Profile for maddingo - so.. erm.. yeah..my wife has cancer... UPDATE ..Genetics testing results back...GOOD NEWS

maddingo aka b is a boy, has been a member since May 22, 2005, has scored 2,438 submissions, giving an average score of 1.92, helping 61 designs get printed.

Jan 10 '12 by maddingo
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so.. erm.. yeah..my wife has cancer... UPDATE ..Genetics testing results back...GOOD NEWS

so... anyone lend a hand here.. cause i'm deep in the weeds over here.

yeah anyways today has been to put it mildly a rather steamy pile of ****

mrs dingo had some test after (well.. i guess I found it..) a lump was found in her breast...so the results came back and she has cancer.

I am doing my level best to remain calm (well actually after i found out i "rearranged" some of our furniture. ..yes by that I mean i knocked some stuff over and threw a couple things ... no my anger management skillz may not be the best evar.

months and months of treatment lay ahead... we are over a thousand miles away from most of our friends and all of our family..so (and don't misunderstand I'll do what i got to do) but pretty much EVERYTHING from a support standpoint falls directly on me.... and i'm freaked out by this.. also (and this is just fucking awesome) mrs dingo doesn't drive.. I tried to get her to get a lic when we moved to socal..but she wouldn't do it..so the treatment which will be 20~ish miles away 5 god damn days a week ..i guess i will have to drive her to.. so i will have to take mad time off from work also.

but that isn't really what is important... i am terrified ..you know.. supposedly they say it was caught quite early and teh dr. types are pretty optimistic.. but u know that isn't entirely helping right now.. I don't know if i have ever felt so helpless to fix something in my whole life.

this just sucks so much ass that i can't really even begin to wrap my head around it right now.

so..yeah.. what teh fuck do i do now?

UPDATE 2/3/12

YAY... so the Doctor called today .. he has very encouraging news.. preliminary tests indicate it hadn't spread and that margins are good for the tumor removal.. so looks very good for treatment options.. this is the first time in a while that i feel pretty dang good.. there is more to test and a ways to go..but what good news today at least.

UPDATE 3/5/2012

SON OF A BITCH.... So after waiting and waiting ..they now say they think mrs dingo needs Chemo.. fuck..

UPDATE 3/12/2012

FUCK YEAH!!! So the genetics test results are back, and there is good news on that front. The testing showed no evidence of gene mutation which is a huge relief and win. If the gene mutation(s) where present things would have been some pretty unpleasant options to consider.

The Mrs has been doing pretty well the last few days and that has been good..... The is a ways to go but the Genetics test results make it possible to sort of feel like there is some light at the end of the tunnel and all.

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Polyester Jones on Jan 10 '12 at 2:53am

I'm so sorry to hear that. But she is also so lucky to have someone like you. I've seen family and friends go through the same thing and it's always hard. Find the people who will support you (there are probably more than you think) and ask them for help when you need it, that's what they're there for.

maddingo on Jan 10 '12 at 2:58am

yeah.. i suppose there are quite a few people here that will want to help.. I would feel better if some people where obligated by blood to do so ..

thanx for the reply and all btw.

italiux on Jan 10 '12 at 3:02am

I´m so so sorry dude.
You should be thanksful that you guys caught it early.
It´s gonna be hard, but i am sure you guys will get pass that, the important thing is to stock together.

Be strong.

My Best wishes.

maddingo on Jan 10 '12 at 3:11am

thanx .. yeah.. we are going to need to reach out some.. pretty damned overwhelming right now however..

I kinda wish i still drank right about now ... cause i could really go for a ENTIRE bottle of whiskey right about now... but that would of course probably not be the best idea evar...

DaddyDom on Jan 10 '12 at 3:11am

you do everything for that woman.
you do whatever it takes to keep a bright, positive atmosphere around her.
if you are a praying man, you pray.
you try to only sweat the big stuff
you figure out how to get done what needs to get done, then you do it
and you keep on doing it for as long as it needs to get done
she is going to need you
this is what you were born for
you have "rock" in your name, boy...it's time to be one
y'all will be in my thoughts and prayers

maddingo on Jan 10 '12 at 3:13am

thanx dom.. good advice..

now where did i put that bottle of whiske.....oh wait.

taz-pie on Jan 10 '12 at 4:22am

Dude, I am so sorry. This is one of those tough situations in life where you BE WITH HER, no matter what happens. You guys can do it. You are stronger than you think. Dig deep.

olie! on Jan 10 '12 at 4:26am

That's terrible news. I'm sorry.

You must do whatever you have to do.

Thomas Orrow on Jan 10 '12 at 4:30am

Oh, that's terrible. I haven't ever replied to your blogs, so I hope you don't mind me posting. It's just good that you can be there for her.

On a partially related note, I read somebody else's blog posted by roboticoctopus sp? and their family was sick, but got better even though it didn't look great at the time.

Bramish on Jan 10 '12 at 4:34am

I posted the same thing twice earlier but for some reason it's not showing. All you can possibly do is be optimistic and supportive. My young nephew and both parents have beaten a total of five cancers between them over the last 6 years or so and the only way I got through it was by telling myself it was going to be ok and getting into the mindset that I wouldn't worry or fear the worst until that was my only option. That's not going to work for everyone obviously but it did the trick for me. Stay strong.

taz-pie on Jan 10 '12 at 4:48am

And dude, feel free to vent on the blogs. This weird little community is here for you :)

squintygirl on Jan 10 '12 at 7:03am

I'm so sorry, what terrible news. You need to be strong for her so she can fight, but you'll need support, too. It isn't easy. The blogs here actually helped me tremendously when my husband was ill. It was amazing to me how spending a bit of time debating and laughing over ultimately meaningless shit with good folks recharged me to face another difficult day.

It's hard to imagine what the days ahead will be like, but you will get through them. The old cliche about taking it one day at a time is completely true. Just do for her each day what you think is the right thing to do, regardless of what other people might say, and you'll almost always be right. When you both come out of the other side of this, you'll be stronger than ever.

Please let us know how things are going, if you can.

soloyo on Jan 10 '12 at 7:10am

Dude, that really sucks...

Nothing hurts more than seeing our love ones sick or in pain, since there is nothing we can do to take their pain away (regardless of how badly we might want to ) but you must be strong right now, she needs a shoulder to lean on.

Mountain Gnome on Jan 10 '12 at 7:18am

Man Good luck for the coming days and I wish you strength to fight this ...

Cancer CAN be beaten!

Mountain Gnome on Jan 10 '12 at 7:22am

also relevant

nathanwpyle at gmail.com on Jan 10 '12 at 7:23am

So so sorry to hear this. Do keep us updated, as much as you feel comfortable doing. And to echo everyone else, it does sound like you are doing all you can.

As you continue to support her, counseling/support groups might be of some help. You're in my thoughts and prayers today man.

Tonteau on Jan 10 '12 at 7:23am

So sorry, man. Breast cancer is one of the most treatable kinds, especially if caught early. My mum had it a year or two back and she's doing fine, now. There's nothing you can do in your own strength except be there for her and let her know you love her and will do whatever she needs. Getting angry isn't going to make anything better. I'll pray for you guys.

Twiggyhall on Jan 10 '12 at 10:47am

Wow, I am so sorry to hear this news. I'm sending lots of positive and healing thoughts to Mrs. Dingo and you.

Come here to vent anytime!

maddingo on Jan 10 '12 at 10:56am

thank you everybody..thanx indeed

i believe that given the state of treatments and early detection we should get through this.

I realize getting angry didn't help anything but when you get news like this knocking some shit over seemed like the thing to do... I'm over that (for now) now .. not sure I may have to knock some more stuff over at some point but doing what i can.

anyways.. pretty crappy situation.. but we will do what we got to do.

I would sort of like God to explain this to me however..I guess i would be far from alone in liking such an explanation for stuff that happens in the world.

SuperRyan on Jan 10 '12 at 10:56am

My best wishes go to you two

Chipmnk on Jan 10 '12 at 10:59am

Best wishes, man. Stay strong.

jeffreyg on Jan 10 '12 at 11:03am

This type of stuff is never easy for anyone. Keep strong for the times when she can't be. I wish you both the best and will keep you both in my thoughts.

francobolli on Jan 10 '12 at 11:04am

Savour the good and rise above the bad. Good luck, Mr & Mrs Dingo.

nikolina100 on Jan 10 '12 at 11:10am

I'm so sorry to hear this.
You are both in my thoughts.
Be strong.
xoxoxox

maddingo on Jan 10 '12 at 11:40am

if i am entirely honest (not a good time to do so) but i kinda feel like knocking some stuff over again.

I may have to join a boxing gym ... well once the massively pinched nerve in my shoulder relaxes..at the moment my left hook would be rather poor.

maddingo on Jan 11 '12 at 2:03am

so.. i think today was mostly about fatigue neither i nor mrs dingo have slept that well

unfortunately the appt with the the surgeon isn't until next Wednesday ... which kinda ticks me off.. but I'm not sure if anything can be done.. i don't it seems like too long ????

atm there is sort of a bit of drama in that she has told some people but not others..pretty soon i'm going to need a score card to keep up with who is in "knows" vs "doesn't know".. meh..

mostly i'm just really tired.

Steve The Great on Jan 11 '12 at 7:41am

really sorry to hear that, brock.

maddingo on Jan 11 '12 at 10:47am

thanx steve one day at a time.

oh **** does this mean i'm going to have to start wearing those pink ribbon pin things ..

squintygirl on Jan 11 '12 at 10:50am

I hate those pink ribbons. I appreciate that it represents something important, but I hate them all the same.

ibyes on Jan 11 '12 at 10:50am

I'm really sorry to hear that. try to stay positive.

Johnny Baboon on Jan 11 '12 at 12:11pm

i pink ribbon tattoo would be more appropriate.

stay strong, and i'll say a prayer for you guys.

Kookaberry on Jan 11 '12 at 12:48pm

Can you email me? kookaberry.sits@gmail.com

shirtflirt on Jan 11 '12 at 12:53pm

dingo, i'm really sorry to read this. however, i think i have some insight to your mental toughness so your wife is ultimately very lucky to have you with her during this time. dom's advice is beyond sound, i'd print that out and tape to your soul. it's a great guideline.

just don't forget to keep us posted. you got a support system here dude.

maddingo on Jan 11 '12 at 1:29pm

maybe a tat...that would be kinda kewl?

thanx everybody for the additional support .. we got the dr. appt pushed up to tomorrow..which makes me feel a bit better.

grrr...HMOs ...grrr =p

maddingo on Jan 11 '12 at 1:32pm

also email sent kookaberry

and

I'm doing my best shirt .. I think it is funny some of our friends have been all "you are doing so great blah blah ..." I don't know..man i'm just doing what anyone would i think..

well we will get through it .. i've told her she needs to get better cause god knows it was hard enough finding one woman that will put up with me =p

shirtflirt on Jan 11 '12 at 1:35pm

yeah, reflexively, people say things that they think they would want to hear in a situation like this. pretty unimaginable, really. just do what you think and feel is right. your compass is true.

Kookaberry on Jan 11 '12 at 1:56pm

People are going to say a lot of dumb, angering shit and it will all come 100% from a well-intended place and they just don't know any better. "I just know everything's going to be fine," is probably the worst. No, no you do NOT fucking know, but you kind of got my hopes up which in turn depresses me a little, so fuck you.

But you just have to kind of smile about it. It's not their fault that America collectively hides its head in the sand when it comes to stuff like this and no one has ever been taught how to actually deal with trauma.

pyr4lis on Jan 11 '12 at 3:45pm

So sorry to hear that! I'm sure you'll do everything you can (and more). Joining a boxing gym actually sounds like a very good idea.

I agree with the others, if you need to come and vent do so.

I have had family with what I would classify as as trauma so I can sort of feel where you're coming from. And although it wasn't cancer (and it wasn't my spouse) it's a cousin and my mom... it was and is just as scary. The worst is the not knowing. But you just do what is in your power to do and lean on friends and family when you need. A good friend can be just as valuable support as someone who is "obligated by blood" to help.

maddingo on Jan 11 '12 at 6:08pm

thanx everybody again...

well so yeah tomorow we will know more i hope (appt @ 9am fingers crossed and all)

so the upside for y'all is you can make fun of my beard if you want (to be ASSHOLES that is =p) but i was feeling pretty stressed when i got home but this little neighbor cat was waiting for me and totally cheered me up.

she is a pretty awesome cat

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maddingo on Jan 11 '12 at 6:09pm

man did that cat shed all over me however...lol..oh well that is fine.

pyr4lis on Jan 11 '12 at 6:29pm

aww! Whats a little cat fur among friends ;)
he or she looks so happy with the attention.

Twiggyhall on Jan 11 '12 at 6:36pm

^5 for the classic logo M's hat :)

maddingo on Jan 11 '12 at 7:01pm

nobody here hardly ever knows what the hat is =p

I think the socal people may think it is military cause they get out of my way more when i'm wearing it.... so that combined with liking it makes me wear it all the damn time =p

yeah she likes the attention..it is funny at first she would hiss at us..but slowly over a bit of time she now is often waiting by my driveway when i get home and runs up and rubs up on my leg and then jumps up on my lap if sit down on the the chair.

she does still have a bit of an irritating habit of biting sometimes however...oh well no biggie.

the czar on Jan 11 '12 at 8:02pm

Man I am so sorry to hear this. I went through this same situation with my wife 3 years ago. this is going to be the hardest thing you have ever had to deal with, but you need to keep it together for her sake. That being said, take care of yourself too. The stress of this can do horrible things to you, speaking from experience here. If you want some one on one, shoot me an email at Cdmixswap at gmail dot com. my best to you both.

the czar on Jan 11 '12 at 9:04pm

Also if your wife would like to talk to my wife, she is more than willing. We are east coast so it may be awkward time wise, but if your wife wants to just email us

cARtOoNer on Jan 11 '12 at 9:22pm

I read your blog post (unfortunately all the comments) but needless to say, I was moved. Mover or rather awed. Your situation is one that, unfortunately, any of us with loved ones could find ourselves in at any time, and it scares me just reading about it. I wanted to post just to give you as much support as I can, which may be nothing more than a mere blog post, but I hope that it is something and that it is meaning ful. Thankfully, I have not, and hopefully will not, gone/go through any similar scenario, other than scares that were nothing. But, I am praying for you and your wife, and I wish you all the best.

maddingo on Jan 11 '12 at 11:38pm

hi again... well again i am touched by the support coming in on this blog thanx everybody i know and those of y'all i don't so much

anyways i'm hella worn out tonight but I will email y'all tomorrow czar for sure.

I appreciate the offer by your wife and you very much I'll be in touch.

all right then thanx again everybody.

Mountain Gnome on Jan 12 '12 at 2:03am

holding thumbs for you!

trindli on Jan 12 '12 at 5:06am

Not sure what I can add what has not been said yet..

Just make sure you also think of you a little, take care of her as much as she needs, but come here and let of some steam to complain about stupid people or whatever you want to say that you don't want to say in front of others, it helps a lot..

maddingo on Jan 12 '12 at 6:44pm

sooo met the with the surgeon today... generally positive

frustrating cause nobody can say : do this and everything will be fine

long day left around 8am just got home now.

oh well on the upside everything points to the better ...if you know you are going to have cancer..but fuck... just FUCK..

very tired...

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gerpander, at 12:24am on Mar 15, 2006
I want to see my hand on your ass.

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