Hi, I've resubmitted this design as it was about a month since I last did anything to it and it was getting lost at the back of the critique pages.



Anyhoo, I've tried to listen to as much feedback as possible and I've tidied up the design so hopefully it looks a bit more cardboard-y.



Any suggestions welcome

First suggestion would be to change the black to just a dark brown... and maybe make the circles a bit less bold.

I'm too lazy to look for the old critique, but personally , I think this could do without the binocular view. Maybe that's what you were talked into though.

I like the animals but i could do with out the binoculars. Also, the "this side up" text on the rino is hard to see.

Couldn't wear it...I have enough "headlights" as it is.

I think it would be cool if you incorperated some of that ribbed carboard texture you see if you rip a box apart. You could maybe use it as a ground texture, or for the trunk of the tree?

I also agree that if you could do without the binocular circles, it would look much nicer.

I think the animals are really cool and should be much larger on the T

hi, here's a new version without the binoculars, think you guys were right it looks better without them.



Keep the comments coming, thanks

I've just noticed that nick out of the top of the tree, i'll sort that for the next version

Ah, much better! It feeels as if your animals have been let free of their cage, run rhino while you still can!

i really like those animals. and i don't see a nick on the top of the tree. i would keep it like this, though - add anything else and you risk making it too complex/confusing

I would also get rid of the sunset box

but keep the sunset

I think if you could let the skyline fade out using a textured feel that allows more attention on the figures this'd be great. Right now, the low contrast of the figure to ground with a solid background is a little offputting.



I'm being vague, but if you could make the skyline fade with an effect like halftoning... but not halftoning... that'd be ideal.

I've thickened the tree to try to make it look more like thick cardboard with bits of corrugation and I've added a few lines to it give the impression of crease marks in the cardboard. not sure if it works.



I messed around with the red skyline but as yet I haven't got anything I'm happy with.



I'd also like to make the horizon look like ripped paper but i've got no idea how to do that.

maybe a crumpled paper effect (using 2 colors if you can) with torn edges in a half oval?



it works in my mind's eye.



I like the additions, they work really well.

muuuuch better. it has a more cardboardy feel to it

oh, crumply paper might be nice too. i wouldnt do that to the animals, though - it might make them too complicated

Awesome! Absolutly love the layout now. The only thing that trobles me is the boxy sunset. Maybe use jaged lines for the border other than straight?

what do you mean, chris?

make the rectangular red background look like the edge of ripped cardboard other than straight lines.

or fade the edges out buy halftone

*by halftone.

ooh, chris, i agree. also, make it narrower - having it go all the way to the sleeves is too much for me, and you have enough negative space that you can cut out some without really losing anything.

my only complaint with this is that they're just standing there. there should be a jeep or something in the back with people taking photos of them, and like, some native people in the corner laughing or something.

m

Hero Status: i disagree, it's nice and simple now. i think too much more and it would get crowded/complex/confusing.

i just dont see it really winning without some sort of a narrative, u kno? most things that win seem to have some sort of an action or point they're getting across.

m

actually, i see what you mean. still, though, kritch: be careful putting something like that in.

Hi everyone, thanks for the comments.



In this version I've changed the horizon line to what I hope looks like torn paper and I've changed the red box into a halftoned oval, which I'm not sure is quite right yet, but I thought I'd get your opinions before I did anything else.



I tired making crumpled paper effects but it didn't look very good with just to two shades of brown I have avaliable.



I see the importance of having a narrative, but all I could come up with was: Cardboard Aminals are Awesome.

Like what you did.



Submit it

i like that sunset way more now :]

I also like this. A lot.

I want this shirt. Sub it!

I like it. One comment though. Since the light is coming from behind the figures, I think theta there should be some shade on the animals or make them a little darker.

the board holding up the tree could still be a little darker

Hi, hopefully this'll be the final version, I've just darkened parts of the animals and added a few thicker black lines to make the shadows more defined.



Let me know what you think

Thanks

maybe make the halftone dots a little smaller, and maybe reverse it so that there are red dots radiating out rather than shirt-colored dots radiating in. sounds picky but i think it might help it gel some

You're right thunderpeel, I've inverted the halftoning and reduced the dot size and it looks much better.



Ta.

Want one!

this is so nice!

A Darfur of cardboard

great idea but...I don't like the colors

Perfecto, maestro...SUBMIT!

Hi everyone, I’ve just sent this design in for approval



Thanks again for all your assistance.