Only poopy ones.

Why did the dog lick his...ummm... private parts?



Because he CAN!!!

BAM!

oh, skipper, that was not meant for your eyes!

^ BECAUSE HE CANINE! Hahah...



..

two atoms are leaving the library. the first atom turns to the second atom and says "OH SHIT! i lost an electron!" and the second atom says "are you sure?" and the first atom says "i'm positive!"



BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA. i am so dumb.

you can't protect him forever littlem! hey skip, wanna go out back and have some smokes..i hear they're badass

funkie. oh funkie. what have you done?

I saw Funkie fresh stealing a pack of gum at Zellers!

um..that wasn't me...it was the one armed man!

What are you if your dad's a lesbian and your mom's a hooker?



A GYM TEACHER!

Hey, she's somebody else's problem, not mine. Unless Daddy adopted without consenting me first.

^ Gym teachers suck.



Funkie fresh, can't fool me. I live at Zellers.

Maybe.



Here is a joke:



Q: How many keys does my keyboard own?





A: NONE! He never leaves the house!

drats! foiled again...i forgot you live at Zellers..



what?! am i adopted what?!

I dunno are you? do I have to get another collar and leash?

oh and a joke...



why can't a bike stand on its own?



because its TWO TIRED!

^ Ah, that's one of my favorites! :)

Q. what's worse than finding a maggot in your apple?



A. Rape.



sorry had to share.

Bwahahaaaaa.

Critics charge that signs of impropriety at the Wonka factory—many alluding to sexual acts and substance abuse—are littered throughout the gritty documentary. Detractors set forth the following lines, gleaned from a transcript of the film, as being particularly incriminating:







Bill (candy store owner): "Hey, take it easy. You'll get a stomachache if you swallow it like that."



Mr. Turkentine (Charlie’s teacher): "Come and give me a hand."



Grandma Josephine: "I did the end pieces with the little tassels."



Charlie: "Here, everybody have a bite."



Willy Wonka: "I'm so glad you could come."



Mr. Salt: "Is this a trick or something, Wonka?"



Willy Wonka: "What an adorable little boy you have."



Willy Wonka: "And as soon as your outer vestments are in hand, we'll begin."



Mrs. Teevee: "Somebody's touching me."



Charlie: "Quick, Augustus, grab this!"



Grandpa Joe: "Oh, looks good enough to eat."



Wonka: "Suck 'em and you can spit in seven different colors."



Mr. Salt: "Nuts."



Mr. Salt: "Hang on, darling! Just close your eyes and hang on tight!"



Mr. Salt: "Shouldn't you be wearing rubber gloves?"



Wonka: "You can suck 'em and suck 'em and suck 'em, and they'll never get any smaller."



Grandpa Joe: "We're really high now!"



Violet Beauregarde: "It's hot and creamy. I can actually feel it running down my throat!"



Wonka: "Oh, well, I'll get it right in the end."



Veruca Salt: "I want a ball."



Veruca Salt: "Give it to me."



Willy Wonka: "Well, fortunately small boys are springy and elastic."



Mr. Salt: "Hold on! Veruca, sweetheart, Daddy's coming!"



Mike: "It's getting in my eye!"



Mrs. Teevee: "I'm soaked—it'll never come out!"



Charlie: "Let's do it again, Mr. Wonka."



Mrs. Teevee: "Oh, my dress, my hair, my face! I'm sending you the cleaning bill, Mr. Wonka!"



Wonka: "Here it comes. There it is. Take it."



Wonka: "Taste it—it's delicious. It's just gotten smaller, that's all."



Mrs. Teevee: "Mike, get away from that thing!"



Wonka: "Well, fortunately small boys are extremely springy and elastic."