second try

this works an just about all colors especially dark

:D that looks great..

you should show it on a shirt... maybe black

i think dark green is nice... I'll put it on a shirt after i get some feedback in the final version

just for reference, the original critique is here

people please check one of the boxes. If you do i'll mail you a kiss

and tell me WHY you checked it!

i checked submit because i can't think of anything else you can do to it...

i suppose you could do something to his tail.

i think it would look better on a black t with white as the origional lines.

I agree with ashleynicolee. Good job though, pretty creative.

thanks.

looks good man

here's how it looks on black

and on green

I like black but that is almost the only color tshirt I wear so totally biased but still looks good

from what I hear this doesn't sound like it has a chance at being printed. what would give it that one variable?

what bout... thicker crayon lines?

I think if you made it an actual opened coloring book with some crayons nearby ( mabye some short and broken ones ) drawn simply of course and mabye on a natural color shirt for that manila paper feel

on black it's harder to see the dots for me..

if you drew this badboy in marker pen for the lines and then drew the crayon in actual crayon and scanned it in that would be mad authentic

the texture would add a lot of character.

don't give up on it. it's got potential

i think a scanned image would come out nasty

i know what you mean about the dots. i like the idea of crayons. but i don't think you need to show it in a coloring book. deff more detail.

more detail on what

?

character my friend, character



just scanning the crayon strokes only and vectorizing them

my scanner is teh broken :( i gave some blank elephant copies to a little girl and she turned it into an elephant it's awesome! I wish i could mail it to a designer and they do it lol

DUDE!!!!!

I just got a scanner today!!!! Five bucks

sweeeeeeeeeet!

use my scanner

this is the least constructive balance of votes lol

please everyone, TELL me why you choose what you chose

might be cute for a kids shirt, but its lacking something, feels too empty to me. Maybe adding a crayon off to the side or something as stated above.

what color does everyone think is best

ok so everyone agrees it needs work. all i can think of is connecting the dots in different ways. so far, people have showed me how it looks ...

with a top hat, bowtie, and monacle

dressed up as a lion with "roar" coming outta the trunk

and more variations of punk style

so please please give me ANY feedback that comes to mind.

no matter how stupid or even harsh it may be

I think adding more complexity will help... perhaps a crayon or two (stated), scanned crayon (stated), or even maybe a jungle of animals in their natural habitat.... but then there's the crazy punk connected lines!

ahem. that means YOU.

yeah. especially you.

leave any comment. any criticism. AnYtHiNg

what about a jungle of animals connected conventionally, and the one punkyphant

scanned crayon doesn't look too good. i tried it.

well I'm going to colorado til wednesday so please keep this critique active while i'm gone :)

I'm very interested in what OTHER PEOPLE think

ok bye now. read other people's comments and my suggestions and tell me what works best in your mind

bumpeeeeeeez

This would be an awesome sticker or button, but I can't see it as a shirt.

here's what I'm thinking: a whole jungle of dots. the background (trees) are connected like they should be, and the animals are embellished. for example, a giraffe with a top hat.

I'm also thinking of removing the flames

Whatever you want. I'd suggest you go on to some other idea though.

I don't wanna give up on my baby :(

unless.... there's.... no hope... :-(

let me quote lincoln when i say... bump

Without the title/text you would never get the concept

why not

added a giraffe. Needs background and one more animal... maybe even another color

haha this is such a cool idea...i remember these things on resteraunt menus and they were always so easy. This is pimp. It be cool on a different background (color) if it was possible? I'm lovin it tho it really shows a child's creative mindset, and besides lightning on an elephant is sick

haha thanks for the feedback. It'll most likely be on a green shirt

oh and the girraffe and elephant would look cool if they weren't together? I dunno! id just love to see this on a shirt.

come on!! needs work ? NOW? do the work init. make it real, redraw, get it on a shirt, this could be good! tidy it up, make it live man, live#!!!!!

um.... what???

i also changed the dawing lines o make em look more drawing-y

i tried making the giraffe wear a top hat to look fancier but his horns get in the way

the bowtie is kinda hard to see..i'm sure it will come out on the colored shirt

yeah i'm gonna make it smaller and rounder too

in the bumple the mighty bumple

bumpz?

i could just drop everything and have only the giraffe. i like him :)

thoughts on what the 3rd animal should be? I want a flying animal maybe a toucan

ok i like them better with just the crayon... it leaves more to the imagination....

i dont understand

nice idea, now the only think you need to do is to show how this to be place on the tee. my idea, make it giraffe a bit taller then place him at the back of the elephant (side by side), then rotate/mirror everything to make them facing to the right of the tee, push the giraffe more to the left (near to the left side of the tee). now the placement should be on the bottom left corner. :)

once trees and the last animal are added, im doing bottom placement

YEAAA!!!

Cute!

please tell me WHY you choose either submit or needs work

You choose change the dots so they're the same throughout; either big like on the giraffe or small like on the elephant. I like the big dots, but you should try both to see which looks better.



There's a lot you could still do with this, I could picture more animals in an S lined up, across the shirt.



Also, please don't submit on white.

The way you re-drew the lines on the elephant needs work. Plus the earring kind of fades in to the ear now of the elephant...make the hoop bigger. And maybe put a bunch more, and make the hair more mohawk-y. Also, you can color each othe elephant's toes something different to spice it up even more. The giraffe i feel has too many lines already finished on it. you could give it a crazy tail too, and with one crayon movement, you could make the giraffe have a big smile too. That's all i got for ya right now. I like this soncept a lot, so keep working on it. Trees would be a neat addition. This could be like the kid's version of the "color by numbers" printed shirt!

I think your crayon texture needs to have more variation.

not enough dots on the elephant to convince me this is a connect the dots piece

thanks everyone great criticism keep it comin!

Wasn't to sure on the image to start off with but its growing on me. I personally i like the giraffe better than the elephant, an think that the giraffe along could make a really cool t-shirt.

nah i don't think you need another colour ay. just keep it simple. I too like the giraffe, how bout a zebra? the patterns could look really coolin the style you did the elephant. Like instead of line on the zebra have lightnign bolts ect.

i agree. But i think i can make the elephant better. I don't think I will make the giraffe smile because i want him to look sophisticated :) I think the elephant needs more curves.

OR

Like I said, I could just have the giraffe by himself

what does everyone think?

White is best. I like the concept. If you're going to use dots (which I liked) you should actually draw them instead of just using the dotted line in flash.

just the dots and black lines and the crayon shape...like the original design... then again what do i know? im just a frickin art teacher. maybe the crayons make it more emo, therefore perfect for threadless.

crayon marks that is

i dont know how to make crayon marks. AND i dont have a scanner

how many times do ihave to tell you ido, but im digging the elephant more than the giraffe, even though im tall like one...should it look like the giraffe wants to hit up that elephant?

i think this would make the most sense if it was kept as 2 animals, and that they were pages in a colouring book. random animals together isn't as cool. also... shouldn't the dots have numbers? my dots always had numbers. i love this concept... don't give up (and i like the elephant better, and i like the subtle-ness... such as the earring... i don't think everything has to be 'in-your-face'). great job!

in that case, can someone please draw me a coloring book? haha

OK SO HERES WHAT V3 WILL INCLUDE:

Less black lines on giraffe

Uniform dot size with no smoothing

placement and color options

trees (probably adding green to the colors)

I still don't know what the third animal should be and what style. Joaquin suggested an emo parrot XD

changing earring to stud

I don't plan on putting it in a coloring book.

Color options I'm thinking of are natural, green, and purple, maybe red.

natural-colors would have to be darker

red-you should not use pink

green and purple sounds the best

the bubbles and blower didnt come out so great compressed...

with trees

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c399/ltdan1504/wtrees.jpg

My problem with this version is that both the giraffe and the snake have a lot going on...

but the elephant seems so plain compared to them...nice concept ...keep working on it!



4

what do you suggest i do to it? im thinking of taking off the bubbles and blower so the snake is more toned down

please vote and explain votes

dont get rid of the bubbles, give the elephant some shades

with or without trees? which color?

sunglasses! yess!!!! oh eloy all your art education amounted to that comment alone

trees or sans trees?

ahem.

maybe just not soo much spots on the jeeraf and snake

whats a sans tree?

sans means without

oh, try it with it...trial and error is the only way to find out how to do things

aug 16 is deadline for gmail comp

Maybe just one tree, for the snake to come out of, and to make the whole thing a little less perfectly symmetrical. The Elephant is genius. The reason he seems better than the other two, to me, is that his lines are actually not following the pattern they should. The giraffe's and snake's follow the right lines. They just have extra colors and hearts and stuff added.



With the white lines, it's harder to tell what it is supposed to be. I had to go back to version one before I got it. I really love the idea! I think adding a tree could help it look more "coloring book." You also might want to try adding in more dots? I'm not sure if it would look good.



The colored parts on the giraffe are too well drawn. Maybe a little more "box necked" instead of having the perfect shoulder area?

thanks everyone for feedback. i only wish i had more empty hours to work on this more

getting feedback in a critique is the second most difficult thing on threadless

of course, getting a winning design is the hardest thing

fill the elephant somewhow like the snake and giraffe are filled in

read above comments

just a little more feedback and ill get started on v4

should this be entered into gmail loves, or would it get eaten alive?

new game! what score do you think this design would get?!?

...

ok here's what v4 will have

no spots on giraffe

less conformity on snake

pink shades on 'phant. (maybe)

commencing tomoorrow

time to give up on this one...

i am going to submit this, but just the giraffe. plus I will take the elephant's stripes and throw em on the giraffe