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Evilpinkie
Evilpinkie aka Cara is a 24.6 year old girl, has been a member since June 13, 2005, has scored 4,551 submissions, giving an average score of 2.31, helping 48 designs get printed.
I love corny/punny jokes. Know any good ones?

gerpander
gerpander on Aug 20 '05 at 12:35pm
Only poopy ones.
littlem
littlem on Aug 20 '05 at 12:35pm
Why did the dog lick his...ummm... private parts?



Because he CAN!!!
Skipper6745
   Skipper6745 on Aug 20 '05 at 12:40pm
BAM!
littlem
littlem on Aug 20 '05 at 12:40pm
oh, skipper, that was not meant for your eyes!
MoniqueH
MoniqueH on Aug 20 '05 at 12:42pm
^ BECAUSE HE CANINE! Hahah...



..
slender fungus
slender fungus on Aug 20 '05 at 12:42pm
two atoms are leaving the library. the first atom turns to the second atom and says "OH SHIT! i lost an electron!" and the second atom says "are you sure?" and the first atom says "i'm positive!"



BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA. i am so dumb.
funkie fresh
   funkie fresh on Aug 20 '05 at 12:42pm
you can't protect him forever littlem! hey skip, wanna go out back and have some smokes..i hear they're badass
littlem
littlem on Aug 20 '05 at 12:43pm
funkie. oh funkie. what have you done?
MoniqueH
MoniqueH on Aug 20 '05 at 12:45pm
I saw Funkie fresh stealing a pack of gum at Zellers!
funkie fresh
   funkie fresh on Aug 20 '05 at 12:46pm
um..that wasn't me...it was the one armed man!
blucow
blucow on Aug 20 '05 at 12:47pm
What are you if your dad's a lesbian and your mom's a hooker?



A GYM TEACHER!
littlem
littlem on Aug 20 '05 at 12:47pm
Hey, she's somebody else's problem, not mine. Unless Daddy adopted without consenting me first.
MoniqueH
MoniqueH on Aug 20 '05 at 12:48pm
^ Gym teachers suck.



Funkie fresh, can't fool me. I live at Zellers.
MoniqueH
MoniqueH on Aug 20 '05 at 12:50pm
Maybe.



Here is a joke:



Q: How many keys does my keyboard own?





A: NONE! He never leaves the house!
funkie fresh
   funkie fresh on Aug 20 '05 at 12:55pm
drats! foiled again...i forgot you live at Zellers..



what?! am i adopted what?!
littlem
littlem on Aug 20 '05 at 12:57pm
I dunno are you? do I have to get another collar and leash?
funkie fresh
   funkie fresh on Aug 20 '05 at 12:57pm
oh and a joke...



why can't a bike stand on its own?



because its TWO TIRED!
Evilpinkie
Evilpinkie on Aug 20 '05 at 1:45pm
^ Ah, that's one of my favorites! :)
34 days later
phones
phones on Sep 24 '05 at 12:18pm
Q. what's worse than finding a maggot in your apple?



A. Rape.



sorry had to share.
Leslee
Leslee on Sep 24 '05 at 12:20pm
Bwahahaaaaa.
xiv
   xiv on Sep 24 '05 at 12:30pm
Critics charge that signs of impropriety at the Wonka factory—many alluding to sexual acts and substance abuse—are littered throughout the gritty documentary. Detractors set forth the following lines, gleaned from a transcript of the film, as being particularly incriminating:







Bill (candy store owner): "Hey, take it easy. You'll get a stomachache if you swallow it like that."



Mr. Turkentine (Charlie’s teacher): "Come and give me a hand."



Grandma Josephine: "I did the end pieces with the little tassels."



Charlie: "Here, everybody have a bite."



Willy Wonka: "I'm so glad you could come."



Mr. Salt: "Is this a trick or something, Wonka?"



Willy Wonka: "What an adorable little boy you have."



Willy Wonka: "And as soon as your outer vestments are in hand, we'll begin."



Mrs. Teevee: "Somebody's touching me."



Charlie: "Quick, Augustus, grab this!"



Grandpa Joe: "Oh, looks good enough to eat."



Wonka: "Suck 'em and you can spit in seven different colors."



Mr. Salt: "Nuts."



Mr. Salt: "Hang on, darling! Just close your eyes and hang on tight!"



Mr. Salt: "Shouldn't you be wearing rubber gloves?"



Wonka: "You can suck 'em and suck 'em and suck 'em, and they'll never get any smaller."



Grandpa Joe: "We're really high now!"



Violet Beauregarde: "It's hot and creamy. I can actually feel it running down my throat!"



Wonka: "Oh, well, I'll get it right in the end."



Veruca Salt: "I want a ball."



Veruca Salt: "Give it to me."



Willy Wonka: "Well, fortunately small boys are springy and elastic."



Mr. Salt: "Hold on! Veruca, sweetheart, Daddy's coming!"



Mike: "It's getting in my eye!"



Mrs. Teevee: "I'm soaked—it'll never come out!"



Charlie: "Let's do it again, Mr. Wonka."



Mrs. Teevee: "Oh, my dress, my hair, my face! I'm sending you the cleaning bill, Mr. Wonka!"



Wonka: "Here it comes. There it is. Take it."



Wonka: "Taste it—it's delicious. It's just gotten smaller, that's all."



Mrs. Teevee: "Mike, get away from that thing!"



Wonka: "Well, fortunately small boys are extremely springy and elastic."
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