• Why are pizza boxes square when the pizza is round?

• Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

• Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

• Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?

• If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests?

• Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

• Why is it you get a penny for your thoughts, but have to put in your two cents worth?

• If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

• Why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car?

• Why do grocery stores buy so many checkout line registers if they
only keep 3 or 4 open?

• Why is the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star the same
tune?

• Why do they call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere but
call it a hemorrhoid when its in your ass?

• Did Adam and Eve have navels?

• How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?

• How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?

• How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?

• If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?

• If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to
the pan?

• If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

• If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

• If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

• If soap is used to make you clean, why does it leave a scum?

• If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

• If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to
buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

• If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia can you read correctly?

• Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?

• What do sheep count when they can't sleep?

• What is another word for "thesaurus"?

• What is the speed of dark?

• What's another word for synonym?

• When you're sending someone styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

• Where are Preparations A through G?

• Who invented accents?

• Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

• Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

• Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

• Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?

• Why aren't there bullet-proof pants?

• Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

• Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

• If your feet smell and your nose runs, are you built upside down?

• Why do people who only eat natural foods drink decaffeinated coffee?

• Why do they report power outages on TV?

• Why do they sell a pound cake that only weighs 12 ounces?

• Why do 'tug'boats push their barges?

• Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?

• Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?

• Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

• Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?

• Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person
who drives a race car not called a racist?

• Why is a women's prison called a penal colony?

• Why is it called a bust, when it stops right before the part it is
named after?

• Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?

• Why is it called 'after dark', when it is really after light?

• Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a
shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

• Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you
turn down the volume on the radio?

• Why is it when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open it's not adoor?

• Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?

• Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

• Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?

• Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?

• Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?

• Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?

• Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

• Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

• Would a fly without wings be called a walk?