This design is based on a story I wrote a few years ago about a revolutionary snail called Marcus and his magical portal to a world where snails are much happier beings.



I'd appreciate any critique you can give me.

if you can you should get rid of the space on the very bottom of the shirt

And make it the same colour as the grass? I can do that. Thanks :)



Anything particular about the pictures or the colour or composition I can improve on?

Here you can read the very short story it's based on, The Snail of DOOM! (Written by Layla).



As for the design.... I could do it in the same style but with a layout more like this. Would that be better?

Hmm. It didn't post my comment. Anyway... I moved the design down to the bottom of the tee (I had it in my head that Threadless wouldn't print over that part, that's why I didn't do it before).



I also changed the person at the front. Before they were trying to get out of the snail's mouth but it wasn't very clear so now he's diving out instead. Hopefully that's better?

I'm not sure people will understand the shirt without the story. Maybe if you add some sort of French reference. It's a cute shirt, just needs some work imho

Thank you :) I wouldn't have thought of that because me (and my friends who gave me feedback) have all read the story before. I'll try and work on making it a bit more understandable.



I'm also going to change the snail at the front (again) because it looks like he's spitting the person out (which is the opposite of what I was going for!). And I'm going to try and make the snails look more evil.

I don't like the concept--just not my thing. I love the styling of the snails though. Nice and simple. The big bold colors look good on the shirt, too.

Thank you! Maybe after this I'll try something else in the same style.

ARRGHH it keeps doing this! The design is in Version 3.



I've added a French reference (which is hopefully recognisable). Actually, I added a few of them dotted around the place.



I've also changed the main snail to make him look a little more eager for revenge and this time the person is running away. I was thinking of making everything smaller and to the centre so I could have a little trail of slime coming from him showing he's going after the person.



And lastly I took a cloud away. Please tell me if it looks better with two or three.

I changed around (and added) some of the raining people and put a cloud back in.



Unless there's anything else, I now need a name before I submit. Should I leave it as it is? Or call it something like 'Snail Heaven' ('Meanwhile, in a Snail's Imagination...') or 'Revenge of the Snails' ('Attck of the Snails')?

I don't really understand why the black stick figures are wearing berets.

they're French!

Yep, they're French. The French eat snails (apparently) so the snails are having their revenge. I think I'm going to add an Eiflle Toweror or something if it isn't obvious enough.

Made some changes. Better?

Is there anything else I can improve on? Otherwise I'm going to submit I think.

I dunno looks too paint like, as in done in Ms paint. The stick men and the very simple clo0uds don't exactly help it's cause. The idea is original though just the design isn't much so.