So Christmas season is approaching, hard. This makes me sad, because my entire life I've been subjected to All sorta christmassy stuff. All thus stuff is so awesome! But my family doesn't celebrate Christmas... In fact during the shopping season as a kid we would rarely leave my house. so it's wierd, but I feel like I gots the Christmas spirit! Anyway, one of the things that would make me happy would just experiencing the whole Christmas thang...

All decorating trees with easily breakable objects, all eating glazed meats with pineapples skewered in them, all seeing extended family, all singing christmas type songs, all sucking on candy canes in a non-sexual way, all not enjoying fruit cakes, all watching tv shows with my family that are narrated by a dude with a classy British accent, all getting my mailman a lottery scratch card, all smooching under missile toes, all sitting with santo claws and takin pix, all talking reindeer, all Santa themes coke cans, all egg nogs, all getting a puppy in a box, all family dinner with yer papa, all nice sweaters and waking up early to open presents, all getting pissed off because you didn't get a sega saturn, all hot cocao and shopping at busy places, all tinsel and popcorn, all getting drunk and singing about stuff, all wearing goofy hats, all crushed velvet robe and crown of gold leaves, all love and innocence and warm fuzziness of friendship and life and peace on earth, all little Timmy, all it's a wonderful life, all Hess model toytruck and Hessbrand NASCAR vehicle and Hess brand helicopter in time for Christmas, all spelling Christmas with x, all wholy ghosts and shit

i know I know, you're probably thinking "omair what the fuck, bro! I thought you were only into cool flip your shit awesome stuff!" nah dude, i think just chillin out holiday style would make me the happiest dude, ever! Serious! Thinking about this makes me feel like warm urine.