I have a multiple personality disorder, but one of them is dead.
of 23 votes, 4% like it
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Martians imagine humans as little green creatures with antennae.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
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I once was a washed-up superhero.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
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The cashier gave me so much change, I thought it was Barack Obama
of 26 votes, 23% like it
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I find it sad that bakers cannot count to 12.
of 29 votes, 24% like it
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Don't judge me by the leaders of the country I happen to live in.
of 74 votes, 28% like it
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Don't worry... I'm making preconceived notions about you too.
of 64 votes, 39% like it
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I don't have amnesia. I would remember something like that.
of 66 votes, 44% like it
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Mary Jane resents the fact that her name is associated with drugs
of 67 votes, 33% like it
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My parents dropped me as a child. Now I'm a crackhead.
of 62 votes, 34% like it
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You could save 100% by not having car insurance at all.
of 75 votes, 33% like it
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I'm a Dance Dance Revolutionary.
of 88 votes, 41% like it
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The ability to walk on water made it very hard for Jesus to swim.
of 83 votes, 42% like it
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I'm the kind of person that would push the big red button.
of 143 votes, 49% like it
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Isn't opium techically the opiate of the masses?
of 129 votes, 31% like it
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Someday I will find that damned rainbow connection!
of 135 votes, 32% like it
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Football: where a low IQ is rewarded with millions of dollars.
of 141 votes, 35% like it
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I don't care how far the rabbit hole goes. Give me the red pill.
of 142 votes, 35% like it
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I will give 5 bucks to the first person to give me 10 bucks.
of 156 votes, 38% like it
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Beethoven was a bad listener.
of 208 votes, 36% like it
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How many people had to donate plasma so you could get a TV?
of 217 votes, 41% like it
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Welcome to America: You gonna get sued.
of 203 votes, 33% like it
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I could be super. I just can't find any radioactive spiders.
of 229 votes, 41% like it
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Batman and Robin are just really, really good friends.
of 228 votes, 42% like it
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I think the Middle East just needs a hug.
of 226 votes, 43% like it
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Hell, I have no clue. Just Google it.
of 235 votes, 36% like it
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You know, sliced bread was never even that cool.
of 266 votes, 58% like it
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