Say no to webcam
boyfranz and calling off her
matrimony-y.

If she's not sure about her fiancee, she should not get married to him right now. She should also be honest to him; if she hasn't already talked to him about this other man, she should. He deserves to know, and the two of them can make a decision about it together. He is committing his life to her, so she owes it to him to be honest about something this big.

be really, really careful. something isn't right, sounds like both relationships are in a danger zone.

How long has she been talking to him? How does she know him? Is he a friend of a friend or did they start talking through some sort of e-community?

But from what you've just said, I would tell her to call off her wedding and a put some distance between her and the e-guy. It sounds as if she needs to time on her own to figure out exactly what and who she wants.

Any guy that would offer that after only meeting over the internet has screws loose. She should back away.

Also, a girl who would get herself in a situation like this while engaged can't be entirely trustworthy, either, so maybe a wedding isn't the best thing for her.

Oh, and I totally agree with Deanna. She needs to tell her fiancee about this other guy.

yeah, honest to guy she has in the hand. Online cheating is still cheating and all that.

Do not marry fiance.

do not marry web cam.

totally agree with Khol and professorE and Deanna....

proffesorE keeps filling my tummy with wisdom and life lessons

I smell something not quite right. This guy seems like trying to lure her. I have already received their wedding card and now she told me that she is in love with another man.

Is this e-guy just an excuse because she's not sure about the fiancé?

maybe subconsciously she's thinking she's not ready for marriage, so she's using this canadian fellow to get out of it...
also, how does she know she loves him if she's never even met him in person?

Um, I met my ex on a BBS (no ugliness there, just drifted apart), and my current husband on eBay. Sometimes it clicks.

I also met a psycho killer on a BBS and a CIA psyops operative on an online community. Sometimes it's dangerous.

She needs to break the engagement. She does not need to say why, just that she needs to take some time to figure out what she really wants to do with her life.

It may be that she will want to return to her original plan; she shouldn't burn that bridge just yet. If he's still there when she's ready again, that's a good sign; if not, she has to be ready to move on herself.

She needs to investigate this other guy before she decides to meet him...and if she decides to go ahead and meet him, he should come to her, not the other way around. If he can afford to bring her and her mom to Canada, he can afford a week in Malaysia.

She also needs to consider what she will do with herself in Canada if she ends up getting stranded there. Will she be there legally? Will she be able to support herself? Will she be able to return to her previous life?

Sticky wicket, that. Best of luck to her.

I only met the guy once when I went back to Malaysia for holiday. A nice decent guy. I thought it is an odd though because my friend is quite Chinese in terms of the her values, lifestyle and the appreciation. Her man cant even speak Cantonese or understand Cantonese well. She communicates with him in English, and half of the time she explains the jokes we share. She loves a good belly laugh in her own language and half of the time I feel that her man feeling left out as he cant blend in. So I speak to them in both Cantonese and English

she needs to postpone the wedding, indefinitely.

she needs to figure out what she wants and why.

If you are in a long term relationship,you sometimes get a little fling for someone else. Perhaps when the relationship is in a vulnerable state, or you are in different places in life. That does not mean you have to break up with your partner. Because flings will often pass, and you will find out you were not in love, you was just having a flirt, needing that attention and in love with the idea of having other alternative paths in life.

I say dont rush it, but find out what this guy is offering that she is missing in her relationship. Talk to the man to be, find out if this is meant to be. Its a huge differens in beeing in love for life, and having a crush online... thats just a realityflight I think, and perhaps all this is is a typical before-marriage-crises that will pass... but if you are not in love, you should not marry :)

People rush too quickly into marriage, if she's even (seriously) contemplating running off to another country to be with someone else, then I would say that her relationship with her fiance isn't as steady and as stable as it probably should be in entering matrimony.



But then again, none of my relationships hae lasted and I've never been engaged. What would I know

She has to tell her fiance about the e-guy. The worst thing that will happen is he calls off the wedding which doesn't matter because she shouldn't marry the guy if she's e-cheating. Telling her fiance is best becuase at least they can work out what they want together.

invite the canadian guy to the wedding and document it to later turn it into a romantic comedy film by summer

Vannjenta has this right.

Tell her not to ditch the man totally, until she's worked out, honestly, why she's flirting with some guy on the internet.

I summarised all the advices you guys gave me and emailed to her. I heard nothing from her since. I guess she is expecting to hear different story from me.