Check it out

for me to move to America, particularly around California, and find a job in a bar there?

Just askin'.

Right?

Recommend them please.

And it feels good

I've received about 10 sets recently and don't know who any are from. Own up and there might be a nice return of favour in it for you.

My girlfriend is amazing. Today she brought me this amazing advent calendar she'd made. Each of those dangling ribbons is numbered and has a gift tied to the end! Those black things are socks - it wouldn't be Christmas without socks right? But... there's another present inside each sock!

There's no ribbon for the 25th - on this day I get to unwrap a BIG present she also brought. So I don't have to wait until Christmas for present opening fun - I get one to open every day until then!

So far:

1 = A red wooden cylindrical block, about 2" in height and 3/4" in diameter. I'm told its mystery will be revealed as I open more presents.

2 = Cadbury's Dairy Milk. My favourite chocolate, brought over from her recent trip to London.

Weird stuff

I love food. I wish I'd been a chef. I consider myself relatively open-minded when it comes to food - I'll try most things and it is my ambition to taste every kind of meat - even the forbidden meat.

I don't like eating meat that still has eyes, and I won't eat shrimps and prawns that are still whole - partly because they look like insects (I'd never eat insects), and partly because I hate food that is a chore to prepare - all that deshelling, and head-ripping - that's the chef's job! I don't even like eating meat off the bone purely because I'd rather just shovel the stuff into my mouth rather than have the extra effort of separating meat from bone.

Most of the stuff on that page I'd eat. Live shrimp - not in a million years. Live anything for that matter.

I know I ordered 4 or 5, but I can't remember which ones. Which is nice because it means it'll be like receiving a surprise gift. From myself.

I consider myself extremely unfit and not as flexible as I was a few years ago.

I've never been big on exercising - I used to do a few pushups every so often and lift hand weights from time to time, but then when my back got fucked I couldn't and since recovering haven't bothered starting again.

I used to be able to lift my left leg almost over my head whilst standing on my right, but now can't get anywhere near that.

I can't even touch my toes, and can only get down to about 4 inches above the floor.

Most of this is down to my surgery I guess, but I could still be a lot fitter. Thing is I can't be arsed with exercise - I spend around 5 hours a day on average on my feet, walking around and the last thing I want to do first thing in the morning or last thing at night is exercise.

I most definitely drink too much, and probably eat too much bad stuff and not enough good stuff, but I don't particularly enjoy fruit or salad.

I did quit smoking a couple of months ago though.

I've put on about 30lbs in the last 2 years, and although I'm far from fat, I look like I drank from the wrong holy grail - all a bit melty. 210lbs for 6'3ish of height isn't bad, but if this continues I'll soon be a proper chubs.

What can a lazy, overworked alcoholic like me, with no willpower do to raise my general fitness levels, without completely altering my lifestyle?