Appearing nightly at your local strip club!
of 53 votes, 9% like it
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Ask me about my superpowers
of 53 votes, 17% like it
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Associate Executive Producer of the story of My Life
of 2 votes, 0% like it
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aww, gnuts!
of 28 votes, 0% like it
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Calories count!
of 53 votes, 9% like it
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Chocolate makes the world a sweeter place to live
of 29 votes, 7% like it
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clean living, messy hair
of 47 votes, 11% like it
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enjoy the warm tones of vintage vinyl
of 47 votes, 13% like it
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Espresso - Because you can't buy asleep, but you can buy awake.
of 13 votes, 15% like it
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Girls who wear glasses rule the world.
of 45 votes, 16% like it
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Hello, sailor...
of 59 votes, 12% like it
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I didn't start anything - that outfit started it
of 58 votes, 3% like it
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I dig kung fu flicks
of 42 votes, 7% like it
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I hate, you hate, we all hate MATH!
of 43 votes, 2% like it
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I settled Catan
of 20 votes, 10% like it
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I will impale you with my crusty baguette!
of 57 votes, 9% like it
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I'm a different breed of common
of 57 votes, 19% like it
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I'm a little deaf in one ear, you'll have to speak up
of 46 votes, 7% like it
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Is the rockin pneumonia as contageous as the boogie woogie blues?
of 53 votes, 13% like it
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Is your aim true?
of 64 votes, 3% like it
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It is only for very special occasions that I shake the rack
of 57 votes, 5% like it
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It's like when fat girls hit on you - there is no bright side.
of 58 votes, 14% like it
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It's more fun at the gay bar
of 52 votes, 21% like it
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It's not a moped, it's a scooter!
of 52 votes, 12% like it
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Look, Daddy...chocolate!
of 47 votes, 2% like it
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Martini slayer
of 45 votes, 9% like it
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mE=MC genius
of 53 votes, 17% like it
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member of the Type A team
of 42 votes, 10% like it
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Minivans are the scourge of America's highways.
of 45 votes, 0% like it
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More tambourine!
of 52 votes, 17% like it
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My favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip.
of 28 votes, 4% like it
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My grandma plays the slots
of 54 votes, 20% like it
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My mom knows how to do everything.
of 47 votes, 17% like it
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Ne me détestez pas parce que je suis américain.
of 49 votes, 18% like it
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No habeus corpus? No problem!
of 51 votes, 14% like it
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Now accepting applications for Administrative Assistant.
of 42 votes, 10% like it
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Organic: Because I'd rather eat food than eat chemicals
of 52 votes, 17% like it
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Oysters: heroes on the half shell
of 46 votes, 15% like it
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Process Server
of 26 votes, 4% like it
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Put a shirt on, this isn't summer camp
of 53 votes, 11% like it
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Rhythm is my business
of 53 votes, 8% like it
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Star witness
of 51 votes, 14% like it
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studious
of 47 votes, 11% like it
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Sushi, sashimi, and roe - oh, my!
of 42 votes, 12% like it
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Talk to my lawyer
of 45 votes, 7% like it
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That really turns my search engines
of 51 votes, 12% like it
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The joy of cooking is having someone do it for you.
of 47 votes, 13% like it
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The joy of cooking is someone doing it for you
of 0 votes, 0% like it
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The only one who should be apologizing is your hairdresser.
of 47 votes, 6% like it
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The Thinker
of 52 votes, 10% like it
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These boots are made for kicking ass
of 40 votes, 10% like it
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This is my game face
of 52 votes, 17% like it
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War means war
of 55 votes, 7% like it
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When has math gotten you out of a jam?
of 46 votes, 17% like it
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