I took a pretty giagantic shit today and when I started wiping my ass I noticed a lot of blood. I might have ripped my asshole while bleeding, it was pretty stretched out. Or, maybe one of my many hemroids burst. I'm not sure...but there sure was a lot of blood.
I really can't stand my doctor and he doesn't like me since I hit him in the head with my cane last time I visited him. I'd rather not go in to have this looked at, so I think I'm going to wait a few days and see if I keep having blood coming from my asshole.

The only way I will go is if one of the cute nurses stops being a little prude and lets me touch her like the whore she really is. Grandpa likes those cute nurses!