If you don't see the point, use a darker pencil.
of 20 votes, 40% like it
|
Please leave a message on someone else's phone.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
|
You say, "Hello!"
I walk away.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
|
|
Counting sheep is so 20th century. It's all about bunnies now.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
|
I was trying to concentrate, but then I saw something shiny.
of 20 votes, 40% like it
|
Life is a game we all wish had longer batteries.
of 21 votes, 43% like it
|
|
I couldn't find the element of surprise on the periodic table.
of 22 votes, 45% like it
|
Why isn't the element of surprise on the periodic table?
of 25 votes, 48% like it
|
Shadows make me feel paranoid.
of 31 votes, 45% like it
|
|
I couldn't find the right words, so I used the left ones instead.
of 21 votes, 38% like it
|
I just stare at homework until it makes sense.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
|
My punch lines always give me bruises afterwards.
of 30 votes, 57% like it
|
|
I'm sorry, I was trying not to listen to you.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
|
Short-term memory loss is all right until... who ARE you people?
of 16 votes, 63% like it
|
Don't catch an attitude without proper gloves.
of 15 votes, 33% like it
|
|
The itsy bitsy spider is all grown up now and it wants revenge.
of 29 votes, 55% like it
|
The sun brightens my day, but it's never around at night.
of 29 votes, 41% like it
|
I see things when I open my eyes.
of 36 votes, 25% like it
|
|
Running into walls is how I train my brain.
of 33 votes, 36% like it
|
Don't ask me questions and expect me to answer them too.
of 32 votes, 34% like it
|
Being random is just another way of not making any sense.
of 26 votes, 50% like it
|
|
Exclamation points cannot express the enthusiasm I have right now
of 23 votes, 39% like it
|
I'm not quitting, I'm just putting it off for a really long time.
of 34 votes, 50% like it
|
Watching senseless tv will not make learning go away.
of 38 votes, 39% like it
|
|
Alliteration acts as an amazing alternate to an acrostic.
of 46 votes, 30% like it
|
Reindeer are undercover spies for the Easter bunny.
of 29 votes, 28% like it
|
Elevators help me reach new heights.
of 39 votes, 62% like it
|
|
I reach new heights by elevator.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
|
I write letters all the time, but I never get them to make words.
of 30 votes, 47% like it
|
When I learned about rainbows, the leprechauns moved their gold.
of 33 votes, 42% like it
|
|
One man's trash shouldn't be my trash either.
of 35 votes, 31% like it
|
The ideas I think are stupid are the ones everyone likes.
of 36 votes, 42% like it
|
Fractions are always dividing us apart.
of 33 votes, 45% like it
|
|
Peanut butter and jelly weren't always so close.
of 28 votes, 39% like it
|
Butterflies have wings to get away from crazy people like you!
of 30 votes, 37% like it
|
The circle of life used to be a square.
of 29 votes, 28% like it
|
|
Riding into the sunset kinda hurts my eyes.
of 46 votes, 65% like it
|
On the second day of Christmas, everyone told me to stop singing.
of 47 votes, 70% like it
|
Don't trust eggs. They often crack under pressure.
of 32 votes, 56% like it
|
|
If the words jump off the page, it's probably not a good story.
of 36 votes, 50% like it
|
I'm not weird, just normally challenged.
of 47 votes, 68% like it
|
They say junk food can kill me, but not if I eat them first!
of 38 votes, 68% like it
|
|
It's never a good idea to propose with an onion ring.
of 42 votes, 55% like it
|
I have no problems that require medication.
of 32 votes, 41% like it
|
Charity can start anywhere but here.
of 37 votes, 41% like it
|
|
I don't need you for ANYTHING. Except money.
of 37 votes, 35% like it
|
Vampires like rainbows too!
of 45 votes, 42% like it
|
Never play hide and seek with a ghost.
of 43 votes, 47% like it
|
|
My version of hide and seek is when you hide and I watch tv.
of 47 votes, 43% like it
|
The Earth keeps spinning and it's making me dizzy.
of 48 votes, 44% like it
|
I'm going to need you to back up ten thousand feet.
of 47 votes, 47% like it
|
|
Happiness is a warm chocolate chip cookie
of 42 votes, 38% like it
|
Hold on. I need to consult with my pillow on this.
of 46 votes, 48% like it
|
I'm not hyper.
I'm not hyper.
I'm not hyper.
I'm not hyper.
of 39 votes, 49% like it
|
|
Lmnop is SO a letter in the alphabet.
of 40 votes, 55% like it
|
I could:
A. Do homework
Or
B. Stare at the wall
of 36 votes, 42% like it
|
My parents move around a lot, but I always find them!
of 46 votes, 59% like it
|
