Profile for mrdavenport - ... But a Bitch Ain't One

mrdavenport aka Zack Davenport is a 22.97 year old boy, has been a member since December 14, 2005, has scored 11,125 submissions, giving an average score of 2.02, helping 314 designs get printed.

URL: http://www.mrdvnprt.com
AIM: mrdavnport

May 19 '10 by mrdavenport
72 Comments
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... But a Bitch Ain't One

I had an idea for a design today, based on the good ole tune "99 Problems".

Unfortunately it requires me to think of 99 different problems so I thought I'd ask for some help.

Stuff like:

Math Problem
Struck by Lightning
Flash Flood
Free Ballin'
No Tivo
Stubbed Toe
...

etc.

Of course, leave out anything to do with "bitches", because as we know "a bitch ain't one".

I would love your help on this! Be creative! Cheers!

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Hildy 42 on May 19 '10 at 7:30pm

wedgie

Ryder Revolution on May 19 '10 at 7:31pm

bear attacks

Ryder Revolution on May 19 '10 at 7:31pm

car crash

Ryder Revolution on May 19 '10 at 7:31pm

bear crash

Chipmnk on May 19 '10 at 7:32pm

Wet socks, flat tire, uhhhh, I don't know.

Ryder Revolution on May 19 '10 at 7:32pm

Alec Baldwin's Neck

Cochon on May 19 '10 at 7:35pm

you could just go the Kid Cudi angle : "I got 99 problems, and they all bitches"

that way you'd just have to get out your highschool yearbook.

Ryder Revolution on May 19 '10 at 7:36pm

sushi

books

shoe laces that fall on a public bathroom's floor

jodabaum on May 19 '10 at 7:36pm

no more toilet paper

soloyo on May 19 '10 at 7:37pm

no money

SJ27 on May 19 '10 at 7:41pm

Gum stuck to your shoe.

SJ27 on May 19 '10 at 7:43pm

Forgot to bring an umbrella.

SJ27 on May 19 '10 at 7:43pm

Constipated.

Cochon on May 19 '10 at 7:44pm

diarrhea

SuperRyan on May 19 '10 at 7:44pm

stepped in dog doodoo
parachute failure
driving a Toyota

SJ27 on May 19 '10 at 7:45pm

You thought you had condoms but they're out of date because it's been so long and it's 3am and you're already back at her place and she lives miles from a 7-11 and you already spent $50 on cab fare.

SJ27 on May 19 '10 at 7:46pm

Someone who thought you were cool finds embarrassing music on your iPod.

SJ27 on May 19 '10 at 7:47pm

You can never ever submit your Dark Side of the Garden product photo.

SJ27 on May 19 '10 at 7:47pm

And you're $1.50 short in your Paypal to buy a really great tee and it's selling out really fast so you really need the STP!

SJ27 on May 19 '10 at 7:48pm

All they have is "non-dairy creamer."

SJ27 on May 19 '10 at 7:48pm

Lactose intolerance.

SJ27 on May 19 '10 at 7:49pm

The movie on the plane stars Chevy Chase.

SJ27 on May 19 '10 at 7:49pm

Ate a kebab.

SuperRyan on May 19 '10 at 7:50pm

SJ27 on May 19 '10 at 7:45pm
You thought you had condoms but they're out of date because it's been so long and it's 3am and you're already back at her place and she lives miles from a 7-11 and you already spent $50 on cab fare.

It's called pulling out...

...of that situation because you shouldn't have unprotected sex.

SJ27 on May 19 '10 at 7:53pm

Unwanted pregnancy.

SJ27 on May 19 '10 at 7:53pm

Asymptomatic chlamydia.

Cochon on May 19 '10 at 7:55pm

runny nose

mike bautista on May 19 '10 at 7:57pm

When you fix yourself a bowl of cereal but realize that either you don't have milk or the milk is spoiled. Fuck I hate that!

Or like when a family member dies.

mrdavenport on May 19 '10 at 8:14pm

hahaha those are creative! Thanks! Keep em coming!

mrdavenport on May 20 '10 at 1:11am

i know you guys have more problems!

what about being mistaken for your mom

againstbound on May 20 '10 at 1:23am

Having your penis cut off and thrown out the window of a moving car.

SJ27 on May 20 '10 at 9:44am

When you drop a pencil and the whole lead shatters, so when you go to write with it, you break it, so you sharpen it and it just breaks off again and again and again.

jamesf on May 20 '10 at 9:53am

having to decide whether you should watch the golden child or krull when they're both on the telly at the same time

jamesf on May 20 '10 at 9:55am

also, this�

a bit of fry and jay z from defyingdarwin on Vimeo.

it makes me laugh

littlem on May 20 '10 at 9:56am

why is freeballin a problem? haven't you ever played with click-clacks?

SJ27 on May 20 '10 at 10:01am

Sharted.

SuperRyan on May 20 '10 at 10:01am

that reminds me of a disturbing experience in gym class I once had

SuperRyan on May 20 '10 at 10:01am

*not the shart part, the freeballin part

SJ27 on May 20 '10 at 10:01am

Missed the bus.

Ryder Revolution on May 20 '10 at 10:02am

super aids

SJ27 on May 20 '10 at 10:02am

Forgot your gym gear.

(Excellent excuse to get out of gym class. Much easier to pull off than "I have my period.")

westsidekathielee on May 20 '10 at 10:05am

acne/pimples

rent

medical bills

SJ27 on May 20 '10 at 10:06am

Put a stray coloured in with your whites.

SJ27 on May 20 '10 at 10:07am

I meant in the washing machine. Damn that looks racist.

SJ27 on May 20 '10 at 10:07am

Make easily misinterpreted comment.

squintygirl on May 20 '10 at 10:08am

bad b.o.

SJ27 on May 20 '10 at 10:09am

Wear ugg boots outside the house.

littlem on May 20 '10 at 10:09am

is there anything as good b.o, squinty?

SJ27 on May 20 '10 at 10:12am

Forget to put the bins out. Possibly resulting in being awoken the next morning by the garbage truck and chasing it down the street in your underpants.

SJ27 on May 20 '10 at 10:15am

Computer virus.

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