"Once you pop, you just can't stop" shouldn't be applie
of 1 votes, 100% like it
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A fish out of water would have a rough time playing Marco Polo
of 49 votes, 24% like it
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Actually, most things about the '80s sucked
of 51 votes, 25% like it
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Bert and Ernie were just really good friends.
of 52 votes, 29% like it
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Bologna: It's like meat, only not.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
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Captain's Log, Stardate 54342.1: Today Spock was such a jerk.
of 49 votes, 29% like it
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Clowns are scariest right before they eat you.
of 50 votes, 24% like it
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Dear Diary: Why is this always a one-sided conversation?
of 42 votes, 21% like it
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Drowning in a pool of ice cream would be a great way to go.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
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Eat your heart out, you masochistic cannibal.
of 51 votes, 29% like it
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Halloween is great because pants are finally optional.
of 37 votes, 22% like it
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Hormones are all the rage with teenagers.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
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I can't wait 'til I'm old so I can drive on the sidewalk
of 43 votes, 28% like it
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I don't cry. I work out.
of 38 votes, 13% like it
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I don't know trigonometry, but I do go off on a lot of tangents.
of 42 votes, 21% like it
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I don't understand your obscure movie references.
of 49 votes, 24% like it
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I don't want to be a paperboy because I'm afraid of mini tornados
of 23 votes, 13% like it
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I feel bad for illiterate people who can read minds.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
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I love you like the day is long. But only after daylight savings.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
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I may or may not be indecisive.
of 46 votes, 26% like it
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I really don't mind when hot dogs are all up in my grill.
of 61 votes, 26% like it
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I think therefore I am but what happens if I think I don't exist?
of 12 votes, 17% like it
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I want my last words to be, "Aww! You're so cute and enormous!"
of 33 votes, 15% like it
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I went to Tiffany's, and the breakfast was just alright.
of 53 votes, 28% like it
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I'm funny because I quote Will Ferrell all the time.
of 47 votes, 26% like it
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I'm going to go out on a limb and say, "Man, this tree is tall."
of 38 votes, 21% like it
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I'm not a doctor, but I do watch ER a lot.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
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I'm not a hippie. I just don't like showering.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
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I'm not skinny, I'm just sucking it in to impress you.
of 42 votes, 21% like it
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If Encyclopedia Brown can't do it, no one can.
of 49 votes, 27% like it
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If there's free food, I'm there.
of 37 votes, 24% like it
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If you lived in a garbage can, you'd be a grouch, too.
of 40 votes, 10% like it
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It's not junk in the trunk. It's stuff I'm selling on eBay.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
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It's okay to mess with Texas when it hits you up for a free drink
of 39 votes, 21% like it
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It's so hard to find a good Grand Vizier these days.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
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Jeans: One part denim, two parts napkin.
of 42 votes, 21% like it
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Just because I'm desperate doesn't mean I'm not creepy.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
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Just multiply that by two, and we'll call it even.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
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Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. School should be illegal...
of 43 votes, 19% like it
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Librarians improve circulation.
of 50 votes, 28% like it
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Mom told me to bundle up so that I wouldn't catch disco fever
of 15 votes, 7% like it
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My life is one long, awkward situation.
of 50 votes, 28% like it
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My son's first name will be "The" so he always sounds pretentious
of 21 votes, 24% like it
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Never participate in "Cover Yourself in Meat and Hug a Bear Day".
of 41 votes, 10% like it
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Old people are wrinkly because they really like hot tubs
of 43 votes, 21% like it
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On the tragic first try Frosty had two eyes made out of hot coals
of 43 votes, 16% like it
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Once you pop, you just can't stop. Unless it's acne.
of 36 votes, 8% like it
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Only you can prevent postmodernism.
of 52 votes, 29% like it
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Please keep reading this. I'm still trying to steal your wallet.
of 53 votes, 28% like it
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Pride may be your downfall, but it is a great place to find lions
of 34 votes, 24% like it
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Seriously. Just buy a map to Sesame Street already.
of 50 votes, 28% like it
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Shoot first. Flee to Mexico later.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
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Silly rabbit, you're in a modern day Greek tragedy.
of 49 votes, 24% like it
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Slang is more fun when used inappropriately. Word.
of 37 votes, 27% like it
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Sleeping in a waterbed is like surfing on a sea of Jell-O
of 38 votes, 21% like it
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Smokey the Bear died of lung cancer.
of 37 votes, 19% like it
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Steroids: the canned spinach of the new millenium
of 47 votes, 21% like it
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Stop people who read minds. Help promote intellectual illiteracy.
of 42 votes, 21% like it
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The Ghostbusters put me on hold.
of 55 votes, 20% like it
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The Middle-Aged Mutant Pacifist Turtles never really caught on.
of 51 votes, 27% like it
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The pen is mightier than the sword, if by "pen" you mea
of 45 votes, 7% like it
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Tim Horton's is just the first wave of the Canadian invasion.
of 25 votes, 8% like it
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Wait, Stimpy was a cat?!
of 10 votes, 20% like it
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Water, water everywhere, and boy, am I glad I wore flood pants.
of 36 votes, 17% like it
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Why is Superman allergic to the rocks from his own homeworld?
of 21 votes, 24% like it
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You are the fruit of your father's loins. So, enjoy lunch!
of 15 votes, 13% like it
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You flip your collar up, and I hate you.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
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You would think Robin would want a manlier sidekick name.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
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You'd think Rich Uncle Pennybags would carry higher denominations
of 27 votes, 22% like it
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