A spoonful of plausible deniability makes the charges go down.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
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All my heroes are 80s cartoons.
of 43 votes, 21% like it
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All my heroes were animated in the 80s.
of 7 votes, 29% like it
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Ask me about my mime skills
of 51 votes, 22% like it
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Ask me about: My Superpowers.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
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Brotherhood of Solipsists:We all agree the rest of us don't exist
of 26 votes, 19% like it
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Can't talk, busy loitering.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
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cockamamie is my middle name
of 7 votes, 14% like it
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Count von Count had OCD.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
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Crayon shaped popsicles teach kids to eat crayons.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
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Digital piracy: high seas, no fees, just moral ambiguities
of 23 votes, 22% like it
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ee cummings had a broken shift key
of 22 votes, 18% like it
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emotionally trendy
of 22 votes, 27% like it
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Exactly what did your dear Aunt Sally do that needs excusing?
of 14 votes, 29% like it
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Farm animal noises make the best ringtones.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
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Fishstick popsicles are gonna be the new corndog
of 32 votes, 22% like it
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Fishsticks? Indubitably!
of 13 votes, 23% like it
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Freelance dirigible mechanic
of 11 votes, 9% like it
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Gibberish ain't a language, it's a lifestyle
of 3 votes, 0% like it
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God broke the fourth wall on my toast
of 41 votes, 15% like it
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God is a mash-up artist.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
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Grammar is not a hobby
of 43 votes, 12% like it
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Half-hearted mad scientist: plotting your demise on my days off.
of 55 votes, 24% like it
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has anyone seen a pair of pants?
of 38 votes, 13% like it
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Heart is not an element
of 29 votes, 21% like it
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Helper monkeys are untrustworthy
of 31 votes, 23% like it
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I am 110% sure that I don't understand percentages.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
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I am friends with someone who is moderately popular.
of 27 votes, 33% like it
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I am the ______(adjective) _______ (noun) of _______ing (verb).
of 29 votes, 31% like it
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I am the emperor of me-town.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
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I devote all my extra brainpower to hovering.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
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I eat meat to avoid a persistant vegetative state
of 5 votes, 0% like it
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I enjoy puppy dogs, long walks on the beach, and sarcasm.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
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I expected the Spanish Inquisition.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
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I finished the Neverending Story.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
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I got on the wagon before the band.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
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I have friends on the internets.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
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I have high friends in places
of 6 votes, 17% like it
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I know the secret of the ooze.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
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I know you are trying to mindread me, fiend!
of 14 votes, 21% like it
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I like bartering my posessions for girl scout cookies.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
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I like taking the b's from the alphabits to make cheerios scary.
of 10 votes, 20% like it
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I literally believe I am a dragon
of 13 votes, 23% like it
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I never liked soggy waffles anyways
of 6 votes, 17% like it
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I only listen to good music.
of 10 votes, 20% like it
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I retain title on a bound collection of alternative terminology.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
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I roll with Otto von Bismarck.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
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I self-medicate with karmaceuticals.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
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i think i just ate a bug.
of 37 votes, 24% like it
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I was bitten by a radioactive spider but all I got was necrosis.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
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I was captain of my home-school football team.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
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I was exposed to gamma radiation & my only mutant power is ca
of 29 votes, 7% like it
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I wish i was more cleverer.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
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I would fight you, but I don't have my ninja shoes on right now.
of 39 votes, 26% like it
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I'd consider settling for a Reasonably-Priced Tibet
of 19 votes, 21% like it
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I'm majoring in henchmaneering
of 40 votes, 13% like it
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I'm only half pirish, so I've got nothing against ninjas.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
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I'm prepared for any spontaneous floor to lava transformations.
of 44 votes, 18% like it
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If I ever get in a duel, I'm choosing rubber chickens.
of 10 votes, 30% like it
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If Orangutan-man was a superhero, would he carry Orangutanarangs?
of 32 votes, 13% like it
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If you can read this, someone stole my tuxedo.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
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If you're born in Febtober, that means you're a Librarius.
of 9 votes, 22% like it
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It's time for a dance fight!
of 12 votes, 25% like it
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It's turtles all the way up, too.
of 29 votes, 10% like it
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Latest Trendy Indie Rock Band
of 12 votes, 8% like it
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Life needs more group dance numbers.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
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Life's more fun when you're wearing galoshes.
of 29 votes, 24% like it
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Lobotomy! No brain, no pain.
of 27 votes, 33% like it
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Look at me, I'm the distraction.
of 11 votes, 18% like it
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MacGyver would never understimate the power of cheese.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
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Manuals are for people w/ poor guessing skills and low durability
of 14 votes, 14% like it
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Maracas are the future
of 14 votes, 21% like it
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Master of Tomfoolery and Shenanigans: apprenticeships available
of 12 votes, 17% like it
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mathematicians put the hype in hypotenuse
of 38 votes, 16% like it
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Maybe Stonehenge was an giant interrupted game of dominoes
of 24 votes, 29% like it
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My alter-ego has mysterious powers.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
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My arch-nemesis is an inanimate object.
of 57 votes, 21% like it
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My grandma reads my blog
of 6 votes, 0% like it
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My other shirt is a sportscar
of 11 votes, 9% like it
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My other shirt isn't dressy either.
of 41 votes, 12% like it
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My secret identity has an alter-ego.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
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Neuroscience: Psychology for Grown-Ups
of 51 votes, 8% like it
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Never judge a pop-up book by it's cover.
of 53 votes, 19% like it
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Never trust an articulate foodstuff.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
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Never underestimate the persistance of sleaze
of 19 votes, 26% like it
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Ninjas and pirates got nothing on wizards.
of 9 votes, 22% like it
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No no no, I said I'm a mad wrapper...you know...presents.
of 8 votes, 25% like it
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Nobody I know knows any1 who knws those that know KBacons friends
of 28 votes, 4% like it
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Ovisophobics cry "sheep!"
of 6 votes, 0% like it
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Place Holder
of 19 votes, 21% like it
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Please don't approach me, i speak only foreignese.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
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Rawrrrrrr, I'm a stegosaurus!!!
of 53 votes, 17% like it
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Ready. Set. Trepanation!
of 9 votes, 0% like it
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Reliable Source
of 15 votes, 13% like it
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revolitionarys choose twice
of 54 votes, 7% like it
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Shaped food tastes better.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
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Sic Semper Gibberish
of 21 votes, 14% like it
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skyfood & landfood > seafood
of 26 votes, 15% like it
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Somebody should be writing this stuff down.
of 10 votes, 20% like it
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statisticians are trendy
of 43 votes, 14% like it
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SuperMonkeys throw Orangutangarangs in battle
of 15 votes, 20% like it
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The boy who cried "wolf" should have cried "zombie"
of 8 votes, 25% like it
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The secret of the ooze is cancer.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
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There are superheroes on my underwear.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
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Thinking thoughts about thinking and the things that think
of 51 votes, 14% like it
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Underneath it all hides my hairy nipples
of 50 votes, 8% like it
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Unmasked Luchador
of 4 votes, 0% like it
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Up for shenanigans
of 25 votes, 20% like it
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Usually I'm a snappier dresser
of 11 votes, 18% like it
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Vegetables make a leg out of you and me.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
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What if the Sugar Plum Fairy and the Tooth Fairy are in cahoots?
of 23 votes, 26% like it
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What if tomatoes AREN'T fruit?
of 10 votes, 20% like it
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When the going gets tough, hire a nerd.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
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When you're wronged, don't debate; take revenge, retaliate.
of 41 votes, 17% like it
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while you sleep i creep
of 22 votes, 14% like it
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Why aren't unicorns called narhorses?
of 8 votes, 13% like it
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Will you go out with this shirt? (Circle One): Yes No
of 23 votes, 30% like it
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Yeti-Jousting: twice as extreme as horse-based competition!
of 14 votes, 14% like it
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Yetis are people too.
of 41 votes, 22% like it
|
You are what you eat: let's euthenize the vegetarians
of 38 votes, 8% like it
|
|
You can't spell notoriety with "y not"?
of 8 votes, 13% like it
|
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