Threadless T-Shirts - Profile for Salty Rubberbands - How many times can YOU fail a Driver's test?

Salty Rubberbands aka Nicole Hamilton is a 18.37 year old girl, has been a member since July 21, 2005, has scored 336 submissions, giving an average score of 3.90.

May 18 '07 by Salty Rubberbands

36 Comments

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How many times can YOU fail a Driver's test?

I failed that damn Driver's Test again.

Looks like today's failed Driver's test makes number four for me.

sigh.

I really am starting to hate my own freaking guts. I feel ridiculously retarded and slow over it. What kills me every time? That hell spawned abomination known as "parallel parking".

I mean, what the poop? Fail the whole darn test because I can't park in a space that I'll probably never park in my entire life? The only area that has a decent amount of parallel parking spots is downtown- the city. I'm not going to college anywhere near the city, or #$@ parallel parking.

The test doesn't even measure your "driving smarts" or true driving skills. Which is why the test should be so trivial- so freaking easy!

Why I can't pass the damn thing is what puzzles the muscle tissue out of me. I just can't feaking do it. Every time, I get about 3 inches off of the white line we're suposed to be inside of. And when I try to adjust myself, I really fuck up. I was close to crying this time I tried to re-adjust myself.

It really depresses me. I can't just brush it off because I keep freaking failing.

The funny thing is, I've practiced damn parallel parking so much you wouldn't feaking believe it.

Even worse- we practiced 4 hours yesterday ON THE ACTUAL COURSE after the MVA closed.

In total, I can't even count how many times I've freaking practiced Parallel parking.

The whole ordeal is really really, really, really making feel like total scum right now. I can't take failing this damn test on the same fucking thing every single time. It's too much.

All I can think of are all the little perfect freaks who got it right on their first time. Why can't I be smart like that? I've heard so many methods for Parallel Parking and tried them billions of times. I've practiced them and they each worked perfectly. But then when I take the test, they don't work.

It's sucking the life outta me. I am at about 92% miserableness right now.

I've got one more week to get the damn thing right. If I don't, I have to take the written permit test to get my permit renewed. Shit.

Why can't I freaking do it right? I'm a good driver too- I can be..

..Why can't I do anything right? Argh..

..at least my dad was okay about it. He was mad when he saw that I failed, but he saw I was really sad about it and sort of left me alone. So we went to the movies, ate pizza, got ice cream; so I feel a lot better about it all.

And I finally got to see Spiderman 3.

xiv on May 18 '07 at 8:16pm

if you failed you drivers test that many times, you should ever be allowed to drive.

Cactus Pirate Jr. on May 18 '07 at 8:16pm

Bus.

iDanSimpson on May 18 '07 at 8:16pm

Ste7en on May 18 '07 at 8:18pm

I didnt even have to finish parallel parking, because the guy knew I had lined the car up right and angled the wheel right he told me to just go ahead and drive back because I was done.

You'll get it. Cars arent that super anyway.

SheepMan22 on May 18 '07 at 8:18pm

yea you should never be allowed to drive ever

icebar on May 18 '07 at 8:20pm

i'm supposedly smart but i failed mine the 1st time i took it.
don't be so critical of yourself; it's probably not your testing style and you'll pass it sometime very soon. you'll see.

icebar on May 18 '07 at 8:21pm

^and there i was talking about my driver's ed test..

Ste7en on May 18 '07 at 8:22pm

You really shouldnt take the test again until you master parallel parking, don't rely on getting lucky...I don't want that kind of driver on the road.

Spinachlegs on May 18 '07 at 8:24pm

For my driving test, i took my instructor to go get a bucket of chicken and that was it...i paid for his chicken and he gave me a license.

Salty Rubberbands on May 18 '07 at 8:30pm

Did I ever say I relied on "Getting Lucky"? I told you, I practice and get it right so many times then. I think the source of my failure is being a bit nervous, even though I tell myself I'm not nervous.

It sucks.

SheepMan22 on May 18 '07 at 8:31pm

just dont get a license im 22 i have been driving sense i was 15 i never even took the test once

Cactus Pirate Jr. on May 18 '07 at 8:31pm

Haha spinchlegs, that's awesome.

Also kind of questionable.

peater on May 18 '07 at 8:32pm

you don't have a license, sheep?

SheepMan22 on May 18 '07 at 8:32pm

nope

Cactus Pirate Jr. on May 18 '07 at 8:33pm

er...spinachlegs*

kayceislost on May 18 '07 at 8:33pm

I was so mad because I am fucking ace at parallel parking and they didnt even include it on my driving test.

Salty Rubberbands on May 18 '07 at 8:34pm

And I want to laugh at the oh so repetative "Don't Drive Ever" comments, but I'm real serious about this whole thing. I'm a really good driver on the road. I do tune out at times, but everyone does that. I'm not a lousy driver, It's just me and the test. I want people to be safe on the road, you know? I'm not some horrible drunken Paris-Hilton of a driver, I just can't Parallel Park.

That's all.

Salty Rubberbands on May 18 '07 at 8:36pm

HOLY SHEET KAYCEISLOST. Can I switch Vehicle Associations with you?

Like, freaking now?

xiv on May 18 '07 at 8:36pm

in fl, the parallel parking is replaced with a 3-point turn

kayceislost on May 18 '07 at 8:37pm

here too, eric.

my driving test took less than 5 minutes. i basically drove around the block and back.

The Wee Straggler on May 18 '07 at 8:42pm

The parallel parking section is so the instructor has a concrete reason to not let sucky drivers pass. "You can't parallel park" is a lot harder to argue with than "You are a terrible driver".

Do your part for the environment, use public transit.

BrewHaHa on May 18 '07 at 8:55pm

In my state/metropolitian area, parallel parking is not partof the test despite a flourishing urban centre, and 3 "major" cities surrounding our own city.

Fancy that.

However, I failed my first driver's test because:

We were at the coast preparing to sale my grandparent's estate (yeah, they died). So, why not make some light of it and try and get my license while we're down here. So I bring my birth certificate and something that has my permanent address to the local DMV. The guy looks at the paperwork I brought and says, "Hmph, says here, yall folk ain't from round here."

"Yeah, Greensboro..."

"Yeah...ok, let's get this over with."

So, not the greatest thing to hear from the test giver. We get in the car and I put it in reverse and he immediantly freaks out. "WHAT THE HELL? WHERe'S YOUR HORN HONK?? HONK YOUR HORN WHEN GOING IN REVERSE SON."

Oh my god, the guy was insane, clearly. I gave the horn a tap and went about the rest of the road test with no problems.

"OK, well, I'm not going to pass you, try again in a week."

Asshole.

Daffy_501 on May 18 '07 at 8:59pm

I hope I wrote it down correctly. Writing is different than doing.

So ya all I had to do to pass was take my drivers ed teacher to his gf's place so they could do it. I got an A. Whoo HOO!!

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Cecil B Demented on May 18 '07 at 8:59pm

3 point turn... i did mine incorrectly..

Daffy_501 on May 18 '07 at 9:00pm

ahhh is that what it's called? i never knew

Cecil B Demented on May 18 '07 at 9:02pm

lolll yeah.. its bs,

Answerthatandstayfashionable on May 18 '07 at 9:03pm

I don't think it's really that hard. I don't know because I'm 13, but my sister did it and passes the first time.

Daffy_501 on May 18 '07 at 9:03pm

gawd i remember being downtown during christmas week and trying to parallel park.

I was like4 feet from the sidewalk and blocking traffic. I kept on reversing and going forward making the same stupid mistakes. I was so embarrased

Daffy_501 on May 18 '07 at 9:04pm

thats cuz your sister is kewl

Salty Rubberbands on May 18 '07 at 9:07pm

Holy hell. Insane. Wow, that really makes me want to punch someone's teeth out. I HATE really whiny instructors like that.

My Driver's Ed Teach was the definition of whine. When he freaked out, his voice got all high pitched and squeaky.

"Heey heey, HEEE*voice crack*EEEY! Why didn't you check your blind spot!? You HAA*squeak*AAVE to be VERY careful!"

Yeah, the first place I took the test is infamous for actually trying to get you to fail.

rudra on May 19 '07 at 2:28am

you people get driver's ed?

ours was axed the year before i would've had it (early 90's) - never reinstated

we had to pay for our driver's training - the guy i got was a weirdo - "let's go to the drive-thru" "do you have errands to run?" "do you want to go here, do this?" "oh it's posted 30, but everyone goes 40 in here" and apparently i "drive like a european"

i was like "i just want my hours"

is there any way you can go over a jurisdiction to get your license?

i know people in SF who went outside the city to not have to test on the hills

and my local DMV had one male and one female tester:

the man... every guy i know passed the test the first time with 100% no matter how bad a driver they were, every girl i know who got him failed their first test (sometimes several tests)

the woman... was fair, some people passed some failed (no sex bias)

i got the guy...
i did pass on my first test - by ONE point (he must have miscalculated somewhere)

he did run through "what i did wrong"
- he said when i first pulled out from the DMV (still in the lot) that i didn't turn and look (the person who took me to the test was there - she said that i did look, and the tester wasn't even looking up at the time - actually, every time i glanced over his nose was three inches from the clipboard in his lap)
- he also said i ran a light - i was making a right hand turn, and the light turned yellow as i was turning

i didn't have to parallel park - must've been a 3-point turn, but i don't remember

radiostaticstar on May 19 '07 at 2:52am

i had driver's ed in high school and loved it sooo much,
no lie, my teacher's name was rex easley, it was as if he were born to teach that class. if you drove with him he'd teach you the important procedures like mastering the art of the drive thru and how the seek function on the radio is your friend. we had the crazy simulators from the 1960's, it was like one of those kiddie rides outside the grocery store, it had a big tractor seat and there were gas and a brake pedals, a switch for signals and a go cart steering wheel. you could only do ten of us at a time, for about 15 minutes and we'd sit on these dumb things in the dark with a film strip on the screen in front of us. if we didn't react to what appeared before us little lights would go off on the front of our cars. i can't say for certain i ever learned anything from the simulators, but they were a riot. i never had to do a three point turn, but parallel was the last part of the test. i passed on the first try, but to be fair, parallel was the first thing i ever learned to do...

NatySpaghetti on May 19 '07 at 2:56am

hehe that sound like fun radio :D

timadd on May 19 '07 at 3:05am

To all the people who say, "take the bus", I say, no. Knowing how to drive doesn't mean you neccessarily will drive.

I think it's important to have the ability to drive, say when you are in any sort of situation - you're the least drunk and you have to get your friends home, your grandma broke her foot and now you have to drive her somewhere, both your parents are sick and they need you to go buy food so you don't starve, etc. etc. etc.

When I'm 16 I plan to go get my L and learn how to drive, but that doesn't mean I'm also going to go get a car or drive a lot.

tinahyena on May 19 '07 at 3:06am

maybe you should try going to a different place. i didn't have to do a parrallel park. they just had me pull up to a sidewalk and back up straight.my test took a total of 15 minutes and my uncle thought i failed when i got back. the guy who went before me failed cuz he missed the stop sign in the parking lot at the end of the test. my friends brothers ex girlfriend made a left turn on a red light cuz she thought you can treat it the same that you would for a right turn on a red light. my other friends friend tried to u turn during a test and had to do a 5 point turn.

tinahyena on May 19 '07 at 3:08am

my friends sister is 25 and doesn't have her license yet. her sister in law is 31 and doesn't have her license yet either...they are too scared to try and bum rides from everyone in there family which is really inconvenient and can get really annoying.

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