THANKS EVERYONE!!! 365 SLOGANS IS DONE!!!!
So... Here it is!
This blog is a work in progress so things will be changing/deleted/eated/feeted/licked. Things will come together all in good time....or not.
Most Recent Slogans are near the bottom
Day by Day Slogans For The Count
We all need to believe in something. I believe in beer.
What was PBS thinking? You can't actually read rainbows.
If I had a golden opportunity, I would sell it for the money.
I'm the complete package minus some things.
The odds are great... and so are the evens.
It's hard to find an English definition in a Spanish dictionary.
Thumb Drives. Sooner or later they are gonna run out of thumbs.
I spilled wine all over your carpet. Happy Mother's Day!
Mullets: Getting half a hair cut for full price
Astrophysics is not rocket science. It's astrophysics.
Geology is not rocket science. It's just rock science.
Some people like to play on words. I would rather play on grass.
Inspiration only comes after death or serious accidents.
A cephalopod dies everytime someone eats calamari.
If we are what we eat, then I would eat myself.
If you're going to be supportive, you should know I weigh 500lbs.
An academic award from 3rd grade is as useless as one from 6th.
(back of shirt) My shirt is just fine. I wear them all like this.
I already got a nose job. It's called smelling.
My Mr. Hyde does all my dirty work for me, including the laundry.
Can you read me now? Good.
Food is art. I have a soft and hard palate for all flavors.
Accidents usually occur in areas of little or no common sense.
If a picture is worth a thousand words, Photoshop is spellcheck.
Life is what you make it. Well, I say make a sandwich.
(back)Yeah, my shirt is on backwards. I wear them all like this.
No, I'm not ignoring you. I'm just using an ellipsis right now.
Beer: Because everything else is either expensive or disgusting
Nihilism: There isn't much point in explaining
Don't blame me for my poor examples. It's not like they get paid.
Bottled Air: The next best thing since bottled water.
All's fair in love and war until someone pulls out a love potion.
Blame Your Problems On The Economy And Everyone Will Understand
It pays to bring a gun to a rock, paper, scissors fight.
Negativity can't come in twos, because then it would cancel out.
Super Glue: We all need a superhero, including arts and crafts.
Gnomes come in all colors, shapes, and sizes, except tall.
Some people have a peace of mind. I would rather have a whole one
White out is for those who can't live up to their mistakes.
Sudoku is easier then originally thought. Just pick a number 1-9.
R.I.P. Beef Tenderloin. I hear it helps hold in the juices.
Save a tree. Kidnap a lumberjack.
I enjoy thinking green with my solar powered thinking cap.
Tweeting is for the birds.
I don't think inside the box. I think inside a skull.
Get Me A Banjo And A Tambourine And I'll turn This Into A Shindig
I'm physically fit when I can physically fit into my clothes.
Quit killing your skin cells prematurely. Wear sunscreen.
My pillow is a creep. It knows where I sleep at night.
I tried to split a fifty, but got caught for currency defacement.
I'll take my eggs any way, except dropped.
A book never written: How to Read
I jigsaw puzzles to make them fit.
Advertise here. Reasonable Prices. See shirt owner for details.
I burned a CD, but all I got was ashes.
I am just shy of being anti-social.
Intelligence can be measured with common sense.
Simplicity: That's Me
Argentinians are Americans too.
I told the all-seeing eye to go to bed. I don't think it heard.
I was a little in-patient at the hospital today.
You are in my humour, and sometimes you are not in my humor.
Spooning is much safer than forking or knifing.
Carpenters don't find much use with fingernails.
I am satired of my stupid jokes.
What goes around, comes around... and around. (belt print)
Now You See Me (regular ink) Now You Don't (glow ink)
Einstein liked to trim his mustache with Occam's razor.
I enjoy staying up late to finish counting the sheep.
I blame you for starting the blame game.
OCD is as easy to cure as one, two, three, one, two, three...
Cheaters never cheat. They just win.
Look on the bright side. It's easier to see than the dark side.
Millions of years of evolution and all we got were thumbs.
I wish life was like tetris; line up things, and they go away.
If the pieces don't fit, get the hammer.
Cheaters never win. They just cheat.
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, and Jack jump over the landmines.
What was Humpty Dumpty doing on the wall in the first place?
We all have the right to bear arms. I just hope mine are grizzly.
Rapunzel should have donated to Locks of Love.
Save the World.doc Ctrl + S
I turned out all right and left.
It's a great day for chocolate cake!
Conserve water. Drink milk.
Parents For Sale. Buy One Get One Free.
My bread is toast.
If you bite the hand that feeds you, make sure you eat it.
Hardcore Pluto Fan
I'm A Hardcore Pluto Fan.
If life gives you lemons, chuck them at strangers.
Great minds think alike, because they know telepathy.
Calculus books make great pillows.
Osmosis: Failed Learning Technique
6/16/09 (I was busy, lol)
When Push Comes To Shove, It's Time To Try Pulling.
I've expanded osmosis for much meaningful tasks, like learning.
My work ethic doesn't kick in till around noon.
Fishing Supplies: Rod, Tackle, Bucket Of Worms, Shotgun
I appreciate everytime I see you, just don't sell me.
My early retirement was supposed to start 5 years ago.
Caffeine, sugar, and sleep are all interchangeable
Caffeine, sugar, and sleep are all interchangeable.
Shotgun: Shoot First, Ask Questions Later
If Earth runs out of room, there is always more space.
My decision making process involves rocks, paper, and scissors.
Trail Blazing: The First Step To Forest Fires
Don't hurt me. I'm just the sidekick.
The right and left atriums are the ways to anyone's heart.
There is much pressure bearing down on me; 100 kPa to be exact.
I live for the moment, and then I die.
Headbutts are a lose-lose situation.
Books were quite a novel idea at the time.
My green thumb is actually a pale yellow.
(html bold code)I am very bold.(html bold code)
Coffee in the morning is optional, but highly recommended.
If at first you don't succeed, it's time to change career paths.
My doctor said that I am beautiful on the inside.
Inflation burst more than a bubble. It emptied my bank account.
The grass is greener on the otherside, because it's painted.
I'll underline the point so it's easier to see
I roll with the punches, and tumble and fall.
I bank on working from nine to five.
I can reed, but I can't rite.
I hate impolite alarm clocks and their rude awakenings.
My stopwatch buttons are pressed for time.
How can the X-Men be men? They got the wrong chromosome.
What happened to all the bombs between A and H?
I'm a secret spy, well not anymore.
Eureka! I found it, in the dictionary.
I like mxied dirnks
Taxes are so easy, because I don't do them.
I'm right brained, as in I'm always right.
Toads: They do their thing and then they croak.
My closest encounter with early retirement was unemployment.
In all seriousness, I only kid.
I wanted to make some money, but I ended up getting a prophet.
I tasted the rainbow, and I liked it.
I roll with the punches, tumble and fall.
I can reed, but I can't right.
I space and time travel in the spacetime continuum simultaneously
I have a life, just not in this dimension.
On the flipside, pancakes are delicious.
You might know Pythagoras' theorem, but do you know his birthday?
Anatomy 101: Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes!
All you need is love... food, water, shelter, and clothing.
Tag! You're a pronoun!
I like stereotypes; loud and extra loud.
Pulled Pork - livestock never gives up without a fight
Hunters are always looking to get a buck
High Food Demand Here (positioned over stomach)
I leave the buck hunting for investors.
Never argue with a 90 degree angle. It's always right.
Always bring paper to a rock fight.
Incorrect? punctuation, usage should. become a' finable offence;
Pork & Beans - Where is the pork?
I know deep down that, I'm hungry, in my stomach.
I have the consumption... of food.
Movie stars aren't hot. They're just gassy.
I'm left-brained, as in, "My brain has left me."
Mule deer: Another animal with an identity crisis
I haven't lost my marbles. I've temporarily misplaced them.
Waffles are delicious, but on the flipside so are pancakes
Magma rocks my world!
Never bring scissors to a rock fight.
Pancakes: (pi)(r^2)(h) of yummy goodness
I do v-turns.
My neighbors love my electric fence.
You make a better wall, than a door, than a window.
No means no, unless you speak German.
Reverse engineering is another form of time travel.
My pet rock is old enough to be a fossil.
The golden standard is worth more than the silver one.
I have my English teachers to thank for my arthritus.
Detention puts you in a class all by yourself.
still waiting for an academic challenge
Fifth grade graduation is another way to celebrate mediocre.
I'll trade you my pudding cup for your biochemistry solutions.
I'm exhausted of carbon dioxide.
Read my lips, "Pay your taxes."
I got sucked on oil.
Static electricity was one of Ben Franklin's key discoveries.
DJIT- Disc Jockey in Training
I'm as cool as a cucumber, except for the cucumber part.
Super Glue: The Hero of Art and Craft Supplies
I think the X-Men got the wrong chromosome.
Thanks to calendars, finding dates has become a lot easier.
Scared to death covers a lot. What about heart attack?
Sleep comes to those who rest.
Public health care, eh?
Life isn't fair, deal with it and you might get a better one.
I don't cross lines; I erase them.
Cooking the books is a recipe for disaster.
My brain maxed out at 25 gigabytes.
How come my report cards don't have any jokers?
Sarcasm is funny.
Bureaucrats. B-u-r-e-a-u-c-r-a-p-s. Bureaucraps.
don't hate me because I'm stupid
Happy New Fiscal Year!
Don't screw with my nails.
Accountants are so accrual.
You're all out of lamb, I'm so lost without ewe.
Wish upon a shooting star, and pray it's not a meteor.
There's more than one way to skin a cat, but most are illegal.
I wish graham crackers weighed up to scale.
My golfing skills never lived up to double bogey.
Don't put off living, because then you might die.
I went to jail for money laundering. I just wanted clean money.
Last time the chipmunks packed, my trunk was filled with nuts.
This is esrever ygolohcysp.
Hogwash? Like that's ever going to happen.As infants, we all learned to be pacifists.
i thought i was going to hell, but it was just my mother-in-law's
Look what the dog dragged in... a cat.
The birds and the bees aren't the only ones doing it.
I'd bring sexy back, but I think I broke it.
After prosecuted for money laundering, I cleaned up my act.
I got auto insurance because my muscle car got ripped.
I thought being human qualified me for superior intelligence?
Security envelope protection can only go so far.
"Knock on wood" sounds like the beginning of a bad joke
I wish Father Time gave later curfews.
Beer-pong is the sound of me running into things while drunk.
The writing on the wall is graffiti.
Red isn't delicious.
100% Recyclable When Deceased
Do solipsists even exist?
Road Work Pending
Money can't buy you happiness, but it comes close.
Where there's a will, there's a power of attorney.
Vitamen C is good for eyesight, go figure.
I'd bend over backwards, but I'm no contortionist.
I tied the knot, but it was the noose.
Give a dog a bad name, but it won't care.
The calendar's days are numbered.
Genetic Engineering? When pigs fly.
Never start from scratch on a chalkboard.
The leopard can't change its spots, but the chameleon can.
Don't give me lip service; I have a cosmetic surgeon for that.
Load the dice, because I'm out of bullets.
I like my carbonated beverages stirred, not shaken.
I forgot the combination to Davy Jones's locker.
Sour grapes make great wine.
B1 Hit, G7 Hit, B4 Miss, N10 Hit, I2 Hit, O9 Bingo!
The birds and the bees would do me too.
Get in line behind Casca.
Death comes to those who wait.
I wish my eggs were a dime a dozen.
Elvis has left the building, and this world.
Good music never dies, it gets overplayed.
The monster within is rather small.
If you let your toast idle, it will crash and burn.
Me and my notebooks agree: College Rules
Senior high was the worst 6 years of my life.
My physics engine had so much potential.
Abandon hope, all ye who enter thy mouth.
Party like you're still sober!
Please don't vote. I want mine to count.
With your back to the drawing board, things become difficult.
My ballpark figures are out of this world!
I'm armed to the teeth against gingivitis.
It ain't over till the fat lady stops singing.
Waldo needs to grow up and stop playing hide-and-seek.
I'm going to heaven? Hell yeah!
Till death do us part had short life expectancies in mind.
Being psychic only works four percent of the time.
It's all water under the bridge, except for the troll.
Prince Charming is going to need a broom to sweep me off my feet.
I can't fathom the meaning of short-term memory.
I can cope with atmospheric pressure, 100 kPa at a time.
Waldo needs a new hobby.
Whoever says bite is worse than bark hasn't tried to sleep.
Don't play with windmills. They will blow you away.
I laced your drink with a pretty bow.
Pills: Just what the doctor ordered.
I'm outstanding in front of you.
Hell yeah, I'm going to heaven!
The Holy Spirit has got mad skillz!
The crickets don't even chirp for me.
Somehow "buy one/get half off" always costs me double.
Me and the President agree: He's a jackass.
The light at the end of the tunnel is red.
Hold the phone, otherwise you'll drop it.
Interruptions are meant to happen. Might as well be first.
Moving up in life means getting out of the basement.
Fear is in the eyes of the bee-holder.
My whole life can be summed up to 1
Being "in the zone" got me a traffic violation.
I had enough energy to get dressed. That's it. (sloppy lettering)
If I'd wanted a tool I'd have gotten my wrench.
Beware the pitchfork in the road.
After a couple years, catch phrases get dropped.
Waldo seriously needs to get a day job.
These jeans are new because my money burned holes in my old pair.
I kid, you not, you're old.
Come to think of it, all birthdays are pretty sweet.
I eat dictionaries to increase vocabulary.
I eat dictionaries to increase vocabulary and daily fiber intake.
Impending doom makes me chuckle.
Ich want viajar le mondo.
Help! Ho brauche um traducteur, por favor.
I love you.
There's no such thing as a public diary.
My right to party has been infringed by my calculus homework.
My right to party has been infringed upon by my homework.
Einstein was such a quark.
The only problem with smorgasbords is you can't surf them.
If you have a Bluetooth, I'd recommend you go to the dentist.
Regular brushing and flossing takes the bite out of tooth decay.
I'd show you my superior savvy, but my lesser would get jealous.
My definition of tragedy is reading King Leer.
Global Warming: The wave of the future.
Lightning does strikes twice; just try the electrical socket.
Park Rangers shoot to paralyze, temporarily.
I beat around the bush because I have allergies.
I choose multiple answers on multiple choice tests.
I'd rewrite history, but I already wrote it once.
Celebrate differences! Do some subtraction!
Don't worry about Indian Givers, worry about the USA Government.
You're pretty lame if you shoot yourself in the foot.
The Few. The Proud. The Intelligent.
When all else fails, you win!
Close doesn't cut it, but scissors do.
Capital P is for punishment.
The emptiness you're feeling inside would be your lungs.
100% Made in the Womb
If it's not genuine, it's not leather.
Mr. Jay Walker isn't your everyday pedestrian.
Inside jokes are meant to be told with twelve inch voices.
Global warming is the wave of the future.
The fourcasts don't cover the world.
I wash my hands of the swine flu.
Shades: Protecting eyes in style since the 1900s
Lead poisoning: It happens when you're at the front of the line.
After my third spouse, I ran out of alimoney.
I always thought Billy Graham was full of crackers.
We all have photographic memory, but some forget to use film.
These maps indicate a seven-eyed sea dragon at Main and Fairview.
Pavlov's and Skinner's pets didn't get along.
I miss the good ol' days like coloring and recess.
Meet me in the middle, and you'll find my belly button.
There is no ''i'' in team work, or carpool lane apparently.
Misquoting is the root of all evil.
Carpet bombs were never much of a threat.
Hi, my name is Thomas, and I'm a train wreck.
I'm like the Little Engine That Could But Never Got Around To It.
Madness? This is the psych ward.
My tricks are so old, they don't come from books.
My barcode says the following: Needs More Drinks
The oldest trick in the book was written in cuneiform.
I countered his uppercut with a papercut.
I finish off my opponents with takeouts, Chinese style.
If life's a drag, it's time to cut it loose.
Oh rats! The Pied Piper is at my doorstep.
And this little piggy cried ''Onomatopoeia!'' all the way home.
I choose all my choice words.
The bottom line is it's the end of the month, period.
Unless your a crow, don't expect to travel as the crow flies.
Predictability is best served late and cold.
I crossed the line and got a parking ticket.
Butter is high in sodium and cholesterol, but good on biscuits.
The dictionary redefines the world as we know it.
Ladybugs always make a big stink of things.
Come join the bandwagon. We have hay.
Dr. Frankenstein was a true bodybuilder.
Blackjack is the real deal.
I dominate my breakfast, lunch, and dinner all in three bites.
I'm handsomely rewarded with good looks.
Headbutts are anatomically not possible.
Remind me again why I'm tying this piece of string to my finger?
To know and to no are two different things.
If everyone was awesome then we'd all be mediocre.
Paradox: This sentence is false.
Wait around long enough and you might be late for something.
I'll trade my pudding cup for your astrophysics problem solutions
Curiosity killed the cat, but chocolate killed the dog.
Ice is the coolest thing since sliced bread.
My ghoul in life is to have some fun.
10/19/09Undo worked in real life.
Rich is what I want to be when I grow up.
Abra: Creating failure one teleport at a time
Pie charts need a little more apple.
I can remember everything, subconsciously.
My boomerang's nickname is hira-shuriken.
My engine runs on pavement.
Dictionaries are all full of words.
If the odds are good, then the evens must be bad.
Screw life, I'll just have chocolates.
My car runs on pavement.
Step away from the caffeine! I hear it's drugged.
Memory lane has too many muggers.
You need the keys of magic before ever hoping to become a warlock
Memory Lane is too congested.
I can multiply, divide, and conquer.
Someone swallowed the keys to the kingdom.
When did they start writing prescriptions for laughter?
I locked the keys to the kingdom in the car.
If you evolve any slower you might go extinct.
When in private, clothes are optional.
Read a book by its cover if you want to know the title.
Typos in real life are called bad handwriting.
When pages make binding contracts, they become a book.
The dotted line is the greatest ripoff.
Differential equations help solve differences.
dictionary [dik-shuh-ner-ee] -noun 1. a book of definitions.
Stamps of approval cannot mail letters.
We are first person, plural.
Set the bar high, otherwise you'll walk into it.
Save on school supplies: take less notes
Named must your syntax be before banish it you can.
syntax a yoda problem has
Everything is absolute, sorta.
Jack-in-the-closet can come out now.
I am first person, singular.
(front)Get in line. (back)Let's line dance.
Help stump rainforest deforestation. Prune paper consumption.
If change is in the air then what the hell am I breathing?
I'm freezing, so get me a thermos stat!
One step forward, two steps back is how I roll.
Europe is Hungary for some Turkey.
Mind is not over matter the last time I checked the dictionary.
Blood is oxygenated, when it comes from the heart.
My soul likes clam chowder.
Put a cork in it and stop your whining.
Lights are such a turn on.
Brain is what's for dinner, if you're a zombie.
My keyboard is out of ctrl!
Color in between the lines... or else.
Natural selection is why I got picked last for kickball teams.
My best friend has a tail.
This is a long sleeve, but my arms are just longer.
It's all fair when there is lamb and funnel cake.
Life isn't fair, so you better learn how to cheat.
History books make the best pillows.
I play word search with the dictionary on a regular basis.
ALL CAPS MAKES MY EYES BLEED
The meaning of life can be found on the back of the cereal box.
My stereotypes are AM and FM.
Exercise: You can run, but you can't hide.
I'm half-human, half-beast, half-wait-that's-one-too-many-halves.
I kicked the turkey out in the cold.
You mess with the skunk, you get the smell.
The key to locks is that you have it.
1/26 of the alphabet is about you
Spider veins give me a tingling feeling.
You'll never get any lucky breaks with a windowpane.
I'd work my magic, but I only get paid minimum wage.
I never seem to get any lucky breaks with windowpanes.
Dehydration is the reason why I drink.
I pawn the things I own.
Whistles aren't as clean as they are made out to be.
History writes the books, but who is writing the history?
P.S. Wile Coyote always dies.
I drink to dehydration!
I don't make the rules, I rebel them.
I always thought labyrinths were amazing.
Bacteria live in many diverse cultures.
I'd put my best foot forward, but I don't want to stub it.
(The moon is about only 60 arm reaches away) x10^7
10 in toe is how I travel
At the sound of music... I listen.
Taste buds, they're on the tip of you're tongue.
Excuse me, sorry for being so apologetic.
Can you answer my hypothetical question for me?
The number one cause of death is death.
I have ten phalanges in hand and ten in toe.
Give them an inch and they'll take you're ruler.
See how I stick my neck out for my t-shirts? (around the collar)
The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog, now I know my ABC's.
Give them an inch and they'll take your ruler.
What is a hypothetical question?
No one ever talks about the second noel.
The hills are alive with the sound of landslides!
tbh i ttly use too many abbrs
Do my eyes deceive me, or are they just bloodshot?
Let's put the junk back into subjunctive.
It's watch to look at my time.
I want to live in a world where science is a verb.
The universe pretty much covers everything.
In the absence of absence, you are attendant.
One of these days comes once a month.
Rhetorical question, what's that?
Who would have guessed this is a question?
Read between the lines, you'll be surprised what you'll find.
At least it's not fruitcake...
Am I asking for it?
WTF is FTW
Life is a cliché, but so is this shirt.
Nothing is absolute, except this.
WTF is FTW, almost.
Everyone should be free, except those in jail.
No cake? Let them eat cookies.
In case of disaster, run around screaming hysterically.
Cookie Monster knows how the cookie crumbles.
I locked the keys to the kingdom in my car.
Reach for the stars, you're only 4.2 light years away.
Nothing is absolute, except for this.
It's a 12/365th chance that today is Christmas.
Sound bites pertain to the wrong sense.
I bet you'll never expect a surprise.
Surprises always come unexpected.
Cats are terrifying, and occasionally hypoallergenic.
Inside jokes are only told with twelve inch voices.
Everything is only minutes away.
Have A Merry Birthday, A Happy Thanksgiving, And A Fun New Year.
These deer are a bargain. They come with reigns included
I always thought French words were a little funné.
To be honest, I lie all the time.
With great power comes great outlets.
All your plural belong to me.
All your grammar are belong to us.
The hills are alive with the sound of rockslides.
The Game = You Just Lost
Most things in life will never be comparable to a faceless puppy.
There's a sucker born every minute. That's why we have lollypops.
some movies are like a good book that was made into an dumb movie
I have close calls with my neighbors daily.
I understand sign language just fine. The speed limit is 45 mph.
I miss the days of pre-nostalgia.
For footnotes, see below.¹
What the !$@& is profanity?
Now that I think of it, I never look any horse in the mouth.
Bacteria are diverse, especially in many cultures.
The correct way isn't necessarily right.
When light commits a crime they send him to prism.
There is snow outside. Time to pack it in and make an igloo.
The correct way could be right... or left.
Leonard the lion didn't make the cut for frosted flakes.
If only I had a magic wand, then I could make one appear.
I pride myself in not having an ego.
I never contradict myself, sometimes.
I pride myself on not having an ego.
When I got wind of the situation, I practically fell over.
I can't lose any weight because I keep finding it.
The tooth fairy gave me dentures.
History is set in stone, that's why the books weigh so much.
You know in the ball pit something pulled your leg? That was me.
The mirror tells me a lot about myself, and those behind me.
Dear Diary, Today I publicized you.
I like to keep my enemies at an arm's throw, not an arm's length.
DON'T YOU HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE USE ALL CAPS?
1 g = 1 cm3 = 1 mL = 1 headache
Boo hiss can only mean one thing: ghost snakes
Subtractions makes up for the difference.
The problem with problems is they need answers.
Which boiled first? The yolk or the egg white?
Strong drinks make weak minds.
Let's watch paint dry.
The tricks of the trade always fool me.
according to the trajectory of the moon and the sun, you are here
You have approximately five seconds to finish reading this.
When the spouse calls, most of the time it's on the telephone.
If you think I'm smart, check out my pants.
I found it, in this sentence.
I'm a genius. Take a look at my pants. They're on fire!
I just can't wait to king! Oops, I live in a democracy.
I make a better wall then a window, so don't run into me.
The lack of motivation is what drives my procrastination.
These legs need a much needed break.
What does the sun need glasses for?
I consider doing my taxes as cruel and unusual punishment.
I make a better wall than a window, so don't run into me.
Will you... (insert suspense here) be my friend?
black holes suck, literally
Having a door slammed in your face is hard to handle.
I like my clothes to be the same as my news: complete coverage
I'm leaking radiation, you just can't see it.
If you know a party pooper, direct them to the nearest toilet.
It's a great day for sleeping.
Cigarettes are such a drag.
Thanks to friction, walking is such a drag.
i don't know what's worse: the gorgons or the brontë sisters
I'm sick, fatigued, and tired of repeating myself.
I'm coo-coo for cuckoo clocks.
I'll give you a hand, but it's going to cost an arm and a leg.
Remember the Al?
Sentence me to life, but I already have one.
The Sauerkraut Dolls never really caught on.
There's a point when it's not worth it. This is called dull.
Aging gets old
I need to remove a stain from when I spilled the beans.
The sample size for this survey is one.
Don't write in the margins or you'll get lots of errors.
Mirrors tells me a lot about myself, and those behind me.
I need to Ctrl+F something to do.
I have a difficult time comprehending astronomically-sized words.
I hope I don't get paragraphed to life.
Sir Realism has a hard time keeping it real.
Commas save lives: Let's go eat, grandpa. Let's go eat grandpa.
It's not economics till you lose money in the stock market.
I was 403'd from going on the internet.
After a storm comes a calm, and then a flood.
Crime does not pay, but it can entertain.
Many hands make light work lighter.
Pluto is hardcore planet.
Crime does not pay, but it entertains.
This conversation is awkward.
A million bucks isn't made by hard work. It's made by a machine.
You can see it in Confucius' name: Confusing
Crime doesn't pay, it entertains.
It's hard to look back on yourself when you can't see your back.
Time is money, but non-refundable.
The fast track is a slippery slope.
I hear anger management is all the rage.
Francisco Goya was good at keeping it real.
For crying out Ioud, serif your Ietters!
Mathematicians have safety in numbers.
Auditors account for their safety in numbers.
You're squinting; I'm not surprised. (really small font size)
Archimedes makes a mean pi.
Arrows know the way.
A decade ago, I was ten years younger.
If a picture is worth a thousand words, just call it a book.
Plastic makes it possible, including packed landfills.
To simulate the symptoms of heartburn: Drink battery acid
If everyone was brilliant, we'd all be blind.
Inflation: Filling up at the buffet now for this week's groceries
It's hard to coin the feeling of being Franc.
The best chance is the next one.
Need some cards? I'll deal.
Conjunctions sound educated; therefore, you should use them.
Why use the Socratic Method?
Green Eggs & Ham sounds like bad case of food poisoning.
Inspire people. Run a marathon.
Inspire people. Volunteer time. Donate money. Do great things.
I took a bite out of crime: getting curb stomped
The right price is a little something I like to call free.
digestion takes real guts
In layman's terms: You're dumb
The S-shirt never really caught on.
Digestion takes some real guts.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, there is this place called utopia.
At an aquarium, a killer whale is an occupational hazard
It's easy to be alone with yourself.
Epinephrine is what gets my heart going.
In case of confusion, diffuse responsibility.
Merchandising: Want to buy my shirt?
Dividing by zero gives you infinite answers.
the little boy who cried wolf must have had some large tear ducts
Absence makes the work grow greater.
When it rains, I have an umbrella and galoshes to boot.
Will work for an interview
Failure is permanent, like your mustache.
01001001 0011110000110011 binary.
Having cold feet is a sign that you should put on socks.
Failure is temporary, till you fail again.
Reach for the stars, they're only 4.2 light years away.
Of all the days of the year, this is one of them.
I still use a sippy cup.
Of all the days in the year, today is one of them.
Cookies take the cake.
Cookies just about take the cake.
It's funny how no one takes offense to percussing.
I'd roll my eyes, but they belong in my sockets.
There is neither right nor wrong, just perspective.
The universe is like the Earth, just a lot bigger.
Locks are key when it comes to security.
I lie all the time, honestly.
Having cold feet is an indicator that you should put socks on.
Subtraction makes all the difference.
I see you, you, and you.
A decade from now I'll be ten years older.
Radon, apply directly to the forehead.
Planets are strong in the ways of the force.
You can never have what it takes.
Oranges are quite appealing.
Oranges are quite appeeling.
If you're working stiff, you're not going to be productive.
In physics I learned the ways of weak and strong force.
After this sentence will come the future.
Generals don't know the details.
You can have your cake and weight watchers too.
Will be or will not be, that is the future.
Whipped cream is cruel and unusual punishment.
Whipping cream is cruel and unusual punishment.
I burned a CD, and all I got were ashes.
The Lord giveth and speakth in such a strangeth way.
Double, double toil and trouble when reading MacBeth
Being tall is a headache.
The sun knows what's up.
The sky knows what's up.
The truth lies at the bottom.
This is the undershirt.
I burned a CD, and all I got was ashes, ashes, we all fall down.
Oranges are apeeling fruit.
The laws of physics don't have jurisdiction in chemistry.
Too many cooks spoil the surprise.
Where there's a will there's an attorney.
Many hands make lots of shadow puppets.
A morning without coffee is like I never got up.
If you're happy and you know it lol.
A dictionary is worth more than a photograph.
I reveal my secrets to brick walls.
Shape shifters make geometry class easy.
All good things must come to an...
Unicorns, Unibrows, Underwear, Oh My!
NASA. Never Actually Solves Anything.
You don't know until I tell you, but then you won't remember.
Future, I'm still waiting for my flying car.
People are awesome, in theory.
Stop global warming. Buy ice.
I run when chased.
All good things come to a break.
Work with me now, or work for me later.
In 100 years, I'll be dead and this will be irrelevant.
My chances are good for anything, according to the weatherman.
In art class going back to the drawing board was common.
I depreciate inflation.
When scientists get angry, they see infrared.
Rebel! Conform! Or you could passively resist.
Our unalienable rights are what protect us from UFOs.
The end of the world is a period.
Never take advice, only tips.
A period is at the end of the world.
Dear Future, I'm still waiting for my flying car. Thanks, Present
Let's perpetuate the cycle of violence together.
Never take advice from strangers, only tips.
Con-trolls are really just giants.
This is my special-tee.
Today is always on a date.
Fresh air isn't that fresh after all.
The law of the conversation of mass matters.
Ultimate frisbee because ordinary frisbees weren't good enough.
Ultimate frisbee because the ordinary ones weren't cutting it.
Everyone is exceptional, except you.
Killing reptiles is cold blood murder.
I drink to dehydration.
Elves are always in short supply.
Dogs are never hard fetched to find a bone.
If you mess with the skunk, you get the smell.
Please support all of my "buddies" at 365 slogans! They put a lot of time and effort thinking of creative slogans! Here are their slogan pages:
Thanks, Peace, Live Long and Prosper, Adios Amigos, etc. etc.!