New and Improved means they didn't do it right the first time
of 50 votes, 36% like it
|
Never Let It Rest Until Your Better Is Better Than Your Best
of 45 votes, 9% like it
|
you must first get lost in order to find places not yet found
of 61 votes, 20% like it
|
|
If I say the dirty word "exercise" I wash my mouth out
of 61 votes, 5% like it
|
losing popularity like it's my job
of 47 votes, 13% like it
|
No, my house isn't spotless. I own my house, it doesn't own me!
of 55 votes, 5% like it
|
|
if you throw a cat out of a window, does it become kitty litter?
of 58 votes, 12% like it
|
I just keep putting out fires with gasoline
of 56 votes, 9% like it
|
Life Doesn't Stand Still. Jump On Board.
of 65 votes, 14% like it
|
|
I see you fell down the Ugly Tree and hit every branch
of 52 votes, 8% like it
|
you will rue the day you ever met me !
of 53 votes, 6% like it
|
oh, go TEXT yourself !
of 34 votes, 15% like it
|
|
waiting on the world to change will be a long wait
of 29 votes, 7% like it
|
why did you do that ?
of 28 votes, 4% like it
|
I like you, but I like Me better.
of 30 votes, 10% like it
|
|
I don't care, so don't ask
of 35 votes, 3% like it
|
I wear this shirt to honor the Soldiers
of 35 votes, 9% like it
|
forget ninjas and pirates...soldiers are my heroes !
of 33 votes, 6% like it
|
|
every day another soldier dies for my freedom
of 34 votes, 12% like it
|
there is a fine line between creative and crazy
of 17 votes, 24% like it
|
anonymously famous
of 16 votes, 25% like it
|
|
people are people, and they'll do peoplish things
of 19 votes, 32% like it
|
if the zombies attack, you'll be safe
of 34 votes, 12% like it
|
I know I'm Hot, so Don't get Burned.
of 31 votes, 10% like it
|
|
Keep back 50 feet. I may erupt at any moment.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
|
No Tricks,
All Treats
of 24 votes, 21% like it
|
proud parent of a B student
of 27 votes, 11% like it
|
|
proud parent of a C student
of 26 votes, 8% like it
|
in case of Zombie attack, always keep extra brains in your pocket
of 25 votes, 16% like it
|
If nothing goes right, turn left.
of 31 votes, 35% like it
|
|
if at first you don't succeed, duct tape it and call it done
of 18 votes, 33% like it
|
I have PMS and a GPS, which means I'm MAD and I WILL find You!
of 19 votes, 26% like it
|
I'm madder than a 3-legged cat at a dog pound !
of 21 votes, 10% like it
|
|
Caution: I may suddenly feel the urge to hamster dance
of 19 votes, 32% like it
|
I used to feel like a million bucks. Now I'm like a bounced check
of 21 votes, 19% like it
|
you'll have to excuse me...my mind went to bed before I did
of 19 votes, 21% like it
|
|
It's my birthday. Where's my present?
of 18 votes, 17% like it
|
ladybugs are not always ladies
of 18 votes, 17% like it
|
just because you talk the loudest doesn't mean you won the fight
of 20 votes, 10% like it
|
|
I looked the gift horse in the mouth. Then he swallowed my gift.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
|
if it was up to me we'd all be rich
of 17 votes, 24% like it
|
Caution: Dangerous Gases Within
of 19 votes, 32% like it
|
|
a zombie ate my homework
of 28 votes, 21% like it
|
keep your goals away from the trolls
of 30 votes, 3% like it
|
I wouldn't get too close to me if I was you
of 21 votes, 19% like it
|
|
my mind is out of order... my hamster fell off its wheel
of 22 votes, 18% like it
|
my reality is on vacation
of 32 votes, 19% like it
|
my road to success is always under construction
of 32 votes, 9% like it
|
|
my road to success has alot of pot holes in it
of 32 votes, 9% like it
|
I'm not growing up until I feel like it
of 22 votes, 23% like it
|
I'm as Hot as a Skillet Full of Rattlesnakes
of 33 votes, 3% like it
|
|
ever notice how little kids hate to go to bed, but us adults...
of 28 votes, 14% like it
|
you'll have to excuse me, I left my awesomeness at home today
of 23 votes, 22% like it
|
all those crazy drivers you see on TV are from my town
of 24 votes, 17% like it
|
|
I'm one of those crazy drivers you saw on TV
of 24 votes, 8% like it
|
we're all just kids in bigger bodies
of 23 votes, 30% like it
|
Anytime you need a hug, I'll give you mine if you give me yours.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
|
|
If the new down is up, then I'm on my way to the sky !
of 23 votes, 22% like it
|
Stop it, or I'm going to punch you in the neck!
of 23 votes, 30% like it
|
you will obey me !
of 24 votes, 21% like it
|
|
OBEY MY SHIRT:
give me all your money and forget you ever saw me
of 23 votes, 9% like it
|
don't let my cuteness intimidate you
of 26 votes, 38% like it
|
Life is a treasure. Enjoy every penny of it.
of 29 votes, 10% like it
|
|
I wish stupidity was a disease, so we could hope for a cure
of 29 votes, 14% like it
|
I wanted a knight in shining armor, but I got a bum in tin foil
of 29 votes, 10% like it
|
my hardest choice today was which color of crayon to use
of 30 votes, 20% like it
|
|
President of the Official Gripe and Moan Club
of 29 votes, 17% like it
|
when your luck runs out, chase after it
of 36 votes, 17% like it
|
Yeah I did it. So what?
of 35 votes, 11% like it
|
|
if you can't erase it, just embrace it
of 40 votes, 13% like it
|
old too soon, smart too late
of 36 votes, 6% like it
|
I need to put myself in time out
of 36 votes, 14% like it
|
|
When I was a kid, I didn't eat my vegetables. What's your excuse?
of 26 votes, 15% like it
|
I'm a Rebel ! I go swimming only 20 minutes after I've eaten!
of 26 votes, 8% like it
|
Lucky for you, I'm an ex-nudist !
of 26 votes, 8% like it
|
|
I shopped. I dropped. Can you help me up?
of 25 votes, 8% like it
|
...I guess I sat too close to the TV when I was a kid
of 26 votes, 15% like it
|
my mom told me a hundred times my face would freeze like this...
of 27 votes, 19% like it
|
|
turn every moment into a memory
of 22 votes, 9% like it
|
Vampires, Werewolves, and Girls ! Oh My !
of 27 votes, 7% like it
|
Deal with life as it comes...it's not like ur gonna get out alive
of 28 votes, 18% like it
|
|
Now that I'm Older, My Days of Pillaging and Plundering are Over
of 23 votes, 22% like it
|
I Have Amnesia. Do You Know Me?
of 24 votes, 17% like it
|
I Am Here To Plunder Your Village
of 24 votes, 21% like it
|
|
I AM The Boogeyman
of 25 votes, 12% like it
|
Look Out !
Behind You ! It's the Boogeyman!
of 22 votes, 5% like it
|
Look Out !
Behind You !
of 24 votes, 13% like it
|
|
The Car Bomber Should Have Parked in Front of Wall Street
of 22 votes, 9% like it
|
BRB....Attempting To Give A Damn
of 29 votes, 10% like it
|
Chickens Should Be Able To Cross The Road Without A Reason
of 21 votes, 48% like it
|
|
I'm Not Weird, I'm A Limited Edition
of 21 votes, 52% like it
|
Wall Street Ate My Wallet
of 17 votes, 12% like it
|
The Key To Happiness Is A Bad Memory
of 18 votes, 17% like it
|
|
Instead of a 6-pack, I have the whole keg.(w/ down arrow 2 belly)
of 28 votes, 14% like it
|
If we are God's children, does that mean there is a Mrs. God?
of 24 votes, 17% like it
|
Don't date a lumberjack. His mind is only on his wood.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
|
|
Don't date a pro-bowler. His mind is always in the gutter.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
|
Don't date a redneck. He likes his pick-up truck better than you
of 22 votes, 9% like it
|
Don't date a pilot. He'll leave you on the fly.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
|
|
Don't marry an ex-con unless he agrees to life.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
|
Don't date a snowman. He will leave you by Spring.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
|
All Hail Chocolate !
of 22 votes, 9% like it
|
|
when it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile
of 22 votes, 18% like it
|
Forget it. Not interested.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
|
When in Rome, eat pizza !
of 22 votes, 14% like it
|
|
This isn't me. It's my doppelganger.
of 24 votes, 33% like it
|
Life is short. Give it some platform shoes.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
|
what other people think of you is none of your business
of 21 votes, 24% like it
|
|
Remember there is a Haiti in every country. Help your neighbors.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
|
Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
of 19 votes, 53% like it
|
You are such a gem! So I decided to sell you at the pawn shop.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
|
|
if you are living in darkness, turn on a light
of 19 votes, 5% like it
|
Go out and experience life. Don't just dream about it.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
|
your suggestions have been noted, and ignored
of 22 votes, 18% like it
|
|
dance in the rain and forget the storm
of 20 votes, 20% like it
|
focus on your dreams instead of your regrets
of 22 votes, 18% like it
|
Believe in love at first sight...just in case.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
|
|
When life hands you lemons, throw them at all the people you hate
of 20 votes, 20% like it
|
my wallet needs more stimulating
of 21 votes, 19% like it
|
so prison inmates get free medical, dental, and a college degree?
of 13 votes, 23% like it
|
|
my Halloween pumpkin just got laid off
of 14 votes, 7% like it
|
I can't wait to be old so I can wear green pants and pink shirts
of 16 votes, 6% like it
|
Yes I throw like a girl ! I am one !
of 19 votes, 11% like it
|
|
There's too many freaks, but not enough freaking circuses.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
|
that is totally disgrossting !
of 14 votes, 7% like it
|
cany corn is better than real corn...you only see it going in
of 24 votes, 8% like it
|
|
my happiness is only a shopping mall away !
of 17 votes, 18% like it
|
follow your cart...it's got all your stuff in it
of 18 votes, 11% like it
|
crabby all year
of 17 votes, 12% like it
|
|
when life was coming at me, I ducked and it passed me by
of 27 votes, 11% like it
|
just living my life and seeing what comes my way
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
don't expect more than you can give
of 15 votes, 27% like it
|
|
the greatest story ever told is the one about my ex...
of 28 votes, 14% like it
|
when the world ends, let's just move to another planet
of 24 votes, 13% like it
|
i get amused easily
of 28 votes, 4% like it
|
|
if I listen to you for more than 10 seconds, I already stopped...
of 27 votes, 11% like it
|
Take that you Varmints !
of 26 votes, 4% like it
|
if a tree fell on a lone man in the woods, does he make a scream?
of 26 votes, 19% like it
|
|
I'm not fat, I'm just too short
of 16 votes, 19% like it
|
(the word heart is written on the sleeve of the shirt)
of 18 votes, 28% like it
|
When I was a kid, I had to walk 2 miles in the snow to school
of 20 votes, 10% like it
|
|
Never take candy from strangers...except on Halloween.
of 20 votes, 35% like it
|
gimme a fist bump!
of 19 votes, 11% like it
|
in the South, everyone's middle name is Sue or Joe Bob
of 15 votes, 7% like it
|
|
then it's agreed...I'm always right
of 13 votes, 23% like it
|
you're as popular as a skunk that crawled in a heating vent
of 13 votes, 8% like it
|
I leveled-up so high that my gamer score went on strike
of 13 votes, 8% like it
|
|
you are just wrong on so many levels
of 13 votes, 8% like it
|
Dancing with the Fools
of 15 votes, 7% like it
|
I saw you and my heart's on fire. Seriously, get me some water !
of 15 votes, 7% like it
|
|
my brain is infested with smartness
of 15 votes, 20% like it
|
too many crazies on the roads...and I'm the Craziest !
of 16 votes, 13% like it
|
Drivers Beware ! My brother just got his license !
of 17 votes, 6% like it
|
|
Drivers Beware ! My son just got his license !
of 16 votes, 6% like it
|
I am easily amused by all the people reading my shirt
of 13 votes, 23% like it
|
it doesn't take much to amuse me
of 11 votes, 18% like it
|
|
minimum wage should really be called chump change
of 12 votes, 8% like it
|
you look better in the twilight
of 12 votes, 17% like it
|
Just ignore me. I always do.
of 9 votes, 11% like it
|
|
3 out of 4 zombies agree, humans taste like chicken
of 18 votes, 28% like it
|
my road to success is under construction
of 29 votes, 28% like it
|
don't follow me, I'm already lost
of 29 votes, 14% like it
|
|
Texting OMG to your BFF is NOT going to church
of 12 votes, 17% like it
|
I just awesomed all over the place
of 31 votes, 35% like it
|
When you walk in circles, at least you know your way around.
of 33 votes, 42% like it
|
|
Time isn't worth having if you can't spend it.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
|
Shop 'til you drop? Now it's shop 'til you spend your whole $5 !
of 24 votes, 8% like it
|
you can Google me !
of 12 votes, 8% like it
|
|
I say let the Afghanistans fight it out with the Al-Qaeda
of 24 votes, 8% like it
|
put your money where your mouth is...that's better than in stocks
of 23 votes, 9% like it
|
my gps tracker tried to get me lost
of 23 votes, 13% like it
|
|
if you're so cool, then you can fix Global Warming
of 21 votes, 29% like it
|
hasn't Global Warming been going on since the Ice Age?
of 14 votes, 29% like it
|
Fight Global Warming ! Hold your refrigerator door open longer !
of 11 votes, 9% like it
|
|
Fight Global Warming ! Hold your refrigerator door open longer !
of 14 votes, 14% like it
|
stocks, bonds, or under my mattress...yeah, real tough choice
of 21 votes, 5% like it
|
put my money in stocks = toss it into a bonfire
of 23 votes, 9% like it
|
|
I am economically challenged
of 19 votes, 26% like it
|
the economy taught me to be economical
of 19 votes, 16% like it
|
Green or Mean. Which are you ?
of 21 votes, 19% like it
|
|
If I Were An Octopus, I'd Hug You 8 Times
of 20 votes, 10% like it
|
All My Sarcastic Comments Are 100% FREE Today
of 16 votes, 25% like it
|
chocolate is the secret weapon for women
of 30 votes, 7% like it
|
|
this shirt will self-destruct in 5...4...3...2...
of 33 votes, 18% like it
|
be my bff ?
of 32 votes, 9% like it
|
The line begins behind Me.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
|
|
uniqueness is my weakness
of 31 votes, 19% like it
|
I don't like it
of 33 votes, 6% like it
|
if you follow me, we'll both be lost
of 30 votes, 30% like it
|
|
You're so hot you make the sun sweat!
of 19 votes, 16% like it
|
I'm Lost. Can I Follow You Home?
of 19 votes, 11% like it
|
so what haven't they told you?
of 26 votes, 12% like it
|
|
HOT x infinity= ME
of 27 votes, 11% like it
|
something's wrong with my eyes! I can't take them off you
of 19 votes, 5% like it
|
We're friends, but if zombies start chasing us, I'm tripping you
of 15 votes, 20% like it
|
|
I'd rather bump into a friend than a stranger.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
|
gnomes are leprechauns who don't have any gold
of 30 votes, 23% like it
|
the other day I caught my garden gnome peeing in the bird bath
of 30 votes, 10% like it
|
|
the other day I caught my garden gnome beating up a lawn jockey
of 30 votes, 10% like it
|
The other day, I caught my garden gnome swimming in the bird bath
of 30 votes, 10% like it
|
Evil Clown's Are Satan's Little Helpers
of 30 votes, 3% like it
|
|
When in Threadless, do as the ThreadLanders
of 30 votes, 7% like it
|
When I grow up I want to be an Evil Clown
of 30 votes, 10% like it
|
I eat Clowns for Breakfast !
of 30 votes, 3% like it
|
|
Clowns are People too !
of 30 votes, 10% like it
|
Don't follow me. I'm usually lost.
of 43 votes, 23% like it
|
WWHD ? What Would Hilary Do ?
of 44 votes, 7% like it
|
|
Being Green Comes Naturally For Plants
of 42 votes, 26% like it
|
My home doesn't need a burglar alarm. It's surrounded by cactuses
of 43 votes, 12% like it
|
Dr. Phil for President '08
of 44 votes, 11% like it
|
|
The Real Cause Of Global Warming Comes From My Butt
of 41 votes, 7% like it
|
Life is short. Give it a step stool.
of 47 votes, 26% like it
|
I've been pwned by the best
of 45 votes, 11% like it
|
|
I'm only here because my xbox broke down
of 45 votes, 9% like it
|
I'm only here because my computer broke down
of 47 votes, 11% like it
|
the higher the gamerscore, the lower the number of friends
of 43 votes, 19% like it
|
|
Pessimists need a kick in the can'ts !
of 51 votes, 16% like it
|
Lust is wanting. Love is giving.
of 53 votes, 17% like it
|
Yes I Am Somebody Famous, So Keep Looking
of 51 votes, 20% like it
|
|
my day job is a crop circle artist
of 55 votes, 27% like it
|
WARNING! Sudden outbursts are unpredictable.
of 52 votes, 10% like it
|
WARNING! Kid at heart . I am not responsible for my actions
of 52 votes, 8% like it
|
|
Old Turkey Buzzard
of 53 votes, 4% like it
|
I'm only running 'cause I really have to poop !
of 52 votes, 10% like it
|
Super Duper New T-Shirt !
of 52 votes, 4% like it
|
|
Green Being
of 52 votes, 10% like it
|
If God is your co-pilot, swap seats.
of 50 votes, 18% like it
|
The Surgeon General Never Said You Can't Smoke Your Competition !
of 50 votes, 20% like it
|
|
HOW'S MY WALKING? Call 1-800-555-0123
of 50 votes, 26% like it
|
If you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything.
of 48 votes, 17% like it
|
even my underwear is Green
of 58 votes, 7% like it
|
|
Kermit is the Creator of Being Green
of 59 votes, 12% like it
|
I had a Green Thumb before being Green was popular
of 58 votes, 9% like it
|
My parents are astronauts. As you can see, they left me behind
of 61 votes, 20% like it
|
|
Computer Technician by day, Computer Gamer by night
of 60 votes, 10% like it
|
Warning: objects in shirt may be closer than they appear
of 59 votes, 15% like it
|
Don't get your panties in a Wad !
of 60 votes, 2% like it
|
|
Even if I had any spare change, I still wouldn't tell you !
of 58 votes, 3% like it
|
Just go put your big girl panties on, and deal with it !
of 58 votes, 9% like it
|
If stress burned calories, I'd be a size ZERO !
of 58 votes, 14% like it
|
|
we will get along fine, as long as you do everything my way
of 57 votes, 9% like it
|
To Save Time, Let's Just Assume I'm Always Right
of 55 votes, 13% like it
|
my ignorance is masked by my nerd-like exterior
of 57 votes, 14% like it
|
|
DANGER ! This area under construction
of 56 votes, 5% like it
|
Gnome,gnome on the range!Where the beer and the pot of gold play!
of 57 votes, 5% like it
|
if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours
of 56 votes, 7% like it
|
|
muffin mania has struck the planet !
of 55 votes, 5% like it
|
W.A.R. - worrying about relatives
of 55 votes, 7% like it
|
My imagination runs wild. So at night I hide it's car keys.
of 57 votes, 30% like it
|
|
def. COLLEGE (kol' ij) - n. mass instruction
of 54 votes, 9% like it
|
you need to download a new life
of 55 votes, 15% like it
|
God created Man. Then He fixed His mistakes and created Woman
of 56 votes, 16% like it
|
|
I Am Middle-Aged ! Only Slightly Decayed !
of 55 votes, 5% like it
|
if you break a mirror, don't worry, those 7 years will go by fast
of 54 votes, 9% like it
|
design for the future, so the future won't be in the past
of 54 votes, 6% like it
|
|
Why does everyone like the smell of rain? I just smell worms
of 54 votes, 15% like it
|
iP00p
of 53 votes, 11% like it
|
I have the ability of E.S.P. Eat, Sleep, and P00p.
of 54 votes, 9% like it
|
|
why run when you can just hide ?
of 55 votes, 22% like it
|
Don't get too close. I might bite.
of 47 votes, 9% like it
|
I Brake For Pandas
of 48 votes, 17% like it
|
|
I'm a great cook ! Which cereal do you want ?
of 48 votes, 10% like it
|
I'm the Master Chef of Microwaving
of 49 votes, 6% like it
|
GOSSIP: Girls Often Saying Stuff Invariably Paradoxical
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
|
I spread random acts of rumors
of 49 votes, 2% like it
|
my face hurts from looking at you
of 50 votes, 6% like it
|
my boss has the day off....
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
|
nothing is more peaceful than thunder in the mountains
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
Give it some time. You might find me attractive eventually.
of 48 votes, 15% like it
|
if I were really smart, I'd already be a millionaire
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
|
I can fix anything ! Just give me some duct tape.
of 63 votes, 16% like it
|
Tornado Shelter: Hide under my shirt !
of 63 votes, 16% like it
|
we are all strangers until we introduce ourselves
of 64 votes, 27% like it
|
|
my granny can beat up your granny
of 64 votes, 19% like it
|
Dominated by my Opinions
of 63 votes, 16% like it
|
why do iPod earphones always get tangled when you take them off?
of 63 votes, 11% like it
|
|
Dominate Your World
of 63 votes, 10% like it
|
THEORY OF RELATIVITY: we all have a relative who borrows money
of 63 votes, 13% like it
|
The world needs to change, but what would it wear ?
of 64 votes, 17% like it
|
|
The best sign in the world is a sign from God
of 63 votes, 6% like it
|
my dentist performs random cavity searches
of 66 votes, 20% like it
|
Donald......You're Fired !
of 64 votes, 9% like it
|
|
Terrorism : hunting season for humans
of 64 votes, 14% like it
|
Lost in Myspace
of 65 votes, 12% like it
|
Keep moving people. Nothing to see here.
of 65 votes, 12% like it
|
|
no way ! I'M always the dwarf !
of 63 votes, 8% like it
|
The end is near ! So let's just make a U-turn.
of 64 votes, 16% like it
|
I make a negative impact everywhere I go, so I avoid Wall Street
of 62 votes, 11% like it
|
|
we postponed our marriage for football season
of 63 votes, 6% like it
|
An angel lost his wings when he nominated me for Heaven
of 64 votes, 6% like it
|
Old Schooler : Nice way to call someone an old has-been
of 65 votes, 9% like it
|
|
IF FOUND: please don't tell my parents
of 69 votes, 22% like it
|
I'm not fat. I'm just over-stocked in case of famine.
of 67 votes, 21% like it
|
World Froglicking Champion
of 59 votes, 5% like it
|
|
if you have a blue collar, don't bother to holler
of 59 votes, 5% like it
|
did Diddy do it ?
of 59 votes, 3% like it
|
The world is full of morons, but they all live in my town.
of 60 votes, 12% like it
|
|
my best friend is my xbox 360
of 59 votes, 2% like it
|
I'm in the Zone
of 61 votes, 3% like it
|
Party At My Place
of 61 votes, 8% like it
|
|
Yes. I was raised in a barn.
of 66 votes, 15% like it
|
I'm in a hurry 'cause I really have to poop !
of 66 votes, 8% like it
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Vote For Me ! I can sing as good as Sanjaya
of 66 votes, 9% like it
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|
So tell me why the judges kept Sanjaya until the final rounds ?
of 66 votes, 6% like it
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Forget Sanjaya ! Hung is my Hero !
of 66 votes, 3% like it
|
Breaking All the Rules For 2 Decades
of 66 votes, 6% like it
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Making a Negative Impact Every Day
of 66 votes, 11% like it
|
Proud Graduate : Online School of Basket Weaving
of 66 votes, 2% like it
|
What ? I gave my usual 40 %
of 67 votes, 7% like it
|
|
spandex is not my friend
of 63 votes, 8% like it
|
it's useless to struggle
of 63 votes, 10% like it
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genetically unstable
of 63 votes, 14% like it
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Warning : evil lies within
of 62 votes, 8% like it
|
my dog really DID eat my homework
of 62 votes, 3% like it
|
Howdy Ya'll
of 62 votes, 3% like it
|
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Peel 'N Eat
of 62 votes, 8% like it
|
iguana hold your hand
of 63 votes, 8% like it
|
Freeloaders Need Not Apply
of 62 votes, 8% like it
|
|
I already had Britney's new hair style before she made it popular
of 57 votes, 12% like it
|
organic means there are still dead bugs and rat droppings in it
of 55 votes, 15% like it
|
I don't have to be politically correct. I'm not a politician.
of 71 votes, 34% like it
|
|
if you had a monkey in your pants, you would act this way too
of 70 votes, 13% like it
|
my weapon of mass destruction is in my pants
of 68 votes, 9% like it
|
creep magnet
of 68 votes, 10% like it
|
|
Mutant Monkey
of 69 votes, 7% like it
|
this is too hard
of 69 votes, 10% like it
|
Donations Always Welcome
of 71 votes, 10% like it
|
|
What's the big deal ? I always work for food.
of 70 votes, 9% like it
|
I'd rather bump into a friend than into a stranger
of 71 votes, 8% like it
|
That's Not Culture !
of 70 votes, 6% like it
|
|
the right pickle can make a world of difference
of 65 votes, 12% like it
|
I only need 2 friends. One to talk to, and one to talk about.
of 63 votes, 17% like it
|
I'm not giving up chocolate ! I am not a quitter !
of 61 votes, 13% like it
|
|
wasting time watching idiots......PRICELESS !
of 61 votes, 7% like it
|
excellence is doing ordinary things in an extraordinary way
of 62 votes, 8% like it
|
I'd rather be getting a root canal !
of 59 votes, 7% like it
|
|
Deliberately Liberal
of 61 votes, 20% like it
|
This is a disguise. I'm really a famous celebrity.
of 61 votes, 5% like it
|
Look What I Can Do ! for a fee of $1, I'll show you
of 59 votes, 3% like it
|
|
I'm just people-watching right now
of 61 votes, 15% like it
|
the world fascinates me
of 60 votes, 15% like it
|
I Blame You 100%
of 61 votes, 15% like it
|
|
People look down on me all the time. I'm short.
of 61 votes, 15% like it
|
Every minute you are angry is a minute of happiness lost
of 65 votes, 12% like it
|
Let's share the chores. You cook, I'll eat.
of 67 votes, 19% like it
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|
don't ask me any questions. my hamster needs a break
of 66 votes, 9% like it
|
If you can't get in the game, be the referee !
of 66 votes, 12% like it
|
I prefer my food to be slow
of 66 votes, 12% like it
|
|
It's time for a reality check. The last one bounced.
of 66 votes, 11% like it
|
If you can't laugh at yourself....someone else will.
of 67 votes, 16% like it
|
Everyone makes mistakes. Some just know how to hide them better.
of 67 votes, 15% like it
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|
At my age, one hard sneeze and BOOM! I lose my bladder control
of 66 votes, 8% like it
|
part of life's mystery is NOT knowing it's meaning
of 67 votes, 16% like it
|
VOTE ME FOR PRESIDENT I could do just as well
of 67 votes, 13% like it
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|
I once saw a leprechaun. But I tripped over Santa and he got away
of 66 votes, 15% like it
|
I found a 4-leaf clover but my hand broke before I could pick it
of 65 votes, 8% like it
|
Starving & Suppressed Future Famous Artist
of 63 votes, 14% like it
|
|
I wonder if there's an easy way to strap a keg to my back ?
of 64 votes, 5% like it
|
my hard drive seems to like your soft ware
of 65 votes, 9% like it
|
Wanna trade clothes ?
of 65 votes, 5% like it
|
|
I'm Having A Super Duper Happy Fun Day
of 66 votes, 12% like it
|
Does greatness have an expiration date ?
of 65 votes, 22% like it
|
I roam out of my zone with reckless abandon
of 61 votes, 5% like it
|
|
You can never please everyone unless it's a buffet.
of 61 votes, 16% like it
|
Guru of Game Glitching
of 61 votes, 5% like it
|
Poke My Piggy !
of 60 votes, 7% like it
|
|
I'm about to say something warm and mushy to you....HAIRBALL!
of 61 votes, 5% like it
|
A gang of wild cats invaded my house! It was a catastrophe!
of 59 votes, 7% like it
|
Tell Me Something Naughty
of 61 votes, 5% like it
|
|
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have any film
of 60 votes, 25% like it
|
Welcome to America ....now speak English
of 60 votes, 8% like it
|
Don't let your mind wander. It's too small to be out by itself
of 62 votes, 21% like it
|
|
The proctologist called....they found your head
of 59 votes, 10% like it
|
I used to have a handle on life....but it broke off
of 61 votes, 16% like it
|
When The End Is Near, Step On The Brakes
of 62 votes, 11% like it
|
|
Get Used 2 It
of 63 votes, 3% like it
|
Feel, or No Feel ?
of 62 votes, 10% like it
|
This is what HOT looks like.
of 66 votes, 6% like it
|
|
A Ninja Ate My Homework
of 66 votes, 11% like it
|
Ninja + Minnie Mouse = a Ninnie
of 66 votes, 3% like it
|
Ninja+Accountant on laxatives=Nincompoop
of 65 votes, 5% like it
|
|
Ninjas land on their feet. Footless ninjas land on their nubs.
of 67 votes, 15% like it
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I eat Ninjas for breakfast.
of 65 votes, 17% like it
|
Oh, go google yourself !
of 69 votes, 16% like it
|
|
I'm sick. I caught a virus from my computer.
of 66 votes, 12% like it
|
You're Such A Troll !
of 66 votes, 3% like it
|
My iPod is smarter than You !
of 63 votes, 6% like it
|
|
The task ahead of you is never as great as the Power within you
of 62 votes, 6% like it
|
I Collect Dogs
of 52 votes, 4% like it
|
I Collect Cats
of 52 votes, 13% like it
|
|
I'm The Crazy Cat Lady That Lives Down The Street
of 50 votes, 8% like it
|
Laughter Is The Tranquilizer With No Side Effects
of 53 votes, 15% like it
|
I'd rather be walking my panda
of 47 votes, 13% like it
|
|
Reality is only how my senses perceive it
of 46 votes, 9% like it
|
You only have so many Saturdays in your lifetime, so enjoy them
of 47 votes, 15% like it
|
True Art Comes From The Soul
of 47 votes, 4% like it
|
|
You're A Troll
of 45 votes, 4% like it
|
You're A Furry Little Gnome And I feed You Too Much !
of 44 votes, 5% like it
|
Too Much of a Good Thing For You to Handle
of 44 votes, 9% like it
|
|
Top of The Food Chain and Proud of It
of 46 votes, 20% like it
|
Beware. I break hearts on a weekly basis.
of 45 votes, 16% like it
|
MAN TRAINER : so their 2nd wife will get a good man
of 44 votes, 14% like it
|
|
To get the finer things in life, start a riot.
of 48 votes, 21% like it
|
You Underestimate My Powers !
of 45 votes, 4% like it
|
100% Absorbent
of 46 votes, 17% like it
|
|
You wanna see my gnome ?
of 48 votes, 21% like it
|
Bad Monkey ! Now You Get No Bananas !
of 44 votes, 5% like it
|
I love monkeys. They taste just like chicken.
of 44 votes, 9% like it
|
|
Pirate of Peace
of 44 votes, 14% like it
|
Breaking All the Rules
of 44 votes, 5% like it
|
I am Mortified by That
of 44 votes, 14% like it
|
|
Excuse me , waiter, there is a panda in my soup !
of 44 votes, 16% like it
|
Naughty When I Sleep
of 44 votes, 9% like it
|
I'm having an identity crisis, so I just stole yours
of 45 votes, 13% like it
|
|
you already know way too much about me
of 44 votes, 16% like it
|
As you can see, I'm overjoyed
of 44 votes, 9% like it
|
I screwed Osama's Mama
of 45 votes, 4% like it
|
|
Osama's Mama sleeps with a llama
of 44 votes, 7% like it
|
Osama's Mama wears see-thru pajamas
of 44 votes, 5% like it
|
And now for your viewing pleasure, I present myself in 3-D
of 47 votes, 28% like it
|
|
Let's bitch slap Osama's Mama
of 46 votes, 7% like it
|
I would like to slap Osama's Mama
of 45 votes, 2% like it
|
Life is like a tumbleweed, just blowing by.
of 44 votes, 7% like it
|
|
I'm Not With Stupid Anymore. Now I'm With Idiot.
of 46 votes, 15% like it
|
Full of Bologney
of 44 votes, 11% like it
|
I'm in my Special Place
of 45 votes, 16% like it
|
|
My cat carries off our dirty socks. She thinks they are road kill
of 45 votes, 13% like it
|
Come On Down ! You're The Next Contestant
of 44 votes, 2% like it
|
Tempting The Devil Every Chance I Get
of 46 votes, 4% like it
|
|
I'm taking it to a whole new level
of 45 votes, 2% like it
|
Hey Inetta ! Dat Bitch !
of 45 votes, 4% like it
|
A Royal Flush is when the Queen uses the crapper.
of 45 votes, 7% like it
|
|
Cover all your bases. That way the other team can't step on them
of 45 votes, 9% like it
|
Follow your instincts. Mine keep getting me lost.
of 46 votes, 7% like it
|
Test your own limits and keep going.
of 45 votes, 9% like it
|
|
Smile. People will wonder what you've been up to.
of 44 votes, 11% like it
|
Discover Yourself
of 45 votes, 11% like it
|
Decorate Your Life
of 46 votes, 7% like it
|
|
Get Stupid
of 44 votes, 2% like it
|
I Brake For Ladybugs
of 45 votes, 9% like it
|
I saw a penguin dancing in my snow cones.
of 45 votes, 13% like it
|
|
A whale put Jonah down the hatch, but spit up when he scratched
of 45 votes, 2% like it
|
roses are pink on graves of those who drive and drink
of 46 votes, 2% like it
|
I Hold The Couch- Potato World Record
of 45 votes, 9% like it
|
|
Master Thumb-Wrestling Champion
of 45 votes, 13% like it
|
If we are all God's children, then He needs to spank some of us
of 46 votes, 13% like it
|
lower your standards, so you can date me
of 45 votes, 9% like it
|
|
If you are what you eat, what would you really like to eat ?
of 45 votes, 9% like it
|
I've Just Won A Free Vacation ! It's Somewhere Called Bogus Swamp
of 45 votes, 7% like it
|
I've been explored by Dora
of 45 votes, 11% like it
|
|
Can I Have A Bite Of Your Ice Cream ?
of 45 votes, 7% like it
|
Right Now I Am Ignoring My Prime Directive
of 45 votes, 13% like it
|
Love Needs No Introduction
of 47 votes, 9% like it
|
|
I see you are in Hyper Dork Over-Drive
of 45 votes, 2% like it
|
I'm glad you got to see me today
of 44 votes, 7% like it
|
I treat my body like a temple. And in my temple I store fast food
of 46 votes, 4% like it
|
|
CAUTION : I may contradict myself at any given moment
of 46 votes, 11% like it
|
Wasteland of Wisdom
of 45 votes, 9% like it
|
My Mind Is A Blank Slate
of 44 votes, 5% like it
|
|
the warden let me out today for good behavior
of 45 votes, 18% like it
|
I like shiny things and cushioned walls
of 45 votes, 7% like it
|
Girl Power Comes From Chocolate
of 44 votes, 9% like it
|
|
my gramma can beat up emo kids
of 45 votes, 11% like it
|
This shirt has been censored for my Gramma's protection
of 44 votes, 2% like it
|
I think I just soiled myself
of 43 votes, 12% like it
|
|
I have shoes older than You
of 43 votes, 16% like it
|
Seeking Bad Girl
of 43 votes, 5% like it
|
Seeking Bad Boy
of 43 votes, 2% like it
|
|
My Advice : Never Listen To Me
of 43 votes, 14% like it
|
SM seeking SF
of 43 votes, 7% like it
|
SF seeking SM
of 44 votes, 7% like it
|
|
Are you off your meds ?!?
of 43 votes, 7% like it
|
Is yours an outey or an inney ?
of 44 votes, 16% like it
|
You Are About To Witness My Dark Side
of 43 votes, 14% like it
|
|
I'm an Old School Bully, looking for fresh meat.
of 43 votes, 2% like it
|
You should keep me around. I bring good luck.
of 45 votes, 7% like it
|
Smell You ! Shouldn't Have To Tell You !
of 43 votes, 5% like it
|
|
I choose to show my intelligence a little at a time.
of 44 votes, 16% like it
|
I'm Unpure
of 43 votes, 7% like it
|
Valedictorian, School of Warfare
of 45 votes, 4% like it
|
|
Party Prowler
of 44 votes, 7% like it
|
I'm a sheep in wolf's clothing
of 43 votes, 2% like it
|
Womb for Rent
of 45 votes, 16% like it
|
|
Monkey See. Monkey Poo.
of 44 votes, 7% like it
|
My dogs behave better than your kids.
of 44 votes, 20% like it
|
I don't do Yoga. I do Yogurt.
of 44 votes, 7% like it
|
|
Work smarter. Allocate more.
of 43 votes, 9% like it
|
I've been over the fence. The grass is actually brown.
of 45 votes, 18% like it
|
You can run. I'll hide.
of 43 votes, 14% like it
|
|
Life is care-free in a garden of kittens
of 43 votes, 14% like it
|
I should have stayed in bed today
of 43 votes, 12% like it
|
Country Bumpkin on the Loose
of 44 votes, 5% like it
|
|
Working for a living beats living for work !
of 44 votes, 7% like it
|
Antiques are only worth something if someone remembers what it is
of 45 votes, 18% like it
|
Even if money grew on trees, banks already own all the branches
of 44 votes, 14% like it
|
|
Times have changed. Now I need a Sweet-N-Low Daddy
of 43 votes, 12% like it
|
If aliens are so smart, why do they only abduct the dumb people?
of 43 votes, 12% like it
|
Meetings are the supervisors alternative to work.
of 43 votes, 12% like it
|
|
I received Top Red Nose Honors from Clown College.
of 44 votes, 9% like it
|
PMS is a nicer way to say Mad Cow Disease
of 44 votes, 11% like it
|
Never take a discount cruise. You only visit Davy Jones' Locker
of 44 votes, 11% like it
|
|
you know you are drunk when you have to hold onto the floor
of 46 votes, 22% like it
|
Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home some day
of 46 votes, 17% like it
|
If at first you don't succeed, destroy any evidence you tried
of 46 votes, 24% like it
|
|
I'm having an out-of-memory experience
of 44 votes, 7% like it
|
When God made you, the mold was already broken.
of 43 votes, 14% like it
|
Hard work never killed anyone, but why risk it ?
of 42 votes, 21% like it
|
|
Venomous Vixen
of 43 votes, 14% like it
|
I'm a Vegetarian who is not an animal-lover. I am a plant-hater
of 45 votes, 18% like it
|
Bigamy and Monogamy mean the same thing: having 1 wife too many
of 45 votes, 20% like it
|
|
I know how to stuff a sausage.
of 44 votes, 14% like it
|
Captain Gullible
of 44 votes, 9% like it
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Let's Have A Worldwide Chicken BBQ So We Can End Avian Flu
of 44 votes, 16% like it
|
|
I am Captain Baldo, of the Planet ChromeDome
of 44 votes, 9% like it
|
I Need A Spanking Really Bad
of 44 votes, 9% like it
|
extrEMO suprEMO
of 44 votes, 9% like it
|
|
Blood Thirsty Vampire At Large
of 44 votes, 2% like it
|
There's an emo in every home
of 44 votes, 16% like it
|
I wish a slow, grueling death to all hornets !
of 43 votes, 7% like it
|
|
Don't eat that ! You don't know where it's been !
of 42 votes, 7% like it
|
My Identity Was Stolen. That Loser Is Stuck With My Bills Now!
of 43 votes, 9% like it
|
Design Genius
of 43 votes, 5% like it
|
|
Sir Isaac Newton : Colorwheel Genius
of 43 votes, 7% like it
|
I don't know HOW my vector ended up in there.
of 43 votes, 12% like it
|
I have been visually enhanced for your satisfaction
of 43 votes, 14% like it
|
|
ICE BITCH
of 43 votes, 5% like it
|
Hired Gun For Hire
of 44 votes, 9% like it
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It's All Good Until It's Gone
of 44 votes, 16% like it
|
|
Shut up or I will stab you with the Sword of Silence !
of 43 votes, 21% like it
|
Home is where your sweetie is
of 42 votes, 12% like it
|
I could sop you up with a biscuit !
of 43 votes, 12% like it
|
|
Mooch Monkey
of 43 votes, 2% like it
|
Can I join your space ?
of 43 votes, 12% like it
|
Quit Following Me ! I don't know where I'm going.
of 42 votes, 14% like it
|
|
Can I google you ?
of 43 votes, 14% like it
|
I have no idea what I mean.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
|
If I only had a gnome....
of 45 votes, 22% like it
|
|
I'll bet someone you love needs someone to hug.
of 43 votes, 9% like it
|
I'm not fat. When I was a kid, I swallowed a watermelon seed...
of 45 votes, 22% like it
|
Social Oddity
of 43 votes, 14% like it
|
|
I'm happy as long as I get my daily fix of You !
of 43 votes, 7% like it
|
My Computer Has A Retro Virus ...It's had It Since The 1960s
of 45 votes, 11% like it
|
and just when you thought you had seen everything.....
of 45 votes, 13% like it
|
|
There's Always A Catch
of 43 votes, 9% like it
|
If friends were flowers, I'd pick you.
of 43 votes, 19% like it
|
I work just so I can give money to the bill collectors
of 42 votes, 5% like it
|
|
Super-Genius Monkey
of 42 votes, 2% like it
|
I fell off the band wagon. So I missed the concert.
of 45 votes, 16% like it
|
In the sea of love, I found my anchor.
of 43 votes, 7% like it
|
|
Online Shopaholic
of 43 votes, 5% like it
|
If I fall off a cliff, you still can't have my big screen TV
of 43 votes, 9% like it
|
Street Savvy
of 43 votes, 5% like it
|
|
Love to Limbo !
of 43 votes, 12% like it
|
cock-a-doodle-moo ?!
of 43 votes, 9% like it
|
I'm Beauty. You wanna be my Beast ?
of 42 votes, 2% like it
|
|
everything you see was created by a designer
of 42 votes, 19% like it
|
Back when I was a kid, we walked 10 miles through snow to school
of 44 votes, 20% like it
|
I have a Hot Dog Fetish
of 43 votes, 5% like it
|
|
Forbidden Fruit
of 43 votes, 9% like it
|
Words are my weapons of mass destruction
of 43 votes, 16% like it
|
Dainty as a Daisy
of 43 votes, 7% like it
|
|
If I lived in a mansion, there would just be more to clean.
of 43 votes, 5% like it
|
COMPLAINTS $1.00
of 42 votes, 17% like it
|
there's a clog in my blog
of 43 votes, 7% like it
|
|
Don't Be Cracking On My Stacking
of 43 votes, 9% like it
|
Don't Piss Me Off
of 43 votes, 5% like it
|
Creatures with Rust should be removed from the Sea
of 42 votes, 7% like it
|
|
Just say NO to Twiggy-Chicks
of 43 votes, 2% like it
|
If your ribs are showing, I will call the Animal Cruelty Hotline
of 42 votes, 10% like it
|
If your ribs are showing, I will go get some BBQ sauce
of 43 votes, 5% like it
|
|
I play Restaurant Roulette
of 43 votes, 5% like it
|
Rated G for Family Fun
of 42 votes, 12% like it
|
Zombie Hunter for Hire
of 42 votes, 10% like it
|
|
I can fix anything with duct tape.
of 42 votes, 14% like it
|
I've got your flag !
of 42 votes, 7% like it
|
Cute as a Cupcake
of 43 votes, 12% like it
|
|
All I need in my survival kit is some water and some T.P.
of 42 votes, 7% like it
|
Wild and Wooly
of 42 votes, 7% like it
|
cute and cuddly, but cantankerous
of 43 votes, 7% like it
|
|
error code #1 : User not found
of 43 votes, 7% like it
|
puttin' the FU in fun !
of 42 votes, 7% like it
|
NEWSFLASH ! I'm all you need to know.
of 43 votes, 2% like it
|
|
Always follow your brain. Your heart has a blind-spot.
of 43 votes, 2% like it
|
Attention Shoppers ! There's a blue light special in my pants
of 44 votes, 2% like it
|
For Your Viewing Pleasure...
of 43 votes, 9% like it
|
|
All Sales Final. No Refunds, No Exchanges.
of 43 votes, 2% like it
|
I carry a lobster in my pants, for protection.
of 42 votes, 10% like it
|
If everyone fell victim to SPAM, I'd have all their money.
of 43 votes, 2% like it
|
|
Spam-inator
of 43 votes, 7% like it
|
Spam in my email ends up between two slices of bread.
of 42 votes, 5% like it
|
FONT-ASTIC !
of 42 votes, 10% like it
|
|
Follow Me. I'm A Bad Influence
of 43 votes, 12% like it
|
My boss said "All your days are belong to me."
of 42 votes, 5% like it
|
LeeeeRoy Jeeennkins !
of 43 votes, 14% like it
|
|
Dragon My Ass
of 42 votes, 7% like it
|
How to please any Man : 1) Be Naked 2) Bring Food
of 44 votes, 9% like it
|
A Whole Bunch To Love
of 43 votes, 2% like it
|
|
An afterthought is the realization you made a mistake.
of 44 votes, 9% like it
|
You Throw Like A Girl !
of 42 votes, 10% like it
|
Jesus is My Main Man
of 44 votes, 16% like it
|
|
I'm disgusted, but I can't look away.
of 44 votes, 14% like it
|
Stop This Shit !
of 43 votes, 2% like it
|
Master Hacker for Hire
of 44 votes, 9% like it
|
|
I wear midgets as earrings.
of 44 votes, 9% like it
|
I fear kittens and grapes.
of 44 votes, 11% like it
|
When I kissed a frog, he peed on me.
of 44 votes, 20% like it
|
|
I don't have nightmares, I have daymares.
of 43 votes, 9% like it
|
Never hiccup when you spit-up
of 43 votes, 5% like it
|
I can't wait to retire...Becoming a store greeter is my dream !
of 45 votes, 11% like it
|
|
good things come in EXPENSIVE packages
of 44 votes, 9% like it
|
I Won The Lottery ! I won another free ticket.
of 43 votes, 5% like it
|
Ignorance Can't be Ignored
of 43 votes, 7% like it
|
|
I think I may have just sharted.
of 43 votes, 5% like it
|
Can you feel it ?
of 43 votes, 5% like it
|
ENTER BELOW
of 43 votes, 7% like it
|
|
Medium Density
of 43 votes, 5% like it
|
Slinky Champion of the World
of 44 votes, 14% like it
|
I'm SleepWalking ! Leave me Alone !
of 43 votes, 5% like it
|
|
Does my head look abnormally big to you ?
of 43 votes, 2% like it
|
The Tot doesn't fall far from the Tater.
of 43 votes, 14% like it
|
I Defy Danger! I run with scissors and throw balls in the house!
of 45 votes, 13% like it
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I once flew over a cuckoo's nest.
of 45 votes, 18% like it
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I never share
of 44 votes, 9% like it
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I'm Always Good
of 44 votes, 7% like it
|
|
Your Mom Has Been In Myspace
of 44 votes, 11% like it
|
Has there ever been a rodeo on Rodeo Drive ?
of 44 votes, 9% like it
|
I am Retro ! No cell phone, no caller-id, no iPod. No Fun!
of 43 votes, 7% like it
|
|
67% of people would say their favorite food on a cob is corn
of 44 votes, 16% like it
|
Still 100% Cell Phone-Free
of 45 votes, 9% like it
|
Remember, Jesus did NOT forgive Judas.
of 45 votes, 11% like it
|
|
Support Your Local Homeless People, so they won't move to my town
of 44 votes, 16% like it
|
In the grand scheme of life, you still mean nothing to me.
of 44 votes, 14% like it
|
Addicted to Art
of 43 votes, 9% like it
|
|
Would you die for me ? Jesus Did.
of 44 votes, 20% like it
|
If the road ends, I'll just keep going.
of 40 votes, 8% like it
|
You must succumb to the power of the Girl Scouts !
of 44 votes, 9% like it
|
|
Weiner Monkey
of 41 votes, 5% like it
|
I am coffee-lingo challenged.
of 41 votes, 5% like it
|
I'm Retro-Modern
of 41 votes, 7% like it
|
|
My dating life is so dry, there's a tumbleweed blowing by.
of 41 votes, 5% like it
|
If anyone can do what I do, why do I do it ?
of 42 votes, 10% like it
|
Trust in The Midget
of 42 votes, 5% like it
|
|
You're The Bestest Ever
of 41 votes, 5% like it
|
My third eye is watching you.
of 41 votes, 5% like it
|
Tantalize My Tenderloins
of 41 votes, 7% like it
|
|
That Ladybug was really a Thug.
of 41 votes, 2% like it
|
Just A Damn Minute !
of 41 votes, 7% like it
|
If you pop your collar, I surely will holler.
of 42 votes, 10% like it
|
|
If I start stuttering around her, just smack me with a flounder.
of 41 votes, 10% like it
|
I brake for Zombies.
of 41 votes, 7% like it
|
I brake for shoe sales.
of 41 votes, 2% like it
|
|
Glad to be Retired ! Or did I just get fired ?
of 41 votes, 5% like it
|
When you're feeling the passion, Victoria has the fashion.
of 41 votes, 2% like it
|
CAUTION: Objects in this shirt appear larger than they really are
of 41 votes, 7% like it
|
|
Full of It
of 41 votes, 7% like it
|
If I have to think too hard, my brain shuts down
of 42 votes, 14% like it
|
Glitch Bitch
of 42 votes, 7% like it
|
|
I might be clueless, but I couldn't care less.
of 43 votes, 12% like it
|
I See Ugly People
of 43 votes, 12% like it
|
No. Final Answer.
of 43 votes, 14% like it
|
|
If you got killed today.....I'm Sowwwiiiieeee !
of 42 votes, 5% like it
|
I'm know what you're thinking, but I'm tall for my people
of 43 votes, 14% like it
|
You lie like a sack of potatoes !
of 42 votes, 5% like it
|
|
Havoc on the Highway
of 42 votes, 2% like it
|
Insane in the Brain
of 42 votes, 7% like it
|
come sit with me under a tree
of 42 votes, 7% like it
|
|
I'm just a fool, sitting on a stool, wiping my drool.
of 42 votes, 5% like it
|
My spirit guide is a platypus.
of 45 votes, 24% like it
|
Just Me and You in a Cannibal's Stew
of 42 votes, 19% like it
|
|
I'm From Down Yonder
of 42 votes, 2% like it
|
Mad Props To You
of 42 votes, 2% like it
|
I came from up the road a piece.
of 42 votes, 5% like it
|
|
What's It Gonna Take ?!
of 42 votes, 2% like it
|
Designer Extraordinaire
of 41 votes, 7% like it
|
Use Your Mind. Create A Design.
of 41 votes, 7% like it
|
|
I Designed My Life
of 42 votes, 10% like it
|
A True Graphics Designer Doesn't Need Text
of 41 votes, 7% like it
|
Use Your Eyes, Not Your Mouth
of 41 votes, 5% like it
|
|
Just Visualize It
of 41 votes, 2% like it
|
Graphic Designers Answer Life's Questions Without A Single Word
of 43 votes, 9% like it
|
You Doodle. I Design.
of 43 votes, 9% like it
|
|
I got rid of my bad credit. I let someone steal my identity.
of 42 votes, 7% like it
|
The Biggest Hugs Are From Heaven
of 41 votes, 2% like it
|
Girlfriend 6.0 Upgrade
of 42 votes, 2% like it
|
|
Boyfriend 6.0 Upgrade
of 42 votes, 5% like it
|
The last time I saw something that ugly, I flushed it
of 45 votes, 9% like it
|
The last time I saw something that ugly, I flushed it
of 43 votes, 5% like it
|
|
Idiots Shouldn't Be Allowed To Breed
of 43 votes, 9% like it
|
I give encore performances
of 42 votes, 5% like it
|
No, I don't smell anything.
of 42 votes, 2% like it
|
|
I Got To Be Me ! I sure wouldn't want to be you.
of 42 votes, 7% like it
|
I'm Taller on a Good Day
of 43 votes, 9% like it
|
Well now you've gone and done it !
of 42 votes, 7% like it
|
|
If we are what we eat, I must be cheap, fast, and greasy
of 44 votes, 14% like it
|
I feel like I've been rode hard and put up wet
of 42 votes, 7% like it
|
I'm Madder Than A Wet Hornet
of 42 votes, 2% like it
|
|
Justice is a Matter of Opinion
of 42 votes, 7% like it
|
Shameless Egomaniac
of 42 votes, 7% like it
|
Chocolate is my Kryptonite
of 43 votes, 9% like it
|
|
It's Gi-normous !
of 42 votes, 5% like it
|
You know what burns me ?
of 42 votes, 2% like it
|
I just felt some more brain cells dying
of 42 votes, 7% like it
|
|
You Turd-Bucket !
of 42 votes, 2% like it
|
the public eye is watching you
of 42 votes, 5% like it
|
Terrorist= A Coward That Can't Face You Alone
of 42 votes, 2% like it
|
|
Fear is what keeps you safe.
of 43 votes, 5% like it
|
Fantasy Is Better Than Reality
of 45 votes, 11% like it
|
Peel Me Like A Banana
of 43 votes, 5% like it
|
|
Two Heads Are Better Than One, So Guys Must Be Better Than Girls
of 46 votes, 11% like it
|
I See Dead People...They're called Zombies
of 44 votes, 9% like it
|
Little Brother For Sale.... $1
of 45 votes, 13% like it
|
|
I'm Bi-Polar. I've lived at the North Pole and the South Pole
of 44 votes, 9% like it
|
My parents have one thing in common. Both want no more kids
of 46 votes, 17% like it
|
As long as there are final exams, there will be prayer in school
of 46 votes, 13% like it
|
|
You may bow before me.
of 46 votes, 13% like it
|
Housework? I own my house, it doesn't own me.
of 44 votes, 7% like it
|
sorry, I left my barrel of monkeys at home
of 46 votes, 13% like it
|
|
Feast your eyes on THIS
of 44 votes, 9% like it
|
All hands go below deck !
of 43 votes, 7% like it
|
Moses parted the Red Sea, and brought us Jerry Seinfeld.
of 45 votes, 11% like it
|
|
CAUTION : Men Thinking
of 45 votes, 11% like it
|
Coffee Worshipper
of 45 votes, 7% like it
|
Condom-Free : Do it for life.
of 45 votes, 11% like it
|
|
Destination Unknown
of 44 votes, 5% like it
|
Retired= No more crap. Take a nap.
of 44 votes, 7% like it
|
Trolls R Us
of 48 votes, 6% like it
|
|
Can I get an AMEN ?!
of 49 votes, 18% like it
|
How weird are you ?
of 49 votes, 2% like it
|
I like creepy crawly things.
of 48 votes, 2% like it
|
|
I don't wanna grow up !
of 49 votes, 6% like it
|
Viagra merges with Hair Fairy! New pill grows stuff at both ends
of 48 votes, 2% like it
|
I mow crop circles for fun
of 51 votes, 20% like it
|
|
If you be good, I'll give you a cookie.
of 51 votes, 12% like it
|
back-talk to your mama and you'll get a back-hand from your mama
of 48 votes, 6% like it
|
Because I'm your mother and I said so !
of 52 votes, 8% like it
|
|
Because I'm your father and I said so !
of 53 votes, 11% like it
|
Be a rebel ! Don't wear deodorant !
of 51 votes, 10% like it
|
Old Age brings the three W's : wise, wrinkled, and worn out
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
|
I just threw chewing gum in your hair !
of 50 votes, 6% like it
|
A lazy man's advice on teeth: don't brush 'em, just pull 'em !
of 52 votes, 2% like it
|
I'm conserving my energy. I'm adding an elevator in my home.
of 52 votes, 10% like it
|
|
the last thing you want to hear is your dentist saying Ooops !
of 52 votes, 6% like it
|
I still don't get it
of 48 votes, 13% like it
|
On the road to success, I lost my map
of 51 votes, 12% like it
|
|
your life was boring before you met me
of 50 votes, 4% like it
|
I am playing hooky from my Honey-Do list
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
Free Birth Control: just visualize your gramma naked.
of 50 votes, 10% like it
|
|
>_< doh !
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
O_O I have seen how tofu is made.
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
Need a playmate ?
of 49 votes, 6% like it
|
|
The Big Enchilada
of 50 votes, 6% like it
|
Had enough yet ?
of 51 votes, 4% like it
|
Master Pretzel Bender
of 50 votes, 2% like it
|
|
tender vittles
of 50 votes, 4% like it
|
feel free to charm my pants off
of 51 votes, 12% like it
|
Defender of my Gender
of 51 votes, 8% like it
|
|
I'm waging war against my hormones !
of 52 votes, 12% like it
|
The baby ate your dingo !
of 53 votes, 9% like it
|
Beer is for sissies ! Try drinking milk straight from the cow !
of 51 votes, 6% like it
|
|
whatever you've got to say, save it for the judge
of 52 votes, 4% like it
|
Howdy Ya'll ! I'm from Podunk !
of 48 votes, 2% like it
|
I was Born Again ! I fell into a recycling machine.
of 50 votes, 2% like it
|
|
Come over for dinner ? We're having road kill stew.
of 49 votes, 2% like it
|
You are driving me crazy ! Pull Over !
of 48 votes, 6% like it
|
I'm wearing invisible spray
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
|
I'm Your Sugar Lamb !
of 50 votes, 4% like it
|
The Big Bacon
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
made of 95% recycled materials
of 50 votes, 10% like it
|
|
Soul Punisher
of 49 votes, 2% like it
|
my unicorn ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time
of 49 votes, 6% like it
|
After I fill up on burgers and dogs, I'll destroy your lawn
of 48 votes, 8% like it
|
|
I have Delusions of Grandeur
of 49 votes, 6% like it
|
Hippocracy is a government for hippos
of 52 votes, 15% like it
|
I am the Boogey Man
of 49 votes, 2% like it
|
|
One Hit Wonder : after I hit that cop I lost my driver's license
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
I'm Legendary
of 49 votes, 2% like it
|
Moms are made in Heaven
of 49 votes, 8% like it
|
|
Original PONG Gamer
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
Gamer 4 Life
of 49 votes, 8% like it
|
Simon Says : that was simply dreadful !
of 48 votes, 6% like it
|
|
I curse in your general direction
of 49 votes, 10% like it
|
old fogey magnet
of 46 votes, 2% like it
|
Winning isn't for Losers
of 48 votes, 6% like it
|
|
chika-chika- boom-boom !
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
Geez Louise !
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
CAN YOU STOP WITH THE BUTT CRACK DISPLAY ?!
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
|
I see your belly !
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
Feeling Froggy !
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
my dream job is to be a garbage man
of 49 votes, 2% like it
|
|
Yoda is the Ultimate Ninja
of 50 votes, 10% like it
|
Don't know, don't care.
of 51 votes, 10% like it
|
Be yourself, because you can't be Me !
of 51 votes, 10% like it
|
|
the only good snake is a dead snake
of 50 votes, 8% like it
|
my sausage is smoked
of 50 votes, 4% like it
|
Retired Ninja
of 51 votes, 12% like it
|
|
Dragon Slayer For Hire
of 51 votes, 4% like it
|
I'm stacked in the back
of 50 votes, 4% like it
|
Quicksand Sucks
of 50 votes, 4% like it
|
|
I Hate Bob
of 50 votes, 10% like it
|
Superficial Hero
of 50 votes, 6% like it
|
your future is on a collision course with you
of 51 votes, 10% like it
|
|
Enter At Your Own Risk
of 50 votes, 2% like it
|
Scruffy but cute. Looking for new home.
of 52 votes, 12% like it
|
Dominating My Domain
of 50 votes, 6% like it
|
|
Refrain from the Insane
of 49 votes, 2% like it
|
Marvel At My Madness
of 50 votes, 2% like it
|
Secret Nympho
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
|
sorry I blinded you with my pastey whiteness
of 51 votes, 8% like it
|
Frenzy of Fun
of 51 votes, 4% like it
|
Heartless Hussy
of 53 votes, 8% like it
|
|
I'm going to slap you senseless
of 52 votes, 4% like it
|
Hot Rod Hero
of 53 votes, 4% like it
|
Hell Cat
of 53 votes, 4% like it
|
|
Muscle Car Maniac
of 53 votes, 6% like it
|
Classic Car Crazy
of 53 votes, 2% like it
|
nasty ass
of 52 votes, 2% like it
|
|
it doesn't mean anything
of 52 votes, 6% like it
|
Genuine Genius
of 52 votes, 6% like it
|
Darn Your Hide Anyway !
of 52 votes, 2% like it
|
|
Certifiably Certain
of 52 votes, 4% like it
|
Ninjas Are Chuck Norris Wannabes
of 56 votes, 14% like it
|
I want to pillage your village
of 52 votes, 10% like it
|
|
4th of July is America's excuse to get drunk and blow stuff up
of 54 votes, 7% like it
|
I want to be your BooBoo
of 52 votes, 8% like it
|
Every Christmas I get just what I want. I buy myself a present.
of 52 votes, 4% like it
|
|
If your parrot has a peg leg, then you may be a pirate
of 52 votes, 6% like it
|
Keelhaul Me
of 52 votes, 4% like it
|
Walk the plank, Matey !
of 52 votes, 2% like it
|
|
I look this way because I was keelhauled by a pirate
of 53 votes, 9% like it
|
My Ninja Suit is at the Cleaners
of 54 votes, 13% like it
|
Hot Tamale Pie
of 52 votes, 2% like it
|
|
I walk this way because I once fell on an xbox controller
of 51 votes, 4% like it
|
Damsel in Distress
of 52 votes, 12% like it
|
I want to clean elephant cages when I grow up !
of 52 votes, 2% like it
|
|
with a face like that, you don't need money
of 51 votes, 4% like it
|
the best gifts are tied with heartstrings
of 52 votes, 10% like it
|
Florida's Favorite Snack= peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwich
of 54 votes, 6% like it
|
|
there is no excuse for you
of 57 votes, 12% like it
|
Buddha Belly
of 53 votes, 6% like it
|
If I find greatness, it is because I stumbled into it
of 54 votes, 9% like it
|
|
I'm in a state of mass confusion
of 53 votes, 6% like it
|
Render Me Helpless !
of 52 votes, 4% like it
|
sealed for freshness
of 50 votes, 6% like it
|
|
You can't solve your problems by throwing money at them
of 52 votes, 10% like it
|
Do you feel like you're being followed ?
of 50 votes, 6% like it
|
I woke up on the wrong side of bed today
of 52 votes, 10% like it
|
|
Consider This
of 51 votes, 4% like it
|
Home is where your pillow is.
of 51 votes, 10% like it
|
Nerd by Choice
of 52 votes, 12% like it
|
|
beware of nocturnal emissions
of 51 votes, 2% like it
|
Go stand over there.
of 52 votes, 8% like it
|
Kid at Heart
of 53 votes, 15% like it
|
|
Proud Parent of a Kool Kid
of 52 votes, 8% like it
|
Kid Patrol
of 52 votes, 2% like it
|
I may not be a party animal, but at least I am a party favor
of 52 votes, 2% like it
|
|
Kids are the Future
of 52 votes, 6% like it
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Ninja Kid
of 52 votes, 6% like it
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Roosters Rule the Roost
of 53 votes, 4% like it
|
|
Kids are Kool
of 51 votes, 6% like it
|
Random Kids Rule !
of 52 votes, 8% like it
|
my life needs a pause button
of 52 votes, 12% like it
|
|
I'm Mellow Wearing Yellow
of 51 votes, 4% like it
|
Players Need Not Apply
of 51 votes, 6% like it
|
Snookie-ookums
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
|
I Need Chocolate
of 52 votes, 12% like it
|
Life goes on, until it doesn't
of 55 votes, 13% like it
|
Quit begging ! You're not a dog !
of 52 votes, 4% like it
|
|
Got Fluffernutter ?
of 53 votes, 9% like it
|
you can't get any lower than whale poop
of 52 votes, 8% like it
|
I have a computer on my desk so that I can look busy
of 52 votes, 4% like it
|
|
a daydream is from sleeping on the job
of 52 votes, 6% like it
|
Lost, but I don't want to be found
of 52 votes, 4% like it
|
Be Random
of 53 votes, 15% like it
|
|
I brake for snakes
of 52 votes, 6% like it
|
More Better
of 51 votes, 2% like it
|
pardon my exhaust
of 54 votes, 4% like it
|
|
Floss is for teeth, not butt cracks.
of 53 votes, 11% like it
|
I reserve the right to frequently change my mind.
of 54 votes, 13% like it
|
I reserve the right to contradict myself.
of 52 votes, 12% like it
|
|
I contradict myself.
of 50 votes, 8% like it
|
I see you have a Blueberi in your pants.
of 51 votes, 4% like it
|
I'm not laughing at you.......... YES I AM !
of 52 votes, 6% like it
|
|
I'm really a Prince. Kiss Me !
of 52 votes, 8% like it
|
I'm on the Endangered Species List. I'm a good woman.
of 51 votes, 10% like it
|
I'm on the Endangered Species List. I'm a good man.
of 54 votes, 13% like it
|
|
can you come out and play ?
of 51 votes, 4% like it
|
I am easily amused.
of 51 votes, 12% like it
|
Adore Me
of 52 votes, 8% like it
|
|
my gnome phoned home :(
of 52 votes, 4% like it
|
Cuddle Bug
of 53 votes, 6% like it
|
I may be a hard drive on the outside, but inside I'm all software
of 53 votes, 11% like it
|
|
I have been Formatted for Fun !
of 54 votes, 9% like it
|
I've done stranger things than this.
of 53 votes, 13% like it
|
Open Other End
of 50 votes, 6% like it
|
|
I'm the oasis in your desert.
of 52 votes, 8% like it
|
I hiccup when I fart.
of 49 votes, 8% like it
|
Are leftovers for left-handed people ?
of 53 votes, 6% like it
|
|
Warning: I may spontaneously pee in public.
of 53 votes, 2% like it
|
I can stick my toes up my nose.
of 52 votes, 4% like it
|
My mouth just turned blue. Is that bad ?
of 52 votes, 4% like it
|
|
I beat up grade school bullies.
of 49 votes, 6% like it
|
Motion on the Ocean
of 51 votes, 8% like it
|
Botox Addict
of 50 votes, 4% like it
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|
After liposuction, botox, and a bikini wax, I'd be perfect!
of 52 votes, 6% like it
|
Would Super Glue work on Superman ?
of 51 votes, 4% like it
|
would duck tape work on ducks ?
of 51 votes, 8% like it
|
|
That's it ! I'm deleting you from my Buddy List !
of 53 votes, 9% like it
|
my playstation or yours ?
of 50 votes, 6% like it
|
How come girls can't scratch their privates in public ?
of 50 votes, 4% like it
|
|
I point and laugh at you !
of 50 votes, 8% like it
|
Never scratch your privates while sitting at a glass table.....
of 50 votes, 6% like it
|
Not now ! I'm playing with my monkey.
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
|
Pirates Plunder. Ninjas Numchuck.
of 51 votes, 2% like it
|
The loonies are coming out of the woodwork !
of 53 votes, 6% like it
|
It must be a full moon.....
of 51 votes, 2% like it
|
|
Premium options available for a price.
of 50 votes, 2% like it
|
You know you want to be ME !
of 48 votes, 2% like it
|
May Be Hazardous To Your Health
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
|
Standard Equipment Only
of 49 votes, 2% like it
|
anal -retentive in so many ways
of 50 votes, 4% like it
|
Down with Beets !
of 50 votes, 4% like it
|
|
Wear it or Bare it !
of 50 votes, 4% like it
|
No refunds. No exchanges. All sales final.
of 48 votes, 2% like it
|
Proof of Purchase Required
of 48 votes, 6% like it
|
|
Warning ! Do not expose to open flame.
of 48 votes, 13% like it
|
Warning! Contents under pressure.
of 50 votes, 12% like it
|
pardon my booty
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
|
My World Wants You
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
I'm having a hair crisis !
of 48 votes, 2% like it
|
with age comes no bra, just tuck them in your underwear
of 48 votes, 6% like it
|
|
i got skillz to pay the billz
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
why is it every time I dance, someone thinks I'm having a seizure
of 50 votes, 10% like it
|
ASK ME IF I GIVE A DAMN !
of 48 votes, 2% like it
|
|
I'm not Fat, I'm Fluffy.
of 48 votes, 13% like it
|
I can Get Down ! I just don't know if I can get back up.
of 48 votes, 2% like it
|
Goofy Girl
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
|
TEMPTING
of 48 votes, 2% like it
|
TEMPT ME
of 45 votes, 7% like it
|
the hamster in my brain is on strike
of 49 votes, 6% like it
|
|
Grab life by the horns, not by the tail.
of 49 votes, 2% like it
|
Our Love is Tasty-Wicked !
of 48 votes, 2% like it
|
Life is hard. Buy plenty of pillows.
of 50 votes, 4% like it
|
|
toilet paper takes more crap than anybody
of 50 votes, 10% like it
|
On a Rampage !
of 49 votes, 6% like it
|
sing a song to make the air happy
of 49 votes, 10% like it
|
|
I failed my anger management class
of 50 votes, 6% like it
|
My Booty's got Back !
of 50 votes, 4% like it
|
peace wraps my heart like the wings of a dove
of 51 votes, 0% like it
|
|
my booty is a cutie
of 50 votes, 4% like it
|
you're so tough you could whip an egg
of 50 votes, 2% like it
|
my eyes are pools of mystery
of 50 votes, 8% like it
|
|
My firewall is on FIRE !
of 50 votes, 2% like it
|
Grandma still don't take no crap !
of 50 votes, 2% like it
|
my magic beans only grew poison ivy
of 49 votes, 6% like it
|
|
we all get thrown under the bus once in a while...
of 50 votes, 8% like it
|
jump in to a pile of leaves with me !
of 50 votes, 10% like it
|
the most wasted resource is the human mind
of 49 votes, 6% like it
|
|
God made Mountains for us to climb
of 52 votes, 12% like it
|
Colossal Fossil
of 50 votes, 4% like it
|
I'm having trouble with my garden. My jelly bean plant won't grow
of 49 votes, 6% like it
|
|
a lazy man's version of step-aerobics is elevator-aerobics
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
If I were meant to run, someone would be chasing me.
of 51 votes, 10% like it
|
if balls were meant to be played with they would say NERF on them
of 51 votes, 6% like it
|
|
keep staring much longer and I might stare back
of 49 votes, 6% like it
|
Stop making that face ! It looks better than your real one.
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
it's ok to tell me I'm fat, cuz I may not really be sure
of 50 votes, 10% like it
|
|
me bum is rather fragrant today
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
my butt is rather fragrant today
of 48 votes, 6% like it
|
what WERE you thinking ?!
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
|
possums are nature's way of providing us with speed bumps
of 50 votes, 8% like it
|
flowers grow where the sun loves the earth
of 49 votes, 2% like it
|
A piece of chocolate cake just attacked my mouth !
of 47 votes, 9% like it
|
|
a mini-Cooper is the VW bug's little brother
of 48 votes, 2% like it
|
Adopted kids are the chosen ones.
of 53 votes, 15% like it
|
no one understands you but you
of 48 votes, 6% like it
|
|
what did Fu Man chew ?
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
Crikey !
of 49 votes, 8% like it
|
ladybugs dance the jitterbug
of 47 votes, 6% like it
|
|
the last thing I would want to see is Santa in a speedo
of 46 votes, 4% like it
|
over the hill, through the woods, to grandmother's hood we go
of 47 votes, 2% like it
|
there are 2 sides to every knife
of 47 votes, 2% like it
|
|
if i hear gunshots, i will duck behind you
of 48 votes, 6% like it
|
in my free time I watch a lightbulb and a moth
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
i have bad intentions
of 49 votes, 10% like it
|
|
your goofy grin tells me you just committed a sin
of 48 votes, 6% like it
|
I like your little soldier
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
Threesome? Me, you, and Jim Beam
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
|
front seat on a rollercoaster is my favorite place to be
of 49 votes, 8% like it
|
You know what I think ? You should fetch me a drink.
of 50 votes, 10% like it
|
a one-armed man swims in circles
of 50 votes, 12% like it
|
|
the lightbulb inside my head is burned out
of 49 votes, 8% like it
|
ladybugs are pure happiness
of 53 votes, 15% like it
|
my mind is being naughty
of 48 votes, 6% like it
|
|
hanging au naturale
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
I'll throw a bee in your pants to make you do a crazy dance
of 46 votes, 2% like it
|
your only true fate is death
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
|
sippy for the lippy ?
of 48 votes, 2% like it
|
would you like to take a dip in my fountain of youth ?
of 49 votes, 2% like it
|
i have passion for fashion
of 48 votes, 2% like it
|
|
I'm imagining you in a thong
of 48 votes, 2% like it
|
too drunk to put up a fight
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
the bathroom is now under quarrantine
of 48 votes, 6% like it
|
|
my inner-monkey would throw poop at you
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
I showered.....3 days ago.
of 51 votes, 14% like it
|
on the road to success, we must drive through many potholes
of 49 votes, 8% like it
|
|
my monkey needs a hug
of 51 votes, 10% like it
|
have you seen my monkey ?
of 49 votes, 6% like it
|
legal and tender
of 50 votes, 8% like it
|
|
my inner-child needs a spanking
of 51 votes, 10% like it
|
get in the know with knowledge
of 50 votes, 6% like it
|
snails aren't slow, they're special
of 54 votes, 22% like it
|
|
I didn't listen. My face froze this way.
of 50 votes, 4% like it
|
butterflies are the drunks of the sky
of 54 votes, 19% like it
|
uber-licious !
of 50 votes, 2% like it
|
|
you are uber ugly
of 50 votes, 6% like it
|
my screws may be loose, but my nuts are tight
of 51 votes, 8% like it
|
old age hits when you first remember something from 20 years ago
of 50 votes, 6% like it
|
|
hot you are not
of 47 votes, 2% like it
|
i am the turtle in this rabbit race
of 50 votes, 10% like it
|
oldtimer with alzheimer's
of 48 votes, 2% like it
|
|
i just want to hug a koala
of 48 votes, 8% like it
|
of legal age and feelin' frisky
of 48 votes, 6% like it
|
i play with rocks, sitting in a box, with a fox and dirty socks
of 48 votes, 2% like it
|
|
they let me out one day a year, glad you are here to share it
of 50 votes, 12% like it
|
i escaped from my straight jacket
of 48 votes, 2% like it
|
better than usual
of 48 votes, 2% like it
|
|
product of my parents' drinking binge
of 48 votes, 6% like it
|
product of the backseat of a Toyota
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
i throw like a girl
of 49 votes, 6% like it
|
|
i kick teamkillers
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
your cranium is blinding me
of 49 votes, 6% like it
|
leave boys alone with their toys and look what happens....
of 49 votes, 6% like it
|
|
my only flaw is that i have to squat to pee
of 48 votes, 8% like it
|
gimme some money or i'll boil your bunny !
of 48 votes, 8% like it
|
brussels sprouts make me shout !
of 46 votes, 7% like it
|
|
Guess who i saw ? My old pal stryfe, back again to ruin my life.
of 47 votes, 4% like it
|
Out the window, what do you see ? An elf in a bush taking a pee.
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
I always get what I want for Christmas. I buy myself a present.
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
|
since your joke lacks luster, half a grin was all i could muster
of 48 votes, 6% like it
|
allow me to do my duty, moon you all and shake mah booty
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
prevent fires : wet your matches
of 47 votes, 4% like it
|
|
Goddess of Baked Goods
of 48 votes, 8% like it
|
i attract old fogeys
of 48 votes, 8% like it
|
cute as a bug
of 48 votes, 10% like it
|
|
don't poke me in my honey pot
of 47 votes, 6% like it
|
I think I just threw up a little in the back of my mouth
of 49 votes, 10% like it
|
silly hillbilly
of 48 votes, 6% like it
|
|
look what I can do !
of 48 votes, 8% like it
|
wanna see something really weird ?
of 50 votes, 10% like it
|
this is what i look like on my day off
of 50 votes, 18% like it
|
|
I'm so old that I grow mold
of 49 votes, 8% like it
|
may endless sleep come in the night
of 48 votes, 8% like it
|
i am open to indecent proposals
of 48 votes, 6% like it
|
|
Chocolate Syrup: great for a topping or a body massage
of 48 votes, 6% like it
|
Roses are red Violets are blue come over here so I can spank you
of 49 votes, 6% like it
|
Roses are red Grass is green I like your legs and what's between
of 49 votes, 8% like it
|
|
Cereal Killer: prunes on cornflakes
of 48 votes, 6% like it
|
yes i CAN hear you now !
of 48 votes, 6% like it
|
your mom said you would turn out like this
of 49 votes, 10% like it
|
|
I'm lost. Please find me.
of 50 votes, 10% like it
|
fairy dust is just fairy dandruff
of 49 votes, 10% like it
|
real women wear granny panties
of 50 votes, 12% like it
|
|
I am a mini-me
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
under this shirt is my secret treasure chest
of 50 votes, 12% like it
|
Oh I understand. Your mom must have dropped you on your head.
of 49 votes, 6% like it
|
|
Oh I understand. Your mom must have dropped you on your head.
of 49 votes, 6% like it
|
my excuse is i slipped on a banana peel
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
SURVIVOR OF CHEMICAL WARFARE the mall lady sprayed perfume on me
of 48 votes, 10% like it
|
|
SURVIVOR OF FROG ATTACK he jumped on my foot
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
PLEASE STEP BACK you are invading myspace
of 48 votes, 8% like it
|
SURVIVOR OF GNOME ATTACK he's so short i didn't see it coming
of 47 votes, 6% like it
|
|
SURVIVOR OF SPORK ATTACK i don't know what happened
of 48 votes, 8% like it
|
SURVIVOR OF SHARK ATTACK he swam under my boat
of 46 votes, 4% like it
|
SURVIVOR OF CUCUMBER ATTACK it gave me the burps
of 48 votes, 6% like it
|
|
SURVIVOR OF HAIR DRYER ATTACK it got stuck on high
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
SURVIVOR OF GOLDFISH ATTACK he nibbled my finger
of 48 votes, 8% like it
|
SURVIVOR OF BEAR ATTACK all he wanted were my french fries
of 47 votes, 4% like it
|
|
SURVIVOR OF CAT ATTACK he licked me with his scratchy tongue
of 47 votes, 2% like it
|
SURVIVOR OF DOG ATTACK the little bastard nipped my ankle
of 47 votes, 2% like it
|
shoot the monkey !
of 47 votes, 2% like it
|
|
Act like your dad not like your sis, lift the lid before you piss
of 48 votes, 2% like it
|
I am a Professional Envelope Licker
of 50 votes, 10% like it
|
The ice cream truck always comes when i have no money.
of 48 votes, 6% like it
|
|
we all poop
of 48 votes, 10% like it
|
My boyfriend is a pirate. His peg leg is my dildo.
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
A ninja ate my baby !
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
|
over 1 billion served
of 46 votes, 4% like it
|
OW ! I just got hit in the dingleberry !
of 47 votes, 4% like it
|
sasquatch eat squash
of 47 votes, 11% like it
|
|
the ostrich and the giraffe were caught necking
of 47 votes, 11% like it
|
I pwned that pizza !
of 46 votes, 2% like it
|
one person's load of crap is another person's fertilizer
of 47 votes, 6% like it
|
|
I can't sleep. The monster in my closet snores.
of 46 votes, 9% like it
|
marshmallows are snowman poop
of 48 votes, 10% like it
|
when i see dead people, they're just dead
of 46 votes, 4% like it
|
|
my hot flashes give me a sunburn
of 46 votes, 4% like it
|
mallards are the best-dressed ducks
of 48 votes, 13% like it
|
a kangaroo is just a mouse on steroids
of 46 votes, 7% like it
|
|
ever eat chicken-fried soup ?
of 47 votes, 2% like it
|
rude and crude
of 48 votes, 2% like it
|
would you like to see my buddy icon ?
of 48 votes, 2% like it
|
|
dentists drill deeper
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
Pimp my Robot
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
cell phone whore
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
|
retirement wannabe
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
my monkey spanked me
of 48 votes, 6% like it
|
everything my butt says is full of shit
of 48 votes, 8% like it
|
|
future disgruntled employee
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
support your local chest
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
I make the toothfairy jealous
of 48 votes, 2% like it
|
|
fairies are jealous little bitches
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
my imaginary friend and I aren't speaking to each other
of 48 votes, 4% like it
|
camel toes belong on camels
of 52 votes, 12% like it
|
|
touch my gnome ?
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
killer bee killed
of 49 votes, 2% like it
|
Hug my Hobbit
of 48 votes, 6% like it
|
|
Exiled from 31 countries..... and still counting.
of 49 votes, 6% like it
|
kangaroos: nature's room with a skylight
of 49 votes, 6% like it
|
i miss the banana seat on my old bike
of 50 votes, 10% like it
|
|
My motorcycle went through a chop shop, now it's a moped.
of 51 votes, 4% like it
|
girl scouts are the modern day pirates
of 51 votes, 20% like it
|
slugs are rebel snails without helmets
of 52 votes, 19% like it
|
|
Santa earns more sales commission than anyone
of 51 votes, 6% like it
|
show me yours ?
of 51 votes, 4% like it
|
come here, I have some candy for you
of 52 votes, 8% like it
|
|
eat my muffin
of 52 votes, 4% like it
|
hug my kitty ?
of 49 votes, 6% like it
|
Make a wish. You won't get it.
of 52 votes, 10% like it
|
|
down under you have thighs of thunder
of 51 votes, 6% like it
|
pizza owns me
of 49 votes, 2% like it
|
I will call a repairman ! It's clogged again.
of 50 votes, 2% like it
|
|
Get a ruler, we'll see.
of 51 votes, 12% like it
|
Kangaroos are the ninjas of the Outback
of 52 votes, 13% like it
|
Spongebob is a Hottie
of 52 votes, 10% like it
|
|
my pouty lips are dangerous
of 50 votes, 4% like it
|
The dog farted... not me.
of 49 votes, 4% like it
|
Belly Buttons: our future downloading connection
of 50 votes, 6% like it
|
|
Moan or something, would you?
of 52 votes, 6% like it
|
Life is short. Just take what it gives you.
of 51 votes, 2% like it
|
kudzu will be the last species on earth
of 51 votes, 4% like it
|
|
I didn't see you. I was just blinded by your face.
of 51 votes, 4% like it
|
FIGHT FAIR : scratching and hair-pulling only
of 51 votes, 4% like it
|
dolphins are the ninjas of the sea
of 54 votes, 19% like it
|
|
i like it with hot sauce
of 52 votes, 6% like it
|
in my former life I was Elvis Presley
of 53 votes, 2% like it
|
the birds and the bees do it in the trees
of 53 votes, 9% like it
|
|
my shirt has been separated from its twin since birth
of 52 votes, 6% like it
|
rainbows are clown farts
of 53 votes, 9% like it
|
clowns are people too
of 52 votes, 8% like it
|
|
Save a whale ! Eat an eskimo !
of 53 votes, 6% like it
|
you ain't so Bling !
of 54 votes, 2% like it
|
so did Bam Bam ever light a flint stone ?
of 53 votes, 4% like it
|
|
global warming means less yellow snow
of 55 votes, 11% like it
|
yes that is a pickle in my pants
of 54 votes, 7% like it
|
Save time : take off your watch before jumping off that bridge
of 54 votes, 7% like it
|
|
Master of Big Thighs
of 54 votes, 6% like it
|
I am my better half.
of 52 votes, 13% like it
|
raccoons do it blind-folded
of 52 votes, 8% like it
|
|
End Garbage Theft ! Eat a Racoon !
of 52 votes, 6% like it
|
lame !
of 52 votes, 4% like it
|
It's been too long. A tumbleweed just rolled out of my pants.
of 52 votes, 6% like it
|
|
This isn't my face. I didn't put it on today.
of 53 votes, 8% like it
|
can I chew your gum ?
of 53 votes, 9% like it
|
a redhead is a blonde with her hair on fire
of 55 votes, 9% like it
|
|
bullies grow up to be terrorists
of 54 votes, 9% like it
|
extra crispy
of 52 votes, 8% like it
|
I'm not old enough to be a sir.
of 53 votes, 4% like it
|
|
I'm not old enough to be a maam.
of 54 votes, 7% like it
|
I'm an undertaker. Can you dig it ?
of 52 votes, 8% like it
|
I smile at you with discontent
of 53 votes, 8% like it
|
|
ninjas do it in secret
of 54 votes, 9% like it
|
i <3 monkeys
of 52 votes, 6% like it
|
future ninja
of 53 votes, 9% like it
|
|
let's get nakey !
of 54 votes, 6% like it
|
if I were a fly on the wall, I wouldn't understand you anyway
of 54 votes, 7% like it
|
porcupines do it from a distance
of 55 votes, 11% like it
|
|
every teacher is an old schooler
of 55 votes, 11% like it
|
toilet paper is one of my favorite things
of 54 votes, 9% like it
|
rode hard and put up wet
of 54 votes, 7% like it
|
|
Blonde On Board
of 54 votes, 4% like it
|
you have the right to remain.....
of 54 votes, 7% like it
|
my head is bigger than yours
of 53 votes, 8% like it
|
|
after every wedding another gigolo feels a pain in his groin
of 53 votes, 6% like it
|
does an amoeba have a butt ?
of 54 votes, 11% like it
|
beets are nature's biggest mistake
of 54 votes, 13% like it
|
|
cabbage : the rebel lettuce
of 55 votes, 18% like it
|
myspace or yours ?
of 53 votes, 13% like it
|
camels are fire engines for the desert
of 54 votes, 17% like it
|
|
emu not emo
of 52 votes, 6% like it
|
Blonde Inside
of 53 votes, 2% like it
|
gnomes do it in small spaces
of 53 votes, 8% like it
|
|
My latest discovery.....the world DOES revolve around me !
of 52 votes, 4% like it
|
want to go puddle-jumping ?
of 53 votes, 9% like it
|
I saw logs at night. I make logs during the day.
of 54 votes, 7% like it
|
|
Don't hate me. I'm just a bottle-blonde.
of 52 votes, 2% like it
|
my best friend is chocolate
of 53 votes, 8% like it
|
how many horny chicks does it take to screw a lightbulb....
of 55 votes, 4% like it
|
|
Bargain Hunter : one who looks for a cheap hooker
of 55 votes, 2% like it
|
and now for my next trick.....
of 55 votes, 5% like it
|
I've had my name legally changed to Honey-do....
of 54 votes, 4% like it
|
|
it wasn't me......
of 56 votes, 9% like it
|
my baby's daddy is a robot
of 55 votes, 4% like it
|
my baby's daddy is a ninja
of 55 votes, 5% like it
|
|
ninja wannabe
of 55 votes, 4% like it
|
ok, but you'll have to wear a paper bag over your head
of 55 votes, 5% like it
|
The Devil made me do it. I owed him a favor.
of 54 votes, 7% like it
|
|
I was an old-school gamer. I played PONG.
of 54 votes, 7% like it
|
Get Krunked !
of 54 votes, 4% like it
|
Stomp out Harmony ! Bitch at your co-workers !
of 54 votes, 4% like it
|
|
you know you liked it
of 54 votes, 6% like it
|
CAUTION : workers at rest
of 54 votes, 4% like it
|
Darn it ! We'll have to get more batteries.
of 54 votes, 6% like it
|
|
Are your shorts riding up too ?
of 54 votes, 4% like it
|
Save Gas ! end nascar
of 52 votes, 12% like it
|
Robots are just vacuum cleaners with arms.
of 53 votes, 6% like it
|
|
my robot will kick your robot's ass !
of 53 votes, 6% like it
|
my Robot is bigger than your Robot
of 53 votes, 4% like it
|
Check out my new robot ! I call it a vacuum.
of 54 votes, 4% like it
|
|
s'mores are uber-delicious !
of 54 votes, 4% like it
|
Keep it up and your face will be on the back of a milk carton !
of 56 votes, 2% like it
|
Go ahead ! Run with scissors !
of 52 votes, 10% like it
|
|
friends don't let friends drive mopeds
of 54 votes, 6% like it
|
that already was your last chance
of 52 votes, 2% like it
|
Help firefighters keep their jobs: become a pyromaniac
of 56 votes, 5% like it
|
|
old people are like story buffets
of 55 votes, 9% like it
|
clowns are everyone's evil twins
of 53 votes, 2% like it
|
when Hell freezes over, the Devil will need a coat
of 55 votes, 4% like it
|
|
PMS: possibly murdered someone
of 54 votes, 7% like it
|
If I'm too tired to think straight, does that make me gay ?
of 55 votes, 13% like it
|
my farts smell like roses
of 56 votes, 2% like it
|
|
I love children.....medium-rare.
of 56 votes, 7% like it
|
my monkey ate my homework
of 56 votes, 4% like it
|
Make some hot wings ! set your chickens on fire
of 56 votes, 5% like it
|
|
cupcakes should be a main food group
of 57 votes, 9% like it
|
apparently foreplay is only for newlyweds....
of 57 votes, 4% like it
|
calculus is not my friend
of 56 votes, 7% like it
|
|
your Gramma was better
of 56 votes, 2% like it
|
Save Water : drink more beer
of 54 votes, 4% like it
|
SAVE MONEY ! mooch off your friends
of 58 votes, 3% like it
|
|
You better be hungry ! I just made you a knuckle sandwich !
of 58 votes, 5% like it
|
today's traffic report says it's a blue-haired, white-knuckle day
of 57 votes, 4% like it
|
old people are not slow, they are driving-challenged
of 57 votes, 2% like it
|
|
Mormon: an American with a harem.
of 59 votes, 2% like it
|
Darth Vader vs. Ralph Nader, who would win ?
of 59 votes, 10% like it
|
Zombies are Necrophiliacs
of 58 votes, 3% like it
|
|
What is your Major Malfunction !?!
of 58 votes, 3% like it
|
Bologna = turkey butts and pig snouts
of 58 votes, 2% like it
|
a sharpei is really just an old midget
of 60 votes, 5% like it
|
|
My Hobbit will kick your Gnome's ass !
of 60 votes, 7% like it
|
You are Disrupting my Creative Juices !
of 59 votes, 3% like it
|
i'm voting you off !
of 59 votes, 5% like it
|
|
just give me tongue, don't give me uvula !
of 59 votes, 3% like it
|
banana peels : condoms for monkeys
of 57 votes, 9% like it
|
i feel lower than whale chips
of 58 votes, 2% like it
|
|
I'm a member of the C.A.A. : cellphone addicts anonymous
of 58 votes, 3% like it
|
Dinosaur : the first white meat
of 59 votes, 10% like it
|
if a leprechaun mugs you, kick him in his lucky charms
of 57 votes, 7% like it
|
|
too many cooks in the kitchen will make leftovers
of 57 votes, 4% like it
|
you Dorkus McGorkus !
of 60 votes, 3% like it
|
you spelled stupid wrong, STUPID !
of 59 votes, 2% like it
|
|
I don't like Flies, cuz Flies eat Poo, and I don't like Poo
of 59 votes, 7% like it
|
bargain bucks : deer that die from 1 shot
of 61 votes, 7% like it
|
mad props : crazy people's stage furniture
of 64 votes, 6% like it
|
|
If shoe size really means anything, Big Foot would rock my world
of 64 votes, 6% like it
|
Humans Taste Like Chicken
of 64 votes, 3% like it
|
Son of a Monkey's Butt !
of 65 votes, 5% like it
|
|
What did you eat under there ?
of 64 votes, 3% like it
|
