I dropped a table on my little toe. It's not as painful as it looks.

You've probably all seen this but watch it again anyway:

I was just saying to my friends back home that I hope it doesn't snow here and they thought I was crazy because they love snow.

I agree that it looks pretty in photographs and when lying undisturbed, or on fields and woods etc, but in a city it's grim and ugly. When a few people have walked across it it becomes brown and treacherous and the roads are like some kind of ice cold swamp.

Who's with me?

Nothing too bad - just a dull ache and uncomfortable feeling in my back teeth when I clench them together. Anyone experienced anything like this before. It's annoying more than anything.

Tell me them.

I'm terrible at remembering jokes, but here's a few:

- What do Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common?
- Icy dead people

- Did you hear about the chicken dating agency? It failed because they couldn't make hens meet.

- What do you call an epileptic lettuce?
- Seizure salad

- A man is driving along the motorway at speed and is pulled over by the police. The policeman asks the man to step out of the car and in doing so notices a collection of lethal looking knives on the back seat. "Can you explain these sir?" he asks. "Um, yeah. I'm a professional juggler," the man replies. "Nice try," continues the cop. "No, really! I can prove it," he says, taking up the knives and proceeding to perform an elaborate juggling display at the side of the road. At this point another motorist passes, sees the guy and the cop and exclaims, "That's it! I'm never drinking again! I'd never pass that test!"

I discovered this whilst researching a new sub:

In the last 50 years the average working vocabulary of a 15 year old has decreased from 25,000 words to just 10,000 words.

Fact.

It's 1am now. I just worked from 5pm and have to get up at 9 tomorrow and open up and work all day alone. As is always the case, I'm too wired to sleep right now. But...

... I just discovered that clocks go back an hour tonight meaning I get one more hour in bed!

This is good.

Here

Alexander Tucker Saddest Summer
Bill Callahan Night
The Cave Singers Elephant Clouds
Dirty Projectors & David Byrne Knotty Pine
Errors National Prism
Fleet Foxes White Winter Hymnal
Great Lake Swimmers When It Flows
Hüsker Dü Flexible Flyer
Interpol Untitled
James Yorkston Woozy With Cider
Karl Blau Before Telling Dragons
Laura Marling Night Terror
My Latest Novel All In All In All Is All
Nick Drake At The Chime Of A City Clock
Okkervil River Lost Coastlines
Parts & Labor Mount Misery
Quicksand Freezing Process
Rocket From The Crypt Young Livers
Sigur Rós Gobbledigook
The Temper Trap Sweet Disposition
Ugly Casanova Parasites
Volcano, I'm Still Excited!! Two Exclamation Points (!!)
When In Rome The Promise
Xploding Plastix Behind The Eightball
Yeasayer Tightrope
Zongamin J. Shivers Theme

Sure there are loads of pie chart type things going around, and I don't dig them that much but a lot of people do. Should I bother with this?

I was cleaning out my hard drive and came across a bunch of face swap photoshops I did a few years back. Beasts such as this:



I decided to do one with me and my girlfriend:



I think this proves we should never have children together.