i ate an ant

We went to Disneyland and arrived at our nearby non-Disney motel when it was dark out. I was expecting Mickey and Minnie and Chip n Dale and Donald Duck and Goofy all them to be in our room to greet us when we opened the door. We opened the door and no one was inside. And inside I died a little.

I jumped off a ladder into a pile of leaves. Leaves do not break falls well.

I used to ghost-ride (ride real fast and then let go of) bikes and scooters and stuff. One time some friends and I ghost-rid down the alleyway behind my grandparents house and I crashed a scooter into someone's garage and it made a big dent.
They saw me through the window. They saw me do it. Later, when my grandparents had them over to our house so we'd explain, I said I hadn't done it. I said I didn't know where the dent came from, even though they saw me make it.

I've never fessed up to it.
Those people still live next door to my g-parents.
It's weird to recall this. I still feel bad about it.

i stuck my dick in crazy

I'm pretty sure I repressed all of my memories from being a dumb kid.

In third grade I went to the nurse for a tummy ache or some shit and decided to empty out the handcrank pencil sharpener while I was there. I blew into it to clean out the remaining shavings like a dumbass and ended up with an eyepatch.

My whole childhood was pretty much like that on repeat.

In winter I used to run round and round the pool while wet to get cold, and then jump in so the water felt warm. Dunno why I didnt just have a bath.

one time when I was like 6, in daycare, I wrote "F*CK YOU!" a bunch of times on a piece of green construction paper because i think I had just learned the power of the word. Of course I stuck it in my cubby and the daycare teacher found it and had to call in my mom.

When I was 7 the most beautiful girl in the world didn't want to dance with me so I told her I will kill myself. So I jumped off highest stairway I found. Unfortunately I survived.

I was once riding a 3wheeler ATV. I thought i was gonna ride into a tree, but instead of braking, I put my feet on the ground like you do with a bicycle. I rode the back wheels up onto my calves, and was stuck. It was bloody sore, and my dad thought it was hilarious.

I used to "discreetly" scratch our telephone number into wooden items in our house. Not sure what I was trying to achieve, but I did get in trouble... albeit years later.

I did manage to shift the blame onto my younger self, which was kind of fun. Being an only child you never get to blame stuff on other people, and that was as close as I ever got.

Yeah, I am also an only child. My dog got blamed for a lot of stuff.

I used alo gel and hair gel

my design is up for scoring
http://www.threadless.com/submission/390928/Deadly_Sins/showmore,designs

As an English project, my teacher had us build models of some of the more important structures from The Hobbit. My group was assigned Lonely Mountain. While working on it, I absentmindedly stuck my finger into a puddle of hot glue, trying to adjust something. With a nice burn, I went to the nurse, where I promptly slopped a dixie cup of water down the front of my pants. Shortly after, I called my dad and asked him to pick me up early. Bad day.

Also, a tablespoon of vanilla essence does not taste as good as it smells.

One time, I was born. Then my dad left.

Dumb kid.

There was an add for a Fraggle Rock VHS that always ran on TV, I thought if I called the number on the bottom of the screen I would get to talk to Gobo or Mokey. When the operator picked up and asked for my zip code, I panicked and hung up.

Dumb kid.

Remember when Sprite had those 'call an NBA player' promotion stupid shit things? I called and didn't expect to hear anything, then the recording started and I hung up.

I wanted to buy the xray specs that were advertised at the back of the Archie magazines.

Yeah, yeah I am old.

I was copying the homework assignment with my sheet of paper flattened against the blackboard. My pen's ink ran dry and I couldn't figure out why 'cause it wasn't an old pen. This kid said, "Don't you know? Pens don't write like that."

is being handsome dumb. If so, I've been really stupid for most of my life

ONE TIME I PEED MY PANTS LOL IT WAS FUN

when i was a dumb kid, I went into tower records and bought a Limp Bizkit cd...

We had an episode of Muppet Babies on beta, the one with Rolf and Valentine's Day. I either fastforwarded or rewound through the whole episode while it was still playing (holding down whichever button; instead of hitting stop, then FF or RW). Because of that, It wouldn't eject ,and for a while it was the only tape we could watch.

When I was 4 or so, I wrote my name on the side of our light tan couch. I tried to deny it- but my older sister knew how to write the letter "J" whereas I still wrote it backwards.

I have a few of these stories... i kind of still am a dumb stupid kid...

in grade 2 my cousin told me that Santa's reindeer could fly due to a magical jam they ate. She also told me she had "santa connections" and would hook me up with some magic jam for Christmas....

i was teased/bullied pretty much my whole life - one day these older kids were sitting on top of a very high fence and were mocking me, and my lack of ability to climb as high as them. After the news I had received from my cousin, i told them, "just you wait! i'm getting magical flying jam from santa and i will get to the top of anything and be higher than you guys after Christmas"!

those kids laughed so hard, teased me harder, and
my cousins a liar and an asshole.