The Greatest Country Song in the World by SuperRyan


I got up at the crack of dawn
Went to the closet got my undies on
Went down the stairs
and out the door

I hopped in my Chevy pick-up truck
Didn't really give a fuck
And drove all the way
Up to the store

Fast forward 2 hours
at the police station
I swear she said she was 18
I didn't know she was 15

They said "Tell us the story
Or you'll 25 to life"
So I told 'em what went down
At the store

Truth is I had sex with that minor
I wiped it out and put it inside her
She said she was of age of consent
So I continued to pound that pink tent

Now I'm sittin' in here all alone
Except for my cellmate who's got a huge bone
He wants to rape me, put it in deeper
I wish I never had sex with that shopkeeper