of painkillers and being hooked on phonics nearly every day, the votes could finally be tabulated. I’d ask for a drum roll, but those damned roadies ate the last one right before the announcement of…

The 4th Official Slogan Club (Hearts) Threadless Contest Results!
Theme: Music
Number of Slogan Club Participants: 35
Number of Contest Submissions: 240
Sloganeer With the Most Entries: Jimography (38)


#10- I'd like to dedicate my next song to whoever makes me a sandwich by MadIron (16 Points)
#9- MP3 Playa Hata by FRICKINAWESOME (17 points)
#8- Kids, Don't Do Drugs. Unless You Are Planning To Make Awesome Music. by FRICKINAWESOME (18 Points)
#7- Walking on Sunshine would kill you by Meat Helmut (23 Points)
#6- Hating emo music only makes it stronger. by MadIron (24 Points)
#3- TIE! (25 Points)
you're so vain, you probably think this shirt is about you by Chelly
Gone Chopin. Be Bach in a Minuet. by awshucks
scat (v): To shoo ba do bwa be do dah bweyo by Torakamikaze
#2- Music may soothe the savage beast, but so does eating people. by Larlar (26 Points)

And the winner of the most sock-rockin’-off slogan contest known to mankind is:
#1- Dead musicians decompose by Mr. Wander (36 Points)!

Congrats Mr. Wander for being the very first Official Slogan Club two-time winner of the contest! I’ll keep it on the down-low by not telling your first shirt that you are two-timing, you horrible thing you. Be prepared to the toast/bane of the slogan community with your second winning type tee being sent right out to you once Nintechno and I get around to paying off the third-world sweat shops we employed for the previous winning tees. Man, are they ever annoying about the fifteen cents we owe them for their sixty-plus hours of fabric design. It’s not like I have that kind of money just lying around *peers down*….oh look, a quarter!




Like a senile older person whose brain has faded along with their hairline and plaid pants, the 3rd slogan contest yielded quite the amazing amount of updated and extremely nonsensical new words to live your life by. Of course, some touched people's souls and naughty parts more than others. Before you start basing your lifestyle around its whacked-out teachings, let's see how the cookie monster crumbled or where the potato chips fell on the first democratically chosen slogan winner:

THE 3RD OFFICIAL SLOGAN CLUB (HEARTS) THREADLESS SLOGAN CONTEST RESULTS!
Topic: Words of Wisdom
Number of Slogan Club participants: 37
Number of contest submissions: 261
Member with the most entries: Icebar (34)

#10- Rome wasn't built in a day, it just looks like it was. by PacificLight (23 points)
#9- Mom told me to take a sweater. I guess I showed her. by Julie Jeremiah (24 Points)
#8- Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, this one doesn't by pushthebuttonmax (25 points)
#7- Actions speak louder than words - especially karate chop actions. by Julie Jeremiah (26 points)
#6- It takes two to tango, but I can macarena all by myself. by Julie Jeremiah (30 Points)
#5- Forgive and ... what was that other thing? by Jimography (31 Points)
#4- Boys will be boys... unless they want to be girls, which is fine. by PacificLight (32 Points)
#3- Crazy like a fox. A crazy fox. by karm (34 points)
#2- Flying pigs would solve most of the world's problems. by LarLar (35 points)

WINNER!
#1- Sloth. The furriest of the seven deadly sins. by onefourthdumb (42 Points)

Be on the lookout for 1/4th slogan tee and picture in the upcoming weeks now that the mofo has finally contacted me again!




Like the cutting crew with a thirst for blood in 300, Nintechno & I faced a brutal battalion of the most formidable movie-themed slogans this side of the silver screen. Dispatched from all over the world to our nearby computers, we fought valiantly to defend our slogan kingdom and to proclaim our blog city safe for the new king/queen to rule with their very own Slogan Tee of Unlimited Whit and Strength! Time to sound the victory trumpets:

THE 2nd OFFICIAL SLOGAN CLUB (HEARTS) THREADLESS SLOGAN CONTEST RESULTS!
Topic: Movies
Number of Slogan Club participants: 33
Number of contest submissions: 136
Member with the most entries: MadIron (14)

5th Place (TIE)- Shooting stars is a felony by Martiandrivein.
5th Place (TIE)- My stunt double will be doing my death scene by Sectionbb.
5th Place (TIE)- The Neverending Story has a happy neverending by m.lapini@proximityitalia.com.
5th Place (TIE)- Inane Blockbuster Part IV: The Producers Need Another Jet by juliejeremiah.
5th Place (TIE)- I'm an extra. We're not really having a conversation right now. by Torakamikaze.
4th Place- Rated R for rated by The Sam.
3rd Place- Maybe you recognize me from my role as "Person Eating Sandwich" by KaylaFOZB.
2nd Place- Keep your friends close, and your enemies in secret volcano lairs by MadIron.

As for numero uno, hold on to your acceptance speeches and make sure you have a pillow duct-taped to the ceiling for fear of rendering yourself unconscious while jumping for joy:

1st Place- The 21st century was way better in Back to the Future by icebar!

Check out the hot-footed photo of Icebar's winning shirt!





THE 1ST OFFICIAL SLOGAN CLUB (HEARTS) THREADLESS SLOGAN CONTEST RESULTS!
Topic: Videogames
Number of Slogan Club participants: 25
Number of contest submissions: 94

5th Place- Wireless controllers allow me to play in the bathroom by Martiandrivein.
4th Place- I do not fear death. I save my game every time I walk outside. by MadIron.
3rd Place- My cat has 8 continues by Martiandrivein.
2nd Place- I'm not an italian plumber, but i play one on TV. by Juliejeremiah.
1st Place- Life has very realistic graphics. by Mr. Wander!

Mr. Wander's pic while wearing his 1st Place Contest Prize: