This is my design of a bread relaxing on a sauna while it gets toasted. Thank you all for the time it takes you to critique my design, I appretiate all comments.
I'm not sure I like the placement on the shirt. Although maybe if you added some steam rising up from the top it would add to the placement and the idea of a sauna?
I'd also like to see the toast with a more bread-like shape.
i agree with sneaky you could make good use of the upper part of the tee if not raise the design other wise it'll be a bit strange. but other wise i like the concept very cute.
As usual, i have to agree with fox. :P
Right now the bread just looks like.. well im not sure exactly. Try giving it a more natural color too, the white is just too white, especially if hes being toasted.
Creo que tienen razón en los comentarios.
1) bajar la manija del tostador.
2) poner un poco de vapor saliendo de la estufa.
3) algún color de los que tienes te dá para tostar un poco el pan?
I agree with what has been said. Particularly the placement of the design. I think steam coming out of the shirt could be a great addition. Also maybe adding a cord to the toaster could be a nice touch
Hehe, I like the expression. I would remove the second towel rack and make the bread larger - he is the star of the show after all! I agree with the others. Raise the placement or add steam,although with the little sweat drops I expect soggy bread, not toast. ;)
Like everyone else said- higher placement, some steam from the toaster, and lowering the switch would really help you out. However, the towel is sort of floating because it's not wrapping around the bar.
Such a cute idea! With some of the adjustments mentioned above, such as adding dark marks on the bread so it looks toasted and lowering the toaster lever, etc... It will be great!
Hi, this is V2 of my design, I have worked on some of the critiques you gave me, that include de placement, the steam, the towel error, lowered the leaver and the toast color. I have also added some whater to the sauna heater, heating wires like in a toaster that generates the heat and changed the leaver design.
Please let me know your opinion on these changes, I would love to know your opinion to see if I am moving on the right track.
Thanks for the comments on the lumberjacks! Really great concept! I think the toast could be bigger and still be impactful. How about toast tattoos? Great work!
I agree scale it down a little bit and move it higher on the shirt again. I also think it would be nice to see a cord coming out of the toaster. You are heading in the right direction great work.
wonderful concept. While the image inside the toaster is awesome. The toaster is not blending well with it. I also feel that the perspective of the toaster is a bit off. And i agree with most of the comments above. as far as the toaster is concerned. None the less it is an awesome design.
Could you score this and leave a comment as what you feel about the design?
Really good and funny. I would suggest changing the smoke/steam coming out of the toaster and adding some shadows, for example a shadow of the toast into the bench, from the bench into the ground etc, but not too much, you should still keep it simple.
Great idea, very funny haha. I dont like the placement so much, I think the smoke lines are taking to much space and the drawing should be little more up
Hi, thank you all for you comments, they have been very helpful. Based on that, I have made new changes to hopefully improve my design. I have added a base to the toaster, made the bread bigger, made the toaster smaller and raised the placement. Also and probably the main change is that I have changed the steam coming out of the toaster for a steam cloud that surrounds the toaster to better blend the design with the T. Please let me know what you think of these changes.
I can't think of much to change, it looks really good. Maybe the dots on the toast could be the same colour as the bench so they look more like sesames (not sure if they are white or not, it's hard to tell?)
Mmmm i'm not sure about that cloud. i would try to make the steam came only from upside but different as it was before. The full cloud makes no sense with all the design
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txz6
This is my design of a bread relaxing on a sauna while it gets toasted. Thank you all for the time it takes you to critique my design, I appretiate all comments.
sneaky fox
I'm not sure I like the placement on the shirt. Although maybe if you added some steam rising up from the top it would add to the placement and the idea of a sauna?
I'd also like to see the toast with a more bread-like shape.
~~~~ if you have a sec, gimme a vote! ~~~~
boxless
i agree with sneaky you could make good use of the upper part of the tee if not raise the design other wise it'll be a bit strange. but other wise i like the concept very cute.
and if you have a second to spare: Stripes and Stars
txz6
Thanks for your comments. Now That you say it, it makes sense that the design should be at chest level. Any other suggestions?
Winck
Beautiful design. But it should be more on top.
If you have time: http://www.threadless.com/critique/100589/Juggler http://www.threadless.com/critique/100631/Baby_Saturn http://www.threadless.com/critique/100802/Stop_Pollution
pplasticbunnie
As usual, i have to agree with fox. :P Right now the bread just looks like.. well im not sure exactly. Try giving it a more natural color too, the white is just too white, especially if hes being toasted.
Last day in the running! Vote if you get a chance guys. Thanks
pplasticbunnie
also, move the toaster switch lower. in the position its at now, it seems like it wouldnt be on
RICARDO DESIDERIO
Creo que tienen razón en los comentarios. 1) bajar la manija del tostador. 2) poner un poco de vapor saliendo de la estufa. 3) algún color de los que tienes te dá para tostar un poco el pan?
RICARDO DESIDERIO
también creo que convendrÃa subir todo el diseño un poco en la playera
bscott01
I agree with what has been said. Particularly the placement of the design. I think steam coming out of the shirt could be a great addition. Also maybe adding a cord to the toaster could be a nice touch
If you get a chance let me know what you think of my design. Thanks
Also if you have time I'd love to have you vote on my design
morayven
Hehe, I like the expression. I would remove the second towel rack and make the bread larger - he is the star of the show after all! I agree with the others. Raise the placement or add steam,although with the little sweat drops I expect soggy bread, not toast. ;)
I too have a critique up if you care to comment – thank you.
ryanoxerous
Like everyone else said- higher placement, some steam from the toaster, and lowering the switch would really help you out. However, the towel is sort of floating because it's not wrapping around the bar.
Please score my submission when you can- thanks! http://www.threadless.com/submission/408325/Holmes_Family_Crest
ashleyb12
I agree with adding steam, and you should also make the bread a little bit darker because it is being toasted.
gloriousgorn
Such a cute idea! With some of the adjustments mentioned above, such as adding dark marks on the bread so it looks toasted and lowering the toaster lever, etc... It will be great!
viograpiks
this is nice.. i think you should add more sweat and im not about the placement.. it's a lil bit awkward placement for me..
If you have time, please critique my design Sound Bulb
txz6
Hi, this is V2 of my design, I have worked on some of the critiques you gave me, that include de placement, the steam, the towel error, lowered the leaver and the toast color. I have also added some whater to the sauna heater, heating wires like in a toaster that generates the heat and changed the leaver design.
Please let me know your opinion on these changes, I would love to know your opinion to see if I am moving on the right track.
Thank you all for your time and honest comments.
Vaaaampire
love it. submit
zerbatosamuel
hi, i looks really cool now, however, I would change the colour of the toasts border, I would make it a bit lighter.
If you have time check out my WIP www.threadless.com/critique/101011/
Winck
I agree with zerbatosamuel.
If you have time: http://www.threadless.com/critique/100589/Juggler http://www.threadless.com/critique/100631/Baby_Saturn http://www.threadless.com/critique/100802/Stop_Pollution
Travegan
I like the concept. But the scale on the tee seems off to me - too large. But the changes you made add great details.
If you would help, I would appreciate it! http://www.threadless.com/critique/101106/To_Fu_Master
Jotalele
Thanks for the comments on the lumberjacks! Really great concept! I think the toast could be bigger and still be impactful. How about toast tattoos? Great work!
RemainUntamed
cool design for sure! I would also think about resizing it a little.. Make it a bit smaller and move it up on the t.... still, nice work. Keep it up!
bscott01
I agree scale it down a little bit and move it higher on the shirt again. I also think it would be nice to see a cord coming out of the toaster. You are heading in the right direction great work.
Phauxe
I like the slider button in version 1 better. Great concept. Needs shadows and highlights
Cirila
I like the second version, good job. The only suggestion that I have is to wider a little bit the table legs. Keep it up!
If you get a chance let me know what you think of my design
lingk
Cute! Submit!
kristdreams
Yup submit it!
Phauxe
Correction, I had the button sliders mixed up, I like the thin button slider best.
damaxer
Overall Aweosme cute design, but i would like to make it smaller around chest. in my opinion it will be great.
please critique mine:
damaxer
please critique mine:
fllood
Very cool design. I'd try to get the steam a little bit more natural.
If you have some time, please take a look at my wip.
Dreamspace
wonderful concept. While the image inside the toaster is awesome. The toaster is not blending well with it. I also feel that the perspective of the toaster is a bit off. And i agree with most of the comments above. as far as the toaster is concerned. None the less it is an awesome design.
Could you score this and leave a comment as what you feel about the design?
Free Advice
AlonsoR
Really good and funny. I would suggest changing the smoke/steam coming out of the toaster and adding some shadows, for example a shadow of the toast into the bench, from the bench into the ground etc, but not too much, you should still keep it simple.
PabloW92
Great idea, very funny haha. I dont like the placement so much, I think the smoke lines are taking to much space and the drawing should be little more up
Check out mines if you have the time: Fly To Your heart Mortal Smoker
txz6
Hi, thank you all for you comments, they have been very helpful. Based on that, I have made new changes to hopefully improve my design. I have added a base to the toaster, made the bread bigger, made the toaster smaller and raised the placement. Also and probably the main change is that I have changed the steam coming out of the toaster for a steam cloud that surrounds the toaster to better blend the design with the T. Please let me know what you think of these changes.
I appreciate your time and comments.
txz6
By the way, you can see the placement by clicking on the image.
RemainUntamed
Hey, I think this one is definitely the best version so far... the steam cloud is a nice touch! Keep up the good work...
Vaaaampire
Maybe just the steam coming out the top. Nice work.
and critique mine if you get a minute please http://www.threadless.com/critique/101290/Para_Tetris
Erica25
I can't think of much to change, it looks really good. Maybe the dots on the toast could be the same colour as the bench so they look more like sesames (not sure if they are white or not, it's hard to tell?)
onetwotees
its nice
Chickow
Haha, this one is nice. Maybe adding a texture for a vintage effect would complete the picture!
O.T.
You did a great job!! The only remark I have is that the steam is supposed to be inside the toaster, since the bread is in a sauna session! :)
I like your design :)
synthstride
lols i like it, the only thing i can think of is maybe edit the shape of the toast dude, like maybe give the stryotypical butt shape at the top.
i need criticism http://threadless.com/critique/101436/Graphic_Tee
Jonathan Lim
haha hey, really novel idea. I'd think it's about ready!
Dreamspace
This looks nice. I think you have blurred the steam cloud bit too much.
InesBernadette
I like it! :)
hyeJack
HAHAHAA!!! Like the humour concept! SUBMIT!
how is mine?, please http://www.threadless.com/critique/100523/Rainbow_is_Melting
bscott01
Hey thanks for your critique on my last design it is up for scoring if you are interested in voting Thanks!
Also this one only has one day left so I'd really appreciate your vote
PabloW92
Mmmm i'm not sure about that cloud. i would try to make the steam came only from upside but different as it was before. The full cloud makes no sense with all the design
Check out mines if you have the time: GET HIGH Fly To Your Heart
aestheticbrain
Slight adjustments...but the idea is simply HILARIOUS!!!! I like the way you think. :)
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