Coffee: Drink responsibly
of 12 votes, 25% like it
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Celsius is cooler
of 22 votes, 45% like it
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"Thirsty" (the little known Eighth Dwarf)
of 21 votes, 19% like it
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more beer summits to solve more world problems
of 17 votes, 24% like it
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genetically imperfect in every way
of 24 votes, 25% like it
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save newspapers. journalists protect us from politicians.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
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karaoke? if there ain't a shower, i ain't singing
of 17 votes, 24% like it
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no use crying over spilled beer. just order another one.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
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Answers for free.
(Asking questions: $20.)
of 18 votes, 22% like it
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the tooth fairy left me for another boy
of 20 votes, 25% like it
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british accents are like foreplay
of 23 votes, 26% like it
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What would Gumby do?
of 22 votes, 23% like it
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Warning! Persecutors will be violated!
of 24 votes, 21% like it
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Princess Leia has the sexiest buns
of 29 votes, 28% like it
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setting raygun to stun
of 32 votes, 22% like it
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Covering up great tan lines
of 18 votes, 22% like it
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I workout on Wii
of 17 votes, 24% like it
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Life needs an "undo" button
of 22 votes, 23% like it
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words can hurt, choose carefully
of 25 votes, 24% like it
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just another blog in the machine
of 20 votes, 25% like it
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Teach me French
of 8 votes, 25% like it
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Bad vibrations are when you're outta batteries
of 10 votes, 30% like it
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Don't rap if you can't rhyme
of 9 votes, 33% like it
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Obama's good looking for a white guy
of 12 votes, 33% like it
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Lover of cupcakes & muffin tops
of 10 votes, 30% like it
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Never eat garlic on a first date
of 10 votes, 40% like it
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Stupidity is sooo under-rated.
of 10 votes, 40% like it
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Purgatory is for the undecideds
of 11 votes, 27% like it
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Goggles down
of 13 votes, 31% like it
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Rap is wretarded
of 14 votes, 29% like it
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You can become chapter 3 in my autobiography
of 14 votes, 50% like it
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Why don't losers "thank, God" for making them tank?
of 12 votes, 25% like it
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Trojans burst under pressure
of 14 votes, 29% like it
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Getting to the starting line is most of the battle
of 12 votes, 25% like it
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Never sell yourself short (price tag on back $1)
of 10 votes, 30% like it
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Don't take up accordian if you want to be a rock 'n roll star
of 10 votes, 30% like it
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Lies about everything
of 11 votes, 27% like it
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The grass is always greener on the side you water
of 11 votes, 27% like it
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When life gives you blue skies -- skip work
of 10 votes, 30% like it
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Calling the cops: Just saw Professor Plum in the library
of 16 votes, 31% like it
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Hop in line behind me & let's start a parade just for fun
of 13 votes, 31% like it
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Living like there's no tomorrow
of 13 votes, 38% like it
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This shirt is not an XL. It's a Venti.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
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Oxygen Addict (Thanks for not smoking.)
of 20 votes, 25% like it
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Waiting for the evolution to change me
of 15 votes, 33% like it
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Cap'n Crunch is a cereal keeler
of 15 votes, 33% like it
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Spending all my money before the sun explodes
of 19 votes, 26% like it
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Cazed & Donfused
of 21 votes, 29% like it
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Don't fall for someone, gently parachute in -- it's safer
of 27 votes, 33% like it
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Stop genocide in Africa
of 28 votes, 29% like it
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Adrenaline Addict
of 27 votes, 26% like it
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Digital photography is wiping out negativity
of 30 votes, 30% like it
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Crayon Artist
of 26 votes, 31% like it
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Don't use words when emotions will do
of 27 votes, 26% like it
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Next Governor of Alaska
of 18 votes, 39% like it
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My pet's cuter than the one on Donald Trump's head
of 21 votes, 43% like it
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There's no shade of gray with zebras
of 19 votes, 32% like it
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Live life like you stole it.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
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Try to slip $20 in my pocket without me catching you
of 13 votes, 38% like it
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Hate work. But boy that money part is addictive.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
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I'm pro nouns.
of 21 votes, 43% like it
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I don't need an editor. I are an editor.
of 17 votes, 35% like it
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Addicted to heroine:
Wonder Woman
of 21 votes, 29% like it
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Soft & chewy in the middle
of 15 votes, 33% like it
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Make mine vodka and anything
of 16 votes, 31% like it
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Life should start with training wheels
of 16 votes, 25% like it
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Why retire when I can pay for everyone else's foreclosures?
of 15 votes, 27% like it
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I never got foreclosed in Monopoly.
of 16 votes, 38% like it
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Catholic school dropout
of 17 votes, 29% like it
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Myspace is not yourspace
of 20 votes, 25% like it
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China owns my mortgage
of 17 votes, 29% like it
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I only answer to the Bat-signal
of 18 votes, 44% like it
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What happens in the Vatican stays in the Vatican
of 20 votes, 25% like it
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Let's do it anyway
of 17 votes, 29% like it
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Un-beer-ably thirsty
of 17 votes, 29% like it
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Eco-crazy: Love the birds & the bees
of 16 votes, 25% like it
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If your boyfriend doesn't mind, I don't mind.
of 17 votes, 35% like it
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