I'm an ice-cream socialist.
of 10 votes, 20% like it
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Forget trees, I climb clouds.
of 10 votes, 30% like it
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Well, time to grab your coat and get gravity."
of 11 votes, 0% like it
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My symptoms indicate either love or internal bleeding.
of 52 votes, 25% like it
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Did you think this would be something cryptic like "Mayonais
of 52 votes, 4% like it
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I bet bears only poop in campgrounds, out of spite.
of 52 votes, 15% like it
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Before me you rightly tremble.
of 52 votes, 10% like it
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The hard part about being crazy is the Thursday tomato democracy.
of 52 votes, 23% like it
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Prisoner Number Six Double -Five Three Two One
of 56 votes, 11% like it
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Prisoner # 655321
of 56 votes, 16% like it
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Look ye upon the font of despair.
of 50 votes, 16% like it
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This feeling is either love or internal bleeding.
of 47 votes, 21% like it
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The Bare Naked Ladies concert was not what I was hoping for.
of 47 votes, 15% like it
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Fire Bad. Tree Pretty.
of 48 votes, 6% like it
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Tree Bad. Fire Pretty.
of 47 votes, 6% like it
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There are two types of people in this world: bad people and liars
of 47 votes, 11% like it
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Where the Wild Things were.
of 47 votes, 13% like it
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I live where the Wild Things used to be.
of 51 votes, 35% like it
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Only the very wise can see this shirt.
of 51 votes, 10% like it
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Ce n'est pas une personne
of 51 votes, 16% like it
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Don't feel bad, Pluto. I'm not a planet either.
of 52 votes, 37% like it
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Judging by how I feel it's either love or internal bleeding.
of 51 votes, 35% like it
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One of the words in this sentence is spelled wrong.
of 51 votes, 31% like it
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Why thank you, this is a clever shirt.
of 51 votes, 20% like it
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Please compliment my human. It is insecure.
of 51 votes, 20% like it
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Life is like a watermelon: seedless and fleshy.
of 54 votes, 9% like it
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If you were Omnipresent you'd be home by now.
of 55 votes, 18% like it
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Turtles are like snakes in boxes
of 42 votes, 40% like it
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Charlie Hauser once yelled at a kid and made him cry blood
of 34 votes, 21% like it
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Charlie Hauser once screamed at a puppy sitting in a boot
of 34 votes, 9% like it
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Charlie Hauser once spit on a woman and gave her septuplets.
of 34 votes, 24% like it
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Charlie Hauser once hit my grandma in the face with his grandma.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
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Violence is nev... sometim... oft... Violence is the answer.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
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When I die I want to be defenestrated.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
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5 out of 5 people are statistics.
of 34 votes, 24% like it
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Behold my fashion sense and despair!
of 34 votes, 15% like it
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Oh, and I suppose YOU'RE wildly successful?
of 34 votes, 15% like it
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Right now I'm on plan E.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
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Sometimes the rabble just NEEDS to be roused.
of 34 votes, 15% like it
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Do parrots ask each other for crackers?
of 34 votes, 24% like it
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The best part of waking up is the light inside the trunk.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
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Life is like Chess. The King is in charge but the Queen rocks!
of 36 votes, 14% like it
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Speshul Teams
of 34 votes, 12% like it
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It's okay that you don't get this.
of 35 votes, 23% like it
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I'm too good to be elitist.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
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Non-sequiturs don't.
of 34 votes, 3% like it
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I'd like the low-fat Lard, please.
of 34 votes, 6% like it
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The only thing I can't resist is temptation.
of 34 votes, 6% like it
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No good can come of this.
of 34 votes, 6% like it
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What the slut?
of 35 votes, 11% like it
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I'll bury you three feet deep, like a midget.
of 35 votes, 11% like it
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Sanctuary! Sanctuary!
of 34 votes, 15% like it
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4 out of 5 Communists prefer MaoMix
of 34 votes, 29% like it
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AD. Following your years since 1
of 45 votes, 18% like it
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Ginormous.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
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OMGWTFBBQCHICKEN!
of 37 votes, 27% like it
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I'd follow this baby into battle
of 34 votes, 9% like it
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Signs point to Ho.
of 37 votes, 14% like it
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You smell like beautiful.
of 33 votes, 15% like it
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Die in a Mexican jail!
of 35 votes, 23% like it
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ADD is a very serio... Ooh shiny!
of 35 votes, 37% like it
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Smurf. Papa Smurf.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
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Have you had sex with YOUR lawn gnome?
of 35 votes, 17% like it
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Oh, such Tacos will I give...
of 35 votes, 20% like it
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Methinks the lady doth protest too much
of 34 votes, 21% like it
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Hands touch everything but themselves...
of 34 votes, 18% like it
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Who did what to WHOSE dog?!
of 53 votes, 15% like it
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