I am morbid, perverse, eccentric, paranoid, neurotic, vulgar, sarcastic, and self-righteous. I swear too much, spend too much money, think too much, and take forever to make the smallest decisions. Anxiety medication makes me semi-functional. I wear mismatched socks, eat peanut butter out of the jar, and I am nearly always late. Sometimes I have fun at other people's expense. Sorry. I frequently ignore phone calls for no reason, and take weeks to return them. I smell nice. I hate mirrors but love other shiny objects. I also love boxes of all kinds (little tiny glass ones, big cedar ones for quilts, long pencil boxes, etc.) because they hold things, like treasures and secrets and... well, pencils. I'm freakin' awesome. Did you know that? Yeah, you did. You love me, and you know what? I love you, too.