Come support me and my band in our quest to win a quarter of a million dollars in Live 88.5's Big Money Shot competition, Round 3. October 24th at the Live Lounge down in the byward market.

We have a webpage in progress! Go us!

You can listen to a few songs on our myspace!

Or find us on facebook!

I'm whoring our band because I'm excited! (And also a whore!)

If just one person cares, I'll feel validated. Somebody care, dammit.

This was one of the first slogans I ever bothered to submit. I wish I could say that the content chimes close to my choice of lifestyle but, to be honest, I've always related to this slogan more as a product of its style rather than its meaning. I do, after all, leave my computer running 24/7, and the hypocrisy of wasting all that energy is far from lost on me. Irony tastes delicious.

I just want to thank all the members that selflessly plugged this particular slogan of mine all over the blog forum until it was finally printed. I like to think that Threadless eventually chose to print it because of all your support (but then I guess who really knows if they ever even noticed).

And a year and a half later...

The new revamped design looks beautiful. Thanks to all who wanted a reprint and finally got it!

I'm buying some prints and I need to buy them now before they run out. First person to post three consecutive, coherent, distinct messages in this blog wins.

Pay attention to the "coherent" adjective. They better have real words and make sense.

Go.

Apparently a sale's coming.

If this is true, I may be purchasing goods and/or services. Preferably goods. Solve the following riddle and get my next set of points (which may or may not be this week, fyi).

[riddle removed]

Also good luck to people who think they can google the answer out of this, since I just made it up.

I haven't gotten a set of STPs in like a year and a half. This is the only reason I'm making a blog about it despite my profile warning.

Come on, who's my magic money knight?

(The term "knight" is not gender exclusive. Women can be knights, too, as long as their boobs are tiny. You know how suits of armor can be.)

I hope that most people who own or want this shirt aspire to play videogames as a hobby for their entire lives, like those creepy 60-year-old gamers you see from time to time. That's who I strive to be one day...except with a slightly higher frequency of bathing and social interaction. There are precious few more respectable goals in life.

I just want to thank everybody for this printing and reprinting. Everybody in the entire world. Because I can.

Besides, who doesn't like being thanked?

Exactly.

It's been a while since I've posted anything here and I'm being uber-lazy today (as well as every other day) so let's throw out any potential originality and just revisit the classic. By the way, I'm probably buying some shirts within the next week, but I might not. So the winner definitely will get my next set of STPs, I just can't guarantee when that'll be. If you don't like the idea of mystery-date STPs then you're just being a silly goose.

This is how the game works:

The person to get the 100th comment (bottom of 2nd page) becomes the first wildcard. To win this game, you have to post something directly after the wildcard's next post. Not after their 100th comment post, their next post. The wildcard can win the game themselves if their next two posts are back-to-back.

If the wildcard doesn't post anything at all for the next 100 comments, and so nobody can win yet, and maybe the wildcard died from a heart attack at his/her computer upon being declared so very wild...the person with the 200th comment becomes the new wildcard and we keep going like this every 100 comments until someone wins.

All posts have to be unique and made of real words. No spamming, no string of random letters, no single-letter comments, etc. Don't be a dink. If the winning person's post is a bunch of crap or a spammed duplicate post, we ignore it and keep going.

You probably want to stop reading now, which is good, because I want to stop writing.

Brad the Game

This is the most expansive, elaborate and hilarious "choose your own adventure" game I've ever played. You may have played it yourself as I did many years ago. In that case, if your memory is decent, you can snag some quick STPs.

You get scores when you "win" or die. I know what the highest score attainable is and I know how to get it. The first person to get that score gets the STPs, and all you have to do is post the score and link to the page in the game where that score is displayed.

Now, I'll be making my purchase soon before A Dark Night sells out. If no one has found the Premium Path (TM) by the time I have to make my purchase, the person with the highest posted score will get them. So even if you don't think you've found the best possible path, post your score and link to the page anyway, and you might still win (assuming you've skimmed through the blog and know the score you just got is currently the highest, otherwise there's no point in posting it).

If you don't have a link, you don't get credit for the points.

Now go. Help Brad. Win STPs.

However, I did not think this through.

So in the meantime, let's concern ourselves with the externalization of the senses and its subsequent effect on man's psychological composite.

Or...beans.







There are definitely too many types of beans.

It's time to embrace the geeky ingenuity that exists in the world. Hug your inner social turd. This shit is hilarious.





Post more if you've got 'em.

And if you don't have any, have a seat and some Cadbury Mini Eggs, because they are like little drops of chocolate sex.