Ninjas are allowed to talk about Fight Club.
of 41 votes, 49% like it
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Make awkward sexual advances, not war.
of 42 votes, 52% like it
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Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
of 41 votes, 54% like it
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The worst time for a heart attack is during a game of charades.
of 41 votes, 51% like it
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Just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean that I
of 42 votes, 50% like it
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Now introducing... POWDERED WATER! Just add water.
of 41 votes, 41% like it
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If I ever saw an amputee being hung I would just yell out letters
of 58 votes, 40% like it
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Sometimes I wonder why frisbees get bigger, and then it hits me.
of 61 votes, 56% like it
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Fat kids win at see-saw
of 59 votes, 44% like it
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Mr. T's Stunt Double
of 58 votes, 28% like it
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Go Team Redundancy Team Team!
of 59 votes, 36% like it
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Go Go Gadget Shirt
of 59 votes, 36% like it
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HOLY SHIRT!
of 62 votes, 37% like it
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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
of 71 votes, 37% like it
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Cold pizza: The breakfast of champions.
of 71 votes, 44% like it
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Sometimes I wish I could shoot turtle shells out of my car.
of 63 votes, 49% like it
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Practice safe lunch, use a condiment
of 62 votes, 40% like it
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I have a dreamsicle.
of 62 votes, 29% like it
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If looks could really kill, then my profession would be staring.
of 60 votes, 35% like it
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Logic has no place here...
of 62 votes, 37% like it
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Drop Bush, not bombs.
of 63 votes, 32% like it
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You just wasted 5 seconds of your life reading this.
of 62 votes, 37% like it
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Tacos: The food of the gods.
of 61 votes, 36% like it
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This fat is just a protective coating for my rock hard abs.
of 63 votes, 40% like it
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Emo grass cuts itself.
of 63 votes, 46% like it
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Bad recipe: Place pork in sun. Wait seven days. Eat.
of 61 votes, 31% like it
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Rebel sheep say moo.
of 61 votes, 38% like it
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