Arrogantly twisting the sterile canvas snoot of a fully charged icing anointment utensil, he puts forth a quarter-ounce green rosette near the summit of a dense but radiant muffin of his own design!

Shirts I own:
Well, this just really sucks
Biblical Disaster
Predicament
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We are made of Carbon
Vikings are just Swedish pirates
Sasquatch redux peace out
Russell! How's yer Ma!
Bunnies
Damn Scientists
You sank my battleship
Rocketbird (for mum)
She Doesn't Even Realise (for mum)
Camouflage (for mum)

Shirts I want:
THIS is how the world ends
There, They're, Their
=rand() [enter] (not in yellow, please!)
Of the dead
Dark side of the garden
November 12 Month Club (thanks, jwalsh!)