Just trying to find my way out.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
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Living my life to the half fullest.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
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What I lack in content, I make up for in presentation.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
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Porn fed beef.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
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One of these sentences is a lie. No it's not.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
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I'm not famous yet.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
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Shake hands with beef.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
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Think like a dandelion.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
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I hug like Zangief.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
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I've never won an argument with myself.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
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I reply instantly.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
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How about some cop porn?
of 32 votes, 9% like it
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So this baby seal walks into a club…
of 14 votes, 36% like it
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Who said Riverdance? I'm in.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
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I zcan typ 1,000 wordzx a minut.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
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Instant feedback.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
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Contains 24.8% alcohol.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
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Clean underwearer.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
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At least I feel rich.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
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Don't let me catch you with my lazy eye.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
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I learned to dance at the Kremlin.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
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Fresh out of compliments.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
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Damn it – my queue is full.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
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Chew the skinny. Get the fat.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
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Turn the hose this way.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
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I admire everyone I make fun of.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
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I hate waking up, and I have to do it day after day.
of 14 votes, 36% like it
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I hate all ninjas.
of 13 votes, 38% like it
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Ask me why I love you.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
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SPVELLCHECK
of 18 votes, 33% like it
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Chinese milk scam survivor.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
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Almost a billionaire.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
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I like you better from behind.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
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Male noodle frontity.
of 17 votes, 41% like it
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Private party inside.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
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That's perfect! Hold it right there!
of 14 votes, 36% like it
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I dream of insomnia.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
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I'm surrounded by negative space.
of 32 votes, 28% like it
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May I borrow one of your electrons?
of 32 votes, 13% like it
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You're in the way of my vanishing point.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
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Neutrinos rarely interact with me.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
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Until robots can draw, I'll do it myself.
of 32 votes, 28% like it
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Up Up, Down Down, Left Right, Left Right, B A, B A, Select Start.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
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My pancreas feels great.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
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My inferior lobe is superior to yours.
of 32 votes, 31% like it
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Uh oh, my wave function just collapsed.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
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I'm 1% human, 99% chimpanzee.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
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You're hurting my rods and cones.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
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Solids are just a phase.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
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I'm torn between space and time.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
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I'm afrayed of String theory.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
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I'm not so sure about the Uncertainty principle.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
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Sorry I didn't catch your name. I was too busy ignoring you.
of 32 votes, 22% like it
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I know I am but what am I?
of 32 votes, 19% like it
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Subway snoozer.
of 32 votes, 9% like it
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I've been saved, as a JPG.
of 32 votes, 22% like it
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Click only once.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
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Yes, I don't agree with your legal terms.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
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Feel confident. Save time. Reduce stress. Quit yoga.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
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I was trying not to use passive voice.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
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Member of the Cult of Pythagoras
of 32 votes, 13% like it
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Orthogenesis? Wasn't Phil Collins in that band?
of 32 votes, 16% like it
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I was once a zygote.
of 32 votes, 22% like it
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I'm only on my first draft.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
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You just stole one of my electrons.
of 32 votes, 22% like it
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I think I just swallowed an electron.
of 32 votes, 34% like it
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I'm much thinner at the speed of light.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
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Not even close to retirement.
of 32 votes, 22% like it
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The speed of light is c, period.
of 33 votes, 12% like it
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Some fats are good.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
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I forgot my user name.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
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Email this to a friend.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
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My kombucha baby can beat up your kombucha baby.
of 60 votes, 5% like it
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The inconceivable universe quaffs the subjugated plumber.
of 60 votes, 13% like it
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See you in Helvetica.
of 60 votes, 18% like it
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